- rrrrrrr - ding a ling a ling a ling a ling a ling - grrrrrrr - ding a ling a ling a ling a ling a ling - grrrrrrrrrrr - ding a ling a ling a ling a ling Hello? Hello? We have too many ding-a-lings around here.
Garfield! Garfield, guess what I got Liz for our six-month anniversary... - Lovebirds! - They represent Liz and me, and the little bells symbolize the beautiful music we make together! Check out the chubbo. You said it. - Well, I better get
Thanks for the coffee, cup. No problem...and call me Joe. - You know, Joe, as far as nightmares go, this one could have been a whole lot worse. How? - It could have been decaffeinated. Now you're scaring ME, man.
RUNK-itta - RUNK-itta... RUNK-itta... RUNK-itta... - brap brap brap BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - AAAAAAAAA KRONK! DONKITTY KRONKITTY KRONKA KRONKA KRONKA - What's all that racket? PTOO! - - Old man Griewe just took out another lawn gnome with his
Only one person in this room could have murdered Mr. Thompson, and that person IS... - Oh...a question. Yes, you with the pickax? - Um...may I be excused? And to think I could have been watching Jon's socks tumble dry.
Now don't you worry about a thing, Mr. Lardmuckle. We'll be just fine. - If you get worried, just give me a call. Thanks...I might. - I'll have the phone beside me all night. You are so gonna pay for this.
Z - click - Ooh! Let's watch "Revenge of the Doofus Snatchers"! click - I was thinking more like "The Flowers that Betrayed Me". click - Well, then I say we watch wrestling! click - Not if we're watching "Tragic Love" first! click - See,
Another rainy sunday. - Rainy sundays are always the same...the steady patter of rain on the roof... - The comforting thrum of the furnace in the basement... - The sound of water rushing through the gutters and downspouts... - Jon shrieking
Thank you for coosing "Xan's Cafe Caffeine." I'm Xan, and I'll be your barista. - Prepare yourself for a relaxing and spiritual awakening for the body and mind. How may I help you? - Um...two coffees, please. This is a joke, right.
Okay, I'll talk to you soon... - Bye, Liz...yeah...me, too... - You want me to WHAT?! - - Liz, I can't kiss the phone...my cat is watching. - Yeah, I know that sounds weird. - Just trust me on this. One time for the camera phone, come on!
sigh... - Pooky, you're my best friend. - You're always there for me. - You give me hugs when I need them. - And you never tell me to go on a diet. - I can't imagine a day without you! - Now, more over, you're hogging the bed.
Hi, I'd like to request a song. - It's called "Polka in my Veins, Sauerkraut in my Lederhosen". - I thought morning deejays were supposed to be zany. I'm sure he meant "you sick freak" in the zaniest possible way.
I'm afraid there's been no word from the governor, Rocky...looks like this is it. - What do you want for your last meal? Gimme a cheeseburger. - And would you like that (hee hee) for here or to (snort) go? Rocky's not smiling.
- I think I'll change again and go for another dip in our kiddie pool. - YEEE!!! - WOOOOOO WOO WOO WOO WOO - HEE_HOO HEE-HOO HEE-HOO - YAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA - You've gotta love the "cold, wet swim trunks dance". YEE! YEE! HOOOOO HAAAH!! HUBERT,
I'm sorry about your date tonight, Liz. It was different. - I've never seen a restaurant run out of food before. That happens to us all the time. - And I've never been thrown out of an aquarium. That too.
XAN'S Cafe Caffeine - You know, this coffee bar is a nice place. - Very cosmopolitan...a really hip clientele... - And these cafe lattes are pretty darn good. - SLURP - I don't know why we don't go out more often. I do.
bip bip beep boop - Hi, Liz, wanna catch a movie? - "Martian Body Count" opened this week! - It's the prequel to "Doctor Decimator Atomizes Mars". - See, they're all part of a trilogy...the first one was "MArs Rising: Birth of the Dismember
That was good. - Let's see what your fortune cookie says... crack - "You are kind loving, creative, and origina. Good things are being said about you..." - "...sunshine, happiness, great success, and true love all await you in the near
Throw the switch, Igor! ...give my monster life!! ZZT - Hello. Have you really given careful thought to your long-term insurance needs? - I have a policy here that I think you'd love. SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF! I can't look.
- I love this movie. Me too. - This part always makes me cry... Awww...girls are so sensitive. - I'm sorry. I can't help it...it's *sniff* so sad... - There, there...let it out. - Um, will you excude me for a minute? - * HONK honk honk honk
bip bip boop boop bip - We'd like an extra-large pizza with extra-thick crust... - Extra sauce, extra cheese, extra pepperoni... - Extra olives, extra onions, extra green peppers, extra hot peppers... - Extra sausage, extra ground beef, extra
- Well, this is where it all happens, Mikey! - And this is my colleague, Mr. Cat! - Is he the one you call "fatso", dad? Yeah, well...uh...that's just a little joke between us... - So, ready to see your man in action?! Yeah! - BAT BAT - Okay,
I'm looking for a gift for my girlfriend. How about perfume? - I'm sure she'd love this one... It smells like an acre of wet dogs. - It's the one I'M wearing. And I LOVE the smell of wet dogs! Quit now, while you're behind.
click - BUY THESE! - TAKE THEM HOME AND STUFF 'EM IN YOUR MOUTH!! - CHEW THEM! SWALLOW THEM!! - So BUY THEM! - And EAT them! EAT them!! EAT THEM!!! - Oh, PULEEEEZE BUY THEM!!! Ed's International House of Fruitcakes.
I got a Christmas card from Dog Boy! - "Merry Christmas, you late-chuggin', tofu-huggin', cable TV-watchin', indoor-plumbin', touchy-feely, sissified-crybaby city boy". - I miss him. Me too...just like I miss tail mange.
...and there's my cell phone number. I will commit it tom memory. - Call me if there's any problem... I do not anticipate any breaches in discipline. - And, uh, there's onion dip in the fridge. Order must and shall be maintained at any and
** - I'm glad you and I could spend new year's eve together, Liz. Me too, Jon...this is wonderful. - No, it's more than wonderful...with you here, it's perfect. - beedle beedle beedle - Should I wanswer that? Answer what? beedle beedle beedle