1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
   
Garfield

Okay, so maybe Greta didn't work out as a pet sitter...I'm sorry. How'd she bend the couch, anyway? Doing a clean and jerk with it.

1 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

That'll be pizza. I'll get it. ** DING-DONG Wait! I haven't paid you! MAIL IT! I assume this has something to do with you. Some people just can't handle customer appreciation.

2 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

THAT'S a stupid-looking snowman! No, it isn't... NOW it it.

3 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Still got the winter blahs, I see. I could play you a little song... -if I knew where you hid my accordion! You'r ejust trying to make me feel better.

4 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I've done things in my life that I regret, Garfield. And I've dome things that I regret... But mainly I've done things YOU regret.

5 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

crank MMMMMMMMMMMMM * kiss * kiss Is it wrong to love a furnace? I'd rather be warm than right.

6 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

According to this book, cats like to be ZIP Left alone.

7 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon is in deep thought. How come you can't taste your tongue? Relatively speaking.

8 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored. Are you bored? No, but keep talking...I'm getting there.

9 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored, Garfield. I hate these pregnant pauses... Maybe I'll buy a monkey! Bingo!

10 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Is this grape juice stain noticeable? Barely... From outer space!

11 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Ow! Did you do that?! Nope. You kicked me! If you didn't see it, it didn't happen.

12 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Culthbert...oh, Culthbert... Culthbert, there's something I must tell you... Yes, Philomena, my dear? I...I am in love with anoter...it's Thaddeus. Thaddeus Ramsbottom? Yes... Might I remind you, Mrs. Aphat, that your maiden name isScott. So? So, if you m

13 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Out of my way, fat boy! THUD Did you just walk into my mirror? I have no idea what you're talking about.

14 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You look fat. I look what? I LOOK fat? So this is some kind of optical illusion?

15 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, why are you so fat? I have a theory... I suspect my stomach is plotting to take over the world.

16 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, sir. So happy to see you. My, you are a stout young man. Actually, more of a big lard boy! I knew it wouldn't last.

17 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You farmers are the salt of the earth. Working sunup to sundown... Yessiree, that's a fine crop of chins you got there. You die.

18 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You're fat. I'm big boned! Well I say you're fat! AM NOT! AM NOT! He can dish it out, but he sure can't take it!

19 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

A-HEM Don't you boys have something ELSE you can do? People Kissing 5 c 4 Peek

20 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You need to lose weight. Correction... I SHOULD lose weight. I NEED cookies.

21 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Dieting is all in the mind, Garfield. Just try not to think about food. AND STOP LICKING ME!!

22 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

In other news... click * John... * Marsha... click Heeeey, kids! This diet's gotta go.

23 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like some fresh ground pepper on your lettuce leaf? GRIND GRIND GRIND GRIND -

24 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, I think Garfield is cheating on his diet. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. The refrigerator is missing. I'll never go hungry again!

25 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to see how much you lost, Garfield...hop on the scale. One sec. Uh... Just shut up and weigh, okay?

26 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

zzf zzf zzf zzf zzf zzf zzf zzf zzf zzf zzf zzf

27 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

It's cold in here. You left the door open! One subject at a time, list boy.

28 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You've been lying like that for hours... Don't you ever worry about pigeons? I laugh at danger.

29 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

The whole world is against me! I don't need any help, thank you.

30 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

This day is getting better. ...because I had the worst MORING of my life! Yeah, I usually don't get up that early.

31 January 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I've decided to change my attitude toward mornings, Garfield. My new motto is "mornings happen!" What do you think? How about "evil things happen to morning people"?

1 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I could tell you a thing or two about what's wrong with you. Or three or four, or five, or six, or seven, or eight... ...or nine, or ten, or... JUST GET ON WITH IT, OKAY?!

2 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK Marry her.

3 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

! digga digga digga

4 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You're my best friend in the whole world! SMACK! Have you noticed how cruel thw world is? I'm picking up on that...

5 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

To be, or not to be... SMACK! Not.

6 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Any last words? I know where there's fudge! He's good.

7 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm touching youuu...I'm not touching youuu... You're new here, aren't you?

8 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

FOOH -

9 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess what? Liz is coming over on Valentine's Day! She's renting a chick flick on the way over... I'll make hot cocoa, and we'll watch it here on the couch... And share a tub of ice cream and a box of tissues together. What areyou doing? Waving bye-bye to

10 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What would you like for Valentine's Day, Liz? REally? She'd like me. See, this is how those big nasty hairballs start.

11 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm looking through a veterinary supply catalog for a Valentine's Day gift for Liz. Hmmm... Think she'd appreciate an electric probe warmer? I know I would.

12 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I was going to make Liz a Valentine's Day card... But I can't cut out a paper heart to save my life! Maybe I could substitute another organ. "I love you with all my spleen".

13 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy Valentine's Day, Jon. Happy Valentine's Day, Liz. -

14 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What did you get your wife for Valentine's Day, Hank? A bouquet of dead gnats. Wow, that must have cost you plenty! Yeah, it did. It cost me an arm and a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a...

15 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

If you work hard, you can achieve success. And while you're doing that, I can raid your refrigerator!

16 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Greetings! I'm the big fat onion slice you ate on your hamburger last night... -and I'm conducting a customer opinion survey. Would you say my service was satisfactory? You gave me GAS. In the future, would you recommend me to a friend?To an enemy, maybe.

17 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Penny for your thoughts. Garfield, I was thinking...if our ears were in our armpits... Would we have to raise our arms to hear people talk? A dollar for not thinking.

18 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Did a lube job and oil change, and took her for a test spin. She's all set! We have the best-maintained can opener on the block.

19 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What's that smell? I have no idea. But if you'd like, I could ask my friend, Mr. Seven-Month-Old-Head-Of-Cabbage.

20 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Z THUD Z Hmmm, I prefer to lie down and THEN go to sleep.

21 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Some people are lucky. Dinner is going to be a little late. And some people are Jon.

22 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

The Brave Cat ventures forth into unchartered territory! Did you come to help me sort my socks? Aaaand back to chartered territory.

23 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

AAAAAGGHHH! I don't believe it! I spent all morning composing a passionate, tender love sonnet to Liz... -AND THEN MY STUPID COMPUTER CRASHED!! * You didn't crash, did you? Even the Internet has its standards.

24 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Eek! A cat! And don't you forget it! Eek! A lamp! Sigh

25 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I * Mice Why are you wearing that? I was cold.

26 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Yee-ha! How come WE don't have a mechanical bull?

27 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

When I retire, I'd like to build a little cabin up here. Garfield... Don't look at me. I suggested the beach.

28 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

There's a train coming! *

29 February 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

So, what's it like being a cat? I wouldn't know... I've never been awake long enough to find out.

1 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

XAN'S Cafe Caffeine click click click click click click click click click click Wow. click click click click The bathrooms here have those neat hot-air hand dryers. I've never SEEN so many camera phones. click click click clickclick click click click clic

2 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What are we going to do today? Whoa... I thought we were doing it.

3 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at me... I'm doing nothing! If you're good at it, you don't have to point it out.

4 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What was that? I thought I heard something. Oh, that... That was just the sound of my life force being sucked into a shrieking vortex of infinite boredom. There it is again.

5 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

It feels good lying here, but I'm hungrym and there's a good show on TV... What to do? I don't NEED this much stress in my life!

6 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Vacation time. -

7 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z ZZ *

8 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

CRUNCH munch munch munch munch munch munch Burp Great, googly MOOGLY, Gladys, we've got termites!

9 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm working on an ode to monday... But I still haven't found anything that rhymes with... PHHHHHHHHT

10 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You are so ungrateful. You don't even appreciate the little chocolate mints I leave in your bed. Mints? What mints?

11 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

The archaeologist removes a thin layer of sediment... wisk wisk wisk And oh, look... A fossil. How'd you like an ancient curse, pal?

12 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going running. And I'll stay here and eat the donuts. In this grand scheme, we have all our roles to play.

13 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah! A quiet evening at home! BARK! BARK! BARK! MROWR! FFFT! FFFT! Ah. A quiet evening behind the garage.

14 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I give up! You don't have to be doing anything to give up, right?

15 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hel Sure, I'll hold. My call is very important to them. And the check is in the mail, and this won't hurt a bit, and no, those pants don't make you look fat at all.

16 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahem Meow What did you say? Your guess is as good as mine.

17 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

No animal is more graceful than a cat. You'll have to take my word for it.

18 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Wy cats don't play basketball: POP S-S-S-S-S-S-S Dribbling.

19 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield, a paper bag! Cats love to hide in them! Get in the bag! I knew this would turn ugly.

20 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

They say cats have nine lives. gulp smack slurp smack snork slup gulp snark I imagine it just seems that way. Was that a shot?

21 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

A cat's innate curiosity causes him to explore the world. Travel brochures.

22 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

BOOT! SLAP!

23 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Come on, Liz, I'm not THAT bad of a housekeeper. Jon, there are COBWEBS in your dishwasher. That's because there's still room in the SINK! The bathroom sink, anyway.

24 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Honestly, Jon, when was the last time you even vacuumed? What is this "vacuum" thing of which you speak?

25 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Come on, say it with me..."I need to clean my house". Guh...bah..duhh... I...need... Dhay..bwah...gwah.. In case you wondered why I never married...

26 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe Liz is right. Maybe this place COULD use a good cleaning... And maybe chickens say "moo". We're BACHELORS, baby.

27 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I guess I'd better dust first. How hard could THAT be? PSHHHHHT M...Ma...Maids.

28 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess what, Liz? I cleaned the whole house by myself! Yup...even dusted our pizza-box tower in the living room! Hey, some folks would call those COLLECTIBLES! Beauty is in the eye of the bachelor.

29 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

* dingle dingle * ZIP The eye bone's connected to the drool bone.

30 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a beautiful day! Nature is calling! Tell it I'm in a meeting and can't be reached.

31 March 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'll go out and commune with nature. SLAM SLAM That was wast. A little nature goes a long way.

1 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What's with the can of purple paint? Nature has way too much green on it. RING That will be the neighborhood association.

2 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing like a long walk in the woods, Garfield. The trees, the ferns...more trees...more ferns... We're lost, aren't we? I'm going to scream now.

3 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

YAH! A giant cactus-like creature! I'm sorry...I forget what you're called. Ed. EEEEED!

4 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield! Deer! Let's observe their natural behavior. They're laughing. And they're pointing at your hat.

5 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Ha! Ha! Ha! Yarf! Yarf! Yarf! Is that a chicken or a moose? There's one in every family.

6 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

HA! I ate before you got here! If that's not against the law, it should be.

7 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm just a regular guy. Yep. Just a regular guy. How many times are you going to insult regular guys?

8 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

* Oh, Garfieeeeeeeld! ** When it's musical, it can't be anything good.

9 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Want to hear about my day? Is this going to be another one of your boring stories?

10 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

The All-Cat Channel presents "How To Ignore Your Owner". What are you watching? -

11 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks for making my coffee, Garfield. You know it. clink thlup Id's uh widdle fwick. You know it. clink

12 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

EEEEYAHHHH -

13 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

click click click click click click click click click click click click What's on? click click click Who cares?

14 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

...but Dolores! I can't live without you! Yes, you can, Dirk! No, I...URK! THUD Score one for Dirk.

15 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

They say it couldn't be done AYIEEEEEEEEEE SPLAT! And they were right. That's a time-saver.

16 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Today's news is *very* depressing... But not if I sing it! Earthquake...tidal wave... I'd rather be depressed.

17 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Good evening... And welcome to the All-Dog channel. Sit. Stay.

18 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Wouldn't it be more entertaining if you turned the television on? I used to think so.

19 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Fetch the ball, Odie! SPLIIISH GAR AAAAAACHK! Life is good. FLAKES UP THE NOSE!!!

20 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello. I'm a fat, lazy cat! What's your name? Garfield. Wait right here. Call your lawyer.

21 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Something bit me! What if it's poisonous?! I could die! WHEN?!

22 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! WHY are there bacon bits in my fern?! Um, this is an absolute mystery to me.

23 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield... I bought a shredder! Why?

24 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon why don't you order us a pizza? A small, plain cheese pizza. You're new here, aren't you?

25 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I glued a blender to my face. Whoa! Is it saturday night already?

26 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

riiiinnng Hi, this is Jon... I'm not home right n-OW! Hey, that was my LEG! What do you think you're do-OW!!! STOP it with the claws already, or I'll-OWWWW!!! All right, that's it! It's GO-time, pal! you've had itn-OWWWW-*beeeeeeeeeeep* I like your new me

27 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

This is my new cell phone. And this is the manual for it "Volume One"

28 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

My new cell phone has voice mail, a calendar, an alarm clock, a camera, a tip calculator, a GPS system, and it plays MP3 music files. It does everything but ring. That would require friends.

29 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

BEEDLE BEEDLE BEEDLE I don't believe it! My cell phone's ringing! Hello? Yo, mom...'sup?

30 April 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

BEEDLE BEEDLE BEEDLE Hello? * CLICK! * Darn! I took another picture of my ear! New cell phone

1 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

BEEDLE BEEDLE BEEDLE A call! RIP Hello? You belt holster's a little tight there.

2 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm a dork... I'm a dork...I'm a dork, dork, dork... GARFIELD, STOP MESSING WITH MY RINGTONE! I'm a dork...

3 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z *snort* Coffee not strong enough? Hey, who tipped the room?

4 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, birds in the trees Hello, sun in the sky Hello, pothole in the driveway

5 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

CHA-KUNK! KEEP OFF GRASS KEEP OFF GRASS

6 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

So what is it like growing up the only daisy in a patch of weeds? It was tough, man. They teased me every day...they called me... *SOB* ...PRETTY BOY! The fiends

7 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You'll have to excuse me...sometimes I say things without really thinking first you pathetic meow sack! sort of just like that

8 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What's the occasion? Big date? Wedding? Polka club meeting? Never mind.

9 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Whatever you do... DO IT IN MODERATION! I thank you!

10 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Eew! Look! A gnarly old hot dog! It must have fallen through the grill... ...and laid there all winter long! Is that not *the* most disgusting thing you've ever see... No. *That* is. mmmmm

11 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, there's Arlene... SUUUUUCK Are you feeling okay? Not really. But how do I look?

12 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Arlene! Fancy meeting you here! I always dine Alfresco on tuesday nights. You do? Sure. It's trash night. I hope they serve mints.

13 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you like me, don't you` Sure. By the way, you're sitting in my spot. I like you too, Garfield.

14 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

So how's domestic life treating you, Garfield? Awful! Jon used too much oregano in the lasagna tonight... I grieve for you, Garfield. It's a jungle in there, Arlene.

15 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you hate being an alley cat, Arlene? ...don't you have to live with a *dog*? Sure is a quiet night.

16 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

All you think about is yourself, Garfield. That's not true! Sometimes *I* think about *you* thinking about *me*. sigh

17 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

step step step step step unscrew unscrew unscrew unscrew screw screw screw sc...ZZZT . THUD tinkle * tinkle * tinkle * Don't even smile. Inside I'm rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter.

18 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Mini Golf -> I've never been miniature golfing before. I must warn you, I'm a pro at it. "Jonny Ace" they call me...I even have my own putter! Of cour'se, it's been a while... Back when he was but a wee little nerdlet.

19 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Now, in miniature golf, you just swing easy...noe, don't be nervous...easy... PLUNK It went in the hole. Is that good? Uh-huh It's only a game. It's only a game.

20 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

TAP BOBK You'll have to play that one from the parking lot. STUPID GIANT BUNNY RABBIT!!

21 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Darn! It went in the water! Right into the mouth of the giant plaster snake. slosh slosh slosh YAAAHHHHHH Wow. I could've *sworn* that was plaster.

22 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

So how did I do on the front nine? We're still adding up your score. My cell phone has a calculator. NEVER MIND!!

23 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

So what? So your girlfriend beat you at miniature golf...so she better cooks than you...so she's smarter than you... *You* are pathetic.

24 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Boop Bip Beep Beep Bip Hi, Jon, it's Liz. I can't decide what to wear tonight. At first I thought my blue dress would be perfect, but then I decided my red top and skirt would look even better... Then I couldn't find any shoes to gowith *that*, so I switc

25 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, what are you looking at, fuzzball? Lunch, if you don't can the attitude. Ha! I eat cats like you for breakfast! Oh, yeah? ? Prove it!

26 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Nermal, have you ever had cosmetic surgery? Can you keep a secret? Yes. See this eyelash? Yessss?... *That's* real.

27 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, have *you* ever thought about cosmetic surgery? What, improve on *this*? That has to be the best straight line you've ever given me. It was a accident, okay?

28 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You're not so cute. Eww, yes you are. Why, thank you.

29 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You think *you're* the only one who can look cute? Check *this* out! You call *that* cute? Wait, wait. I'm a little out of practice.

30 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't hate me because I'm cute. -I' m getting tired of replacing that door. Try spackle.

31 May 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Garfield! BAM! BAM! BAM! Garfield, open the door! Garfield!! My arms are full of groceries! Well! It's about... ...time. Oooh, cookies!

1 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Water $20 Nobody's going to pay that. Free cup of salt?

2 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

This is Larry...he'll be interning for the summer. 'sup, man? WHACK! OW! That HURT! He's young. He'll learn. Just go away.

3 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Dogs... THUD They aren't real good at sharp turns.

4 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

That's a lot of sausages. That's so I can find my way back to the butcher shop.

5 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! Come and see! Not particularly moved by sunrises, are we?

6 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I would like to dedicate this next number to my idol. BLAAAATTPP Obviously, my idol does not play the trumpet.

7 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You're really attached to Garfield, aren't you? We've been together a long time. Just like an old married couple. A looooonnnnng time. SLAP! And what's *that* supposed to mean?! I think I'll check the roast. I want a divorce! Iget ther fridge.

8 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Yep, your birthday's coming. Calendars don't lie. Have you thought about what you want? Yes I have... But, oh, wait! They haven't invented time machines yet, have they?!

9 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't let this birthday thing get you down, Garfield. Hey, your age is only a number...right? A big honking number. The ears still work, by the way.

10 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, geezer. I hear your birthday cake is coming with a smoke alarm! That spider looks like it's laughing. Get me a ladder and a bat.

11 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Another birthday...maybe it's time to start thinking about my future. Time to start making some plans... Time to put that new hip on layway. So *that's* why cats eat mice.

12 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack I am NOT OLD!

13 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you thought about what kind of birthday cake you want? Besides "large"? There's another kind?

14 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

POOMP BOOT! It's tough getting old.

15 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Only three more days... And you'll be a year older. Sez you!

16 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield's birthday is coming up. Presents, presents, and more presents! What do you get for the cat who wants everything?

17 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Tomorrow is my brthday... This year I shall celebrate in an age-appropriate manner. Cool! I *love* musical wheelchairs!

18 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

In the minus column, there's loss of memory, loss of hair, acquisition of nose and ear hair, liver spots, wrinkles, achy joints, and saggy skin. In the plus column: cake. No contest. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

19 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Liz! Hello, Jon. Wow! What smells so good? My perfume? Mmmmm...beef... Ah, that would be my *other* perfume.

20 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Whoo! Am I full! What a meal that was! pat pat pat Boy, that liz sure can cook! Wanna smell my beef breath? You're a cruel, cruel man.

21 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to the All-Mime Channel. And now a word from our sponsor. -

22 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's washing his car. All done! -

23 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, *that* was aggravating. I got one of those shopping carts with a weird wheel. I had to shop in circles for an hour. I hope it was in the donut aisle.

24 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

How was the meat loaf? Great! BLEAH!

25 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow. There sure is a lot of napping going on.

26 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Wanna bat me around? Nah...I don't feel like it. A little Macrame then, perhaps? Okay, now you're *really* reaching.

27 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Supergarfield stands for truth... Justice... And shedding!

28 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Arlene's coming this way! She'll try to flirt with me, like she always does. It's pathetic, really... Act like you don't even notice her, Garfield. Poor, needy thing.

29 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Isn't this great, Garfield? Wonderful. Here we are, back on the farm! Yee-ha. I'm gonna go hug a cow! Long time, no date.

30 June 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Who are you? I'm a barn cat. I'm Garfield. I'm Barney. Where do you live? Okay, Flash, let's start again...

1 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you? I'm a chicken. Riiiight... If you're a chicken, where's the breading?

2 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Kids, farms are where we get our food. Cereal, fruit, vegetables... Excuse me, sir. Where might I find the whipped cream trees?

3 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Looks like rain. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup, yup. Yup, yup, yup. And they say the art of conversation is dead.

4 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

One of the best things about the farm is all the *nature*... It's *everywhere*! Like under your shoe.

5 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, you need to rethink your wardrobe. I do? Come on, we'll start by going through your closet. Hmmm...let's see...well, this has to go...oh, ick, and this, too... But I love that shirt! And this, and this, and this, and this, andWHAT is THAT?! THAT? YE

6 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

We've been together a long time, Garfield. Long time. Remember the good old days? That's not what I'd call them. Remember when I got the brussels sprout stuck in my navel? Those were the STUPID old days.

7 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, you know that checkout lane at the grocery store for 10 items or less? Well, Sir, I made it through with 12, count em', *12* items! One small step for man, one giant leap for nerdkind.

8 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I like to think I'm unique. Believe me, Jon, we *all* like to think you're unique.

9 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Through the dragon's nose, over the moat under the castle, and into the hole! WHACK! -Over the dragon, under the lights, through the snack bar, and into a fat lady's chilli dog. FORE!

10 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see, that's another hole in one for me... And another hole in one for you, too, Garfield. And where's Jon? He's still cursing out the plaster pirate on thirteen.

11 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon suspects nothing. Darn guard sock puppet.

12 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

-

13 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't think I'm getting enough rest. Not to worry! I'll pick up the slack.

14 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't suppose you'll be moving today? I don't suppose you'd care to get some exercise? I don't suppose you'd care to go outside?! I don't suppose you see any wheels on this bed?

15 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Two days, and you haven't so much as moved an Eyelid! That must take some willpower. Au contraire. MOVING required willpower.

16 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Day three, and you still haven't moved. Aren't you afraid of losing muscle tone? Sorry, stupid question. I'll say.

17 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I had trouble sleeping. I tossed and turned all afternoon.

18 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Wake up! Didn't I do that yesterday?

19 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

And now we have a dedication... This one goes out to Liz... ...from her boyfriend Joh, with all the love in his heart. So here it is, Liz, just for you...a little something called... "You're the rooty-tooty cross-eyed cutie who putthe oom in my oom-

20 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

All is well in my world. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! Except for the whole cats-wearing-boots thing.

21 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

-

22 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't believe it! Liz is out with another guy!... But why?! I bet if I disguised myself as a french waiter I could find out what was going on over there. But that would be incredibly stupid, wouldn't it? Absolutely. I'm goingin. My hero!

23 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You're at the top of my hate list, FATSO! SMACK Right up there with magazines!

24 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, men! HEAVE...HO!!! This does not bode well... Bring in the giant cactus plant!

25 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK! For this, I went to college?

26 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I hope you're not planning a fancy surprise party for my birthday. Fancy? tap tap FWEEEEEEP NOTHING'S too fancy for our Jon.

27 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Awwww. Z He remembered my birthday. Z

28 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz took me out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. A *really* nice restaurant. ...*glass* catsup bottles! Fancy-schmancy.

29 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

There's nothing like a fresh vegetable. And let's keep it that way! -

30 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Who's that? That's my neighbor, Mrs. Feeny. Why is she digging a moat around her house? I have my suspicions...

31 July 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz paid for our date last night. That made me feel a little weird. It was a *good* weird, though. Free weird is a good weird.

1 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon and I make a nice couple, don't you think, Garfield? Yes. Sort of like the way Argyle socks and polka-dotted bow ties go toghether. I sense sarcasm in that smile. You're getting to know me.

2 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! I've got *news* for you, buddy... You're not so smart! You're...not...so...smart! poke poke poke What do you think of *that*? ZIP

3 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I bought Liz a dozen roses today...for no reason at all! I bet she'll be so surprised... FOR FIFTY BUCKS, SHE'D BETTER!!! A fleeting moment of male clarity.

4 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Oooh, Flowers! Yeah, I got them from my latin dance instructor, Raoul. Oh... Kidding! They're for you, hon. Oh! I haven't tangoed since the Eisenhower administration.

5 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, flowers! Liz sent *me* flowers! Is that even legel? Better draw the blinds.

6 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks for the flowers, Liz! You're welcome, Jon. They were great. "Were"? Were. BURP

7 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, who had the coffees? Um... Just a little coffee-bar humor, Sir. That guy always looks so sad. Your tips could make Binky the Clown sad.

8 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm back from the store! sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish The sprayers in the produce aisle got me again. In the right light, you do resemble a giant brussels sprout.

9 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

boop Hello?...Liz?! -Sorry. I must have pushed your speed-dial number by mistake! I was calling to order a pizza...say, would you like to join us?...Great! Sure, pick up a movie on the way over! We'll make a night of it! Wow, Icouldn't have planned that b

10 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, fetch me a pizza. This is one of the good dreams.

11 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm. Funny leftovers or pizza? Just dial.

12 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to order a pizza. bip bip boop beep bip And I can do it without the pompons. Oh, c'mon...gimme a "p".

13 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Frank's pizza? This is Jon Arbuckle...I'd like to order my usual. Oh. Their forklift's in the shop. We'll starve!

14 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

...and deliver the pizza as soon as you can. How eill you know the right house? You'll know. I need more flares.

15 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Thirty-five dollars?!! For pizza delivery?! The police escort was extra.

16 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

EEEEYAWWNNNN KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF snuck snuck scratch scratch scratch snorfel snorfel snoff snoff snorf You were such a cute kitten. Blow it out your bunny slippers.

17 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you have in your mouth? What's that? An inventory list.

18 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I have generously decided to allow you to speak to me. You're fat. I'm too generous.

19 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahem. I am not too fat! And I am not sensitive about my weight!

20 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm fat. You're fat. AM NOT!

21 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I am not. You're fat. We've had that conversation before.

22 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! You don't weigh much! Why, thank you ...for a guy without tusks. I knew it.

23 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, I'm Jon's hamburger. Have you seen the catup around? Um...no. Hey, Ham, where's Catsup? Running late. Late again?! My *ice* is melting! Cool down, Pops... We're *sick* of him *never* being on time for meals! Right *on*, frenchy! Where's my *lunch*?!

24 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

CRACK! You must diet now. Be a pal and slide some food down here.

25 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You should eat a little less at each meal. I could do that, I suppose. Of course, it would mean doubling up on the snacks!

26 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you ever stop to think that you might eat so much because of some emotionel need? ...that you eat to compensate for some inner need? Of course. It's called hunger, you dipstick.

27 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I know it's hard, but try not to think of food. Try to visualize a peaceful meadow... I see it. Under a tree, sits a beautiful girl... Wearing a dress made of bacon.

28 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not fond of salads... And they hate me. DOINK! Stop throwing croutons at me!

29 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

How to lose weight What a great book! It's perfect for sneaking snacks. MUNCH MUNCH

30 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

GURRRGLE GURGLE Hey! Waiiiit a minute... This lousy diet has me seeing things again... You're a diet hallucination, aren't you?! Okay, sport. You got me. GURGLE URGLE URGLE ORGLE URGLE I wonder what diet hallucinations taste like.Chicken!

31 August 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

If you lost a little weight... ...you'd still be fat. All right! Dieting is futile!

1 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is going to call me! Any hour now! Be sure to tell her how pathetic you are.

2 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

RING Meow! That was Liz. She wanted to talk to you, but I meowed her out of it.

3 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what Liz is doing right now... And now... And now... WHAN WHAM WHAM WHAM

4 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to go dancing saturday night, Jon? WOULD I? Would I? As long as I don't have to watch.

5 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Fish are fascinating to watch. Like when they're in a frying pan! I assume you are taking that to the kitchen?

6 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

RIING Jon, I have to break our date. We just had an emergency case come into clinic. That's okay, Liz. I understand. Well, pal, no date. I guess it's just you and me tonight. Boy, does this ever bring back memories, huh? Like athree-day-old taco.

7 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! A mouse! Correct. You *do* know your rodents.

8 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

If anybody asks, I'm chasing you. Okay. He's chasing me.

9 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes The Great Garfield, everyone! Give it up for Garfield! clap clap clap clap What? I'm chasing him. Just *slowly* Woo-hoo!

10 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD!! Lose the putting green. Aw, man!

11 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

SNAP! OW! SNAP! OW! SNAP! OW! One more. SNAP! OW! Well, Jon found all the mousetraps.

12 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Greetings, fellow mice! What are you going to do about that? Take him to a tiny optometrist?

13 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Out! SLASH -

14 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

"Amanda Irkburger and Earl Smooch were joined in holy matrimony last saturday". "...the reception was held at the Mulligan Pine Country Club". Nice picture of you. There was cake.

15 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I got a traffic ticket today... For singing at a red light with my windows down. I have to pay a fine and carry a pitch pipe in my car all times. I've heard you sing...you got off easy.

16 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Odie is dreaming about chasing a rabbit. AR! YIP! YIP! YIP! It always ends with the rabbit beating the stuffing out of him.

17 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Is your Chili spicy? Not really. GAAAHH! MY THOAT! MILK! ICE WATER! ALOE VERA!!! Unless you're a weenie BRing it on! Joooon... I CAN'T SEE!!!

18 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

How was your meal this evening, Ma'am? Delicious, thank you. And how was you five-alarm chili, sir? HHHAMBLA NA FA Sir? Uh...he's french. na nee waa noo

19 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I am not a loser...I am not a loser...I am not a loser... Jon's reading a self-help book. Chapter One: Denial

20 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

boot! boot! GARFIELD!!! Yes?

21 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

These new laptop computers look pretty cool. Maybe I should get one. What do you think? They'll never replace cats.

22 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

tic tic tic tic tic tic 12...36...48...ah...72 point. FEED ME

23 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Garf1: Meow meow meow Whiskers232: Mew mew mew tic tic tic Pussnboots113: Hiiiisssss! Whiskers232: Hiiiiisssss! Pussnboots113: Fft! Fft! Rowr!! These cat chat rooms can get pretty ugly.

24 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You have mail. click Dear spider, 3...2...1... -

25 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

click click click click click click click click click click click I'm here to deliver you three tons of dried flies...

26 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I think I'm losing my touch.

27 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

GOOD Morning! YOU'RE up early. I haven't even made your breakfast. I think I'll skip it and go jogging. Oh, goody! Tomorrow's monday! pat pat pat This has got to be the worst nightmare I ever had.

28 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you remember my old girlfriend Ingrid? Nope. ...the one with the bulging biceps? Not at all. ...the cat hugger? Like it was yesterday.

29 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember my old girlfriend Jodell? You know...the psycho? You'll have to be more specific.

30 September 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you remember my old girlfriend Loretta? No. The one with the huge buckteeth? You know I'm terrible with names. She could open a can with her overbite. Oh, yeah...utensil face!

1 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember my old girlfriend Rhonda? Nope. She was all kinda stooped over?... Nope. ...and had the giant sloping forehead, Cro-Magnon brow and bad teeth? Oh, yeah. The hand model.

2 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you remember Myrna, that girl I took out once? The one with the humongous nostrils? That's an understatement. I never did find my keys that night.

3 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember my old girlfriend Griselda? The one with the bulging jaw muscles?... Boy, could she ever put away a rack of ribs. Why you let her get away, I will never know.

4 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess who's here? We're kitten-sitting Nermal today, Garfield! You two play nice together. So what should we play? How about hide and seek? Okay! What are you doing? Winning.

5 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sorry, Sir, but a coat and tie are required for dinner. DON'T YOU GET ANY GRAVY ON THOSE!

6 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

It says here a guy ate twenty pounds of baked beans. In just fifteen Minutes. Doesn't say what he won, though. Probably not any new friends.

7 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, this restaurant we're going to...is it fancy? Sort of. Should I wear my little black dress? ...Hello? He says yes.

8 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Psst! Liz! Which fork do I use? The salad fork. Oh. Psst!

9 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm back from my dinner date! Look, Odie! I brought you a doggie bag! And here's you kittie bag. That's all?

10 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I was feeling so manly today, then I had to go and stub my toe. ...cried like a baby... Wanna see my boo-boo? Frm manly to sissy, just like that.

11 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Of course I'm still seeing Jon... Things are going well, mother...he took me to a restaurant last night... This place was *fancy*, Mom! Cloth napkins, three forks, no flies on the salad bar... ...and a strolling violinist! Jon requesteda special song just

12 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I heard from my cousin Kenny today. Kenny? You know, the one with the botched facelift? I know a lot og Kennys. Looks like this? Ah, *that* Kenny?

13 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

There are my frat buddies in college. We had some great times. Good ol' "Ph Ama Geeka". Is that a keg of herbal tea?

14 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

My frat brothers were real practical jokers. It was all innocent fun, though. That's me, asleep, with a chicken glued to my forehead. Hang on, I'm writing this down.

15 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Here I am in the homecoming parade. I got to dress up and ride on the float my fraternity built. That's the biggest pocket protector I've ever seen. I'm the third mechanical pencil from the left.

16 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

There's Doc Boy with his girlfriend. And there he is with his prize pig! I think I have those in backward. Hard to tell...they're both wearing ribbons.

17 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember my old girlfriend Babette? I'm not sure. I think she was on the rebound. Oh, yeah... She wore that oil painting of her ex-boyfriend around her neck. Biggest locket I ever saw.

18 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

z z z z z OOOOF -

19 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You used to purr when I entered the room. BURP You call *that* a *purr*? You call that an entrance?

20 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You're right, Odie. That other dog *is* stupid looking.

21 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

And just what...? Did you know people feed ducks in the park?

22 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Well! Looks like *some*one had a good night. I had a suicidal giant cookie dream again.

23 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Mmm! These Escargots are good! You have a very sophisticated palate, Sir. Hmm? Not everyone appreciates the fine taste of snails. PHHHHHT

24 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Eww...ick! Get away! Help! Affectionate dog! -

25 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I am a headless swamp monster! Fear me! Maybe later. I am an invisible vampire! Good for you. RAAAAWWWHHHR! Do tell. EEK! My dish is empty!

26 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll never eat an entire plate of Jalapeno poppers before bed again.

27 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Do us all a huge favor and wake up.

28 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Weird dream, huh? You said it. Tell me, is it yours or mine? I'm not sure. ...or theirs.

29 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, once I had a dream where I could fly... Is it morning yet?

30 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

-

31 October 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Loved your pie!

1 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I saw you on the fence with Arlene last night. In fact, you've been out there *every* night this week... Could love be in the air? That is none of your business. Hey Arlene. Couldn't stay away, huh? You know what I like. Come alittle closer. Got any jell

2 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll walk you to your car, Liz... Oh, Jon, you're such a perfect gentleman! kiss Oh, Jon, you're such a perfect gentleman! Jealus

3 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

No Dogs Allowed Meow!

4 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, I'm your friendly neighborhood flea. Hey, little fella. Excuse me just for a moment. Do we have any dynamite?

5 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I may just blow off this entire day and do nothing. What do you think? Sure... Come on in, the lethargy's fine.

6 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Oooh, Jon! They have *oysters* here! Oysters? Let's order some! Um, sure. So how was your date?

7 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What's with the cupcake? It's the leftover meat loaf's birthday!

8 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Frank! ...are you listening to me?!... Frank, I've had it with you! Don't start with me...I'm not in the mood. All you do is sit around and suck blood all day! Hey! I'm a flea! Excuse me for making me a living! I should have marriedArnie Aphid...at least

9 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Dad?... It's Jon! Hold on a minute, son. SQUAWK! CHOP I'm helping your mother fix dinner. Sounds farm fresh.

10 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

You'd like my girlfriend, Dad. She's great with animals! I don't know...I'll have to ask her. How fast can you pluck a chicken?

11 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Dad, I asked my girlfriend, and though she never tried it... She thinks she could pluck a chicken in about half an hour. ...Dad? Are you sure enough she's good enough for you, son?

12 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

No, mom, Liz and I are just dating... No, no barn dances yet... Yes, I know what goes on at those barn dances... Farm confidential.

13 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I hear you have a GIRRRRL-friend. As a matter of fact, I DO, Doc Boy. Have you KIIIISSSSED her yet? Yes, I have! Uh...what's that like?

14 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, all I think about is Liz... I can't think about anything else. I know what you mean... I can't get my mind off that ham in the fridge.

15 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Greetings. I am a new state-of-the-art multifunction diagnostic scale. I not only provide digital and voice weight measurement to the ten-thousandth of a pound... But also body fat percentage, a muscle mass index rating, pulse reading,body temperature...

16 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I enjoy eating and sleeping Dit I mention eating? You lead a full life.

17 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Too much rice! That's one man's opinion.

18 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

How am I to frost the cake now that you've eaten it? Simple! Frost this.

19 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Thanks again for dinner, Liz. Good night, Jon. Sigh. Sigh. Did you *see* the way she dialed out for pizza? Marry this woman.

20 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

There is so much in the world I don't know about. But I *do* know where the food is, so...who cares?

21 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

It's the first snowflake of winter! ...and the second! And the third! -

22 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

There! Well, the Lasagna's in the oven! Shhhoouuuulllddd taaaaaaaaaake abouuuuuuuuuuuut forrrrrty-fiiiiiiiiiive minnnnnnnn... The sooner you want it, the longer it takes. Baaaarrrrrrrr

23 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, have you seen my other snow boot? Garfield?! Ain't nobody here but us tube socks.

24 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Base, this is Scout. You are clear to advance! I had no idea they were that organized. Oorah!

25 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I noticed you've been good all day. Why, thank you! I'm cramming for Christmas.

26 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Odie! tump tump tump Are you excited about Christmas? Huh? Huh? Boy? Are you excited? Huh? Huh? TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP

27 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Fa la la la laaa... La la la... Ow.

28 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, what would you like for Christmas this year? Peace on earth, goodwill toward men! Me, too! He said the same thing last year when she said, "a pink sweater".

29 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

lick lick lick thhhhhhhhhp! -

30 November 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

A GIFT CARD? I spend THREE WEEKS baking cookies, and all you get me is a lousy GIFT CARD?!! We will return to "The Christmas Mommy Snapped". Hide the rolling pin.

1 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

This should be an easy two-footer...and... Oh, NO! HE FELL IN THE HOLE! Elf golf.

2 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, I'm plugging in all the Christmas lights! Hey, we didn't blow a fuse! The laval lamp just erupted.

3 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

BLINK -

4 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Sant Claus is watching you. Watching me, you say? ...your cat named "Alonzo," you say?

5 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Dear Santa, My cat, Garfield, has been very, very good all year long. I *will* get my pants back, right? *After* you finish the letter.

6 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie Need a hint?

7 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Ohhh, no! Not YOU again! Not THIS year...no WAY!! Visit Santa "Jolly old elf," my foot. I HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER!!!

8 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Early Christmas present! HOLD ON! For me? I don't know, let's read the tag.

9 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

What a wonderful season! What a beautiful tree! What a bountiful harvest!

10 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I've hidden your Christmas present where you'll *never* find it. Tickle me all you want. I'm not telling. He's tougher than I thought.

11 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Look what Liz got me, Garfield! Candy cane earmuffs! Small world.

12 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

! -

13 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z Z Z -

14 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Look! A Christmas card from Doc Boy! See! He even made it himself! Charming... It's not often you see a holiday sentiment scrawled on a scrap of gunny sack.

15 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Forget it, Garfield... There's no way you're going to guess your present this year. And the turban won't help. I see a carpeted cylinder...yes, it appears to be a scratching post...

16 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I need to dig deep within myself to think of a gift for Liz that truly expresses my feelings for her. A coconut monkey head? You're gonna need a backhoe.

17 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's something your girlfriend might like. What a pretty necklace! IT's on sale, too. MUWAH! Where'd you get the ice cream? They bought it for me while you were unconscious.

18 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, Mom, Liz and I are still together. Mom! We're not *that* serious! She wants to give Liz her *corn bread* recipe! You might as well just buy the ring *now*.

19 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

"Happy holidays, Jon. All my love, Liz" See? ...right there... "All my love". I see it, I see it.

20 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh boy, oh boy, oh *boy*... Just five more days till Christmas! Only five! ...of course I don't need to count Christmas day, so that'd make it *four*... And *today's* almost half over, so if I don't count it, that's *three*... Thenfigure three days of sle

21 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes Santa Claus! Boy, are you *fat*! Coming from him, that hurts.

22 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

RIP TAER RIP RIP RIP Not all presents are for you I'm picking up on that.

23 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

How cute. The pizza delivery guy was dressed as Santa. Hey! Someone ate our pizza! BURP

24 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Merry Christmas!

25 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

So, Garfield, did you get everything you wanted for Christmas? That would be impossible, wouldn't it? Wow, two stupid questions in a row.

26 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

This thank you note is gonna be a challenge. Words don't do it justice.

27 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh I can't believe Christmas is over. I waited so long for it, and now it's gone... And I miss it. At least I still have you, old buddy. pat pat SHOOMF -

28 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

Sissy Boy Sissy Boy Sissy Boy It's laundry day, okay?! I like Doc Boy's Christmas presents.

29 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm making a list of things that need doing around this house. New...kitchen...light...bulb. You're writing on my face.

30 December 2008
 
 
   
Garfield

This year, I resolve to stay out of trouble... Which will require effort, determination... And being much sneakier.

31 December 2008
 




Garfield's Birthday | New Year's Eve | New Year's Day | X-max Eve | X-mas Day