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Garfield

1 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Your boyfriend called again. He sais he misses you madly, like a loon, and that dinner tonight cn't come too soon. He said that? Actually, he sang it, but it wasn't in my key.

2 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, I love how well you and Garfield get along. It's almost like you and I are proud parents! Of a very fat, striped, orange child. Baby hungry.

3 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

tap tap tap GAAAH!

4 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello. Goodbye. Avoiding the stuff in between is the key to a good relationship.

5 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm so cool my *shades* are wearing shades! Oh, please!

6 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Am I wasting my life? Yes. I withdraw the question. You're talking to a cat.

7 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm elected to the bad habits hall of fame! CRUMPLE CRUMPLE -

8 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You miss out on all sorts of things. Noooow you're getting it.

9 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Z *YAWN* I wish he'd warn me before stands up.

10 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Yawn Good night, Garfield. Good night, Pooky. 'night, Odie. What are you doing? Tucking in the leftovers?

11 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Morning. Morning. And no, I'm *not* turning up the heat!

12 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

There should be warnings for icy sidewalks!

13 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

-

14 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, I could live here... A TV over there and I'm all set! Garfield, unlock the door! If you're not the cable guy, go away! Pizza Delivery

15 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you going to order, Jon? Food. I always order food in a restaurant. Maybe I'll have the same.

16 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Missing Dog Beware Of Missing Dog Beware Of Missing Dog Waaait a minute.

17 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! That girl you sit on the fence with ate my buddy, Dave! Arlene? Never again will I thrill to him playing those traditional mouse folk rumbas on his tiny accordion! Sob! I'll speak to her about it. Hi, Arlene. Hi, Garfield. -Thanks for eating Dave. Hi

18 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Professor Odie will now explain wy dogs eat kids' homework. Where's your speech? Burp.

19 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm taking Odie for a walk. All right. tappy tappy tappy tappy tappy Then I'm bringing him back. Oh.

20 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Why is Odie holding this big rock? TONK That's why.

21 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

All of my decisions are wrong. So I've decided to *stop* making decisions! Good decision.

22 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

DING! Are the cookies done?! My underwear is dry! What a waste of a perfectly good "ding".

23 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

...and then I hacked up a hairball! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That's how all my stories end.

24 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

rrrrrrrrr BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK -

25 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of Dog Beware of Dog Beware of Dog

26 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't like to interrupt Odie when he's deep in lack of thought.

27 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I just got a haircut. I see. Thank you for not laughing. It ain't easy.

28 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff RIIIIING rrrrrrr

29 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me, doctor, is there a cure for dogs?

30 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Is that a cat hair or a dog hair in my food? Dog hair, definitely. My hear wouldn't be caught dead in your cooking.

31 January 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to be late for an appointment! Really late! Really, really, *really* late!! Just go!

1 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Here. GARFIELD! I'm on it! Do your own laundry!

2 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

And then it occured to me why I was limping all day... I was only wearing ONE SHOE! Why isn't he a tourist attraction?

3 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I stepped on gum. -

4 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

It says here, "Hot Dog Hank" was accosted and robbed in broad daylight today... What's this world coming to? The thief got away with everything in his cart. Tragic. Burp. Do you smell sauerkraut?

5 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you think of a collar with a little bell on it? Sure! That way I'll know where you are.

6 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, great... This is gonna be all about *you* again, isn't it?

7 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

donk Hail! Rain! Snow! Marshmallows? Ice cream cones! Hamburgers! Donuts! That dream ended better than it started.

8 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Reservation for two... Name's Arbuckle. Ah, yes...we have a special table, just for you... They know me here. Right under a fire sprinkler.

9 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

OH, NO! NOT AGAIN!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?!! Say...I recognize that voice... Armando! How are you? Welcome back, Senor Arbuckle.

10 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Every time we come here, we have you as a waiter, Armando. How is that? What a short straw. I am, as you say, cursed.

11 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Sir, before we begin, I have just one request. Shoot. Please don't order anything on fire. I *bought* you a new suit, didn't I?! Yes, but I still have the dreams. Oh, look! Popcorn shrimp!

12 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Armando, my fork is dirty. My apologies, Sir. I shall plunge it into my heart and get you a clean one. Boy, you've gotta admire that dedication. And that sarcasm.

13 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you leave Armando a nice tip? Of course. See? He's waving! With his fist? Right on, Armando!

14 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

SLAM! I'm back from the gym! Yeah, there's nothing like pumpin' iron! You know, a dude like me can never be TOO ripped. Just check out these guns! I'll be flexing in the foyer. Don't strain your imagination.

15 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

RIIING RIIING RIIING It can't be *that* important.

16 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

RIIING Hello? -

17 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Dum dee dum dummm... Dum dee deee... LAH-LA LAAAH LAAAAH-LAH-L Oh, hi. Got a little too into the 'hold' song.

18 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

bzzzzzzzz Is that buzzing necessary? Not really. Good. Then don't! clang! clang! clang!

19 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

They'll get done quicker if you don't stare. Cookie theories are made to be tested.

20 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm leaving you guys to start my own cat! rrrrrrrrrr They didn't tell us about this in business school...

21 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of Giant Squirrel Beware of Giant Squirrel Beware of Giant Squirrel Beware of Giant Squirrel SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE Beware of Giant Squirrel Beware of Giant Squirrel

22 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Ice cream truck.

23 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

ICE CREAM ICE CREAM How quaint.

24 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

HA! SPRINKLES AREN'T SO GREAT! You just keep telling yourself that.

25 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Want a lick? It's tuna ripple.

26 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Ambition! That's what I need! Sounds hard though, doesn't it? Welcome to *my* world, Kemo Sabe.

27 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

SLAP! Why did you do that?! A conversation starter?

28 February 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Make up your mind, Already! -

1 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats love to explore. Has the house always had a backyard?

2 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what Jon is doing. Is this lint or dust? WHY do I wonder?!

3 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

This is a quasi-pleasant day. Almost not bad. Almost not bad at all... It's nice to see Jon get a handle on that rampant optimism of his.

4 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you so happy about? You've done something awful to me, haven't you? YAAAAAH! Just playing with your paranoia.

5 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't feel so good. How's your diet? Are you eating enough canaries?

6 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Quiet day. Garfield! Let me in! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Darn. It's back.

7 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Come to poppa... DING DONG EEEEEEEEEK!! Snickerdoodle?

8 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

At least *IVE* had a busy day. And you think I haven't? It's been nonstop nothing all day long, Pal!

9 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Now *that's* lazy Z

10 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Never jump rope under a ceiling fan. Consider it on my not-to-do list.

11 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Why the sad face, mister? You've got it all! Good looks, personality... BURP ...tuna breath.

12 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Arbuckle Residence, how may I direct your call? ...please hold... Jon, here. He makes the coffee, too.

13 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I know, I know... Those bakery surveillance cameras add ten pounds.

14 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, no! I washed my underwear with my new red sweater, and turned it all pink! What am I gonna do? I can't wear pink underwear! Waaait a minute...I know, I know, I'll buy a blue sweater... ...wash it with the underwear... And turnit all *purple*! And his

15 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

There was something I was planning to do today. Oh, yeah. This is it.

16 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Every day you seem to get a little lazier. You got that right. That's how I maintain my number one ranking, baby!

17 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Look for that tree! Slow down! I think I'm going to be sick! I haven't started the car yet. I'm warming up.

18 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You cannot put lasagna between two slices of pizza! Because it's...uh... Saaay... Welcome to my world.

19 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

It isn't winter. It isn't summer, either. I need a bigger wardrobe.

20 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield Garfield I have a feeling you're trying to tell me something. You are a genius.

21 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, what are these? Just fridge magnets. Each one has the phone number of a different pizza delivery place. There must be at least 200 of them here. 232, actually. They're ranked top to bottom according to their black olive count,gooeyness of cheese, an

22 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

If I were the last mouse on earth, would you eat me? Not a chance... I'd force you to cook for me.

23 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

The mice around here are getting pretty brazen. Nonsense. You're just imagining it. Are you hogging all the hot water again? GARFIELD!

24 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I thought chasing mice was what cats *did*... But I guess I was mistaken! And it takes a big man to admit he's wrong! pat pat Nooooot heeelping...

25 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I've switched to low-fat cheese. Just one more reason not to chase him.

26 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey! Quite down in there! Sorry. I knew this slumber party was a bad idea.

27 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Next Mouse Hold Please Sigh.

28 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

bip bip beep boop You have *no* new messages. And I know I'm only a cell phone, but I get lonely TOO, y'now... So get some FRIENDS already why don't you, you sad excuse for a wireless customer... ...before I permanently switch yourringtone to the sound of

29 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Nobody's perfect. Hey, Garfield. Ah! A visual aid!

30 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

There's our homecoming king and queen. And that's me... I was voted homecoming court jester. Snazzy green tights.

31 March 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm cool. There's no such thing as a cool ball of yarn. How about now? I stand corrected.

1 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to get up! Z All right! That's good to know! Thanks for the heads up! I try to be informative. Z

2 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I sometimes make poor decisions. HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Like thinking you might be sympathetic. Hey, I was laughing *with* you.

3 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Life has many mysteries. Mysteries that pique the intellect. And, when dismissed, free a lot of time for eating.

4 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Going to the fence to see your girlfriend? Ha-ha. Hi, Arlene. Hi, Garfield. Jon thinks you're my girlfriend. Am I? Be right back SMACK See what you started?

5 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm getting out of shape. Maybe you should take up swimming. MAYBE YOU SHOU'D SHUT UP! I'm good.

6 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Anyone home? No! No one ever said birds were smart.

7 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Stand back, cat. I'm a black belt! These legs are lethal weapons! Can you break a brick? Ha! Try me! Go.

8 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Where's Bob? Dunno. Phil? Dunno. Steve? Dunno. Hmm. Am I in a horror movie?

9 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, Garfield. Yes?

10 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You're looking good, Fred. What's your secret? I've been working out and watching my diet. I'm eating healthier!

11 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

RAAAAHR!!! Holy BONES, Corporal! There's a giant monster invading the city! That's not a monster, Sir. What are you talking about?! Call out the artillery!! It's just a bad actor in a rubber suit. OH, it's NOT! It's a monster! Comeon...I can see the zippe

12 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Hmmm, still dark. Z

13 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you've slept your whole life away! That's not true. Although I don't seem to recall my teens.

14 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not lazy... I'm "sedentary". Which is classy lazy.

15 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

That's Wally Sneedhocker. He used to stuff me into my school locker every day. Now he's an undertaker. Go figure.

16 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

This is GREAT, Garfield! With all the old t-shirts I found in this box... I may never have to do laundry again! DYNOMITE OR show your face in public.

17 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I made a short list for Jon's trip to the grocery store. Very short. Here's what *not* to get.

18 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

shake shake shake flip doink doink doink doink doink doink doink doink BWOINK DOINK CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP clap

19 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Say, Jon, why don't I come over anf cook you dinner tonight? Here? In my kitchen? Sure! Why not? I guess there's time to hose out the fridge. Jon? ...are you there?

20 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess what? I'm not cooking tonight...Liz is! We're SAVED!! I mean, oh, really!

21 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz will be here any time! Wait...my watch has stopped! Now she'll never get here! Let's hope his kind never multiplies.

22 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, when was the last time you cleaned your OVEN? I didn't. -EVER?! The manual said it was SELF-cleaning. We're BACHELORS, baby.

23 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Sorry my kitchen was such a mess, Liz. Tht's all right, Jon. I promised I would fix you dinner, though, and I did. DING DONG There's the pizza now! Lady, I like the way you cook!

24 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Kiss me, Jon... Ow! Lip cramp! You haven't had a lot of practice kissing, have you? Don't tell his pillow that.

25 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Dear Jon, life here with you has become unbearable tic tic tic I can't stand it in this house another day, so I am running away the French Foreign Legion. tikka tikka tic tic tic Please don't try to find me. Just know that this is whatI want, and that it

26 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Some days I can't do anything right.

27 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I think goot times are on their way! They must be taking the scenic route.

28 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

We've got a great show tonight. Or is it tomorrow? Oh, Gee. Tonight? Tomorrow? Tonight? Tomorrow? It sure ain't tonight, pal.

29 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

THONK Excuse me for a moment He prefers to do the "Stubbed Toe Dance" in priveate. GAAAH! YEEE! YAHHHH! EEEESH!

30 April 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm busy. Oh, me too! Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy! Busy saying the word "busy".

1 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

There's nothing like a nice, brisk walk... You're SO right... For some of us. FASTER! FASTER!

2 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Garfield! Hee hee hee hee hee hee We always read the funnies together.

3 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Among spiders, I'm considered quite handsome SMACK! Well, I WAAAAS!!!

4 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi! SCHWACK I am taking you OFF my buddy list!

5 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Yeah, I'm on my cell...over in the kitchen beside the stupid cat. SMACK Leon?...Leon?... You sound like you're breaking up...

6 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahem... I've been appointed by the other spiders to appeal to your sense of humanity. Can't we all just get along? Well? Bite him on the eyelids!

7 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Cootchie.coo! SMACK! Can I get you (hee hee) an Aspirin? Oh, shut up.

8 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

The cat is out. Please swat yourself. SMACK Service just isn't what it used to be.

9 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

BU uurrrrrrp

10 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

When stalking prey... It's important to blend you into your background. Anybody home? NOK NOK

11 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats can even entertain themselves with an empty grocery bag. munch munch munch It isn't empty, is it? munch munch It will be!

12 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if I may be serious for a moment. Woo! Hoo! Woo woo!! Apparently not.

13 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I need motivation. Get up and do something, you lazy bum! Yep! That was life-transforming.

14 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

YAAAAAAH!! What a horrible nightmare! It's good to be awake. Look. They've made donuts illegal.

15 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't try to challenge my authority, Garfield. No, sir, I won't. You can't challenge what you ignore.

16 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, boy! It's that time of year again! Let's see...where shall I begin? I know!... Jon's closet! DING DONG Shedding season already?

17 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What a great day! AH, NATURE! I swallowed a bee! Nature has a sense of humor.

18 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Today could use a dimmer switch.

19 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What a beautiful day for a picnic! Unless you're those people! HEY! BRING THAT BACK!

20 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, cat! Hey, rock! What'cha doin'? Nothing much. What are you doing? Waiting for the next glacier. Oh, to be a rock.

21 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I feel at one with nature. Me, too. Squirrelburger?

22 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmm, a walnut tree. BONK! Isn't nature great? If you like concussions!

23 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

SLAM! I'm back from Binky Burger! I got a "Binky Buster" meal... Odie, you got the "Officer Bo-Bo Munch-A-Bunch Box"... And your usual is over there. Hey! Captain Gorge's Treasure Chest They forgot my "Larder O'Tartar Sauce"

24 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

A sombrero! Take me to your Chimichangas.

25 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I like this sombrero. It's comfortable... And functional. JUST a minute...

26 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh. PLOP Z Siesta attack.

27 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Tortilla chips, huh? Yep. MUNCH MUNCH Not bad. MUNCH MUNCH You really should have salsa with these. It's in the brim. Dip away.

28 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

OH, no... I do NOT want to play "Pinata"! No hablo ingles, Senor.

29 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hola, amigo! Hola. Care to explain yourself?! Let's just say he makes a cheese quesadilla to die for.

30 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, look... Mrs. Feeny's picture is in the paper. Her daisy garden won "Yard Of The Month" MWAHAHAHA -

31 May 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Some of these flavored coffees are pretty good. SLUP Mmm. Canary.

1 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

BOOP Hey! BOOP BEEP BOOP This thing plays little notes! BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BOOP I can play a song! Garfield, what are you doing? "!$"$"$$%...

2 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you packed for the fishing trip, Garfield? Yup Got everything. Cornmeal, butter, eggs, tartar sauce, buns, deep fryer and 200 miles of extension cord!

3 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Garfield. We're going to back the boat into the water. Let me know when to stop. G'wan back. That's good.

4 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see...which lure should I...ah...AH... CHOO YAAHH! How about the one in your left nostril?

5 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Watch the distance of this cast, Garfield! It's gonna be a new world's record! FLING Hark, did I hear a trout chuckle?

6 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

nnngggghhhhhhhh... aaeeeeerrrrrrggghhh... YAHOO! COME TO PAPA! GET THE NET, GARFIELD! GET THE NET! For the fish, or fo you?

7 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

THAT is an ugly lure! GOT ONE! -THAT is an ugly fish! Ugly in, ugly out.

8 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. Sigh. Y'know? Fishing's great, Garfield...the fresh air... I smell bait. The wildlife... Mosquitoes the size of canned hams. zzzzzzz The solitude, the companionship. Stranded in a dinghy with Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Kindamakes a guy just wanna si

9 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

CLONK! I'm attracting a more sophisticated audience. That was an italian shoe.

10 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

RING RING RING RING BARK! BARK! BARK! Did you make tat phone stop ringing?

11 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Pet Store I'd like a hamster, a canary, and a large Cola, please.

12 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm thinking about taking you to a pet psychic. I want to understand what you're thinking. "Feeeeeed me..."

13 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, birthday boy! Wha?... We're the things you have to look forward to! Yea! I'm a grey hair! And's I'm a wrinkle! And don't forget me! What are you? I'm a liver spot! But I can't SEE you. Hi, guys! Sorry I'm late!

14 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

They say as you grow older, your ears and your nose continue to grow. Let's not grow old. Deal.

15 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Think young...BE young! boing boing boing Does it hurt much? Don't ever let me do that again.

16 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I promise, no age jokes this year. I SAID, I PROMISE, NO AGE JOKES THIS YEAR!!!

17 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I invited Liz over for your birthday. One...two...three...four... You're counting cake slices, aren't you? Better take two.

18 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy birthday, Garfield! What's this? It's a lasagna-shaped cake! Liz made it. Come away with me.

19 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

So, what's it like to be old and feeble? Better than being young and edible. But your wit is as keen as ever! Kiss-up.

20 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What a perfect night, Garfield. Uh-huh. A beautifull moon...a million stars...you and me together... Yup. Would you like to make it special? I sure would! But if I order another pizza with Jon's credit card, he'll kiss me. Arlene? -What a perfect night..

21 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You look down, Garfield. Are you bored, upset or sleepy? I only get to choose one?

22 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Almost everything is your fault! That's not true. EVERYTHING is my fault!

23 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a good spot to bury your bone, Odie! DIG DIG DIG DIG DIG DIG I love my job.

24 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow! What a beautiful view! I can see a cat food factory from here!

25 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon! You shouldn't leave these things out! I might eat one! Fear not, my dear. I'LL protect you.

26 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

...and that's why I...hey! You're not Jon! You're a potted plant! You should wear a name tag or something!

27 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

XAN's Cafe Caffeine SIP GULP Woo! Ahhhhhh WOW, they make strong coffee here. Just how I like it. SIP CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG I think I'll go home and read the encyclopedias. And I'll mow the lawn with my teeth.

28 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

The washing machine's broken... So I did my laundry in the dishwasher. Now my underwear smells lemony fresh. And the dishes? Well, that's another story.

29 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, the kitchen's floor's mopped! Did you know the linoleum had a pattern? And when was the last time you saw Paisley?

30 June 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Check out the carpet! Fresh vacuum cleaner tracks. I am the MAN!

1 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

foof I think it's time to dust. Is it july again already?

2 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Dusting isn't so hard! VOOOOOOOO Not with a leaf blower, it isn't. Hey, I found the couch!

3 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

VOOOOOOOOOO Hmm... THOOP The leaf blower *sucks*, too! Oh, for a world where pets could pick their owners.

4 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

SLAM! I got my hair cut today! Haircuts are great. You get to sit in a comfy chair and put your feet up... The barber drapes a big cape over you...you hear the hum of the clippers... And then afterward he dusts your neck with thatcool powder. Everything a

5 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I love mondays! WHOOMP So much for reverse psychology.

6 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What time is it? How should I know? I'm not wearing a watch! HA! HA! HA! It was worth it.

7 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

If wearing shades is cool... I figure wearing *three* pairs of shades must be *three* times as cool! About ten more pairs and you'll be in the neighborhood, pal!

8 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

...and that's how I spent my day. I'm surprised you sat and listened to me this long. What?! You mean this *isn't* a nightmare?!

9 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie seems to enjoy chasing his tail. Well? Not gonna happen.

10 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't claw me. Or bit me. Or anything else on the two-hundred-page list. I'm going to smack him with the list.

11 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. Liz is coming over again tonight, Odie. She comes over every weekend now. The two of them really seem to get along. I wonder how serious they really are... ...and I already ordered the pizza. No anchovies, just the way youlike it! Life as we know it

12 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

When I was ten, Thought girls were weird. Bit now that I'm older... I KNOW they're weird. With maturity comes great wisdom, my son.

13 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is coming over tonighjt. Guess I oughta power wash the living room. I love it when he gets domestic.

14 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I rented a movie. Want to watch it with us? There will be popcorn. I'll warm up the couch.

15 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess what? What? I have a surprise for Liz. And I've hidden it where you can never find it. In which case I have a surprise (burp) for *you*.

16 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, Liz. That's what's left of your flower after Garfield got through with it. Uh thank you. And here's a picture of your candy.

17 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow...what a kiss! Wow...it really was. Wow. Here comes a big ol' hairball.

18 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Binky Burger PHHHBBBT! PHHHHHHHBBBBT! PHHBBT! PHH! PLUH! PLUH! PLUH! PLUH PLUH PLUH PLUH PLUH PLUH PLURT PLURT PLURT PLURT PLORP PLORP PLORP PLORP PLORR SPLEET SPLEET SPLEET slpuh spluh spluh spluh PLUH-A PLUH-A PLUH squort squortSQEEZE PLORT I think we n

19 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

The yard doesn't look so good. Now that you mention it... Out blade of grass could do with a trim.

20 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

They say playing with your pet can be a real bonding experience. Funny, but I'm not feeling the love. Come a little closer. I'LL give you love.

21 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I have no clean clothes to wear. I gues I'll just have to break down and do the laundry. Although I could make a poncho out of the shower curtain. We're BACHELORS, baby.

22 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Giant man-eating shark off the port bow!! Where? I don't see anyth CHOMP Whoops...starboard. My bad. burrrrp I can never get those right either.

23 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

This house isn't going to clean itself. That would be pretty cool, though. Let's wait a few more months, just in case.

24 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

This tag clearly identifies you as my pet. Cool! I'm going to annoy big, mean guys!

25 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time for reading glasses.

26 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

My birthday is coming up, you know. Please don't get me anything, though. Well, there you went and spoiled my surprise.

27 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is taking me to dinner for my birthday! Me. Not us. ME. I hope your Arugula is rubbery.

28 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Longevity runs in my family, you know... My great-aunt Edna is 102, and is still sharp as a tack! The one who sews pants for her chickens? Still drives, too!

29 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

My great-uncle Floyd is 98... And he STILL goes out into the fields every day. Most days they're able to find him. Whe he sings to the soybeans.

30 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

That's my family and me at my college graduation. Mom...and dad...and Doc Boy... What's he holding? He took that chicken everywhere. The little cap and gown threw me off.

31 July 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

There's Little Cletus Snitch...he lived up the road from us. He was a mean kid...always teasing the farm animals. Then one day a cow ate him. And the Snitch Burger was born.

1 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

WHIP SLAP! SPLAT! Learned that from a Jersey cow. Those Jersey girls are TOUGH!

2 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Working at home has its disadvantages.

3 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Cookies! I thought I heard flour being sifted! You're incredible.

4 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I like to think of myself as an outdoorsman. Oh, no! I'm going to do it! No! Don't do it! I'm going to open a window! You're a wild man!

5 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

squeek squeek squeek squeek New shoes. Ah. squeek squeek squeek

6 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

My new shoes are too tight. You think?

7 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I brlieve in planning ahead. Becaaauuuuse... If you spend enought ime planning, you never actually have to do anything.

8 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I was just thinking... Oh, about your pitful existence? And how, with your limited mental assets, only hopelessness and despair await you for eternity? ...and there's nothing you can do about it?! I was just thinking about gettinga glass of water!

9 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

splat splat splat splat splat splat splat splat splat I see Mrs. Feeny got a new scope for her paintball gun. You'd think it would improve her aim.

10 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Another threatening letter from Mrs. Feeny. She's hired a txidermist. That's his concept sketch. I look so lifelike.

11 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Who's that? Our neighbor, Mrs. Feeny. Interesting yard. She's quite the gardener. I meant the high-voltage fence Oh, that. You get used to the hum.

12 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't think Mrs. Feeny really hates Garfield at all. I just think she's a very unhappy person, who Uh-oh. Here she comes. I've been here all day.

13 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you think you and Mrs. Feeny should make up and be friends? HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Did your little talk do any good? It seemed to cheer him up.

14 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you been harassing Mrs. Feeny? Yes. I harassed her, and I'd gladly do it again! BWA-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! It's a good thing he can't hear me.

15 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I went shopping at the mall today. They opened a new pet buotique. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff they sell there. Oh, no...you wouldn't. You didn't. I'll give you a dollar to eat his credit cards. Tuff Kitty

16 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

It's "Lasagna Week" on the cooking channel.

17 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Will Eat Homework For Food Times are tough.

18 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you doing? Waiting for my spotlight. You'd think he'd have learned something about cats by now.

19 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What a boring day. -

20 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, if you dare, into the dark world of the dog... pant pant pant pant pant pant pant pant scratch scratch scratch Good luck sleeping tonight.

21 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah! Eggs! Now, where's the nest with the bacon?

22 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Drink meeeeee. I'm gonna need all the cream you've got.

23 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

EEEEEEEK Um...I mean, get the mouse. This goes right in my blog.

24 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I did not sleep a wink last night! Okay, okay... I'll look into it. Uh, Tommy, could I have a word with you?

25 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, we really need to talk about this mouse problem. Go ahead. Anything you say to him, you can say to us.

26 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, the blight of urban sprawl.

27 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

nibble nibble Whew! Stuffed! Sharing with mice is nice.

28 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Weird. The cheese drawer in the refrigerator... Is FULL of these tiny pieces of paper. Stop with the I.O.U.s No, no...I'm good for it.

29 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff sniff BURP?

30 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Happiness is contagious! I'm immune.

31 August 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Take a look at this, Jon! This is a pice of blank paper. Then may I assume you can also see that my dish is empty?

1 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I cut my finger on your cat food can today. I hope you appreciate what I go through for you. I hope you didn't bleed on my food.

2 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

YAAAAAAH! Hey, the leftove rcanary in the refrigerator is mine, pal!

3 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I know, Odie... I have dog treats on my breath.

4 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Sig. SMACK! How would you like it if I did that to you?! As long as you're not sighing.

5 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Chez Gorge buzz buzz GAAAHH! buzz buzz Something's in my shirt! buzz buzz buzz GET IT OFF ME!!! GET IT OFF ME!!! buzz buzz buzz The pager went off. buzz buzz Um...table for two? And a bag for my head.

6 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Your lobster, Sir. There's ANOTHER restaurant I can't go back to. "Crazed diner beats entree with pepper mill."

7 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I would like to be alone, Garfield. I understand completely. I'd be embarrassed to be seen with him too, lady.

8 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, as a vet I can tell you that cats shouldn't really drink coffee. You're funny.

9 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I't nice to have a man around the house. There's a man around the house? I mean YOU, Jon. I knew that! This whole "man" thing is new to Jon.

10 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz always wants to do GIRL things. Today we went to a CRAFTS FAIR... And I... *sob!* ENJOYED it! There, there...let's go lie on the couch and scratch ourselves.

11 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm writing a love note to Liz. And we need a dozen cans of tuna. Not everything is a shopping list, Garfield. Tell me you're kidding.

12 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

ARF! ARF! ARF! What's that, girl? ARF! ARF! ARF! You say little Timmy's fallen down the well again? ARF ARF ARF ARF And that he's hurt? ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF And he needs our help? ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARFARF And that you couldn't

13 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Z BARK! Z

14 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Your burger's not done yet. What's taking so long?!

15 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll bet I'm more bored than you are. That's impossible. You're not sitting here with YOU.

16 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Lap Dogs Needs Good Home. Now THERE's a lap I'd like to see.

17 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, can you help me? The zipper on my muscle suit is stuck. I HOPE THAT HURT! hee hee hee hee hee

18 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Somebody pushed Little Timmy down the old well! Uh... There isn't a security camera there, is there?

19 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

SPLOT My bad.

20 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

bzzzzzzzzzzzzz SMACK You gonna eat that?

21 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Summer's over.

22 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Woo-ee, Vern! Lookee at that cat! Great goshamighty, Gomer! He's a BIG 'un! Take my pitchur with it, Gomer! Smile an' say "Pork Rinds"! One more, Vern...he moved.

23 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

phhhhhhhhht Didn't buy it, huh? My purr needs work.

24 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Busy day? Yeah, but it was a good busy.

25 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Yessiree, I am in a GOOD mood... And not even YOU can spoil my day, you fat slob! ...Larry went with a smile on his lips and the comics section on his face.

26 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll make a deal with you. You don't splash me, and I won't splash xou. Agreed. -

27 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, would you please not stand so close to me? -

28 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

WHIRRRRRRRRRR Never floss near a blender. You missed a spot...

29 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll bet there are fish in this lake. You got THAT right, fat boy? You're all wet. It was worth it.

30 September 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl! B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl! You are watching the Flipping-Your-Lip network. Is it possible there are too many channels?

1 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess what I bought at the hardware store... A DRYWALL PATCH! Now I just need a hole! How about the gaping one in your head?

2 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored. But not too bored. What are you doing? Striving for perfection.

3 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield's toy mouse. I love how the little eyes pop out. squeek squeek squeek squeek Hi, Garfield. squeek squeek squeek Hi. squee My little brave man. Whoa...toys have it rough!

4 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

What a day it's been! I'm theorizing here.

5 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll split that with you. WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! Oh, come on...THAT was funny.

6 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP! You have a lot of bad habits. true... But, you know, I still feel like I could have more.

7 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Cruel Dog Cruel? Guess Your Weight And Age

8 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Stop slobbering or learn to swim.

9 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Colonel, look! An UFO has landed on the parade ground! Egad, corporal, this is historic! Man meets aliens! What a moment! What are they doing now? Emptying their septic tank, sir. "Saucer trash"

10 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... I miss high school. Did I ever tell you I was on the pep squad? Our team was "The Fighting Cows." I led cheers all the games. I bet my old uniform still fits! Jon? Are you home? GIMME A "C"!! Always phone first.

11 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Liz forgot her purse. Touch it. Are you kidding? It might go off!

12 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I called Liz. She said she'd pick up her purse in the morning. Looks like it's spending the night here. Don't we have a lead-lined box or something?

13 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz's purse smells like her. I wonder what my wallet smells like. A sweaty black pocket. And scientific curiosity is sated once again, ladies and gentlemen!

14 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Having a purse in the house completely disrupts the swinging bachelor vibe around here. What? Say that again for my webcam, and I'll make you famous.

15 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

DING DONG That'll be Liz to pick up her purse. Thanks, Jon...I've gotta run to work. kiss* FEEL FREE TO LEAVE IT MORE OFTEN! Close, the door, you're letting the mush in!

16 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I remember my aunt Orleen carried a REALLY big purse around all the time. Her right biceps was as big as her thigh. She was a sight in a strapless evening gown. And thank you in advance for my new nightmare.

17 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK BARK BARK BARK RRRRRR RRRRRRR -

18 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I must claw something! Whew! I feel much better. Have you seen my new curtains? Define "new".

19 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I must admit there's one thing about Odie... He makes me fell fun to be around.

20 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Nobody would dare to push you around, Garfield. You got that right, pal. They might pull a muscle. Hey!

21 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't go out tonight, Liz...I have a terrible cold. Don't worry, though. Garfield's taking good care of me... As in NOT! Can't you breathe in the other direction?

22 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Today I volunteered to help clean up the city park! It felt so good to be giving BACK to the community! And he got to swing on the swings. And I got to swing on the swings!

23 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm surprised you haven't caught my cold yet. Are you listening to me? Pardon?

24 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

SLAMP! Want to hear about my date with Liz? Do I have a choice? We were in the car, staring into each other's eyes... I reached out to turn on the car radio, but pushed the lighter instead... Then it popped out into my lap, I screamedand jumped, my head w

25 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Now, nobody panic! We're all safe in here! There's no way a big, stupid, bloodthirsty monster like that can figure out a locked door! DING-DONG I'll get it! I wonder who that could be?

26 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Men, I think the creature is hiding up in that ventilator shaft. Somebody's got to crawl up there and check it out... You! Private What's-Your-Name! Private Monster Chow.

27 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you bring me a brain, Igor? An *evil* brain? Yes, master... It's from an INSURANCE SALESMAN! Okay, Igor, now you're scaring ME. SOMEone's bucking for "Employee Of The Month".

28 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Dolores, in case that monster tries to eat us... Yes, Dirk? Well...I just wanted to say... Yes, my darling?... I'VE ALWAYS FOUND YOU VERY TASTY!! I think they can cancel the caterer.

29 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

We now return to "Dracula Meets The Chicago Bears". LOOK AT ZA SIZE OF ZOSE NECKS! IT'S A MOTHER LODE!! You rarely hear a vampire squeal like a schoolgirl.

30 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I just spent a WEEK watching bad horror movies. Seven whole days, utterly, totally, completely wasted. What's with the triumphant pose? If I told you,I'd just be bragging.

31 October 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Could you zip me up? ZIP The nest is a nice touch. Thank you. Isn't he the cutest thi HEY! Heeeere, birdy, birdy, birdy...

1 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a small world. Because you've eaten a large portion of it. For dessert, I'd like some baked alaska!

2 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

No matter how little I do... ...I always feel I could do less.

3 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a small world. Have you considered venturing beyond the kitchen?

4 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Grafield! A rubber mouse! Have fun! Was he talking to me or you?

5 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Where's my glass of milk? GARFIELD!

6 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Odie... You should do something about your condition... OR AT THE VERY LEAST, HIRE A LIFEGUARD!

7 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Cafe Caffeine SIP zzzz PUNG zzzz FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP A-HUH A-HUH A-HUH A-HUH BWEEEEEEEE grind grind grind gring grind grind grind I'll have what HE'S having.

8 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

How's life been treating you, Hon? I have a girlfriend now, Irma! I think she needs a shave, Hon. I wouldn't talk with those legs, HON!

9 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Dr. Wilson... Yes? Your boyfriend's in the waiting room with a banjo. Oh, no. Shall I get the tranquilizer gun?

10 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Ohhh I'm foamin' at the mouth over youuuu... You're the vet who's my sweetie, oh so truuuuue... In-oculate me with your love, oh please doooo... 'cuz I'm foamin' at the mouth over you. Like it? Uhhhh... All the patients are outside eatinggrass.

11 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You should have seen Liz's face when I played her my song. It looked like this. I love that face. You see it enough.

12 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, thanks for serenading me at work with your banjo. You're welcome, Liz. Please don't do that again though, okay? Why not? The chihuahua I was examining went into shock. They always look that way.

13 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

There are things I never realized about being a boyfriend. I have awesome responsibilities now... I hate to shave on WEEKENDS! No one ever said love was easy.

14 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you really going to EAT that? Do you know how many CALORIES are in that donut? ...and how much FAT? ...and how much SUGAR? I'll split it with you. The donut or the guilt?

15 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

About here,it's easy to spot a change in the seasons. FWUMP! Cartoon weather isn't very subtle.

16 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Doing good deeds will give you a warm feeling. A sweater works, too.

17 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I love.. TUNA! Jon and I know each other so well we can finish each other's sentences.

18 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, how about dinner tonight? I know a place with a great b-u-f-f-e-t. Make it a table for t-h-r-e-e.

19 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You wouldn't hit a fly with CONTACTS, would you? SMACK Nobody move!!

20 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

101 Cruel Things TO Do CLONK! OW! Number 102.

21 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, DIRTBAG! Yeah, YOU King Ugly! You're so ugly, you make onions cry! You're so ugly, you have to trick.or.treat by phone! And by the way, Stupidville called...they need you for the town statue! WHACK! Open mic night is gettingout of hand. tap tap tap

22 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Guess wht I barbecued! Because I've forgotten. THIS is why god made catsup.

23 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Dinner! THIS dinner! Hang on! I'm getting to it!

24 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Dog Woof! It's a tough week to be a turkey.

25 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I made something special for us this year... Something with NO bones... Turkey pizza! I'll carve!

26 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

This is MY world! Catering by Jon.

27 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Know what we haven't done lately? Scarf down pastries like a couple of root hogs! Let's go down to the donut shop and rock their world! I love this dream.

28 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Are we ready to order? Could I have just a few more minutes? GURRRGLE Just a minute more? GROWWWL Jon, you go first. Steakmediumrare, bakedpotato, sourcreamandchives, and thesteamedsparagus. Ummmmm... More bread? urrrgle BREAD!YES!!

29 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Christmas will be here soon. -

30 November 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Santa knows when you've been good. And he knows when you've been rolling araound in stuff. ROWR ROWR ROWRRRR

1 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Go. Buy presents. Buy muchos presents. You've really got the Christmas spirit, Garfield.

2 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You haven't been very good this year, you know. What are you asking Santa for? Leniency.

3 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's right. I haven't been very good this year. Maybe I'd better start. Ow.

4 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I remember christmases back on the farm... Uh-oh. The family all making corn cob ornaments together... Here we come. Doc Boy hot gluing sequins to my forehead... And there we go.

5 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

slurrrp Z Isn't your Christmas list to Santa sent YET?! It's a big file.

6 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, there! I'd like the cheapest tree you've got! This is an air freshener! Cash or charge, Diamond Jim?

7 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

The tree's still crooked.

8 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't blow a fuse...don't blow a fuse...don't blow a fuse... plug HA! The toaster is riverdancing.

9 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, are you climbing the Christmas tree? Yes and no. -

10 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

You're hard to shop for, Liz. I STILL haven't bought your gift. Really? I got yours two months ago. nnnnnnngh! Oh, cheer up. Have somer loser nog.

11 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, I'm stuck on your gift. I need a hint. Oh, Jon, you don't have to get me anything. She's REALLY not playing fair. Love is such a fun spectator sport.

12 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

SLAM! I went to a girly boutique today to find Liz's gift. They had fancy soaps, skin creams, and perfumes. Then this batty old woman wearing ten pounds of makeup runs at me with an atomizer! I tried to run, but I tripped over abasket of luffas, crashed t

13 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

"Merry Christmas, from your insurance company". They always remember. "P.S. and don't wear a necktie near the blender". They remembered that, too.

14 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

This online shopping is great! All you do is press akey, and... Oops. click I just bought 3,200 pecan logs. How'd you know what I wanted?!

15 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield -

16 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Is that the Johnny Mathis Christmas album? I'll take care of this. Turn it up!

17 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Need a stamp for your letter to Santa? Nope. I already E-mailed him my list. The server crashed, sir! Gee, let me guess.

18 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Mrs. Feeny wished me a merry Christmas today! She's up to something, isn't she? Beneath that chintz housecoat beats a heart of pure evil.

19 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE DINGLE DINGLE -

20 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, grandma! Are you enjoying an old-fashioned Christmas? Sure, I'll hold on. She's landing her hang glider in Belize. DING! The figgy pudding's ready!

21 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Merry Christmas, dad! Yes, I winterized my lawn mower... good talking to you, too! Dads keep it short and sweet.

22 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Merry Christmas, mom! How is everyone? Oh...that's too bad. The rooster has strep throat. Chicken soup is good for that.

23 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is coming over for Christmas! Does the house look okay? Jon, it's Liz. Better clean. Like your life depended on it.

24 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

A new stethoscope! Oh, Jon! It's engraved. "From my heart, to your ears. Love, Jon." I gotta give him this one.

25 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Go away!

26 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

Oooooh Ahhhhh Urf Boy, did we eat a lot. Did we ever. Urf I'd nominate this the best Christmas ever. Second the motion. Urf All in favor... BURRRRRP Motion carried. Meeting adjourned. Urf Z Z Z

27 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

*sigh* Christmas always ends so soon... COME BACK, CHRISTMAS! ...AND CAN YOU PICK UP SOME EGGNOG ON THE WAY?!

28 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

So what did you get the missus this year? A cheese grater. That's the look SHE gave me! Mouse, cat, man...we're all in the same boat, pal.

29 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

No doggy greeting! Hey! Where was my doggy greeting?

30 December 2009
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder if anything is going on. Like a party I haven't been invited to.

31 December 2009
 




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