Hey! - That girl you sit on the fence with ate my buddy, Dave! Arlene? - Never again will I thrill to him playing those traditional mouse folk rumbas on his tiny accordion! Sob! I'll speak to her about it. - - Hi, Arlene. Hi, Garfield. -
SLAM! - I'm back from the gym! - Yeah, there's nothing like pumpin' iron! - You know, a dude like me can never be TOO ripped. - Just check out these guns! - - I'll be flexing in the foyer. Don't strain your imagination.
Oh, no! - I washed my underwear with my new red sweater, and turned it all pink! - What am I gonna do? I can't wear pink underwear! - Waaait a minute...I know, I know, I'll buy a blue sweater... - ...wash it with the underwear... - And turn
- Jon, what are these? Just fridge magnets. - Each one has the phone number of a different pizza delivery place. - There must be at least 200 of them here. 232, actually. - They're ranked top to bottom according to their black olive count,
bip bip beep boop - You have *no* new messages. - And I know I'm only a cell phone, but I get lonely TOO, y'now... - So get some FRIENDS already why don't you, you sad excuse for a wireless customer... - ...before I permanently switch your
RAAAAHR!!! - Holy BONES, Corporal! There's a giant monster invading the city! That's not a monster, Sir. - What are you talking about?! Call out the artillery!! It's just a bad actor in a rubber suit. - OH, it's NOT! It's a monster! Come
- Dear Jon, life here with you has become unbearable tic tic tic - I can't stand it in this house another day, so I am running away the French Foreign Legion. tikka tikka tic tic tic - Please don't try to find me. Just know that this is what
SLAM! - I'm back from Binky Burger! - I got a "Binky Buster" meal... - Odie, you got the "Officer Bo-Bo Munch-A-Bunch Box"... - And your usual is over there. Hey! - Captain Gorge's Treasure Chest They forgot my "Larder O'Tartar Sauce" again!
Sigh. Sigh. - Y'know? Fishing's great, Garfield...the fresh air... I smell bait. - The wildlife... Mosquitoes the size of canned hams. zzzzzzz - The solitude, the companionship. Stranded in a dinghy with Tweedledee and Tweedledum. - Kinda
- Hey, birthday boy! Wha?... - We're the things you have to look forward to! - Yea! I'm a grey hair! And's I'm a wrinkle! - And don't forget me! What are you? - I'm a liver spot! But I can't SEE you. - Hi, guys! Sorry I'm late!
- What a perfect night, Garfield. Uh-huh. - A beautifull moon...a million stars...you and me together... Yup. - Would you like to make it special? I sure would! - But if I order another pizza with Jon's credit card, he'll kiss me. - Arlene? -
XAN's Cafe Caffeine - SIP GULP - Woo! Ahhhhhh - WOW, they make strong coffee here. Just how I like it. - SIP CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG - - I think I'll go home and read the encyclopedias. And I'll mow the lawn with my teeth.
SLAM! - I got my hair cut today! - Haircuts are great. You get to sit in a comfy chair and put your feet up... - The barber drapes a big cape over you...you hear the hum of the clippers... - And then afterward he dusts your neck with that
Sigh. - Liz is coming over again tonight, Odie. - She comes over every weekend now. - The two of them really seem to get along. - I wonder how serious they really are... - ...and I already ordered the pizza. No anchovies, just the way you
- - I was just thinking... - Oh, about your pitful existence? - And how, with your limited mental assets, only hopelessness and despair await you for eternity? - ...and there's nothing you can do about it?! - I was just thinking about getting
- Liz and I went shopping at the mall today. - They opened a new pet buotique. - You wouldn't believe some of the stuff they sell there. - Oh, no...you wouldn't. - You didn't. - I'll give you a dollar to eat his credit cards. Tuff Kitty
Chez Gorge - - buzz buzz GAAAHH! - buzz buzz Something's in my shirt! - buzz buzz buzz GET IT OFF ME!!! GET IT OFF ME!!! - buzz buzz buzz - The pager went off. buzz buzz Um...table for two? And a bag for my head.
Sigh... - I miss high school. - Did I ever tell you I was on the pep squad? - Our team was "The Fighting Cows." I led cheers all the games. - I bet my old uniform still fits! - Jon? Are you home? - GIMME A "C"!! Always phone first.
I remember my aunt Orleen carried a REALLY big purse around all the time. - Her right biceps was as big as her thigh. - She was a sight in a strapless evening gown. And thank you in advance for my new nightmare.
SLAMP! - Want to hear about my date with Liz? Do I have a choice? - We were in the car, staring into each other's eyes... - I reached out to turn on the car radio, but pushed the lighter instead... - Then it popped out into my lap, I screamed
Ohhh I'm foamin' at the mouth over youuuu... You're the vet who's my sweetie, oh so truuuuue... - In-oculate me with your love, oh please doooo... 'cuz I'm foamin' at the mouth over you. - Like it? Uhhhh... All the patients are outside eating
Jon, thanks for serenading me at work with your banjo. You're welcome, Liz. - Please don't do that again though, okay? Why not? - The chihuahua I was examining went into shock. They always look that way.
- Hey, DIRTBAG! - Yeah, YOU King Ugly! You're so ugly, you make onions cry! - You're so ugly, you have to trick.or.treat by phone! - And by the way, Stupidville called...they need you for the town statue! - WHACK! - Open mic night is getting
Are we ready to order? - Could I have just a few more minutes? - GURRRGLE - Just a minute more? - GROWWWL - Jon, you go first. Steakmediumrare, bakedpotato, sourcreamandchives, and thesteamedsparagus. - Ummmmm... More bread? urrrgle BREAD!
SLAM! - I went to a girly boutique today to find Liz's gift. - They had fancy soaps, skin creams, and perfumes. - Then this batty old woman wearing ten pounds of makeup runs at me with an atomizer! - I tried to run, but I tripped over a
Oooooh Ahhhhh Urf - Boy, did we eat a lot. Did we ever. Urf - I'd nominate this the best Christmas ever. Second the motion. Urf - All in favor... - BURRRRRP - Motion carried. Meeting adjourned. Urf - Z Z Z