Only one person in this room could have murdered Mr. Thompson, and that person IS... Oh...a question. Yes, you with the pickax? Um...may I be excused? And to think I could have been watching Jon's socks tumble dry.
1 March 2007
Nothing whatsoever happened in the world today. Everybody was watching television. Details at eleven. ...on the All-Irony Channel.
2 March 2007
...and the cat ate, and ate, and ate... and ate, and ate... Until there was nothing left to eat. I hate sad endings.
3 March 2007
BURP plop Kitty Treats
4 March 2007
Happy monday. -
5 March 2007
Vegetarian aliens from outer space! This should be interesting. Take me to your broccoli. With pleasure!
6 March 2007
Liz thinks I'm handsome. And what does her guide dog think?
7 March 2007
Z Z Z Hey! Five more minutes...
8 March 2007
Why don't cats play fetch? sniff Cough. BURP We have too much dignity. scratch scratch
9 March 2007
Fetch the tree, Odie. Not THAT tree!
10 March 2007
Z Z Z Z Z Z Garfield, look! Odie's sleepwalking! Z Z Garfield? -
11 March 2007
Hello. How's it going? Not bad. SMACK Yourself? I've been better.
12 March 2007
Spiders are disgusting! We are? SMACK Yes. Well, NOW, yeah!
13 March 2007
Don't swat me! SMACK Wait. Did you say, "don't"? THAT'S A RATHER MOOT POINT AT THIS JUNCTURE, DON'T YOU THINK?!
14 March 2007
I wish I were thinner. WHAP! I should write a diet book! I said, "thinner," not "flatter"!
15 March 2007
I'm cold. A nice hot cup of coffee should warm you up! WHAM Boy howdy, he wasn't kidding.
16 March 2007
What happened to my uncle Dave? He got hit by a train. A TRAIN?! Train...train schedule, whatever. SMACK!
17 March 2007
18 March 2007
Here, Garfield. I brought you a cat treat. Gee, thanks. Was the store out of hams?
19 March 2007
I could use a hug. You got it! Odie! snap Uh, thanks, Garfield. Feel the love.
20 March 2007
I'd like a bouquet of roses. stomp! stomp! stomp! And to pay for the daisies in your window display. That was invigorating!
21 March 2007
Breakfast, lunch and dinner are three SEPARATE meals. They are NOT intended to run together. Do you just make this stuff up to depress me?
22 March 2007
I'm Maynard, from the temporary cat services. I'll be filling in for Garfield while he takes a little personal time. I was told there would be food. Go away.
23 March 2007
I'm not having fun. You're not? SLAP OW! That wasn't fun! Then I'm out of ideas.
24 March 2007
Do let me know when you've hit bottom. I could use a lantern down here!
25 March 2007
Liz and I are going out again... And this time I've hired a pet sitter. I think they took that well.
26 March 2007
Okay, boys, the pet sitter is here...meet Lillian! Well, hel-* LOOOOO! My, you must be one of those HAIRless kitties! She could burn ants with those lenses.
27 March 2007
Now don't you worry about a thing, Mr. Lardmuckle. We'll be just fine. If you get worried, just give me a call. Thanks...I might. I'll have the phone beside me all night. You are so gonna pay for this.
28 March 2007
I bet ol' Miss Lillian knows what you two darlings want...homemade cookies! They'll be done in no time! ...hot and fresh out of the dishwasher. THUD Whoopsie!
29 March 2007
Oh, HELLO, Mr. Turnbuckle...yes, we're doing fiiiine. They're behaving just like two little ANGELS. pat pat pat Well? I must have dialed a wrong number.
30 March 2007
I guess the pet sitter worked out fine, huh? OK, maybe not.
31 March 2007