- I had a bad haircut. - Two wrongs don't make a right, pal!
1 November 2005
You can't fool me. What? - You're up to something. No, I'm not. - But now I feel obligated. KICK
2 November 2005
BIP BIP BOOP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOP - Welcome to Luigi's Pizza...if you'd like a pizza, touch one... - How can a number wear off of a keypad? Touching it 10,000 times might do the trick.
3 November 2005
Thelma Lou Lickspittle! - I wonder if she ever got married? - For her sake, I sure hope so.
4 November 2005
- - GARFIELD! Let's hear it for flocked wallpaper.
5 November 2005
- - - BARK -
6 November 2005
Tonight, on "Snack and Chat," we have with us the world's largest woman. - So, Ma'am, to what do you attribute your size? - You gotta finish that? I'm going to have to start a fan club.
7 November 2005
And what is your special talent, sir? I play the saw. - ** * ** * *** Whoops. - *BWONG* SLAP OW! Is there a carpenter in the house?
8 November 2005
Welcome to "Rice is Nice!" - The cooking show where ALL we cook is rice...on EVERY show... - Is that UNDERSTOOD?! Sounds like SOMEone could use a cheeseburger.
9 November 2005
Oh, Marie! I could never live without you! Nor I you, Ted! Let's get married! - Oooookaaay...let me just check my schedule... - MUHWEE! COME MACK! COME MACK! MUHWEE! It's tough to talk with a day planner in your nose.
10 November 2005
Next, on "Most Amazing Police Chases"... - Stop. - Okay. That IS amazing.
11 November 2005
My next guest is a big rock. - THUD - Thanks for dropping in. Gooood-bye.
12 November 2005
grumble - Time for a midnight snack. - - chomp chew chomp chew GULP GULP - - BURP! - Whoops. Ate the bulb again.
13 November 2005
I have a smart alarm clock. - It had the good sense not to get me up early. - Your alarm clock is eating your breakfast.
14 November 2005
Hey, Odie! - Fetch the stick! - A little quick on the draw there, aren't we, trigger?
15 November 2005
YAWN zzzzz - I swallowed a fly! - Come onnnnn, dessert!
16 November 2005
What a nice day. - But they never last. - Stupid nice day.
17 November 2005
People with pets tend to live longer. - That's hard to believe. - Boy, tamper with a guy's brakes just once and you're marked for life!
18 November 2005
Question: is everything better with melted cheese on it? - I have a missing sweatsock. - Anser: "No".
19 November 2005
- - - - THONK - -
20 November 2005
Who wants pizza? - - What are you doing? My today-really-stunk-until-this-moment dance.
21 November 2005
I'd like an extra large pizza with triple toppings of everything. - Yes...I'm the guy with the cat. - Yes...I'll leave the money on the driveway. Wimps.
22 November 2005
How about pizza again tonight? - - What? I've never loved you more than at this very moment.
23 November 2005
- - PUT THE TURKEY BACK! I was just taking it for a walk.
24 November 2005
Garfield, what's a five-letter word for "a flat bread dough covered with tomato sauce, cheese, herbs, meat, and various... - - You dial. You order. beep boop boop.
25 November 2005
I'd like to travel the world. - What a wonderful ambition, Jon! I say, go for it! - And bring back a pizza!
26 November 2005
- - - - - - Dog origami.
27 November 2005
The first snowflake! - YESSSSS! - Hot chocolate season is here!
28 November 2005
Christmas may not be able to get here fast enough... - WHUMP - But WINTER sure can.
29 November 2005
Garfield...Santa Claus is coming to town! - Really? - He can share MY room!
30 November 2005