Sigh... - Well, Jon went up to fix the leaky roof again... - Who knows why our roof leaks... - Maybe our shingles are cracked... - Or warped... - WHUMP! - ...but I strongly suspect they're loose. Mommy...
1 May 2005
Well, well, you're finally up! - Do you realize you slept for 23 straight hours? * - And I can do without the little victory dance!!
2 May 2005
- Dogs. - Dogs can look busy even when they're doing nothing.
3 May 2005
You'd never lie to me, would you? - WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! - Of course not.
4 May 2005
Beware Of The Dog - Grrrr - That sign was somewhat underestimated.
5 May 2005
I asked that cute librarian out again today. - And?... - She told me to be quiet and fined me. I'm sure it was long overdue.
6 May 2005
Injuries are something we athletes have to live with. - - Got a paper cut playing chess by mail.
7 May 2005
- click - I love this show. - It always has a happy ending. - - *ding See? - Cookies are done.
8 May 2005
Women... - - Where's mine?! Most likely in hiding.
9 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. - We went to a petting zoo... - And a goat ate my pants. Nice teddy bear boxers.
10 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. - We went to a fancy french restaurant. And I ordered her a tennis shoe souffle. Properly prepared, they're really quite tasty.
11 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. - We went sailing. - Ever had a mizzenmast stuck up your- No, and let's talk about anything else right now.
12 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. - We went to the fair and I ate four chili-cheese dogs. - Then we rode the screaming weevil. Hey! I'm having breakfast here!
13 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. - She left in the middle of the meal with the valet parking guy. - In my car. Ouch.
14 May 2005
- You know, Garfield, sometimes I feel like a failure. - Maybe I could have made better decisions in my life. - Jon, you decided to have pets who love you... - So you can never be a failure. pat pat - Now, this self-pity thing isn't going to
15 May 2005
You know... - It's not the size of the nap that counts... - -it's howmany you can squeeze into an afternoon.
16 May 2005
- - So much for home barbering. I thought I did a pretty good job.
17 May 2005
- Excuse me. Have you seen my uncle Dave? Perhaps. - What does he taste like?
18 May 2005
The simple act of sitting in a chair... - ...Odie... - Not even a whisper of a clue.
19 May 2005
I'm a lonely guy, Garfield. - Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely... - -lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely...
20 May 2005
Here's a pet survey, Garfield. - "What is your pet's most endearing feature?" - Hmmm... I never killed anything that wasn't sick.
21 May 2005
rrrrr - grrrrr - rrrrr - phew! pant pant - - yip! yip! yip! It's the old garden-hose-comes-to-life gag.
22 May 2005
Hello? Mrs. Feeny? - He did what? - Well, that doesn't sound too bad. Ah, but the day is young.
23 May 2005
* RIIINNG - Hello, Mrs. Feeny. How are you? - She's NOT fine! I kinda figured that.
24 May 2005
That was Mrs. Feeny. - Although she was kind of hard to understand. - I think she said she wanted her dentures back. She'll have to arm wrestle my sock puppet for them.
25 May 2005
* RIIINNG - * RIIINNG - * RIIINNG I'm not going to answer that. You'd better. Mrs. Feeny's on her cell phone in the front yard.
26 May 2005
That was Mrs. Feeny. Yeeeees? - What's all this about her chihuahua and papier-mache? - Let's just say the mummy lives.
27 May 2005
SLAM! - - Never flirt with a touchy grocery checker. I notice she double-bagged you.
28 May 2005
- - STOP! - The cook lost his cell phone! - ** ** That would explain the ringing in my ears.
29 May 2005
You know... - I'd give anything to know what's going on inside that head of yours. Hmm. - 500 pounds of lasagna oughta do it. You're drooling.
30 May 2005
I'm headed out. So? - I'm going downtown. Who cares? - To get cat food. I miss you already, buddy!
31 May 2005