Liz paid for our date last night. - That made me feel a little weird. - It was a *good* weird, though. Free weird is a good weird.
1 August 2008
Jon and I make a nice couple, don't you think, Garfield? - Yes. Sort of like the way Argyle socks and polka-dotted bow ties go toghether. - I sense sarcasm in that smile. You're getting to know me.
2 August 2008
Hey! - I've got *news* for you, buddy... - You're not so smart! - You're...not...so...smart! poke poke poke - What do you think of *that*? - - ZIP
3 August 2008
I bought Liz a dozen roses today...for no reason at all! - I bet she'll be so surprised... - FOR FIFTY BUCKS, SHE'D BETTER!!! A fleeting moment of male clarity.
4 August 2008
Oooh, Flowers! Yeah, I got them from my latin dance instructor, Raoul. - Oh... Kidding! They're for you, hon. - Oh! I haven't tangoed since the Eisenhower administration.
5 August 2008
Look, flowers! Liz sent *me* flowers! - - Is that even legel? Better draw the blinds.
6 August 2008
Thanks for the flowers, Liz! You're welcome, Jon. - They were great. - "Were"? Were. BURP
7 August 2008
Okay, who had the coffees? - Um... Just a little coffee-bar humor, Sir. - That guy always looks so sad. Your tips could make Binky the Clown sad.
8 August 2008
I'm back from the store! - sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish - The sprayers in the produce aisle got me again. In the right light, you do resemble a giant brussels sprout.
9 August 2008
boop - Hello?...Liz?!---Sorry. I must have pushed your speed-dial number by mistake! - I was calling to order a pizza...say, would you like to join us?...Great! - Sure, pick up a movie on the way over! We'll make a night of it! - Wow, I
10 August 2008
Odie, fetch me a pizza. - - This is one of the good dreams.
11 August 2008
- Hmmm. - Funny leftovers or pizza? Just dial.
12 August 2008
I'm going to order a pizza. - bip bip boop beep bip - And I can do it without the pompons. Oh, c'mon...gimme a "p".
13 August 2008
Frank's pizza? This is Jon Arbuckle...I'd like to order my usual. - Oh. - Their forklift's in the shop. We'll starve!
14 August 2008
...and deliver the pizza as soon as you can. - How eill you know the right house? - You'll know. I need more flares.
15 August 2008
Thirty-five dollars?!! - For pizza delivery?! - The police escort was extra.
16 August 2008
- - EEEEYAWWNNNN - KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF - snuck snuck scratch scratch scratch - snorfel snorfel snoff snoff snorf - You were such a cute kitten. Blow it out your bunny slippers.
17 August 2008
What do you have in your mouth? - - What's that? An inventory list.
18 August 2008
I have generously decided to allow you to speak to me. - You're fat. - I'm too generous.
19 August 2008
Ahem. - I am not too fat! - And I am not sensitive about my weight!
20 August 2008
I'm fat. - You're fat. - AM NOT!
21 August 2008
I am not. - You're fat. - We've had that conversation before.
22 August 2008
Hey! - You don't weigh much! Why, thank you - ...for a guy without tusks. I knew it.
23 August 2008
- Hi, I'm Jon's hamburger. - Have you seen the catup around? Um...no. - Hey, Ham, where's Catsup? Running late. - Late again?! My *ice* is melting! Cool down, Pops... - We're *sick* of him *never* being on time for meals! Right *on*, frenchy!
24 August 2008
- CRACK! - You must diet now. Be a pal and slide some food down here.
25 August 2008
You should eat a little less at each meal. - I could do that, I suppose. - Of course, it would mean doubling up on the snacks!
26 August 2008
Did you ever stop to think that you might eat so much because of some emotionel need? - ...that you eat to compensate for some inner need? Of course. - It's called hunger, you dipstick.
27 August 2008
I know it's hard, but try not to think of food. - Try to visualize a peaceful meadow... I see it. - Under a tree, sits a beautiful girl... Wearing a dress made of bacon.
28 August 2008
I'm not fond of salads... - And they hate me. - DOINK! Stop throwing croutons at me!
29 August 2008
How to lose weight - What a great book! - It's perfect for sneaking snacks. MUNCH MUNCH
30 August 2008
GURRRGLE - GURGLE Hey! - Waiiiit a minute... - This lousy diet has me seeing things again... - You're a diet hallucination, aren't you?! Okay, sport. You got me. - GURGLE URGLE URGLE ORGLE URGLE - I wonder what diet hallucinations taste like.
31 August 2008