Right, thanks for the reminder, Janice. - She calls me once a week to tell me she'll never go out with me. - She can't stop thinking about me. You devil.
1 April 2006
Z - Z - Z - chirp * Z - Z - BARK - Z
2 April 2006
Time to spring into action! - Huuuuut! - The spirit is weak, but the springer is weak.
3 April 2006
Some days I love my pets. - - And other days I wish I'd kept the receipts. * CRASH!
4 April 2006
I don't exist to serve you! - Sad... - So your life has no meaning at all...
5 April 2006
BEWARE OF SIGN - Dumb sign. - SMACK!!
6 April 2006
Who wants to have a party?! - - Me neither.
7 April 2006
Becky, how about if we- - I almost managed to ask her for a date before she hung up on me. - I must talk faster! Now you got it.
8 April 2006
Dinner! - Gimme! JUST a minute... - Other cats meow when they want their food. - - - ...line? MEOW! -
9 April 2006
Garfield, that woman smiled at me. - Wait, was that a flirting smile, or a pity smile? - Or a "look-at-the-zit-on-his-forehead" smile?! Mr. Insecurity.
10 April 2006
Hey there, what's up? - I'm being annoyed by some guy with a cat. - The brute. And thinl how embarrassed his poor cat must be.
11 April 2006
That's my date and me at the fall dance. - The theme that year was "undersea fantasy". - It was just a coicidence that she had gills. My, she's a lovely shade of green.
12 April 2006
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, - -Please, please, please, please, please, please go out with me. - One more "please" might have done it. No, that would have sounded like begging.
13 April 2006
Karen thinks she and I should see other people. - She thinks it would be healthy for both of us. - An odd conversation for a first date... But civilized.
14 April 2006
I have ESP. - I know exactly what you're going to say. - I'm going to pull your ears over your head and tie them into a knot. Then I'm going to stretch your upper lip over your chin, and then I'm going to pull your right shoe off and stuff it
15 April 2006
- Yawn - Yawn - Yawn - click - THUD -
16 April 2006
Oh, this isn't my sign. Beware of the Cat - But I like hanging around it. - We're talking about intimidation by association.
17 April 2006
you'll do what I say because I'm the boss! - - You're cute when you're delusional. pat pat pat
18 April 2006
I thoight it was tuesday. - But as it turns out, it's wednesday. - BUT IN SPITE OF THAT STARTLING REVELATION, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MAN IS STILL ABLE TO FUNCTION!
19 April 2006
Beware of Vicious Dog Pretty impressive sign, eh? - Do you know what it says= I have no idea, - Good!
20 April 2006
There's a great big world out there! Really? - Yup. - Say it IS big. Hey!
21 April 2006
The good night kiss was a disaster. - I missed her face and kissed her bug zapper. - Now my back fillings are picking up a hula station on Maui. Hey! Do you suppose there's an all-night luau joint around here?
22 April 2006
bip bip boop - Hi, Ellen? It's Jon! How have you been? - Great! And work, how's work? ...oh, good to hear! - Hey, listen, Ellen, I suppose you're wondering why I called... - You see, it's been quite a while since I had a date... - And I'm
23 April 2006
This movie looks interesting... - It's a courtroom drama. I don't really get into those. - "Godzilla vs. the Board of Education". However...
24 April 2006
BOOT - - THUD
25 April 2006
The ad says this movie is "fun for the whole family". - - Hey, we're family, right? In a dysfunctional sorta way.
26 April 2006
I love animated animals. - - Is that a yodeling toaster? I've never seen kitchen appliances in a conga line before.
27 April 2006
- - Someone here order some zany hijinks? Don't you dare.
28 April 2006
Citizens in distress, you say?! THIS is a job for... - - Indecisive Man.
29 April 2006
- - rattle - rattle rattle rattle rattle - click - - Too good for the pet door? It's a dignity thing.
30 April 2006