Hey... - Where's my ball of yarn? - You mean dad?
1 February 2007
- I never get a call on my cell phone. - Possibly because it's an electric razor.
2 February 2007
Cats live on instinct. - - And my instinct could go for some of those extra-spicy chicken wings.
3 February 2007
- - yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - AAAAAAAAAAAAA - AAAAAAAAAAAAA - AAAAAAAAA - I think I'll make a snowman instead. AAHhhhhhhh
4 February 2007
Goode evening, ladies and germs! WHISH! - I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing! ZIP! - Any requests? Get taller!
5 February 2007
I shall now attempt to read the mind of someone in the audience! - KONG! - Please, no clues.
6 February 2007
zip zip zip zip - KONK ZIP - Ketchup?! We ran out of tomatoes.
7 February 2007
BONK! - beedle beedle beedle - U STINK
8 February 2007
Now for some impressions! - Any requests? - Cat falling off a fence! Yeah! And splattering himself all over the place! I hate audience participation.
9 February 2007
You've been a great audience tonight! There's nobody here but me. - Oh. - But you're great! I'm the janitor, you dork!
10 February 2007
- FLOWERS - - - -
11 February 2007
Everything is mine, mine, mine! - Correction. - If we had anything, it would be mine, mine, mine!
12 February 2007
YAWN - YAWN - I'm a trendsetter!
13 February 2007
- (ahem)... "Purr". - How nice! I don't write 'em. I just read 'em.
14 February 2007
Snow! - It's a blizzard! - I'm flattered.
15 February 2007
No two snowflakes are exactly alike. - Wow... - Jon had a busy winter.
16 February 2007
Thanks for the coffee, cup. No problem...and call me Joe. - You know, Joe, as far as nightmares go, this one could have been a whole lot worse. How? - It could have been decaffeinated. Now you're scaring ME, man.
17 February 2007
RUNK-itta - RUNK-itta... RUNK-itta... RUNK-itta... - brap brap brap BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - AAAAAAAAA KRONK! DONKITTY KRONKITTY KRONKA KRONKA KRONKA - What's all that racket? PTOO! - - Old man Griewe just took out another lawn gnome with his
18 February 2007
I'm not a morning person. - - Lucky morning.
19 February 2007
"Dear Garfield, how can you stand on that fence without falling off?" - Simple. - Things aren't always as they seem.
20 February 2007
The songbird didn't sho up at the feeder this morning. - * - *
21 February 2007
- BAT - That's my boy!
22 February 2007
I'm hungry. - - Though not as hungry as Jon. That was mine!
23 February 2007
Meow - ** MEOW MEYOWWRR MEEYOW * - Would you believe I haven't had any formal training?
24 February 2007
- - - - - - You're spoiled, you know. I am not, an where's my mint?
25 February 2007
click click click click Quality, quality, quality, quality. - click click click click Quality, quality, dreck, quality. - click click Whoa! Back up there!
26 February 2007
And what is your special talent, sir? I juggle chain saws to polka music. - Fascinating...why chai saws? - They're the only thing that'll drown polka music out. I like him.
27 February 2007
Tonight, it's "Alaskan Grizzly Mating Calls with Larry". - Followed by "Yukon Emergency Room". - With Larry. "With Larry".
28 February 2007