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Garfield

We ought to make new year's resolutions. HA HA HA HA HA No, seriously. Please, let's not spoil the moment.

1 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

For new year's, why don't you resolve to lose 50 pounds? And why don't you resolve to stop being a dork? I'm only kidding. I'm not.

2 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I put my pants on backwards again. RATS! And anothe rnew year's resolution goes blooey.

3 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz has some leftover holiday fudge she's bringing over. SOME people do HAVE leftover fudge. What a concept.

4 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is bringing fudge over... Jon likes Liz, Liz likes Jon, and I like fudge. This could be the start of something beautiful.

5 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks for the fudge, Liz. Garfield thanks you too. He's very loving. Well, it IS Garfield... I've never had a cat kiss my feet before. And it IS fudge.

6 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

CRASH tinkle tinkle The lamp wanted you to have this. * honk

7 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

There's something wrong with my pants. Yeah. They're your shirt, dummy.

8 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! My headache is gone! I'm back.

9 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, kitty! You seem to be in a good mood. My owner just told me I'm a good doggy! Sometimes I envy dogs...

10 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

STOP SHEDDING! Whoa! That loosened up some hair!

11 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm a cat hair. I'm a cat. You seem useless. I'll bet you didn't always think that.

12 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah! What a great nap! I'd rank it in the top five for the day.

13 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP Ahem Bat me! BAT Again! I've invented the yo-yo yarn.

14 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Good coffee. Goooood coffee. Gooooooooooooooooo

15 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Louise, my darling, we've got just one chance! Yes, Trent?... You distract the monster, and I'll run away as fast as I can! You call THAT a PLAN?! I'd run NOW, Trent.

16 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Paddles and cookies? What are those for? My snow fly. -

17 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I found a quarter in the dryer! It was already yours, tycoon boy.

18 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

What's it all mean, Garfield? What's life all about? I'll say tuna.

19 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

NICE cats wouldn't put pickle juice in their owner's coffee! NICE cats have no fun.

20 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

rrrrrrr ding a ling a ling a ling a ling a ling grrrrrrr ding a ling a ling a ling a ling a ling grrrrrrrrrrr ding a ling a ling a ling a ling Hello? Hello? We have too many ding-a-lings around here.

21 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm a lucky guy, Garfield. I've got Liz, you, Odie... What more could I want? BRING THAT DONUT BACK!

22 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Love is weird. It just sort of sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Sort of like a chili dog in an elevator. I love cili dogs.

23 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

"Surprise your loved one with this special gift that will last for all eternity". "Comes with a free 30-day warranty". Eternity ain't what it used to be.

24 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I have been together almost six whole months now. That's the longest I've ever been with a girl. Moms don't count. Of course, if I don't count mom...

25 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I know just what to do for Liz on our anniversary, Garfield. I'll take her to "our" restaurant and have the band play "our" song. It'll be perfect. Binky Burger has a band?

26 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

How about dinner tomorrow, Liz? ...it's a special night, you know. She said every night with me is special. You're melting.

27 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Garfield, guess what I got Liz for our six-month anniversary... Lovebirds! They represent Liz and me, and the little bells symbolize the beautiful music we make together! Check out the chubbo. You said it. Well, I better getready for my date. Se

28 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You can't lie there forever. I accept that challenge!

29 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Look out, world! Here comes Garfield! I warned you. Huh? burp cough sniff scratch scratch

30 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I tried it, but I still don't get it.

31 January 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey... Where's my ball of yarn? You mean dad?

1 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I never get a call on my cell phone. Possibly because it's an electric razor.

2 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats live on instinct. And my instinct could go for some of those extra-spicy chicken wings.

3 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA I think I'll make a snowman instead. AAHhhhhhhh

4 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Goode evening, ladies and germs! WHISH! I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing! ZIP! Any requests? Get taller!

5 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I shall now attempt to read the mind of someone in the audience! KONG! Please, no clues.

6 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

zip zip zip zip KONK ZIP Ketchup?! We ran out of tomatoes.

7 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BONK! beedle beedle beedle U STINK

8 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Now for some impressions! Any requests? Cat falling off a fence! Yeah! And splattering himself all over the place! I hate audience participation.

9 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You've been a great audience tonight! There's nobody here but me. Oh. But you're great! I'm the janitor, you dork!

10 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

FLOWERS -

11 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Everything is mine, mine, mine! Correction. If we had anything, it would be mine, mine, mine!

12 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN YAWN I'm a trendsetter!

13 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

(ahem)... "Purr". How nice! I don't write 'em. I just read 'em.

14 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Snow! It's a blizzard! I'm flattered.

15 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

No two snowflakes are exactly alike. Wow... Jon had a busy winter.

16 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks for the coffee, cup. No problem...and call me Joe. You know, Joe, as far as nightmares go, this one could have been a whole lot worse. How? It could have been decaffeinated. Now you're scaring ME, man.

17 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

RUNK-itta RUNK-itta... RUNK-itta... RUNK-itta... brap brap brap BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA KRONK! DONKITTY KRONKITTY KRONKA KRONKA KRONKA What's all that racket? PTOO! Old man Griewe just took out another lawn gnome with hissnowblower.

18 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not a morning person. Lucky morning.

19 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Garfield, how can you stand on that fence without falling off?" Simple. Things aren't always as they seem.

20 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

The songbird didn't sho up at the feeder this morning. * *

21 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BAT That's my boy!

22 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm hungry. Though not as hungry as Jon. That was mine!

23 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Meow ** MEOW MEYOWWRR MEEYOW * Would you believe I haven't had any formal training?

24 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You're spoiled, you know. I am not, an where's my mint?

25 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

click click click click Quality, quality, quality, quality. click click click click Quality, quality, dreck, quality. click click Whoa! Back up there!

26 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

And what is your special talent, sir? I juggle chain saws to polka music. Fascinating...why chai saws? They're the only thing that'll drown polka music out. I like him.

27 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Tonight, it's "Alaskan Grizzly Mating Calls with Larry". Followed by "Yukon Emergency Room". With Larry. "With Larry".

28 February 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Only one person in this room could have murdered Mr. Thompson, and that person IS... Oh...a question. Yes, you with the pickax? Um...may I be excused? And to think I could have been watching Jon's socks tumble dry.

1 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing whatsoever happened in the world today. Everybody was watching television. Details at eleven. ...on the All-Irony Channel.

2 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

...and the cat ate, and ate, and ate... and ate, and ate... Until there was nothing left to eat. I hate sad endings.

3 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP plop Kitty Treats

4 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy monday. -

5 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Vegetarian aliens from outer space! This should be interesting. Take me to your broccoli. With pleasure!

6 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz thinks I'm handsome. And what does her guide dog think?

7 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Hey! Five more minutes...

8 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Why don't cats play fetch? sniff Cough. BURP We have too much dignity. scratch scratch

9 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Fetch the tree, Odie. Not THAT tree!

10 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z Z Z Garfield, look! Odie's sleepwalking! Z Z Garfield? -

11 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello. How's it going? Not bad. SMACK Yourself? I've been better.

12 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Spiders are disgusting! We are? SMACK Yes. Well, NOW, yeah!

13 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't swat me! SMACK Wait. Did you say, "don't"? THAT'S A RATHER MOOT POINT AT THIS JUNCTURE, DON'T YOU THINK?!

14 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish I were thinner. WHAP! I should write a diet book! I said, "thinner," not "flatter"!

15 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm cold. A nice hot cup of coffee should warm you up! WHAM Boy howdy, he wasn't kidding.

16 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

What happened to my uncle Dave? He got hit by a train. A TRAIN?! Train...train schedule, whatever. SMACK!

17 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

FWAP! DWONK!

18 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, Garfield. I brought you a cat treat. Gee, thanks. Was the store out of hams?

19 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I could use a hug. You got it! Odie! snap Uh, thanks, Garfield. Feel the love.

20 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'd like a bouquet of roses. stomp! stomp! stomp! And to pay for the daisies in your window display. That was invigorating!

21 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Breakfast, lunch and dinner are three SEPARATE meals. They are NOT intended to run together. Do you just make this stuff up to depress me?

22 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm Maynard, from the temporary cat services. I'll be filling in for Garfield while he takes a little personal time. I was told there would be food. Go away.

23 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not having fun. You're not? SLAP OW! That wasn't fun! Then I'm out of ideas.

24 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Do let me know when you've hit bottom. I could use a lantern down here!

25 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I are going out again... And this time I've hired a pet sitter. I think they took that well.

26 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, boys, the pet sitter is here...meet Lillian! Well, hel-* LOOOOO! My, you must be one of those HAIRless kitties! She could burn ants with those lenses.

27 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Now don't you worry about a thing, Mr. Lardmuckle. We'll be just fine. If you get worried, just give me a call. Thanks...I might. I'll have the phone beside me all night. You are so gonna pay for this.

28 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I bet ol' Miss Lillian knows what you two darlings want...homemade cookies! They'll be done in no time! ...hot and fresh out of the dishwasher. THUD Whoopsie!

29 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, HELLO, Mr. Turnbuckle...yes, we're doing fiiiine. They're behaving just like two little ANGELS. pat pat pat Well? I must have dialed a wrong number.

30 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I guess the pet sitter worked out fine, huh? OK, maybe not.

31 March 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Z click Ooh! Let's watch "Revenge of the Doofus Snatchers"! click I was thinking more like "The Flowers that Betrayed Me". click Well, then I say we watch wrestling! click Not if we're watching "Tragic Love" first! click See,

1 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You should stop drinking coffee. Maybe after this earthquake.

2 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to go for a walk in the park, Liz? Yes, I would. Cool! Can I come along? Why not? Mr. Insecurity.

3 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! Moo! It's MEOW! Told you I could make him say it!

4 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you no shame? Nope. I'm still a cat.

5 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

THUD! That was a pleasant walk.

6 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Life is filled with joy! Instead of lasagna, I decided to serve granola for dinner. Life was just toying with me.

7 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Another rainy sunday. Rainy sundays are always the same...the steady patter of rain on the roof... The comforting thrum of the furnace in the basement... The sound of water rushing through the gutters and downspouts... Jon shriekingat the top of his lungs

8 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll have a burger. Beef, turkey, chicken, tofu, veggie, buffalo, or ostrich? Hello? ...hello? Ah, the curse of the decision-impaired...brain lock.

9 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Our floor show is about to begin... It's time for... "The Chicken Dance"! * LA LA LA LA LA LA * You hit the lights. I'll eat the chrorus line.

10 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I call this "Jumpin' Java" Some Mexican jumping beans were accidentally ground in with the coffee beans. Could I get some cream and a mallet?

11 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

What's on the menu today, Irma? Dust bunny surprise. What's a "dust bunny"? And why are the floors cleaner than usual?

12 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Irma, the men's room is out of soap. Thanks, hon. HANDS OFF THE COUNTER!

13 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

How's the stew, hon? Stew? I thought this was SOUP! Oh. How's the soup, then?

14 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Ewww! There's a FLY in my coffee! zzzz What could be more disgusting than THAT?! That.

15 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

* SMACK You're mean! And you whistle off-key.

16 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

When I'm with Liz, I feel like a different person. When I'm with you, I feel like... Me. We pets do have that grounding effect on folks.

17 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz brings out the MAN in me! WAH-HA! HA! HA! *SNORT* HA! HA! HA! I prefer you laugh at me to my face! That would be impolite.

18 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow. That's a big bowlof dip. Chip coming through!

19 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I enjoy pretendig to read. It's important that we all keep up the illusion of being well-informed!

20 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

The more you learn... ...the more you... ...um... ...learn. Thank you, Professor Redundant.

21 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BOOT! WOOMP! BWONK! THOOMP! * BLOOONG You should be more active. I don't think Odie could take it.

22 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

This is my interpreter. This way you'll be able to understand what I'm saying! Meow Squeak What is going on here?

23 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Why did a mouse just hug me? I gave him your lunch.

24 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield... 5.9 Too high of a score?

25 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Isn't that sideways? Let's just say I'm not happy with my contractor.

26 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

What happened to all the cheese puffs? Okay, Skinny, let's see your fingers.

27 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Let go! Let go! Aha! I've got you now!

28 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

stomp stomp BOING BOING Keep Off Grass Talk about an open invitation!

29 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

If my life were any more exciting, I'd need a stunt double. That was a JOKE, Garfield. I'm not Garfield, I'm his stunt double.

30 April 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Everything Liz does is cute. Like the way her nose wrinkles when she yawns... I love that. And I'm sure you get to see it a lot when she's with you.

1 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh...love is just so great... I love love. Where are you going? Outside. This hairball's gonna be a whopper.

2 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I just got my shirt back from the cleaners and it's kinda snug. It has a name tag. Hey, wait a minute... This isn't my shirt! Really, "Brenda"?

3 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon says eating should be fun. Tonight's meal is entitled "The Joy of Corn". Ha, ha, ha, wheeeeee...

4 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm feeling kinda down. I could use a hug... No hug? How a sympathetic glance?

5 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

beware of Dog doinga doinga doinga -

6 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I wanted to wear something nice on my date tonight, Garfield... So I dug out my old high school prom tux! How did THIS ever go out of style? Your shirt looks like it's eating you.

7 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Liz! Ready to go? Jon! Um... Like the suit? You wouldn't believe the looks I've been getting! I...ah... Just like that one!

8 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Table for two, please. YAAAAAAHH!! MY EYES!! MY EYES!! It's the shirt, isn't it?

9 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Good evening. My name is Armando, and I will be your waiter tonig AYE, YI-YI, LOOK AT THAT SHIRT! Any specials tonight, Armando? EVIL!! EVIL!! Jon, button your coat.

10 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Sorry to bother you, sir, but I'm the manager, and we've had some silly complaints about your shir OH MY GOSH, IT'S *TRUE*! LOOK AWAY, EVERYONE! SAVE YOURSELVES!! The flounder looks good.

11 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

What am embarrassing date. Imagine that. The restaurant confiscated my shirt. I bet that thing wouldn't even burn. And this clip-on tie is killing me. He's such a slave to fashion.

12 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

* RIIIING BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!! * RIIIING * RIIIING BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK You're supposed to pick it up and ANSWER it, stupid! * RIIING BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

13 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz wants to take me clothes shopping. The woman is a saint. She calls me a "fashoin emergency" She's too kind. Isn't that cute? I've heard your hangers weep.

14 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Burp BURP! That's right, kids. Always warm up.

15 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Nice fake smile. Why, thank you! Oops. I smiled for real.

16 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Did you do this? Sure did. That's terrible! It'll look better once we frame it.

17 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon is cooking dinner. Relax, it's for Liz.

18 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I HAD planned to have some of that lasagna tonight. BUT NO! YOU ATE THE ENTIRE THING! You are so selfish! Okaaay, you may smell my breath.

19 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, you brewed a new pot! sip Want some? Nah. Too weak for me.

20 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I saw a new coffee shop in town today. And I saw three flies on the ceiling. It looked very hip. Jon no hip, kemo sabe. Jon no go there. It's called "Xan's Cafe Caffeine". I'll start the car!

21 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Thank you for coosing "Xan's Cafe Caffeine." I'm Xan, and I'll be your barista. Prepare yourself for a relaxing and spiritual awakening for the body and mind. How may I help you? Um...two coffees, please. This is a joke, right.

22 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Geez, I didn't know coffee had so many different names now! That counter guy looked at me like I was a total idiot... Like that! Just like that!

23 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Sohowdoyou likeespresso?! Notbad, I reallythink Icouldlearn toloveit!

24 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

This is great! We should go out to coffee bars more often! Yeah... We don't do nearly enough of this at home.

25 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

This is a really nice place. I'm glad we came here. Have you finished your coffe? Are you kidding me? For six bucks a cup, I'm eating the CHAIR.

26 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

-

27 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Help! I'm stuck in the bathtub! Let the air out of your inner tube ducky, you dork! I'm pruning up!!

28 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You lie around too much, Garfield. What you need is exercise. You can't mess with the laws of nature, baby.

29 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, nature! Heeey...wait a minute! What's it doing in the living room?! I broke a window.

30 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sorry I shredded your slacks. Very sorry. Those are some ugly legs!

31 May 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish someone would invite me to a costume party. NO! REALLY?!

1 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You fell asleep in Mrs. Feeny's flowers again, did you? Okay, who told?

2 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! I was READING that! Oh...sorry. -

3 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You've gained weight, Garfield. Jon's right. I gotta start eating leaner canaries.

4 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You are fat. BURP How about now?

5 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Fat, fat, fat! FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT! Two of those "fats" were out of line, fella!

6 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Being fat isn't so bad. There's just more of me to go around... ...and around, and around, and...

7 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I had a fun date last night. That's nice. She talked on and on about you. She's a sweet lady. And how you need to go on a diet. ...who should have her head shaved.

8 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF DOG BEWARE of DOG BEWARE OF CAT ON DIET

9 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, I'll talk to you soon... Bye, Liz...yeah...me, too... You want me to WHAT?! Liz, I can't kiss the phone...my cat is watching. Yeah, I know that sounds weird. Just trust me on this. One time for the camera phone, come on!

10 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz thinks you should go on a diet. And she says it's not just a weight issue...it's a health issue. So is STARVING!

11 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

What's with that weird look? Are you obsessing about food again? No... I just never realized how much your head looks like a turkey leg. You're creeping me out.

12 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm so hungry... I'm hallucinating... That ain't right.

13 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, cat...how's it going? I'm starving! Sorry to hear that. Diet's starting to get to you, huh? EAT ME

14 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon told me this diet has been pretty hard on you. I just wanted to stop by and offer my moral support. Where's my purse? I ate it.

15 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow! ...I guess all that hard work paid off! This is the best you've EVER done on a diet! Thank you. Only gained a pound!

16 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

SNORE SNORE SNOOORE SNOOOOOORE SNOOOR My mouth tastes like a dirty pair of rolled-up socks this morning. Imagine that.

17 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield... You're the best cat in the whole world! Why, thank you, Jon. That had better not be my birthday present!

18 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, you guys! ...how did you know? I just got the best birthday present of all! I'M OFF MY DIET!! 29

19 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

What's in your mouth? Okay, what's NOT in your mouth? Raisins.

20 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

This bed is FULL of cookie crumbs! Is that a pillowcase full of milk? It is.

21 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Nice work if you can get it. Sorry, not hiring.

22 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I need someone to tell my troubles to. And you ain't it. Works every time.

23 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

buzzzzzzzz BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK !!! RRRRRRR buzzzzzzzz Who are you calling? Your dumb dog.

24 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a lot of pent-up energy... ...in a box around here somewhere.

25 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I think this is it, Garfield... I think love finally found me! Love didn't find you. It's just too winded to run anymore.

26 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Man, do I LOVE lazy summer days. And lazy autumn days, and lazy winter days, and lazy spring days... Heck, I just love lazy.

27 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

So, Garfield, what do you think of Liz? Is she a KEEPER? Well, she's funnier, better looking, and a better cook than you... She's a keeper. You on the other hand...

28 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I feel down. Let's take a moment to think happy thoughts! Did you say happy or stupid?

29 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I need guidance. You're lazy. I need guidance on where to get a long stick so I can hit Jon without getting up.

30 June 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

sigh... Pooky, you're my best friend. You're always there for me. You give me hugs when I need them. And you never tell me to go on a diet. I can't imagine a day without you! Now, more over, you're hogging the bed.

1 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF KARAOKE DOG * FEEEE-LINGS That sign's not big enough.

2 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF SUCK-UP DOG Aren't they all?

3 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF DOG HELP WANTED INQUIRE WITHIN

4 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Your Face Licked 5c Your Face NOT Licked $5.00

5 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF PUPPY

6 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF FARSIGHTED DOG -

7 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

* * BURP May I have your order?

8 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow... I can hear my stomach roaring.

9 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, I'd like to request a song. It's called "Polka in my Veins, Sauerkraut in my Lederhosen". I thought morning deejays were supposed to be zany. I'm sure he meant "you sick freak" in the zaniest possible way.

10 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Pooky, now that Liz is around, Jon hardly even notices me... At least WE'LL never let a woman come betwee Rats.

11 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hard day. Whew. My taste buds are exhausted!

12 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Finally, some time to be alone... ...I said ALONE. Can't you take a hint, lady? poke

13 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm back! Did you miss me? Yes, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

14 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

GET OFF MY NEWSPAPER!! You know, all you had to do was ask. There's no need to loose your temper. -

15 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sending Liz an E-Mail...anything you'd like to add? tic tic :( Okay, you're jealous, aren't you?

16 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, I think Garfield's jealous of you. You're talking to THAT woman again, aren't you? Liz, I know Garfield's jealous of you.

17 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, Garfield's still jealous of you, and it's become WORSE... He won't eat a thing! I'll be right over.

18 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz! I came over to speak to a lealous cat. Hello, Garfield. Oh... It's you.

19 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, we need to talk about your jealousy issue... Wht can I say to make you feel better? "I brought kitty treats" would be a good start.

20 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, just because Jon and I care for each other... -doesn't mean we don't care about YOU... You AND Odie. Scram, this is my jealous tantrum.

21 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, do you like Liz? I mean, Jon really seems to like her a LOT...do you like her a lot? And do you like boiled pig snouts with cabbage in mystery gravy?

22 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't want you to be jealous og me, Garfield. Don't you think it's possible for you and me to share Jon? Well...okay. You take the half that kisses, and I'll take the half that feeds.

23 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield and I talked, Jon. We're friends now! I KNEW you two would work it out! We should celebrate! Let's order pizza! GROUP HUG!!!

24 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Aw, COME ON, now!! Herewegoherewego herewegoherewego... OH, FOR THE LOVE OF Putting practice.

25 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm locked out of the house again. In my cowboy jammies. And there's a TV news crew setting up on the lawn. Must be a slooooow news day.

26 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Great! My back went out! I can't move at all! Really? That last pudding cup is MINE, mister!!

27 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh. I've forgotten what I'm on hold for. We refer to this as a "senior moment".

28 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Get out of my pool! -

29 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

ah-AH-AH AH CHOO Gesundheit.

30 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

My life is empty. *BAT* Oh, that's your answer to everything, is it?

31 July 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK! Fore! -

1 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Well? Well, what? You don't notice anything different about me? Give me a hint. WAAH! Oh, great. A ball of yarn having an identity crisis.

2 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's do something. bat That was fun. Now let's do something *I* want to do.

3 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

bat Whee! What have you been doing? Nothing! I swear!

4 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK snatch HA-HAA! lick lick lick lick

5 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Monday... SPLAT! Class dismissed.

6 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Dog News Whoa... You guys will sniff pretty much anything, won't you?

7 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I guess I'll just have to face facts... I may never reach my full potential. And just WHY is that funny?

8 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

How do you do? Very well, thank you. Polite AND tasty.

9 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm afraid there's been no word from the governor, Rocky...looks like this is it. What do you want for your last meal? Gimme a cheeseburger. And would you like that (hee hee) for here or to (snort) go? Rocky's not smiling.

10 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... I hope this isn't one of those moments we'll always remember.

11 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll change again and go for another dip in our kiddie pool. YEEE!!! WOOOOOO WOO WOO WOO WOO HEE_HOO HEE-HOO HEE-HOO YAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA You've gotta love the "cold, wet swim trunks dance". YEE! YEE! HOOOOO HAAAH!! HUBERT,CALL A COP!!

12 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

A simple roll of duct tape can be used to remove unwanted cat hair. ...from clothing and furniture. And what's with THAT look?

13 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

All right, hand it over. What duct tape?

14 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Friday night? ...your treat? ...that sounds great! Wow! LIZ asked ME out on a date! Is that allowed? Better check the rule book.

15 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I want to smell good for my date with Liz... "Midnight Mama's Boy". Which cologne should I use? "Polyester Passion". How about "Eau de Slide Rule"? Why don't you just roll in something with Odie?

16 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Liz! So what's the plan? I thought we'd go for some italian food... And then visit the aquarium. This is MY date, Garfield. You get your own girl.

17 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

How's your pasta, Liz? Delicious. How's yours? I have no idea.

18 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, we haven't even ordered yet... Don't fill up on bread! What?! Garfield? Fill up? Good point. Keep 'em coming!

19 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Three tickets for the aquarium, please. I'm sorry, ma'am... But you'll have to leave that outside. Hand over the harpoon, Garfield. Party pooper.

20 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't see the fish. This is a very rare species. They can be pretty shy. It's probably hiding.

21 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sorry about your date tonight, Liz. It was different. I've never seen a restaurant run out of food before. That happens to us all the time. And I've never been thrown out of an aquarium. That too.

22 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't feel bad about the date Jon...I had a great time. So did I. BURP And so did Garfield. Kiss her, stupid, before the moment passes.

23 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I can't get out of this hammock! -and I'm LOVING it! Atta boy.

24 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

HAAAACK You're gonna need some traffic cones for that one.

25 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm... What kind of dog ARE you anyway, Odie? Bulldog?... Pointer?... Sheep doog?... Basset houn. Ah, here you are...purebred clown. * honk honk

26 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I finally found a way to keep cool, Garfield. I put a frozen chicken down my pants! It won't thaw for hours! I won't be here when it does.

27 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't stand this hot weather anymore! Garfield, are you sitting in the ice cream again? It's okay! It's just the rum raisin!

28 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

It's so hot. Ice cube shirt! Could Jon be getting smarter?

29 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Fishing isn't that hard. Just rear back and flick it. Then scream till help comes.

30 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

LIFEGUARD!!! I'M STANDING IN SEAWEED!! Let's go home now. I hear that stuff's good for your complexion.

31 August 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I love a deserted beach, Garfield. No crowds... No hassles. No one to make him eat sand.

1 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

XAN'S Cafe Caffeine You know, this coffee bar is a nice place. Very cosmopolitan...a really hip clientele... And these cafe lattes are pretty darn good. SLURP I don't know why we don't go out more often. I do.

2 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I've gotta admit... That moosehead towel rack looks GREAT in the bathroom. Really goes well with the snakeskin shower curtain. We're BACHELORS, baby.

3 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Awwwww... Iz da widdle kitty hungwee? Reckon so.

4 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Moring. Morning. I think the toaster has a short. So now all of a sudden you're an electrician?

5 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at those cute squirrels in the driveway. I wonder what they're doing? Looks like they're hocking your hubcaps for pistachios. HEY!

6 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, the meat counter was practically sold out! I was lucky to get anything at all. So how do you like your yak rump? There ain't enough ketchup in the world.

7 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Check it out... New oven mitts! I'm gonna go broil something! Nothing good can possibly come of this.

8 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

bip bip beep boop Hi, Liz, wanna catch a movie? "Martian Body Count" opened this week! It's the prequel to "Doctor Decimator Atomizes Mars". See, they're all part of a trilogy...the first one was "MArs Rising: Birth of the Dismemb

9 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Come down here and I'll swat you. Come up here, bozo! You're on! What are you doing? Don't ask.

10 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

clomp clomp clomp clomp Oh, no! CLOMP! CLOMP! AAAHHH! And you just HAD to buy him boots for his birthday. What was I thinking?

11 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you doing anything right now? SWAT Oh, just swatting spiders. I'll come back later when you're not so busy.

12 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

It's creepy around here. It's the spiders. SMACK! If I were alive, I would take offense at that.

13 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

* RIIING It's for you. I TOLD you never to call me here!

14 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! he heh he I just saw a spider in a hard hat. And I'm gonna need a bigger newspaper.

15 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

click -

16 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm taking Liz to the ballet. She really wants to go. I'm in deep, aren't I? Right up to the gills, arabesque boy.

17 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

So long, boys...be good tonight. Have a nice taime at the ballet! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! -

18 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield was teasing me about going to the ballet. Why? I think only a REAL man would be comforatble enought to bring me here. GO, SWANS!

19 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

How was *I* to know the ballet was so stuffy?! And what's WRONG with a little audience participation, anyway?! Only Jon would take a dick call to "Swan Lake". Stupid usher!

20 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, I KNOW it's almost dinnertime! And bring my watch back!

21 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Aloha! I thought I'd go with a luau theme tonight. Although the grass skirt is kind of itchy. What you can't see can't yourt you.

22 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! That squirrel is stealing seeds from our bird feeder again! SLAM! SHOO! SHO, YOU STUPID SQUIRREL! SLAM! Hey! Where's my hamburger?

23 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's my pig and me at the county fair. And here's my date and me at the junior prom. Whoa! So the pig turned you down?

24 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's Doc Boy and me back on the farm. We were very close. You know how brothers are. Yeah, but sharing a pair of overalls?

25 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

My uncle Roy was very wise. One day he took me aside and said, "Son..." "Don't put your head under the tractor". If only Jon had listened.

26 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Ready for my family reunion, Garfield? Just ignore my uncle Bill. He'll want you to wear his teeth. Shoot me.

27 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

A smile is like sunshine... Just like my uncle Leo. A ray of joy... He always had a smile. To share with the world. Till that little incident with the denture weevils.

28 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

There's Mr. Greiwe, washing his car... There's old Man Barnard, cleaning his gutters... And there's Mrs. Feeny, stringing barbed wire around her yard. I tihnk the woman secretly loves me.

29 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Z -

30 September 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Z

1 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield's daydreaming. SNORE Like a log.

2 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF DOG Odie, the sign refers to you. Grr

3 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Syrup? Make me pancakes or I'll hose you.

4 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Cookies CAT HAIR IN THE COOKIE JAR! ...cookies in the cat!

5 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Cookie BURP GARFIELD! Nobody here but us crumbs.

6 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

That was good. Let's see what your fortune cookie says... crack "You are kind loving, creative, and origina. Good things are being said about you..." "...sunshine, happiness, great success, and true love all await you in the nearfuture...&q

7 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Liz. Nice legs. If you're a piano.

8 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

A new bakery just opened near my house. I think Garfield is noticing. You smell like cinnamon rolls, my dear.

9 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I really like Jon. Ah, I see... How many fingers am I holding up? Do you get a lot of headaches?

10 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You know what's fun? What? Chewing bubble gum! Is that more fun than kissing? Who said that?!

11 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, is my tie on straight? It leans a little right. How about now?

12 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Polly wants a cracker. Here you go, Polly.

13 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do cats climb trees? Is it instinct? Because we enjoy the view? For the exercise? TUNA ^ Or is it because we're gullible?

14 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

* RIIING For a free lifetine supply of lasagna, press one. Who is it? Nuts. It IS a dream.

15 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK Tah-daaaaahh!

16 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

The weather is starting to turn cooler. You know what that means. You're going to notice that window I broke?

17 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

We need to do something exciting. Right. On three... one...two...three. -

18 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie has written a novel! psss psss psss Excuse me. Odie has EATEN a novel.

19 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

AWRK! THUD! I think my back went out. Make that face again.

20 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

FWAP Missed one.

21 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Dave...what a creepy old house. Wow, Ann, you're right. It looks like it might be haunted by a homicidal psychopath... Well, let's go in! O.K.! Ann and Dave, we hardly knew ye.

22 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

The storm appears to have washed out the road...you'll have to stay the night. My manservant, Troglo, will show you your tombs. Um,I mean, rooms. I wouldn't eat the mints on the pillows!

23 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

So nice of you to join me for the dinner, my dear. Why, thank you for having me, Mr. Count. Not at all. Please pass your neck. Beg pardon? The plot thickens...

24 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hold very still, Bernice! Maybe the monster won't see you! Okay, Trevor. Trevor? ...TREVOR?! EEEEK! GULP! Trevor's halfway to Hong Kong by now, Bernice.

25 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I am a haunted hamburger! Oh, no! I ordered french fries with my haunted hamburger!

26 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Throw the switch, Igor! ...give my monster life!! ZZT Hello. Have you really given careful thought to your long-term insurance needs? I have a policy here that I think you'd love. SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF! I can't look.

27 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I love this movie. Me too. This part always makes me cry... Awww...girls are so sensitive. I'm sorry. I can't help it...it's *sniff* so sad... There, there...let it out. Um, will you excude me for a minute? * HONK honk honk honkhonnnnk sniff...sniff...sn

28 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I...I think that monster just ate Phyllis. Are you sure? BURRRRP Yup, I'd recognize that perfumen anywhere. Eau de Entree.

29 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

The sun is coming up... I watched monster movies all night! Morning. YAAAHHH

30 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Shall we toast marshmallows and tell ghost stories? I ate all the marshmallows. And there's no such things as ghosts. Hey! Who ate all the marshmallows?

31 October 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is very loyal. And I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

1 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Garfield, the laundry is done! Every article of clothing ironed, folded, and put away. Sigh... His life is over.

2 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Why so gloomy, Jon? The world is full of wonderful things! Like my tuna breath! And nice comfortable floors!

3 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

bip bip boop boop bip We'd like an extra-large pizza with extra-thick crust... Extra sauce, extra cheese, extra pepperoni... Extra olives, extra onions, extra green peppers, extra hot peppers... Extra sausage, extra ground beef, extraanchovies, and more e

4 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Nobody tells me what to do! thump thump And I wish they wouls! I have no idea what I'm doing! That's okay, Jon. Nobody does.

5 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Is it any wonder why there's no room in his head for a brain?

6 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm cutting down on donuts. We're out of donuts. I am painfully aware of that.

7 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Cricket in the house! Crick Z I'll give you a dollar to jump into Jon's mouth. Z

8 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! On a scale of one to ten, I give it a seven? Oh, come on! I've seen you more crazed, and you didn't do that bloodshot-eyeballs thing.

9 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN Momma would be proud to know she raised a trivet.

10 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, this is where it all happens, Mikey! And this is my colleague, Mr. Cat! Is he the one you call "fatso", dad? Yeah, well...uh...that's just a little joke between us... So, ready to see your man in action?! Yeah! BAT BAT Okay,what's with th

11 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of the Dog You're not a dog. Yes, I am. Like bow wow. You're not a dog. Okay! So the dog took a personal day. I'm a temp. You're a snake. Dude! I have a wife and 35 kids to support!

12 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Instead of barking at you... I would like to do an interpretive dance... Demonstrating my feelings toward our relationship. That explains the pekingese with the piccolo.

13 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Check this out... BARK Pretty cool, huh? Well, if you think loud noises are "cool".

14 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to hear some barking? What else you got? I can woof! Let's go with that, and can you do a time step? Woof, woof, woof, woof! My kingdom for a video camera.

15 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Will Grovel for Table Scraps I'm just doing this until I sell my screenplay. Riiight.

16 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You poor dog. How can you stand being chained up all day? People wait on me hand and foot, I get three big meals a day, and allI do is sleep. Woof

17 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Ready, Odie? Urf Okay...1-2-3-go! -

18 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Everybody likes me! He must not have received the memo.

19 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I thought you were taking Odie for a walk. I am. I have a three-mile leash.

20 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll order a burger. How about yo GARFIELD! Get over here! You're steaming up the windoes in the pie case! My place...midnight...I'll bring the ice cream.

21 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Whipped cream! PSSSSHHHHHH Make a pie!

22 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, it's the fourth friday in november, and you know what that is! What? Wait right there! Candy Cane Karaoke Night! And for this I wore heels.

23 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Here I sit. Instead of sitting there. Life holds too many choices!

24 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

NONE of there will work for our Christmas card! I know. You're not smiling in any of them.

25 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

This is my new air freshener. pssssst It smells like Christmas cookie baking. I think I'm getting the hint here. Isn't he the clever one?

26 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

It's the greatest time of year! When Jon gives me presents... Instead of me just taking his stuff.

27 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

So what do YOU want for Christmas? zwip Most people circle things in catalogs. Garfield tabs things in cookbooks.

28 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You have to behave around Christmas. Santa might be watching. Or one of his spies.

29 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Fa-la-la-fa-la! PLOOEY! I fa'd when I should have ls'd.

30 November 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a Christmas card from Mrs. Feeny. With a little hand-lettered restraining order inside. Nice calligraphy.

1 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Christmas List 1. for Garfield: floss.

2 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

-

3 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, it took all day... But I finally got that tree to stand up straight! Nailing it to the wall doesn't count!

4 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

SLURP -

5 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I visited spider Claus at the mall today! I wonder which knee he sat on.

6 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

-

7 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

eeeeeeeeeyaaaaaahhhhhhhh

8 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

-

9 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to the mall to find a Christmas present for Liz. Want to come? Sure. Remember, no elf slapping. If you wear green tights, you take your chances!

10 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Mall Map Okay, we're on the first floor, right next to the smoothie stand... And the jewelry store is on the second floor... And the escalator is right over there. Here's your wallet back.

11 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm looking for a gift for my girlfriend. How about perfume? I'm sure she'd love this one... It smells like an acre of wet dogs. It's the one I'M wearing. And I LOVE the smell of wet dogs! Quit now, while you're behind.

12 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

GET DOWN HERE! I can see your bald spot!

13 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

We've looked all over this mall, and I STILL haven't found Liz a present! Are you enjoying the food court? I want to live here forever!

14 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Mall Parking Do you remember where we parked the car? No. Maybe we should look for it. YOU THINK?!

15 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

click BUY THESE! TAKE THEM HOME AND STUFF 'EM IN YOUR MOUTH!! CHEW THEM! SWALLOW THEM!! So BUY THEM! And EAT them! EAT them!! EAT THEM!!! Oh, PULEEEEZE BUY THEM!!! Ed's International House of Fruitcakes.

16 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Santa's Wonderland." The line forms right over ther EEEEEK! I assume that elf has met you before. Briefly.

17 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy holidays, son. Things are fine here on the farm... Doc Boy got kicked in the head by a cow last week, but we were lucky... Bessie's hoof is healing nicely. Will those cows ever learn?

18 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz's Christmas card arrived! Let's see! It's personal. Personal?! I'M the one whose temerature she takes!

19 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I got a Christmas card from Dog Boy! "Merry Christmas, you late-chuggin', tofu-huggin', cable TV-watchin', indoor-plumbin', touchy-feely, sissified-crybaby city boy". I miss him. Me too...just like I miss tail mange.

20 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

So you'll come? ...great! Liz is spending Christmas day with us! Liz AND her holiday fudge?! You're drooling. Tears of joy, drool of joy-same thing, different duct.

21 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

I bought your present today. ANd it's well hidden... So just forget about finding it, pal!

22 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you doing, Garfield? I'm practicing my you-got-me-THAT-for-Christmas?! face.

23 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You two had better get to bed. OH; no...this year we catch Santa in the ACT! Z Z I love tradition.

24 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, Jon...a charm bracelt! How darling! See? There's a little cat charm and a little dog charm... Where's yours? That's the rose. They were fresh out of dork charms.

25 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Christmas is over.

26 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I are going out for new year's, so I got you two another pet sitter. She's not to be harmed. Such a naive little man.

27 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

You must be the pet sitter! I am Greta. You look like you work out. I do. A lot. Pleased to meet you. Dibs on under the couch.

28 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

...and there's my cell phone number. I will commit it tom memory. Call me if there's any problem... I do not anticipate any breaches in discipline. And, uh, there's onion dip in the fridge. Order must and shall be maintained at any and all costs. We are t

29 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

** I'm glad you and I could spend new year's eve together, Liz. Me too, Jon...this is wonderful. No, it's more than wonderful...with you here, it's perfect. beedle beedle beedle Should I wanswer that? Answer what? beedle beedle beedle beedle beedle beedle

30 December 2007
 
 
   
Garfield

FIVE...FOUR...THREE...TWO...ONE... HAPPY NEW YEAR!! You want a new year's kiss? That's animal abuse, lady.

31 December 2007
 




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