garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well, Garfield, we survived another holiday season. Now all we have to do is survive another year. Or just today. Have I told you how much I enjoy these little pep talks?
1 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'd like to forget the bad times. The ceiling needs mopping. But it's hard to keep up.
2 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
GAAAAAAAA The first and last annual meeting of the Polar Bear Club will now come to order. AAAA AAHH HHHH HHHH
3 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
There's only one way to get ahead in this world. Sponge off someone else! Hard work. Whoa, there are TWO ways?!
4 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You know that loose board on the porch? I finally nailed it back down! I heard. Let's see what's next on my list. Screams like that really carry.
5 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Arlene, you look nice today. Why, thank you, Garfield, so do you. Don't you know it! Aaand the moment has passed.
6 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This is one of my favorite spots. You don't say.
7 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The living room is OFF LIMITS tonight, guys. Liz and I are watching TV. But we don't WANNA watch TV. We wanna watch you and Liz. wink wink
8 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Donuts are bad for you, you know. And I love it when you're bad.
9 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Okay, let's see... No. No. No. Now, that looks nice! But this is just my blue shirt with a necktie! You look very handsome. I will NEVER understand women. Like that's a requirement.
10 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
pat pat pat Mrs. Feeny is o the phone. She's fast -
11 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Some people just don't look so good after they diet.
12 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's Supergarfield. And his trusty sidekick, Odieboy! Hey, Odieboy, that's MY superpower! Z
13 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's not easy being a crime fighter around here. Because there isn't any crime. Except what Odieboy did to the rug last thursday.
14 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Come, Odieboy! Time to do battle with our enemies! Actually, those pzzas weren't REALLY our enemies. Wait. I spoke too son.
15 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odieboy is being held captive! By his archrival... The LEASH!
16 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
FRRT! FRRT! FRRT! FRRT! FRRT! FRRT! HONK HONK HONK FRRT! FRRT! FRRT! PHHHT PHHHT HONK HONK HONK FRRT FRRT FRRT SNORT SNORT SNORT PHHHT HONK HONK FRRRT FRRRT B-BLL B-BLL B-BLL SNORT SNORT PHHHT PHHHT HONK HONK FRRT FRRT B-BLL B-BLLB-BLL SNORT PHHHT HONK FR
17 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well, the polar ice caps are melting. So? From now on, I set the thermostat! Oh, sure! Blame me!
18 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Beware Of Dog Thrills Galore! You Must Be This Tall To be Bitten >
19 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You know...my life isn't perfect... All you do is sleep! ...regardless of what others think.
20 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Donut Shop Where should we go on our next vacation, Garfield? Funny you should ask!...
21 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We can get a lot from books. For instance... I'm now taller!
22 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
dingle dingle BOINK Uh-oh. Nothing good can come from this.
23 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
GARFIELD! WAKE UP! IT'S SNOWING! -
24 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I will NEVER understand crossword puzzles. That's sudoku, you dip. What's a three-letter word for "five"?
25 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
8 I'll do my OWN Sudoku, thank you!
26 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Doing the Sudoku puzzle? Yeah. I've been working on it all day. I finished mine while I ate breakfast. -
27 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
-
28 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
erase erase erase erase Sigh... I may have figured out what "Sudoku" means... I think it's Japanese for AAAARRRGGHHH!! Hey, that was in my crossword puzzle!
29 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I did it! It took me all week, but I finally did it! I finished a Sudoku! Perhaps you should celebrate by bathing.Garfield, this is my life. Cleaning up cat hair. How sad is that? Now, about my litter box...
30 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hide me! I just escaped from the zoo! And you are? Duh! The king of the jungle! With THAT hair? What's wrong with it? Oh, where to start... And you are? Furious with my stylist. You beast.
31 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Who wants to scratch me behind the ears? Ah! A volunteer!
1 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield! GARFIELD! Didn't you hear me calling you? I assumed you were shouting my name for the sheer pleasure of it.
2 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I have a headache. You have a head? Please! Don't make me think! Sorry.
3 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Jon! I missed you! Now I miss missing you.
4 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Let's do something. Like what? Something fun! No way! You know how I hate trying new thinga.
5 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Maybe Jon would treat me nicer... If I treated HIM nicer. Or, I could just fake an injury. You okay, pal?
6 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And now, a word from our sponsor. Friends, how many times has THIS happened to YOU? BAM! BAM! BAM! GAAAHHH! MY THUMB!!! BUMP SSSSSS YAAHH! HOT STOVE!! WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AGGA AGGA AGGA AGGA NECKTIE IN THE BLENDER!!! If this is YOU,then you need Honko's C
7 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SLAM! THAT was a short date. Liz sent me home to change. My eyes!
8 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
click send How about that? Burn the jacket!
9 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
There's no WAY you can't like THIS suit! Is this a genetic thing? No, it's seersucker. Tiddy boom.
10 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Okay, I'm ready to go out! NO plaid. How about now? NO tie-dye. I told you, NO ugly ANYTHING. Poof! There went the whole wardrobe!
11 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey! Here's a clean shirt! I don't know why I've never worn this one... SPOOT!
12 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz thinks I have no fashion sense. Well, I'll show her! Where's my paisley ascot? I'd better close the drapes.
13 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Chez EATS I bet Garfield was a cute kitten. Oh, he was... Wanna see a picture? You keep a picture of your cat as a kitten...in your wallet? Sure! SMOOOOOCH I owe you one, Garfield. Lips that touch vets shall never touch mine!
14 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sorry I'm late! I lost track of the time! I will not dignify that comment with a response. "Lost track of time"...get it?
15 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Welcome to our humble home! And boooooooy, is this place humble.
16 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's good to be alive! I agree. Not great..."good".
17 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You know what the world needs more of? Frosting? Niceness. With frosting on it!
18 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I've been awake for 72 hours! Not in a row, mind you, but that's still a lot!
19 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ever want want anything you know you can't have, Garfield? Yup. -like morality? Nope. -like fame? Like 25 hours of sleep every day!
20 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Beware Of The Dog Pick a card...any card...go ahead! Don't tell me! Don't tell me! It's the three of clubs! Nope. Yes, it is! No, it isn't. BARK! BARK! BARK! I knew this would turn ugly.
21 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Level one: YAAAAHH! Level one: EEEEEEK! Level one: AIIIIYYYEE! Level one: GAAAHHH! How's the video game going?
22 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Here we go... Level one: YAAAAGGHH! Impressive graphics. It says you're supposed to reattach your head and try again.
23 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You must save the princess. Choose your character. BOOP "Sir Whines-A-Lot"?! That's the one I always choose! I want to be Sir Whines-A-Lot!! Talk about your type-casting.
24 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
O.L., you have a choice here...you can either squish my guy, or take the chest full of gold coins! sQUISH! Why? Money isn't everything.
25 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Congratulations! You saved the princess! -
26 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Congratilations! You saved the princess! -
27 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sigh... I keep a framed picture of Liz beside my bed... She's the screen saver on my computer, too. Plus, I carry a snapshot of her in my wallet... And I put her picture on my cell phone. I guess I just can't get enough of her. Ihear you, man. I feel the
28 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, Garfield! Read the shirt, bozo. Do Not Disturb I'm fine, thanks for asking!
1 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Here comes the future! Here it is! Gee, it was a lot like the past.
2 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, no! SLAP Coming Soon To This Site: Nature Am I the only one concerned about the plight of our nation's mini malls?
3 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What? Tell me what I've done. Because I'd like to do it again!
4 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This stealing food stuff has got to stop. Understood? Understood. Okay, give me a hug. That is one ugly photo I.D. Hey!
5 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm making big plans for the future, Garfield! For starters, I'm hoping to get a pen with ink in it. Whoa, getting a little ambitious there, aren't we?
6 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Who wants to go out? Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Who wants to go back in? Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!
7 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's as if a dark curtain has been lifted from over my soul... My life has MEANING again! New batteries in the TV remote. Can I get a HALLELUJAH!!! click click click click click
8 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We now return to "World's Worst-Dressed" Cool SUIT! Sigh.
9 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Act now! click Fast enough for you, pal?
10 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
A spokesman for the company stated that, "it just vanished completely". Authorities admit that this just may have been "the perfect crime". There's an ice cream truck parked in the garage. You saw nothing.
11 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, Terrence, tell me that you love me! Terrence?...Terrence?... I'm WATCHING the GAME! oooooWEEEE THERE'S a novel new place to park the remote.
12 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Cat Theater presents: "Romeo and Juliet" HACK! CRASH! Hark, what hairball through yonder window breaks? Man, that Shakespeare guy could really write!
13 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
So, Liz... Did you always want to be a vet? Oh, yeah... Ever since I was a little girl. I just love helping animals... Their love is so unconditional. I'll purr for a donut.
14 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, you lack ambition... and personality... and self-control, and tact, and comparison, adn... We may be here for a while.
15 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Every name means something, Garfield. I'm looking mine up. "Jon...he who gets beat up for his lunch money". Now that's just scary.
16 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Then he started kicking me!
17 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
"Cat Owner's Survey...question one" "Does your cat clean himself?" Check. Where's the moisturizing, volumizing, detangling conditioner?
18 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Bark. Is that it? Did I leave something out? No, no. I guess the magic is gone....
19 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Is MY donut good, Garfield? Enjoying MY donut, are you? Look. An unguarded donut is MY donut.
20 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hmm... It says here that cats are smarter than dogs... Check. ...and that cats are starter than humans... Check. ...and that cats should be pampered... Big check. ...And that cats are a gift to mankind, and should be worshipped...Checkaroon! ...and that c
21 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Shouldn't you be barking at me? Name? Garfield. You're not on the list. Come on! I'm a VERY happening cat!
22 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oom bah bah oom bah bah Oom bah bah ree bop! I was expecting to be barked at. Can I, just once, try something a little different?! I prefer the classics.
23 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BARK! BARK! HAR... Oh, my throat! Time for a nice cup of tea with a little honey. And don't forget the twist of lemon, you big sissy!
24 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
My brother does most of the barking around here. Oooh, I'm so afraid. BARK! BARK! By any chance, is one of you adopted?
25 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You aren't so tough. Oh, what a terrible thing to say! Boo hoo hoo! Oookaaayy, you're tough.
26 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Beware Of The Dog Or Not Z Okay Don't Like they needed a sign...
27 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hi there. Who's that? I am nature. I am the sky. I am the mountain. I am the ocean. Pretty impressive, huh? Uh-huh. If you can't be a cat.
28 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm here to help. See how much less we're getting done as a team?
29 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Something it seems like... I'm just going through the motions... BOOT! CRASH And then pick Odie lands on Jon's toothpick Eiffel tower and it all seems worthwile again!
30 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I think the coffee's a little strong today. It doesn't need a cup.
31 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
A new day dawns! The sun is shining! It must be grocery shopping day. I started the car for you!
1 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Farmers' Market Farmers' Market Farmers' ****** That's all that's left.
2 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I miss out on a lot of things. I'm going to brush my upper teeths with one toothpaste, and my lower teeth with another toothpaste! But not nearly enough things.
3 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, LOOK! What? TWANG yoing yoing yoing yoing WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Jon, LOOK! Yeah, riiiiiiight. How stupid do you think I am?
4 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
That's me the knight of the homecoming place. I was too nervous to ask any girls at school, so I took my cousin... Cliff was a lousy dancer. Lovely corsage.
5 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Why do I smell peanut butter cookies? I'll check it out. Yes? Lucky for us, she baked a double batch.
6 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You disgusting pig! I wouldn't take that. He was talking to YOU.
7 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Why must everything go right? I mean wrong! See? I can't even gat THAT wrong! I MEAN RIGHT! For those of you keeping track, two wrongs made a right.
8 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This is hour twenty of the Cat Benefit Telethon. Let's check the tote board... Eleven cents! Like cats care.
9 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Life is constantly changing. Then by definition... This must not be life.
10 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We're home now, stupid.
11 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You never show me any gratitude. SLAP Good job, pal. OW! And that's the thanks I get?!
12 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP I shrank my underwear in the dryer. Do that funny walk again!
13 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I washed the car with my favorite old T-shirt today. It felt like I had insulted it. How does one apologize to a t-shirt? Usually in front of a therapist.
14 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I CAN'T throw this t-shirt away, Liz! I've had it for years! Garfield, help me out her! beep. The shirt, please.
15 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz just doesn't understand how a guy FEELS about his favorite t-shirt. You understand, don't you, old buddy? beep. WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!!
16 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield! Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon. Why are you staring at me like that? You owe me three "Garfields".
17 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hi, Grafield. Hi, Arlene. How was your dinner? Lousy. Jon burned the pot roast, the gravy was lumpy and the brussels sprouts were soggy. How was yours? I ate a rat. Mint?
18 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm writing a profile of myself for my blog. Of course I had to pad it a bit to make myself sound more brainy. "Can count backward from 100"? Chicks dig smarts.
19 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Jon's Blog: Today my cat viciously attacked and devoured my precious pet goldfish. Who knew that my cat was capable of such an evil and unspeakable deed? I do have a NAME, you know. SMACK!
20 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I haven't had a single hit on my blog. You'd think people would be interested in what I have to say! Well, they WOULD! Is it sunny in Jonland today?
21 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Today a lady at a Chinese restaurant sneezed on me. ...what was up with that?! My blog is getting edgier! There's a snow pea on your shirt.
22 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Nobody ever visits my blog...it's too dull. I guess no one wants to read about an ordinary guy and his cat. Time to make stuff up! Give me an eye patch and a goatee!
23 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
My new call phone has a areally cool ringtone. Want me to play it? It's the only way we're ever going to hear it.
24 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SLAM! You wouldn't believe what happened to me! I went out to get the paper, and my robe got caught on a passing street sweeper. I swept five neighborhoods with my FACE before I could get the driver's attention. It took three firecompanies and a crowbar t
25 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Have some tuna-flavored things. You know what else is tuna flavored? TUNA!
26 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
-
27 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BURP You're disgusting. And we're out of soda.
28 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Have you seen my brother? Where'd you last see him? Right where you are now. Fomeone geth fiss mard mall moff me! Found 'im.
29 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I hear you're a real tough cat. But you don't scare me. AYIEEEEE!!
30 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie! Somebody's at the door! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! Huh? It's you, Einstein!
1 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
...and he loves animals too, Mom! This young man of yours sounds nice, dear. What does he do? He's a cartoonist. Mon?... Mom? Lizzie, it's dad. What did you just tell your mother? What's wrong, daddy? She's hyperventilating into a paperbag. I told her my
2 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Why don't we stay in tonight, and have a candlelight dinner for... ...TWO. Bye now.
3 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I had a dream about Liz last night. Oh, me too. She told me she loved me. She told me she loved me, too. It was very romantic. And then I ate a wooly mammoth.
4 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Cheer up, Pooky... Here, I have just the thing... Better.
5 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz's eyes are so beautiful... More beautiful than mine? flutter flutter flutter You're strange. Why do I even bother to keep myself up?
6 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I am NOT embarrassing to be seen with. The bag doesn't lie.
7 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie, here are the rules for today. No barking, running, panting, or slobbering. In other words, today you're a cat.
8 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We wrote a song about you, Garfield. * Oh, the cat is fat, but we don't care! * * And the cat is lazy, but we don't care! * * And the cat is ugly, but we don't caaaaare... * * 'Cause he won't eat us! * He's gonna pay for thosestrings! Shut up, Herman.
9 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The tuna noodle casserole just burst into flames. I'll hose it down, and you get the catsup. We're bachelors, baby.
10 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odd looking ball of yarn. That spaghetti was for dinner!
11 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oiling the floor keeps me from having to walk. Pretty clever, huh? THUD!
12 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Me Me "Me"? I'm a big fan.
13 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Mr. Mayor! The giant radioactive snail is approaching the city! How long have we got, general? Six, seven months, at least. I think I can squeeze in a snack.
14 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
My poor fish! Never to return! BURP! How about a cameo appearance?
15 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BWA-ha-ha!! BWA-HA-HA! Eat more vegetables! They're good for you! I'LL save you! SMACK! PUNCH PUNCH POW! And the world is once again safe for deep-fries treats! Thanks to YOU, Captain Donut! ...for I shall seek out thosevitamin-ridden evildoers, wherever
16 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hold on, you're breaking up... That's a little better... Perfect! Ah, technology!
17 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
New headset. Geek chic.
18 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This texting stuff is hard. I think my thumbs are too fat. How do you tone your thumbs? Channel changer crunches, my man!
19 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We've had enough of your bullying ways, fatso! Strength in numbers! Yeah! Now I know how Gulliver felt.
20 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
click Now THERE'S a good-lokkin' uvula! We have to date tonight.
21 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You know, Garfield, I don't care how lazy you are... I accept you for who you are. Accept me two steps to the left...you're blocking my view of the TV.
22 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hello? Yes, I'd like to order a pizza... With canaries. Goldfish. And extra catnip. You don't have tose toppings? Told ya! What if we supply the ingredients?
23 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
These were taken when my mom and dad were dating. He took her out every saturday night. Here they are on their way to town. I've never seen airbags in a buckboard.
24 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ah, the boring life... Quick! Garfield! I need a belt, a fishbowl, and a fire extinguisher!! I sure miss it.
25 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, hi, Arlene. Do you ever think about me, Garfield? Whenever I'm not thinking about me. So that's a "no". Oh, hi, Arlene.
26 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Toothbrushes can't swim. I have a bad feeling.
27 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I forgive you for yelling at me, Jon. Which you'll be doing shortly. CLAW CLAW CLAW GARFIELD!
28 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I AM sick, you know! Would it kill you to show a little compassion?! There, there.
29 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
OK, Liz...bye. That wa sLiz...AGAIN. She's always calling me! It's all "what are you doing?"..."how are you feeling?"..."how's work?"..."did you feed the cat?"... "I'm so excited about our date"..."I
30 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ice cream truck! ding ding There's nothing left but that little bell.
31 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
*** You are the worst songbird ever. Not my arrangements, man!
1 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I like to plan big! And do you know why? So you can fail big? That's your smart remark expression.
2 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
R-R-R-R-R-R zzzzzz SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP zzzzzzzz That was exciting! My turn! zzzzzzzz
3 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ow. Trying to figure life out makes my head hurt. Try having NINE of them to figure out, pal.
4 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well? Jon, I believe your coffee has crossed that fine line from freshly brewed... To roofing tar.
5 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sigh... It's my birthday. And nobody remembered. Happy birthday! Did you get me a present? No. Are you throwing me a party? No. Still, it's nice to be remembered.
6 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Echo Point Echo Point Well? Made you go first!
7 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
'night, Jon. Tomorrow's breakfast.
8 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I think you should have a nickname, Garfield. Let's see, what could it be?... How about "Lord Of Lard"? I like it.
9 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
An empty cat food bowl. The world's saddest sight. And in second place, ladies and gentlemen...
10 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What would it be like if cats ruled the world? "If"?!
11 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ol' Shecky was a fun fish. I'll sur emiss him. I guess it's true what they say... "Never eat the entertainment".
12 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield... What kind of birthday cake would you like this year, Garfield? Glad you asked. I've never seen a blueprint for a cake before. And this is the electrical schematic.
13 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Birthdays are about more than just cake and ice cream, you know. Okay, so they're not. You crazy kidder, you.
14 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I may be getting older, but at least I have nine lives. Well, eight anyway. Stupid fuzzy bologna.
15 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I don't know why you're so upset about another birthday... Growing older is just a natural part of life! Just like ear hair and wheezing! You can go now.
16 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What would you like for your birthday this year? A cake? Oh, a BIG cake.
17 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Are you done licking the bowl? These things take time.
18 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Make a wish! Like THAT ever works. DING-DONG Happy birthday, Garfield! I stand corrected.
19 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This is going to be the best day ever! THUD! LEt's say second best. BZZZZT! Still top ten. BAP! I'm going back to bed. This is going to be the best day ever!
20 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, if you ever got out of bed... The world would probably end. No need for panic, world.
21 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
zzzzzzz PLOP! zzzzzz They're learning.
22 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I am king of the house! And I'm going to shred the drapes now. Your majesty.
23 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm on the hunt. Cats are savy trackers. That french fry tells ma a hamburger is in the area.
24 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
* Good news. One of our neighbors now has a Koi pond. BURP Are you the guy with the cat?
25 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz! Mmm! KISS KISS SMOOCH KISS KISS Mwah! That poor picture!
26 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
zzzzz SWISH zzzzzz swish swish swish swish zzzz scree SMACK! SPLOT! SWACK! I'm going to... Hold still!
27 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, no! We're out of kitty treats! Oh, wait... I spoke too soon! Somebody go shopping!
28 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The buffet needs refreshing.
29 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
For Rent About the empty fishbowl... Do you have references?
30 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
PRETTY PROUD OF YOURSELF, AREN'T YOU? foo
1 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You can't hurt ME, pal...I'm a PUFFER fish! fffffff phhhhhhhhhhtttttttt
2 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You can't change the past. True. That's why they invented lying.
3 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, Garfield! Check out this drawing I did of a pig! I think I really captured its porkness... scribble scribble scribble Pigs don't have wings! They will before you can outdraw me, pablo.
4 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Advice What can I do to stop being such a loser? Hang on... Ask that question again. Miracles
5 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BURP! BURP! We spend too much time together. You're preaching to the choir.
6 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Frankly, I don't know how you can eat cat food. Like this. Let me know if you need the mystery of the roast beef sandwich cleared up.
7 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Camping IS fun.
8 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, Garfield... There's a cat treat in my purse for you. What? I can't hear you.
9 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I would appreciate it if you treated Liz like a member of the family. Okay... But I thought you wanted me to be nice to her.
10 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Trevor... Oh, Trevor, the walls in the parlor are bleeding. Doesn't mean athing, dearest. The solarium ceiling is covered in black flies... Nothing to concern yourself with, cuddleup. The kitchen sink told me to get out of the house...Wouldn't worry about
11 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ha! Ha! Ha! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Sorry I'm late. I was busy laughing at the "Beware Of Dog" sign. rrrr
12 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
There's something I should be doing, but I can't think of it. Bark at me? Not now! Can't you seen I'm trying to remember something? Ho boy.
13 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'd like to warm up with a few growls before I get to the barking. Ahem. Grr! Grr! Grr! Shouldn't you have done this before I got here?
14 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BARK! Man, that was loid! Where's that volume knob? You're miked!
15 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! DING Ooh, goody! My blueberry muffins are ready! They don't make VICIOUS like they used to.
16 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! There, how do YOU like it? Don't give up the day job.
17 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
* We will return after these messages. IT'S A BLANKET! IT'S A ROBE! IT'S A GIANT HANKY! ALL IN ONE!! RED INK?! SPAGHETTI SAUCE?! TELLTALE TURNIP STAINS?! ...NO PROBLEM!! IT SLICES! IT DICES! IT CHOPS! IT CONJUGATES VERBS!! MY TEETHARE SO WHITE NOW, I BLIN
18 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sometimes it seems like there isn't enough time in the day to not do all the things that need not doing.
19 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This is certainly a pleasant... ...day.
20 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
dingle dingle dingle That sounds like the bell from the "Happy Ice Cream" truck! But where is the "Happy Ice Cream" man? Reinflating his happy tires.
21 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm not going to bark at you. What? Sob! You don't hate me anymore! I hate you. Oh, you're just saying that!
22 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
When I'm in a mood to have fun, anything can happen! Except fun.
23 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
claw claw claw GARFIELD! It's summer, you should thank me.
24 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Okay, Liz... How about this? No WAY are you going out in public wearing that. I want a second opinion! Fine. BWA HA HA HA HA HA You guys are in cahoots! Just put it in the "ick" pile. I'll call the hazmat disposal squad.
25 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Where should we put our stuff? Anywhere is fine. How about there, close to the wa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa They call him "Jonny Suave"
26 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Excuse me, is that your girlfriend? Yes. KICK Hi, I'm Rolf. HI, I'm get lost. And I'm with Mr. Sand Face, there.
27 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The NERVE of that big guy...kicking sand in your face! I should have punched him out! WAH-HAHAHA! ...I mean, yeah!
28 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
C'mon, Jon, stop moping about that bully. I should have defended your honor! Jon...I don't want a big, strong man... I want YOU. Really? They deserve each other.
29 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line, and...
30 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Let's see...next on my "To-do" list... NOOGA! NOOGA! NOOGA! Okay, that's done. I hate that list.
31 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Did you meet my great white guppy? We met. Nice guy. I'll be moving now...
1 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Nothing lasts forever. Oh, I wouldn't say that. Take today, for instance.
2 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
RIIIING! Meow Right here will be fine, thank you.
3 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's my birthday. If there's cake, I won't make fun of you.
4 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What can you buy a girlfriend who's angry with you? Hmm... And why am I consulting a cat? Tuna!
5 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
"Dear Ask A Dog."... "Every time I try to throw a stick away, my dumb dog keeps bringing it back. What's up with that?" Signed, "Clueless in Seattle" Dear Clueless, the first rule of training a dog is that you must be smarter
6 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Boredom is a strange thing. It affects people's minds. Here, fishy, fishy... Making them take unnecessary risks...
7 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz and I are pretty serious, Garfield. Do you think it's time I tell her that I l...lu...luh...luh... ...loy...leee...laah...lay...loo... ...LOOOEEEEEEUUUHHHHHHFFF... ...that I like her? Go for it, whirlwind romance boy!
8 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This place looked nicer in the brochure. Tourists.
9 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
! That was close. You can have the rest of that.
10 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Wall... Hole in the wall... MOUSE IN THE HOLE! Cheese in the mouse...mous ein the hole...hole in... clap clap stomp stomp
11 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I want that mouse caught! -and I want it caught NOW! And WHAT are you SMILING at?!
12 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
C'mon, just once! Please! No! Please?! Please?! Please?! All right! All right! Eek, a mouse. That's right! Uh-huh!
13 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Help! I'm being chased by a cet! I sold him my franchise.
14 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ugh. It's too HOT in here to nap. Z
15 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Do you think there's life on other planets, Garfield? Sure. There's gotta be life somewhere.
16 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ah, summer nights... The smell of the neighborhood barbecues... slap slap slap slap slap slap And the sound of Jon flailing ad mosquitos. slap slap slap slap slap I'M BEING EATEN ALIVE!! slap slap slap slap slap slap
17 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SQUIRRT! Let the catsup festival begin! I hate you.
18 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Here, Odie! Here, Garfield! HERE, GARFIELD! Try bribery!
19 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz doesn't like this tie, and she didn't say why... Women! They're enigmas, all right.
20 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Another wild weekend. I know what we can do! Let's get on an elevator, and pretend we're nauseous! Who needs to pretend?
21 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
* ** Okay, okay... * Hold a second... ** Well, THAT'S weird... * My wallet's stuck sideways in my back pock... ** I THINK THE ICE CREAM TRUCK WILL WAIT!
22 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
All done. Did you checl the chemicals? Yep. See you next week. Everyone should have a pool mouse.
23 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Yessiree... There's nothing like floating on an inner tube in the pool. -
24 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Mind sharing the pool? Not at all. You can have the deep end.
25 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Um... Aren't you supposed to be on duty? Nah. I'm on break.
26 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
lap lap lap lap lap
27 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP What happened to the wading pool? Awesome work, Odie!
28 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sigh. Pooky, Liz is nagging me about my weight. Odie won't stop barking. Jon won't stop whining. And you... ...you always know just what to say.
29 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Letter for you, Garfield. Your subscription to "Sloth Magazine" has expired. That's just pitiful. Lick me a stamp.
30 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, you need to be more active. A fit cat is a happy cat. And a quiet vet is a likeable vet.
31 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And with today's thought, Odie! Yip! Concise, to the point, and stupid.
1 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Cats have strong instincts. I sense danger approaching! Diet soda? AAAGH!!
2 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Look what I got for you, Garfield... A little suit to match mine! It wasn't easy, but it did fit up his nose. NARFIELD!
3 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
That's my prom picture. I don't think my date enjoyed the meeting. She ruined her dress tunneling out of the gym. And, no doubt, broke a nail or two.
4 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Tsunami Junction It was a good idea of Jon's to come to a water park. Say, where is he, anyway? I think he went on that big slide... eeeee EEEEEEEEEEE EEEEYAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHHH SPLASH! The "Atomic Wedgie". Can we go home now?
5 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie will now attempt to read his own mind! Nothing is correct!
6 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
How's it going? Has that guy bumped his head? More times than you'd believe...
7 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie will now translate what I say for all you dogs out there. Meow meow meow meow. Arf arf arf arf. Hold on...I didn't say ANYTHING about kissing dog's feet! *
8 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SHOVE bink Odie's lost weight.
9 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
"Dear ask a dog"... "Is there life on the moon?" In the future, please, no questions about the moon. ARRROOOO
10 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
dingle dingle dingle BLARK dingle dingle dingle
11 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hmmm. Liz, do you think I'd look good if I grew a... No. I love you just the way you are! How sweet! * KISS Sigh... How about just a little... No.
12 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I have an eye on you. Can anybody out there spare a life for this man?
13 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well, time to go to work. HAAACK! The hairball biz is brutal.
14 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
How are you today, Odie? Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! He could have just said "yip".
15 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
In the old west, disputes were settled the old-fashioned way... Two cowboys, squared off in the middle of Main Street... In a lively game of tag! I miss the old days of television.
16 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
So, how was work today, Liz? Really! She flossed a gerbil. I hear they are good with hollandaise sauce.
17 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hallo, Liz? Whatcha doin'? I mean OTHER things than answering my nineteenth call asking you want you what you're doing. Get CALLER I.D., girl.
18 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
hmmmmmmmm hmmmmm ploop nnngh clunk Greetings! We are from the planet of tuna-flavored snacks. What have you been up to today? Oh, just saving planet earth, (burp) that's all!
19 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Look! There's Liz! And this would be Mrs. Feeny's yard. Who put this hedge in the road?!
20 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I made you sugar-free cookies... With raisins! Have you always had this dark side?
21 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm convinced Garfield is plotting against me. Does that sound paranoid? Not really. Does so.
22 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Would you like to go out for dinner, Liz? Sure! And by "out to dinner," you mean something other than... ...eating that bag of chips on the front porch, right? She must be psychic!
23 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well, good night, Liz. Good night, Jon. I can't kiss her if you're watching, Garfield. I can stay as long as you like, Liz.
24 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz is everything I could ever want in a girl. I only hope with all my heart and soul that she feels the same way about me. You don't mind me confiding in you like this, do you? Say what?
25 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Jon, let's not go out tonight. Let's just talk. Talk? Sure! We talk on the phone all the time...sometimes for hours! Um...okay. Good. You start. Excuse me for a minute. * beedle beedle beedle So, how was your day? Get back inhere. You've gotta ease into
26 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
My car won't start. So I guess I'll stay home and and do nothing... What's your excuse? Like I didn't see that one coming.
27 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
AAAAROOOOOOO!! Did you hear that? Yeah. That's the call of the stupid.
28 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hail! donk You're not so tough now.
29 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
FWEEEEEET! Stop that! You can't tell me what to do. I have the whistle.
30 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
That's it for tonight, folks! I hope you enjoyed the show! BURN THE FENCE DOWN! Never an encore.
1 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm going to write a love letter to Liz. And great love letters always compare the loved ones to something, what could that be? Well, duh! Lasagna!
2 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF HUUUHHH FOOOOOOF Liz! I finally got the coals started! Pizza's here.
3 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What's new on the menu today, Irma? Oh, a catsup stain, a coffee ring... And I'm not sure what this is... That's quite enough, Irma. Maybe I can pick it off... scratch scratch
4 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, Irma, what does this little heart mean? That means it's good for you. Then what do all these little skulls and crossbones mean? That means it's GOOD!
5 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What's the special today? You don't want to know. Gimme the special! There's a gambler in the house!
6 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Irma, there's something floating in my chicken soup. That's a chunk of chicken. With wings? chickens have wings.
7 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Fred! Hey, buddy! Good to see you! So, Fred, whatcha got for me today, pal? I've named the refrigerator.
8 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I gave Odie a balloon. Annnnnd... Yes, he still has it.
9 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Okay, see you then! Tonight Liz and I are having a "DVD date night"! This week she picks the movie, and I make the popcorn! We'll get comfortable on the couch...pop in the DVD... Turn down the lights...snuggle up tight...and... Kissme, Lucretia!
10 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Okay, here's where you have to slay the dragon. Theis is the part where I always get killed. snick snick snick snick snick snick How did you DO that?! I crosstrain with the channel changer.
11 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Your turn. bleep bloop You have uncovered the SWORD OF DESTRUCTION! You may now smite your enemies! You wouldn't. Where do you want it? Head? Belly? Pride?
12 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I can't believe my CAT beat me at a video game. I mean, what does that say about me? Nothing we didn't already know. Smugness does not become you.
13 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak Give me that toy! squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak
14 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Uh, Jon? Why is Garfield nuzzling my hair? Well, my guess is you used a fruit-scented shampoo this morning. Peach, to be precise.
15 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Always finish what you start. Sounds like good advice. And I don't just mean food. Now I'm confused.
16 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
EEYAAHHHHHHHH EEEK! And that concludes tonight's movie, "Monster Beneath My Bed". click Whew! Z hee hee hee
17 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Want to go running, Garfield? What on earth for?! IS SOMEONE CHASING US?! Never mind. DOES HE HAVE A SPEAR?!
18 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And so we bid farewell to an old friend... * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW... ** The meat loaf is retiring. Speech! Speech!
19 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, look, Odie! A chew toy! Can you explain this? Not without laughing.
20 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
One day Mr. Hot Dog was walking down the street... When suddenly... I hate puppet shows. One day Miss Cupcake was walking down the street...
21 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz is coming over tonight. I want just the right romantic mood. Better tune up my banjo. Whoa, Jonny...back the truck up...
22 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What you're doing is wrong! Wrong, I tell you! That's what I'm going to say if you ever do something. Sounds like a plan.
23 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
TAKE THIS, YOU LOUSE! whap Weird. That's what you get for mulching his scout troop.
24 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And now back to Bachelor Horror Cinema, and "Return Of The Ex-Girlfriend". * ding-dong Don't answer it! Don't answer it! I WANT MY CHAFING DISH BACK!! YAAAHH! I miss the days of three channels.
25 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Gentlemen, if my experiment succeeds, I will rid the world of 12-foot mutant rats forever! Fascinating, professor. What is it you propose to create! Sixty-foot owls! He's gonna need a biiiiig barn.
26 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We're LOST in these woods, Manfred! Noe, now, Babs...calm yourself. There's no need to worry...see? We'll just ask that forest ranger in the hockey mask for directions! Worry, Babs.
27 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What are you eating NOW? Garlic. You never told me you were part vampire.
28 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I rented a scary movie to watch tonight...come on! All right! You know, I can see it just fine from here. How about you? Absolutely.
29 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And now back to "Obsessive-Compulsive Chiller Theater". BUMP Oops. Sorry about your knick-knack shelf, there. YAAAHH The horror.
30 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
-
31 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
-
1 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
"Dogs are stinky". And for an opposing viewpoint, here's Odie. Just as soon as he's done rolling in whatever it is over there.
2 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What'cha doing, Jon? I'm tryiong to read! Any luck? Go away! If you insist.
3 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I carry a picture of Liz wherever I go. How sweet. Insane, but sweet.
4 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The Cat Network presents... "The World's Greatest Hairballs"! What are you watching? Nothing I can't top.
5 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BOOT Uh...nope. CRASH! Someday we'll achieve orbit.
6 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
WHACK! WHACK! It just wouldn't be autumn without our little traditions... WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK
7 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And now tonight's feature... "Earth Versus The Spider" Don't you guys have this on DVD?
8 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, cat, are you ugly for a reason, or were you born that way?! SMACK! You momma's so fat... Give it a rest, Larry.
9 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SMACK! Ha! Missed me! Then how come you're all flat? Uh, Gravity is getting stronger?
10 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
If you squish me, I shall become famous! They will hold an annual day of remembrance in my honor, you fat slob! Does anyone here know WHY we celebrate "National Stupid Day"?
11 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You squash me, and I'll tell my cousin, "Fang"! GEEEEEEE, I'm scared. FANG! hop hop Okay, maybe a touch scared.
12 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's spider-stomping time! It is? STOMP! My watch must be slow.
13 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SCHLAP! ICK! Never jump into a pile of wet leaves. YAAAHH!
14 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm not myself until my first cup of coffee. SLUP Better.
15 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Z I am SO going to get blamed for this.
16 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Someday I will be a tall tree. Someday I will climb you. Somebody just chop me down now!
17 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hello? Do I own a cat? No. Nobody "owns" a cat.
18 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle Could you be more annoying? Scratcha the backa?
19 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I wonder if Odie is up to no good. Dogs are so hard to read.
20 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, wow! Really? So what are you making, mom? Uh huh...turkey...stuffing...mashed potatoes...gravy... Green bean casserole...corn on the cob...potato salad...corn bread... Cranberry sauce...scalloped potatoes...butter rolls...bakedham...potato dumplings..
21 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Kids, remember, crime does not pay! Although it can be pretty tasty.
22 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What are you up to, Garfield? Huh? Who, me? Nothing! You could've let me know she was standing there.
23 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie will now reveal the secret to a happy life. You may prefer to remain unhappy.
24 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The cooking gods are angry with me again. And for your penance, thou shalt order pizza.
25 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm going out with Liz. And I'll be staying home with the ham. What's that in the back seat, Jon? Tomorrow night's dinner.
26 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, this menu is in French! You're holding it upside down. Oh, yeah! Can I still order the beef stew? If you like.
27 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
No...what? You did what? ...ALL of it?! Wow, Liz...that's AMAZING! Good for you! Okay...bye. AAARRRRGGHH! She's finished her Christmas shopping already! You contain your glee well.
28 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Boy, the mall was brutal today. It was so packed, the food court ran out of food. Just like the time you were there. I remember that day fondly.
29 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Look, Mrs. Feeny is making a snowman! No...it's just a giant snowball. Wait...is that a catapult? I'll be in the bomb shelter.
30 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sant knows when you've been bad. Maybe I could cop a plea bargain.
1 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, don't you think you're overdoing the "good boy" routine for Santa? ...Garfield? Your slippers, sir? You're freaking me out.
2 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I got a Christmas card, Garfield. I bet it's from my mother. How do you know that? It's addressed to "Sissy Boy". Maybe it's from your health club.
3 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ow. Impressive. I think I strained my spinner.
4 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
A little to the right... A little to the left... A little more to the left... Okay, now a bit to the right... And jussssst a touch back to the left...little more... Annnnt...THERE! Stop! Perfect! Help. See you in january.
5 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Don't eat those Christmas cookies! They're for company. Should I go out and knock first?
6 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You ate all the Christmas cookies! So did I! So, what are you going to do about it? I'm telling Santa. WAIT! I'M SORRY! I'LL MAKE SOME MORE! I'LL LEARN TO BAKE!
7 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You'd better shape up, buddy boy... Yeah, yeah... Or I'm calling Santa! No, you won't. I cut the phone lines.
8 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Rudolph, won't you guide my sleigh tonight? Get with it, chubs. Use this. Cool! A GPS! I feel old.
9 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Merry Christmas, Jon! I'm giving you the "Box of Mystery"! It's empty. And now you've ruined it!
10 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I look good in red.
11 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
All right, Garfield! That's it! I'm calling Santa! bip bip beep boop bip beep And I'm telling him what you did! You have reached the north pole "naughty line". We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls... Please stay onthe line, and y
12 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
...every Christmas, dad would go out and chop down a tree for us... Not again. Then one year the bark beetles comae. Make it stop. Tinsel on an elk rack just ain't the same. MAybe I should hit him with a yule log.
13 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Have you been working on your Christmas list? Done, and done. I already e-mailed it to Santa. He got through the firewall again, sir. Man, that cat can hack.
14 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
HO! HO! H THONK! "The cristmas they left the flue shut" will return. Little help here! I think they're running out of plots.
15 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What would you like for Christmas, Liz? Oh, I don't know... Surprise me! I'm doomed. No surprise THERE.
16 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Maybe a dress for Liz...but I don't know her size. Think I should ask her? Oh, look. Walnut cheese balls. Smart boy.
17 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SMOOCH Gotcha.
18 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Weeks Ago: Ah! bip bip boop beep boop boop bip I'd like to order a present for my boyfriend... It's the one on page 32... my credit card number is... There! That was easy. Now: Think she'd like a pressure gauge? We're BACHELORS,baby.
19 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Think Liz would like a fish finder for Christmas? Well, excuse me for not thinking like a girl! Funny...you run like one.
20 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I STILL don't know what to get Liz. I think I'll consult with an expert... ...And she's about this tall. SECURITY!
21 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz, I'm really stuck on your Christmas present. You've got to give me a hint! I like pink. Does that help? She likes pink.That narrows it to the grapefruit family...
22 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Maybe Liz would like some perfume. "Eau de Wowie-Wow-Wow" Sounds potent. "May cause excessive drooling in men."
23 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
"Mucho macho musk ox mist for men". "Guaranteed to drive women insane". spritz spritz Kiss me, or I'll punch your lights out! By golly it works!
24 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Merry Christmas, Liz. Oh, Jon! A music box! It plays the "Be My Lederhosen Baby" polka! Uh...wow. See? The little ballerina has an accordion! I have a friend who can bury that for you.
25 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sigh The day after Christmas is always so quiet and peaceful... And the excitement has died down... All the presents have been unwrapped... All the carols have been sung... All the cookies have been scarfed... WAAAAAAAHHHH
26 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
So what does an elf like you do with the rest of your year? I spend it working on my game. And that would be? Miniature golf. Bah-da bum.
27 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz is gonna LOVE my new sweater! tug tug pull pull How do I look? Electrifying.
28 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
New hats! Saaame weirdo.
29 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Just look at me. What do I have to show for myself? Me!
30 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Look, Garfield! Mr. Barrow has his gorilla suit on! Now he's climbing up the side of his house. Here comes the banana dance. I'll watch just this once.
31 December 2010

Garfield's Birthday | New Year's Eve | New Year's Day | X-max Eve | X-mas Day