B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl! - B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl B-bl! - You are watching the Flipping-Your-Lip network. - Is it possible there are too many channels?1 October 2009 |
 Guess what I bought at the hardware store... - A DRYWALL PATCH! - Now I just need a hole! How about the gaping one in your head?2 October 2009 |
 I'm bored. - But not too bored. - What are you doing? Striving for perfection.3 October 2009 |
 - Garfield's toy mouse. - I love how the little eyes pop out. squeek squeek squeek squeek - Hi, Garfield. squeek squeek squeek Hi. - squee- - - My little brave man. Whoa...toys have it rough!4 October 2009 |
 What a day it's been! - - I'm theorizing here.5 October 2009 |
 I'll split that with you. - WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! - Oh, come on...THAT was funny.6 October 2009 |
 BURP! - You have a lot of bad habits. true... - But, you know, I still feel like I could have more.7 October 2009 |
 Beware Of Cruel Dog - Cruel? - Guess Your Weight And Age8 October 2009 |
 - - Stop slobbering or learn to swim.9 October 2009 |
 Colonel, look! An UFO has landed on the parade ground! - Egad, corporal, this is historic! Man meets aliens! What a moment! - What are they doing now? Emptying their septic tank, sir. "Saucer trash"10 October 2009 |
 Sigh... - I miss high school. - Did I ever tell you I was on the pep squad? - Our team was "The Fighting Cows." I led cheers all the games. - I bet my old uniform still fits! - Jon? Are you home? - GIMME A "C"!! Always phone first.11 October 2009 |
 Look, Liz forgot her purse. - - Touch it. Are you kidding? It might go off!12 October 2009 |
 I called Liz. She said she'd pick up her purse in the morning. - - Looks like it's spending the night here. Don't we have a lead-lined box or something?13 October 2009 |
 Liz's purse smells like her. - I wonder what my wallet smells like. - A sweaty black pocket. And scientific curiosity is sated once again, ladies and gentlemen!14 October 2009 |
 Having a purse in the house completely disrupts the swinging bachelor vibe around here. - - What? Say that again for my webcam, and I'll make you famous.15 October 2009 |
 DING DONG That'll be Liz to pick up her purse. - Thanks, Jon...I've gotta run to work. kiss* - FEEL FREE TO LEAVE IT MORE OFTEN! Close, the door, you're letting the mush in!16 October 2009 |
 I remember my aunt Orleen carried a REALLY big purse around all the time. - Her right biceps was as big as her thigh. - She was a sight in a strapless evening gown. And thank you in advance for my new nightmare.17 October 2009 |
 - - - BARK BARK BARK BARK - RRRRRR RRRRRRR - -18 October 2009 |
 I must claw something! - Whew! I feel much better. - Have you seen my new curtains? Define "new".19 October 2009 |
 I must admit there's one thing about Odie... - - He makes me fell fun to be around.20 October 2009 |
 Nobody would dare to push you around, Garfield. - You got that right, pal. - They might pull a muscle. Hey!21 October 2009 |
 I can't go out tonight, Liz...I have a terrible cold. - Don't worry, though. Garfield's taking good care of me... - As in NOT! Can't you breathe in the other direction?22 October 2009 |
 Today I volunteered to help clean up the city park! - It felt so good to be giving BACK to the community! - And he got to swing on the swings. And I got to swing on the swings!23 October 2009 |
 I'm surprised you haven't caught my cold yet. - Are you listening to me? - Pardon?24 October 2009 |
 SLAMP! - Want to hear about my date with Liz? Do I have a choice? - We were in the car, staring into each other's eyes... - I reached out to turn on the car radio, but pushed the lighter instead... - Then it popped out into my lap, I screamed25 October 2009 |
 Now, nobody panic! We're all safe in here! - There's no way a big, stupid, bloodthirsty monster like that can figure out a locked door! - DING-DONG I'll get it! I wonder who that could be?26 October 2009 |
 Men, I think the creature is hiding up in that ventilator shaft. - Somebody's got to crawl up there and check it out... - You! Private What's-Your-Name! Private Monster Chow.27 October 2009 |
 Did you bring me a brain, Igor? An *evil* brain? Yes, master... - It's from an INSURANCE SALESMAN! - Okay, Igor, now you're scaring ME. SOMEone's bucking for "Employee Of The Month".28 October 2009 |
 Dolores, in case that monster tries to eat us... Yes, Dirk? - Well...I just wanted to say... Yes, my darling?... - I'VE ALWAYS FOUND YOU VERY TASTY!! I think they can cancel the caterer.29 October 2009 |
 We now return to "Dracula Meets The Chicago Bears". - LOOK AT ZA SIZE OF ZOSE NECKS! - IT'S A MOTHER LODE!! You rarely hear a vampire squeal like a schoolgirl.30 October 2009 |
 I just spent a WEEK watching bad horror movies. - Seven whole days, utterly, totally, completely wasted. - What's with the triumphant pose? If I told you,I'd just be bragging.31 October 2009 |
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