Only one person in this room could have murdered Mr. Thompson, and that person IS... - Oh...a question. Yes, you with the pickax? - Um...may I be excused? And to think I could have been watching Jon's socks tumble dry.
1 March 2007
Nothing whatsoever happened in the world today. - Everybody was watching television. - Details at eleven. ...on the All-Irony Channel.
2 March 2007
...and the cat ate, and ate, and ate... - and ate, and ate... - Until there was nothing left to eat. I hate sad endings.
3 March 2007
BURP - - - plop - Kitty Treats
4 March 2007
- Happy monday. -
5 March 2007
Vegetarian aliens from outer space! - This should be interesting. - Take me to your broccoli. With pleasure!
6 March 2007
Liz thinks I'm handsome. - - And what does her guide dog think?
7 March 2007
Z - Z Z - Hey! Five more minutes...
8 March 2007
Why don't cats play fetch? sniff Cough. - BURP - We have too much dignity. scratch scratch
9 March 2007
Fetch the tree, Odie. - - Not THAT tree!
10 March 2007
Z - Z - Z Z - Z Z - Garfield, look! Odie's sleepwalking! Z - Z Garfield? -
11 March 2007
Hello. How's it going? - Not bad. SMACK - Yourself? I've been better.
12 March 2007
Spiders are disgusting! We are? - SMACK - Yes. Well, NOW, yeah!
13 March 2007
Don't swat me! - SMACK - Wait. Did you say, "don't"? THAT'S A RATHER MOOT POINT AT THIS JUNCTURE, DON'T YOU THINK?!
14 March 2007
I wish I were thinner. - WHAP! - I should write a diet book! I said, "thinner," not "flatter"!
15 March 2007
I'm cold. - A nice hot cup of coffee should warm you up! WHAM - Boy howdy, he wasn't kidding.
16 March 2007
What happened to my uncle Dave? - He got hit by a train. A TRAIN?! - Train...train schedule, whatever. SMACK!
17 March 2007
- - - - FWAP! - - DWONK!
18 March 2007
Here, Garfield. I brought you a cat treat. - Gee, thanks. - Was the store out of hams?
19 March 2007
I could use a hug. You got it! - Odie! snap - Uh, thanks, Garfield. Feel the love.
20 March 2007
I'd like a bouquet of roses. - stomp! stomp! stomp! - And to pay for the daisies in your window display. That was invigorating!
21 March 2007
Breakfast, lunch and dinner are three SEPARATE meals. - They are NOT intended to run together. - Do you just make this stuff up to depress me?
22 March 2007
I'm Maynard, from the temporary cat services. - I'll be filling in for Garfield while he takes a little personal time. - I was told there would be food. Go away.
23 March 2007
I'm not having fun. You're not? - SLAP OW! - That wasn't fun! Then I'm out of ideas.
24 March 2007
- - - - - - Do let me know when you've hit bottom. I could use a lantern down here!
25 March 2007
Liz and I are going out again... - And this time I've hired a pet sitter. - I think they took that well.
26 March 2007
Okay, boys, the pet sitter is here...meet Lillian! - Well, hel-* LOOOOO! - My, you must be one of those HAIRless kitties! She could burn ants with those lenses.
27 March 2007
Now don't you worry about a thing, Mr. Lardmuckle. We'll be just fine. - If you get worried, just give me a call. Thanks...I might. - I'll have the phone beside me all night. You are so gonna pay for this.
28 March 2007
I bet ol' Miss Lillian knows what you two darlings want...homemade cookies! - They'll be done in no time! - ...hot and fresh out of the dishwasher. THUD Whoopsie!
29 March 2007
Oh, HELLO, Mr. Turnbuckle...yes, we're doing fiiiine. - They're behaving just like two little ANGELS. pat pat pat - Well? I must have dialed a wrong number.
30 March 2007
I guess the pet sitter worked out fine, huh? - - OK, maybe not.
31 March 2007