I had a bad haircut. Two wrongs don't make a right, pal!
1 November 2005
You can't fool me. What? You're up to something. No, I'm not. But now I feel obligated. KICK
2 November 2005
BIP BIP BOOP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOP Welcome to Luigi's Pizza...if you'd like a pizza, touch one... How can a number wear off of a keypad? Touching it 10,000 times might do the trick.
3 November 2005
Thelma Lou Lickspittle! I wonder if she ever got married? For her sake, I sure hope so.
4 November 2005
GARFIELD! Let's hear it for flocked wallpaper.
5 November 2005
6 November 2005
Tonight, on "Snack and Chat," we have with us the world's largest woman. So, Ma'am, to what do you attribute your size? You gotta finish that? I'm going to have to start a fan club.
7 November 2005
And what is your special talent, sir? I play the saw. ** * ** * *** Whoops. *BWONG* SLAP OW! Is there a carpenter in the house?
8 November 2005
Welcome to "Rice is Nice!" The cooking show where ALL we cook is rice...on EVERY show... Is that UNDERSTOOD?! Sounds like SOMEone could use a cheeseburger.
9 November 2005
Oh, Marie! I could never live without you! Nor I you, Ted! Let's get married! Oooookaaay...let me just check my schedule... MUHWEE! COME MACK! COME MACK! MUHWEE! It's tough to talk with a day planner in your nose.
10 November 2005
Next, on "Most Amazing Police Chases"... Stop. Okay. That IS amazing.
11 November 2005
My next guest is a big rock. THUD Thanks for dropping in. Gooood-bye.
12 November 2005
grumble Time for a midnight snack. chomp chew chomp chew GULP GULP BURP! Whoops. Ate the bulb again.
13 November 2005
I have a smart alarm clock. It had the good sense not to get me up early. Your alarm clock is eating your breakfast.
14 November 2005
Hey, Odie! Fetch the stick! A little quick on the draw there, aren't we, trigger?
15 November 2005
YAWN zzzzz I swallowed a fly! Come onnnnn, dessert!
16 November 2005
What a nice day. But they never last. Stupid nice day.
17 November 2005
People with pets tend to live longer. That's hard to believe. Boy, tamper with a guy's brakes just once and you're marked for life!
18 November 2005
Question: is everything better with melted cheese on it? I have a missing sweatsock. Anser: "No".
19 November 2005
20 November 2005
Who wants pizza? What are you doing? My today-really-stunk-until-this-moment dance.
21 November 2005
I'd like an extra large pizza with triple toppings of everything. Yes...I'm the guy with the cat. Yes...I'll leave the money on the driveway. Wimps.
22 November 2005
How about pizza again tonight? What? I've never loved you more than at this very moment.
23 November 2005
PUT THE TURKEY BACK! I was just taking it for a walk.
24 November 2005
Garfield, what's a five-letter word for "a flat bread dough covered with tomato sauce, cheese, herbs, meat, and various... You dial. You order. beep boop boop.
25 November 2005
I'd like to travel the world. What a wonderful ambition, Jon! I say, go for it! And bring back a pizza!
26 November 2005
27 November 2005
The first snowflake! YESSSSS! Hot chocolate season is here!
28 November 2005
Christmas may not be able to get here fast enough... WHUMP But WINTER sure can.
29 November 2005
Garfield...Santa Claus is coming to town! Really? He can share MY room!
30 November 2005