- - I wish someone would invite me to a costume party. NO! REALLY?!
1 June 2007
- You fell asleep in Mrs. Feeny's flowers again, did you? - Okay, who told?
2 June 2007
- - - - Hey! I was READING that! - Oh...sorry. -
3 June 2007
You've gained weight, Garfield. - Jon's right. - I gotta start eating leaner canaries.
4 June 2007
You are fat. - BURP - How about now?
5 June 2007
Fat, fat, fat! - FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT! - Two of those "fats" were out of line, fella!
6 June 2007
Being fat isn't so bad. - There's just more of me to go around... - ...and around, and around, and...
7 June 2007
Liz and I had a fun date last night. That's nice. - She talked on and on about you. She's a sweet lady. - And how you need to go on a diet. ...who should have her head shaved.
8 June 2007
BEWARE OF DOG - BEWARE of DOG - BEWARE OF CAT ON DIET
9 June 2007
Okay, I'll talk to you soon... - Bye, Liz...yeah...me, too... - You want me to WHAT?! - - Liz, I can't kiss the phone...my cat is watching. - Yeah, I know that sounds weird. - Just trust me on this. One time for the camera phone, come on!
10 June 2007
Liz thinks you should go on a diet. - And she says it's not just a weight issue...it's a health issue. - So is STARVING!
11 June 2007
What's with that weird look? - Are you obsessing about food again? No... - I just never realized how much your head looks like a turkey leg. You're creeping me out.
12 June 2007
I'm so hungry... - I'm hallucinating... - That ain't right.
13 June 2007
Hey, cat...how's it going? I'm starving! - Sorry to hear that. - Diet's starting to get to you, huh? EAT ME
14 June 2007
Jon told me this diet has been pretty hard on you. - I just wanted to stop by and offer my moral support. - Where's my purse? I ate it.
15 June 2007
Wow! ...I guess all that hard work paid off! - This is the best you've EVER done on a diet! Thank you. - Only gained a pound!
16 June 2007
SNORE - SNORE - SNOOORE - SNOOOOOORE - SNOOOR- - - My mouth tastes like a dirty pair of rolled-up socks this morning. Imagine that.
17 June 2007
You know, Garfield... - You're the best cat in the whole world! Why, thank you, Jon. - That had better not be my birthday present!
18 June 2007
Oh, you guys! ...how did you know? - I just got the best birthday present of all! - I'M OFF MY DIET!! 29
19 June 2007
What's in your mouth? - - Okay, what's NOT in your mouth? Raisins.
20 June 2007
This bed is FULL of cookie crumbs! - - Is that a pillowcase full of milk? It is.
21 June 2007
Nice work if you can get it. - - Sorry, not hiring.
22 June 2007
I need someone to tell my troubles to. - And you ain't it. - Works every time.
23 June 2007
- buzzzzzzzz - BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK !!! - RRRRRRR - - buzzzzzzzz - Who are you calling? Your dumb dog.
24 June 2007
I have a lot of pent-up energy... - - ...in a box around here somewhere.
25 June 2007
I think this is it, Garfield... - I think love finally found me! Love didn't find you. - It's just too winded to run anymore.
26 June 2007
Man, do I LOVE lazy summer days. - And lazy autumn days, and lazy winter days, and lazy spring days... - Heck, I just love lazy.
27 June 2007
So, Garfield, what do you think of Liz? Is she a KEEPER? - Well, she's funnier, better looking, and a better cook than you... - She's a keeper. You on the other hand...
28 June 2007
Garfield, I feel down. - Let's take a moment to think happy thoughts! - Did you say happy or stupid?
29 June 2007
I need guidance. - You're lazy. - I need guidance on where to get a long stick so I can hit Jon without getting up.
30 June 2007