The following program is not a rerun. - However, it is a lot like a bunch of other shows. - I'd rather see an original rerun. click
1 April 2004
My next guest, as you can see, has two heads. - Has this been a problem for you? A PROBLEM?! NOOO! - Ever hear the expression "two heads are better than one!?! ...ever hear it EIGHT GAZILLION TIMES A DAY?!! I think he hit a nerve.
2 April 2004
click - Z It...it can't be! It's a dream come true!!! - Z - The All-SLEEP channel!!!
3 April 2004
- You know, you guys totally absorb my life. - I never have time to myself! - Not a minute alone! - You're always around! - - Thank you.
4 April 2004
Good morning, Garfield. - Wait a minute! I don't remember putting socks on my hands! - Gah! My underwear is on the outside of my jammies!! I think I'll spend today far away.
5 April 2004
I'm ignoring you. Ignoring me? - And you had to tell me about it?! - Amateur!
6 April 2004
- Are you ignoring me? Not really. - Because I wish you would. CAN'T I JUST STAND HERE?!
7 April 2004
- * ding ZIP! - GULP Why do I bother baking cookies?
8 April 2004
You shouldn't eat so fast. - I think you're right, Jon. - My teeth were getting hot.
9 April 2004
BURRRRRRRRRRRR - ...RRRRRRRRRRP! - That burp lasted through four rooms! You're amazing.
10 April 2004
hop hop hop - Excuse me, Mr. Cat, sir... - would you like to contribute to our blood drive? - Even a small donation would be greatly appreciated. - You're a flea, aren't you? Um...well, uh...Yeh, I guess. - STONK - That teeny hurse's cap
11 April 2004
If you had the chance, would you actually bite me? - No. My vet put me on a low-fat diet. - And who says exercise is good for your health?
12 April 2004
I have an idea, Garfield. - We ca play a little game. - Let's play "Find the Feet". Is this one of those sarcastic games?
13 April 2004
- - Ypu're fat. Am not.
14 April 2004
This came in the mail for you. - Maybe now you'll consider dieting. - You've been classified as a small planet! Cool!
15 April 2004
I could go for a S7-course meal. - You need to go on a diet. - 56?
16 April 2004
Today you start your new diet. Oh, no! This calls for desperate measures! - I must travel back through time to avoid it! - Hey! Boy, you cave men are ugly!
17 April 2004
Sigh.. - Well, I'm on a diet again, and you know what that means... - Sorry I'm late! Food hallucinations. - There was a little twelve-pickle pileup in the kitchen. - Traffic was backed up for several floor tiles. - - Not very filling, but
18 April 2004
I had a dream about food. - BURP - With onions.
19 April 2004
Garfield, I know you're on a diet... - But how would you like a whole, entire bowl of food? -
20 April 2004
Here is your veggie burger, Garfield. - What?! - Are the cows on strike?
21 April 2004
- - How's the salad? Ask it yourself. I'm not speaking to it.
22 April 2004
I'll be right back. - crinkle - I heard that candy wrapper! What makes you think it wasn't a celery stalk wrapper?
23 April 2004
Garfield, I've decided to take up woodworking. - What would you like me to make first? - Lasagna.
24 April 2004
Mmmmm... - Good ol' grass... - Green... - Soft...cool... - And when you lie on it... - The only way you can look is up. - Let's hear it for spiritual moments!
25 April 2004
- - Let the bad times roll!
26 April 2004
Sometimes I have to wonder, Garfield... - Where is life taking me? - How about OVER THERE, garlic breath?
27 April 2004
My back itches. - Great news, Jon! Your pathetic existence is about to have some purpose! - I feel so fulfilled. Lower.
28 April 2004
They've improved your cat food. - It doesn't look and smell as disgusting as it used to be. - Then it isn't cat food.
29 April 2004
There are a lot of things going on in the world you don't know about. - - And let's keep it that way.
30 April 2004