The following program is not a rerun. However, it is a lot like a bunch of other shows. I'd rather see an original rerun. click
1 April 2004
My next guest, as you can see, has two heads. Has this been a problem for you? A PROBLEM?! NOOO! Ever hear the expression "two heads are better than one!?! ...ever hear it EIGHT GAZILLION TIMES A DAY?!! I think he hit a nerve.
2 April 2004
click Z It...it can't be! It's a dream come true!!! Z The All-SLEEP channel!!!
3 April 2004
You know, you guys totally absorb my life. I never have time to myself! Not a minute alone! You're always around! Thank you.
4 April 2004
Good morning, Garfield. Wait a minute! I don't remember putting socks on my hands! Gah! My underwear is on the outside of my jammies!! I think I'll spend today far away.
5 April 2004
I'm ignoring you. Ignoring me? And you had to tell me about it?! Amateur!
6 April 2004
Are you ignoring me? Not really. Because I wish you would. CAN'T I JUST STAND HERE?!
7 April 2004
* ding ZIP! GULP Why do I bother baking cookies?
8 April 2004
You shouldn't eat so fast. I think you're right, Jon. My teeth were getting hot.
9 April 2004
BURRRRRRRRRRRR ...RRRRRRRRRRP! That burp lasted through four rooms! You're amazing.
10 April 2004
11 April 2004
If you had the chance, would you actually bite me? No. My vet put me on a low-fat diet. And who says exercise is good for your health?
12 April 2004
I have an idea, Garfield. We ca play a little game. Let's play "Find the Feet". Is this one of those sarcastic games?
13 April 2004
Ypu're fat. Am not.
14 April 2004
This came in the mail for you. Maybe now you'll consider dieting. You've been classified as a small planet! Cool!
15 April 2004
I could go for a S7-course meal. You need to go on a diet. 56?
16 April 2004
Today you start your new diet. Oh, no! This calls for desperate measures! I must travel back through time to avoid it! Hey! Boy, you cave men are ugly!
17 April 2004
Sigh.. Well, I'm on a diet again, and you know what that means... Sorry I'm late! Food hallucinations. There was a little twelve-pickle pileup in the kitchen. Traffic was backed up for several floor tiles. Not very filling, butalways entertaining.
18 April 2004
I had a dream about food. BURP With onions.
19 April 2004
Garfield, I know you're on a diet... But how would you like a whole, entire bowl of food? -
20 April 2004
Here is your veggie burger, Garfield. What?! Are the cows on strike?
21 April 2004
How's the salad? Ask it yourself. I'm not speaking to it.
22 April 2004
I'll be right back. crinkle I heard that candy wrapper! What makes you think it wasn't a celery stalk wrapper?
23 April 2004
Garfield, I've decided to take up woodworking. What would you like me to make first? Lasagna.
24 April 2004
Mmmmm... Good ol' grass... Green... Soft...cool... And when you lie on it... The only way you can look is up. Let's hear it for spiritual moments!
25 April 2004
Let the bad times roll!
26 April 2004
Sometimes I have to wonder, Garfield... Where is life taking me? How about OVER THERE, garlic breath?
27 April 2004
My back itches. Great news, Jon! Your pathetic existence is about to have some purpose! I feel so fulfilled. Lower.
28 April 2004
They've improved your cat food. It doesn't look and smell as disgusting as it used to be. Then it isn't cat food.
29 April 2004
There are a lot of things going on in the world you don't know about. And let's keep it that way.
30 April 2004