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Garfield

Liz paid for our date last night. That made me feel a little weird. It was a *good* weird, though. Free weird is a good weird.

1 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Jon and I make a nice couple, don't you think, Garfield? Yes. Sort of like the way Argyle socks and polka-dotted bow ties go toghether. I sense sarcasm in that smile. You're getting to know me.

2 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Hey! I've got *news* for you, buddy... You're not so smart! You're...not...so...smart! poke poke poke What do you think of *that*? ZIP

3 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

I bought Liz a dozen roses today...for no reason at all! I bet she'll be so surprised... FOR FIFTY BUCKS, SHE'D BETTER!!! A fleeting moment of male clarity.

4 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Oooh, Flowers! Yeah, I got them from my latin dance instructor, Raoul. Oh... Kidding! They're for you, hon. Oh! I haven't tangoed since the Eisenhower administration.

5 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Look, flowers! Liz sent *me* flowers! Is that even legel? Better draw the blinds.

6 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Thanks for the flowers, Liz! You're welcome, Jon. They were great. "Were"? Were. BURP

7 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Okay, who had the coffees? Um... Just a little coffee-bar humor, Sir. That guy always looks so sad. Your tips could make Binky the Clown sad.

8 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

I'm back from the store! sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish The sprayers in the produce aisle got me again. In the right light, you do resemble a giant brussels sprout.

9 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

boop Hello?...Liz?! -Sorry. I must have pushed your speed-dial number by mistake! I was calling to order a pizza...say, would you like to join us?...Great! Sure, pick up a movie on the way over! We'll make a night of it! Wow, Icouldn't have planned that b

10 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Odie, fetch me a pizza. This is one of the good dreams.

11 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Hmmm. Funny leftovers or pizza? Just dial.

12 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

I'm going to order a pizza. bip bip boop beep bip And I can do it without the pompons. Oh, c'mon...gimme a "p".

13 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Frank's pizza? This is Jon Arbuckle...I'd like to order my usual. Oh. Their forklift's in the shop. We'll starve!

14 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

...and deliver the pizza as soon as you can. How eill you know the right house? You'll know. I need more flares.

15 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Thirty-five dollars?!! For pizza delivery?! The police escort was extra.

16 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

EEEEYAWWNNNN KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF snuck snuck scratch scratch scratch snorfel snorfel snoff snoff snorf You were such a cute kitten. Blow it out your bunny slippers.

17 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

What do you have in your mouth? What's that? An inventory list.

18 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

I have generously decided to allow you to speak to me. You're fat. I'm too generous.

19 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Ahem. I am not too fat! And I am not sensitive about my weight!

20 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

I'm fat. You're fat. AM NOT!

21 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

I am not. You're fat. We've had that conversation before.

22 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Hey! You don't weigh much! Why, thank you ...for a guy without tusks. I knew it.

23 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Hi, I'm Jon's hamburger. Have you seen the catup around? Um...no. Hey, Ham, where's Catsup? Running late. Late again?! My *ice* is melting! Cool down, Pops... We're *sick* of him *never* being on time for meals! Right *on*, frenchy! Where's my *lunch*?!

24 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

CRACK! You must diet now. Be a pal and slide some food down here.

25 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

You should eat a little less at each meal. I could do that, I suppose. Of course, it would mean doubling up on the snacks!

26 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

Did you ever stop to think that you might eat so much because of some emotionel need? ...that you eat to compensate for some inner need? Of course. It's called hunger, you dipstick.

27 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

I know it's hard, but try not to think of food. Try to visualize a peaceful meadow... I see it. Under a tree, sits a beautiful girl... Wearing a dress made of bacon.

28 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

I'm not fond of salads... And they hate me. DOINK! Stop throwing croutons at me!

29 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

How to lose weight What a great book! It's perfect for sneaking snacks. MUNCH MUNCH

30 August 2008
 


 
Garfield

GURRRGLE GURGLE Hey! Waiiiit a minute... This lousy diet has me seeing things again... You're a diet hallucination, aren't you?! Okay, sport. You got me. GURGLE URGLE URGLE ORGLE URGLE I wonder what diet hallucinations taste like.Chicken!

31 August 2008
 




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