Right, thanks for the reminder, Janice. She calls me once a week to tell me she'll never go out with me. She can't stop thinking about me. You devil.
1 April 2006
Z Z Z chirp * Z Z BARK Z
2 April 2006
Time to spring into action! Huuuuut! The spirit is weak, but the springer is weak.
3 April 2006
Some days I love my pets. And other days I wish I'd kept the receipts. * CRASH!
4 April 2006
I don't exist to serve you! Sad... So your life has no meaning at all...
5 April 2006
BEWARE OF SIGN Dumb sign. SMACK!!
6 April 2006
Who wants to have a party?! Me neither.
7 April 2006
Becky, how about if we I almost managed to ask her for a date before she hung up on me. I must talk faster! Now you got it.
8 April 2006
Dinner! Gimme! JUST a minute... Other cats meow when they want their food. ...line? MEOW! -
9 April 2006
Garfield, that woman smiled at me. Wait, was that a flirting smile, or a pity smile? Or a "look-at-the-zit-on-his-forehead" smile?! Mr. Insecurity.
10 April 2006
Hey there, what's up? I'm being annoyed by some guy with a cat. The brute. And thinl how embarrassed his poor cat must be.
11 April 2006
That's my date and me at the fall dance. The theme that year was "undersea fantasy". It was just a coicidence that she had gills. My, she's a lovely shade of green.
12 April 2006
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, -Please, please, please, please, please, please go out with me. One more "please" might have done it. No, that would have sounded like begging.
13 April 2006
Karen thinks she and I should see other people. She thinks it would be healthy for both of us. An odd conversation for a first date... But civilized.
14 April 2006
I have ESP. I know exactly what you're going to say. I'm going to pull your ears over your head and tie them into a knot. Then I'm going to stretch your upper lip over your chin, and then I'm going to pull your right shoe off and stuff itup your left nost
15 April 2006
Yawn Yawn Yawn click THUD -
16 April 2006
Oh, this isn't my sign. Beware of the Cat But I like hanging around it. We're talking about intimidation by association.
17 April 2006
you'll do what I say because I'm the boss! You're cute when you're delusional. pat pat pat
18 April 2006
I thoight it was tuesday. But as it turns out, it's wednesday. BUT IN SPITE OF THAT STARTLING REVELATION, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MAN IS STILL ABLE TO FUNCTION!
19 April 2006
Beware of Vicious Dog Pretty impressive sign, eh? Do you know what it says= I have no idea, Good!
20 April 2006
There's a great big world out there! Really? Yup. Say it IS big. Hey!
21 April 2006
The good night kiss was a disaster. I missed her face and kissed her bug zapper. Now my back fillings are picking up a hula station on Maui. Hey! Do you suppose there's an all-night luau joint around here?
22 April 2006
bip bip boop Hi, Ellen? It's Jon! How have you been? Great! And work, how's work? ...oh, good to hear! Hey, listen, Ellen, I suppose you're wondering why I called... You see, it's been quite a while since I had a date... And I'mabout as desperate as a mon
23 April 2006
This movie looks interesting... It's a courtroom drama. I don't really get into those. "Godzilla vs. the Board of Education". However...
24 April 2006
25 April 2006
The ad says this movie is "fun for the whole family". Hey, we're family, right? In a dysfunctional sorta way.
26 April 2006
I love animated animals. Is that a yodeling toaster? I've never seen kitchen appliances in a conga line before.
27 April 2006
Someone here order some zany hijinks? Don't you dare.
28 April 2006
Citizens in distress, you say?! THIS is a job for... Indecisive Man.
29 April 2006
rattle rattle rattle rattle rattle click Too good for the pet door? It's a dignity thing.
30 April 2006