Sigh... Well, Jon went up to fix the leaky roof again... Who knows why our roof leaks... Maybe our shingles are cracked... Or warped... WHUMP! ...but I strongly suspect they're loose. Mommy...
1 May 2005
Well, well, you're finally up! Do you realize you slept for 23 straight hours? * And I can do without the little victory dance!!
2 May 2005
Dogs. Dogs can look busy even when they're doing nothing.
3 May 2005
You'd never lie to me, would you? WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! Of course not.
4 May 2005
Beware Of The Dog Grrrr That sign was somewhat underestimated.
5 May 2005
I asked that cute librarian out again today. And?... She told me to be quiet and fined me. I'm sure it was long overdue.
6 May 2005
Injuries are something we athletes have to live with. Got a paper cut playing chess by mail.
7 May 2005
click I love this show. It always has a happy ending. *ding See? Cookies are done.
8 May 2005
Women... Where's mine?! Most likely in hiding.
9 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. We went to a petting zoo... And a goat ate my pants. Nice teddy bear boxers.
10 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. We went to a fancy french restaurant. And I ordered her a tennis shoe souffle. Properly prepared, they're really quite tasty.
11 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. We went sailing. Ever had a mizzenmast stuck up your No, and let's talk about anything else right now.
12 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. We went to the fair and I ate four chili-cheese dogs. Then we rode the screaming weevil. Hey! I'm having breakfast here!
13 May 2005
Bad date, Garfield. She left in the middle of the meal with the valet parking guy. In my car. Ouch.
14 May 2005
You know, Garfield, sometimes I feel like a failure. Maybe I could have made better decisions in my life. Jon, you decided to have pets who love you... So you can never be a failure. pat pat Now, this self-pity thing isn't going todelay dinner, is it?
15 May 2005
You know... It's not the size of the nap that counts... -it's howmany you can squeeze into an afternoon.
16 May 2005
So much for home barbering. I thought I did a pretty good job.
17 May 2005
Excuse me. Have you seen my uncle Dave? Perhaps. What does he taste like?
18 May 2005
The simple act of sitting in a chair... ...Odie... Not even a whisper of a clue.
19 May 2005
I'm a lonely guy, Garfield. Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely... -lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely...
20 May 2005
Here's a pet survey, Garfield. "What is your pet's most endearing feature?" Hmmm... I never killed anything that wasn't sick.
21 May 2005
rrrrr grrrrr rrrrr phew! pant pant yip! yip! yip! It's the old garden-hose-comes-to-life gag.
22 May 2005
Hello? Mrs. Feeny? He did what? Well, that doesn't sound too bad. Ah, but the day is young.
23 May 2005
* RIIINNG Hello, Mrs. Feeny. How are you? She's NOT fine! I kinda figured that.
24 May 2005
That was Mrs. Feeny. Although she was kind of hard to understand. I think she said she wanted her dentures back. She'll have to arm wrestle my sock puppet for them.
25 May 2005
* RIIINNG * RIIINNG * RIIINNG I'm not going to answer that. You'd better. Mrs. Feeny's on her cell phone in the front yard.
26 May 2005
That was Mrs. Feeny. Yeeeees? What's all this about her chihuahua and papier-mache? Let's just say the mummy lives.
27 May 2005
SLAM! Never flirt with a touchy grocery checker. I notice she double-bagged you.
28 May 2005
STOP! The cook lost his cell phone! ** ** That would explain the ringing in my ears.
29 May 2005
You know... I'd give anything to know what's going on inside that head of yours. Hmm. 500 pounds of lasagna oughta do it. You're drooling.
30 May 2005
I'm headed out. So? I'm going downtown. Who cares? To get cat food. I miss you already, buddy!
31 May 2005