I wish someone would invite me to a costume party. NO! REALLY?!
1 June 2007
You fell asleep in Mrs. Feeny's flowers again, did you? Okay, who told?
2 June 2007
Hey! I was READING that! Oh...sorry. -
3 June 2007
You've gained weight, Garfield. Jon's right. I gotta start eating leaner canaries.
4 June 2007
You are fat. BURP How about now?
5 June 2007
Fat, fat, fat! FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT! Two of those "fats" were out of line, fella!
6 June 2007
Being fat isn't so bad. There's just more of me to go around... ...and around, and around, and...
7 June 2007
Liz and I had a fun date last night. That's nice. She talked on and on about you. She's a sweet lady. And how you need to go on a diet. ...who should have her head shaved.
8 June 2007
BEWARE OF DOG BEWARE of DOG BEWARE OF CAT ON DIET
9 June 2007
Okay, I'll talk to you soon... Bye, Liz...yeah...me, too... You want me to WHAT?! Liz, I can't kiss the phone...my cat is watching. Yeah, I know that sounds weird. Just trust me on this. One time for the camera phone, come on!
10 June 2007
Liz thinks you should go on a diet. And she says it's not just a weight issue...it's a health issue. So is STARVING!
11 June 2007
What's with that weird look? Are you obsessing about food again? No... I just never realized how much your head looks like a turkey leg. You're creeping me out.
12 June 2007
I'm so hungry... I'm hallucinating... That ain't right.
13 June 2007
Hey, cat...how's it going? I'm starving! Sorry to hear that. Diet's starting to get to you, huh? EAT ME
14 June 2007
Jon told me this diet has been pretty hard on you. I just wanted to stop by and offer my moral support. Where's my purse? I ate it.
15 June 2007
Wow! ...I guess all that hard work paid off! This is the best you've EVER done on a diet! Thank you. Only gained a pound!
16 June 2007
SNORE SNORE SNOOORE SNOOOOOORE SNOOOR My mouth tastes like a dirty pair of rolled-up socks this morning. Imagine that.
17 June 2007
You know, Garfield... You're the best cat in the whole world! Why, thank you, Jon. That had better not be my birthday present!
18 June 2007
Oh, you guys! ...how did you know? I just got the best birthday present of all! I'M OFF MY DIET!! 29
19 June 2007
What's in your mouth? Okay, what's NOT in your mouth? Raisins.
20 June 2007
This bed is FULL of cookie crumbs! Is that a pillowcase full of milk? It is.
21 June 2007
Nice work if you can get it. Sorry, not hiring.
22 June 2007
I need someone to tell my troubles to. And you ain't it. Works every time.
23 June 2007
buzzzzzzzz BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK !!! RRRRRRR buzzzzzzzz Who are you calling? Your dumb dog.
24 June 2007
I have a lot of pent-up energy... ...in a box around here somewhere.
25 June 2007
I think this is it, Garfield... I think love finally found me! Love didn't find you. It's just too winded to run anymore.
26 June 2007
Man, do I LOVE lazy summer days. And lazy autumn days, and lazy winter days, and lazy spring days... Heck, I just love lazy.
27 June 2007
So, Garfield, what do you think of Liz? Is she a KEEPER? Well, she's funnier, better looking, and a better cook than you... She's a keeper. You on the other hand...
28 June 2007
Garfield, I feel down. Let's take a moment to think happy thoughts! Did you say happy or stupid?
29 June 2007
I need guidance. You're lazy. I need guidance on where to get a long stick so I can hit Jon without getting up.
30 June 2007