It's new year's eve resolution time, Garfield. Go for it. This year I resolve to grow a moustache! A bigm HONKING moustache! And I resolve to work out! And to let my hair grow long and wavy! And to put you on a diet. Heck with it.Wanna order a pizza? Make
It's the "All-Remote" channel! click So put that remote down, guys! We click through every channel for you! click click click FINALLY! A channel that takes all the work out of being lazy. click click click click
Garfield, why don't women like me? They all say, "Oh, Jon, you're so nice...you'll make someone a wonderful husband," but I'm never right for them. Why, Garfield, why?!! Because they're lying to you, Jon.
Z BUMP! What was that? I heard something go bump in the night! BUMP! There it is again! ...it's getting louder! It's coming this way! BUMP! The bump in the night is coming for me!! BUMP! EEEYAAAAHHH!! It's cold out here. I THEDI'm sorry.
We have with us tonight a man who hasn't spoken in 32 years. Good evening, sir. Good eve Uh...can I take that back? No, sir. You distinctly spoke. No, I didn't. There! You spoke again! His lips aren't really moving that much.
Good evening. We ask that you please remain seated for the duration of the performance... ...and to kindly hold your applause until the show's conclusion. Also, no smoking, talking, flash photography, beepers, laser pointers, or cellphones. KONK! -or pin
One cookie left... That one old cookie that's lain in the bottom of the jar forever. Covered in the ancient dust of a million other cookies and the fingerprints of a million grimy hands. ...stale, rock hard, and hideouslymalformed...the "elephant co
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, -Please, please, please, please, please, please go out with me. One more "please" might have done it. No, that would have sounded like begging.
I have ESP. I know exactly what you're going to say. I'm going to pull your ears over your head and tie them into a knot. Then I'm going to stretch your upper lip over your chin, and then I'm going to pull your right shoe off and stuff itup your left nost
The good night kiss was a disaster. I missed her face and kissed her bug zapper. Now my back fillings are picking up a hula station on Maui. Hey! Do you suppose there's an all-night luau joint around here?
bip bip boop Hi, Ellen? It's Jon! How have you been? Great! And work, how's work? ...oh, good to hear! Hey, listen, Ellen, I suppose you're wondering why I called... You see, it's been quite a while since I had a date... And I'mabout as desperate as a mon
Let's see...what should I wear when I take you to see Dr. Liz... Do you think I should bring flowers? To a vet appointment?! I wonder if it's too late to grow a moustache? Oh, this just has fun written all OVER it.
Why are you visiting the vet? For a checkup. I'm fine, actually. Are you sure? You look a little green around the gills. Really? And there's that scratchy throat thing going around... Cough! -that escalates into fierce hackingattacks! COUGH HACK WHEEZE H
Please excuse me, whoever you are...I need to go and powder my nose. Boy, she really DOES have amnesia, Garfield. What are we gonna do? Amnesia, huh? So, she won't remember if she ate her dessert or not... Don't even think about it.
I don't believe it! Liz is out with another guy!...but why?! I bet if I disguise dmyself as a french waiter I could find out what was going on over there. But that would be incredibly stupid, wouldn't it? Absolutely. I'm goin' in.My hero!
Liz, why are you going out with THIS guy? What do you mean, "THIS GUY"? YOU said your social calendar was all booked up... I was trying to impress you! Well, I had to go out with SOMEone, didn't I? Hey! I'm SITTING RIGHT HERE!
Two, please. How did Garfield deal with having to stay home tonight, Jon? He was pretty broken up about it, but he's gotta learn that you and I need time for ourselves. If you'd like pepperoni, press one.
Don't even think about it, cat. If you take one step closer, I'll call for reinforcements. OKAY, GET HIM, MEN! CLANK CLUNK CLINK CLANK CLUNK CLANK CLANK CLINK Allright! A sushi bar! This didn't have quite the effect I was hopingfor.
Dr. Wilson is with a patient right now, Mr. Arbuckle. Can I take a message? Uh huh? ...dinner tonight? ...where? ...formal dress or casual? ...what time? ...will you be bringing flowers? ... What are my intentions? She's good.
This is fun, Jon. What would you like to do for dinner? Why don't we just order chinese food and watch an old Christmas movie o TV? He gets emotional around the holidays, doesn't he? Actually, I think it was the chinese food that did it.
I heard something... Did you hear something? It sounded like big boots clomping around! And look! The cookies are gone! You don't suppose... clomp clomp clomp clomp CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP munch munch munch munch