Liz paid for our date last night. That made me feel a little weird. It was a *good* weird, though. Free weird is a good weird.
1 August 2008
Jon and I make a nice couple, don't you think, Garfield? Yes. Sort of like the way Argyle socks and polka-dotted bow ties go toghether. I sense sarcasm in that smile. You're getting to know me.
2 August 2008
Hey! I've got *news* for you, buddy... You're not so smart! You're...not...so...smart! poke poke poke What do you think of *that*? ZIP
3 August 2008
I bought Liz a dozen roses today...for no reason at all! I bet she'll be so surprised... FOR FIFTY BUCKS, SHE'D BETTER!!! A fleeting moment of male clarity.
4 August 2008
Oooh, Flowers! Yeah, I got them from my latin dance instructor, Raoul. Oh... Kidding! They're for you, hon. Oh! I haven't tangoed since the Eisenhower administration.
5 August 2008
Look, flowers! Liz sent *me* flowers! Is that even legel? Better draw the blinds.
6 August 2008
Thanks for the flowers, Liz! You're welcome, Jon. They were great. "Were"? Were. BURP
7 August 2008
Okay, who had the coffees? Um... Just a little coffee-bar humor, Sir. That guy always looks so sad. Your tips could make Binky the Clown sad.
8 August 2008
I'm back from the store! sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish sklish The sprayers in the produce aisle got me again. In the right light, you do resemble a giant brussels sprout.
9 August 2008
10 August 2008
Odie, fetch me a pizza. This is one of the good dreams.
11 August 2008
Hmmm. Funny leftovers or pizza? Just dial.
12 August 2008
I'm going to order a pizza. bip bip boop beep bip And I can do it without the pompons. Oh, c'mon...gimme a "p".
13 August 2008
Frank's pizza? This is Jon Arbuckle...I'd like to order my usual. Oh. Their forklift's in the shop. We'll starve!
14 August 2008
...and deliver the pizza as soon as you can. How eill you know the right house? You'll know. I need more flares.
15 August 2008
Thirty-five dollars?!! For pizza delivery?! The police escort was extra.
16 August 2008
EEEEYAWWNNNN KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF KAFF snuck snuck scratch scratch scratch snorfel snorfel snoff snoff snorf You were such a cute kitten. Blow it out your bunny slippers.
17 August 2008
What do you have in your mouth? What's that? An inventory list.
18 August 2008
I have generously decided to allow you to speak to me. You're fat. I'm too generous.
19 August 2008
Ahem. I am not too fat! And I am not sensitive about my weight!
20 August 2008
I'm fat. You're fat. AM NOT!
21 August 2008
I am not. You're fat. We've had that conversation before.
22 August 2008
Hey! You don't weigh much! Why, thank you ...for a guy without tusks. I knew it.
23 August 2008
24 August 2008
CRACK! You must diet now. Be a pal and slide some food down here.
25 August 2008
You should eat a little less at each meal. I could do that, I suppose. Of course, it would mean doubling up on the snacks!
26 August 2008
Did you ever stop to think that you might eat so much because of some emotionel need? ...that you eat to compensate for some inner need? Of course. It's called hunger, you dipstick.
27 August 2008
I know it's hard, but try not to think of food. Try to visualize a peaceful meadow... I see it. Under a tree, sits a beautiful girl... Wearing a dress made of bacon.
28 August 2008
I'm not fond of salads... And they hate me. DOINK! Stop throwing croutons at me!
29 August 2008
How to lose weight What a great book! It's perfect for sneaking snacks. MUNCH MUNCH
30 August 2008
GURRRGLE GURGLE Hey! Waiiiit a minute... This lousy diet has me seeing things again... You're a diet hallucination, aren't you?! Okay, sport. You got me. GURGLE URGLE URGLE ORGLE URGLE I wonder what diet hallucinations taste like.Chicken!
31 August 2008