garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well, Garfield, we survived another holiday season. - Now all we have to do is survive another year. - Or just today. Have I told you how much I enjoy these little pep talks?
1 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'd like to forget the bad times. - The ceiling needs mopping. - But it's hard to keep up.
2 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - - - - GAAAAAAAA - The first and last annual meeting of the Polar Bear Club will now come to order. AAAA AAHH HHHH HHHH
3 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
There's only one way to get ahead in this world. - Sponge off someone else! - Hard work. Whoa, there are TWO ways?!
4 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You know that loose board on the porch? - I finally nailed it back down! I heard. - Let's see what's next on my list. Screams like that really carry.
5 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Arlene, you look nice today. - Why, thank you, Garfield, so do you. - Don't you know it! Aaand the moment has passed.
6 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - This is one of my favorite spots. You don't say.
7 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The living room is OFF LIMITS tonight, guys. Liz and I are watching TV. - But we don't WANNA watch TV. - We wanna watch you and Liz. wink wink
8 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Donuts are bad for you, you know. - - And I love it when you're bad.
9 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Okay, let's see... - No. - No. - No. - Now, that looks nice! But this is just my blue shirt with a necktie! - You look very handsome. - I will NEVER understand women. Like that's a requirement.
10 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
pat pat pat - Mrs. Feeny is o the phone. She's fast -
11 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - Some people just don't look so good after they diet.
12 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's Supergarfield. - And his trusty sidekick, Odieboy! - Hey, Odieboy, that's MY superpower! Z
13 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's not easy being a crime fighter around here. - Because there isn't any crime. - Except what Odieboy did to the rug last thursday.
14 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Come, Odieboy! Time to do battle with our enemies! - Actually, those pzzas weren't REALLY our enemies. - Wait. I spoke too son.
15 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odieboy is being held captive! - By his archrival... - The LEASH!
16 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
B-BLL SNORT PHHHT HONK FRRT FRRRT FRRRT I dread the weeks Jon's Club meets here.
17 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well, the polar ice caps are melting. - So? - From now on, I set the thermostat! Oh, sure! Blame me!
18 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Beware Of Dog - Thrills Galore! - You Must Be This Tall To be Bitten -->
19 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You know...my life isn't perfect... - All you do is sleep! - ...regardless of what others think.
20 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Donut Shop - Where should we go on our next vacation, Garfield? Funny you should ask!...
21 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We can get a lot from books. - For instance... - I'm now taller!
22 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
dingle dingle BOINK - Uh-oh. - Nothing good can come from this.
23 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - - - GARFIELD! WAKE UP! - IT'S SNOWING! -
24 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I will NEVER understand crossword puzzles. - - That's sudoku, you dip. What's a three-letter word for "five"?
25 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- 8 - I'll do my OWN Sudoku, thank you!
26 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Doing the Sudoku puzzle? Yeah. I've been working on it all day. - I finished mine while I ate breakfast. -
27 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- -
28 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
erase erase erase erase Sigh... - I may have figured out what "Sudoku" means... - I think it's Japanese for AAAARRRGGHHH!! Hey, that was in my crossword puzzle!
29 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, this is my life. - Cleaning up cat hair. - How sad is that? Now, about my litter box...
30 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Hide me! - I just escaped from the zoo! - And you are? Duh! The king of the jungle! - With THAT hair? What's wrong with it? - Oh, where to start... - And you are? Furious with my stylist. You beast.
31 January 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Who wants to scratch me behind the ears? - - Ah! A volunteer!
1 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield! - GARFIELD! - Didn't you hear me calling you? I assumed you were shouting my name for the sheer pleasure of it.
2 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I have a headache. - You have a head? - Please! Don't make me think! Sorry.
3 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Jon! I missed you! - - Now I miss missing you.
4 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Let's do something. Like what? - Something fun! No way! - You know how I hate trying new thinga.
5 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Maybe Jon would treat me nicer... - If I treated HIM nicer. - Or, I could just fake an injury. You okay, pal?
6 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
then you need Honko's Chain Mail Body Sock! Wow! - Jon should get one. GAAAHHH! MY THUMB!!!
7 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SLAM! - THAT was a short date. - Liz sent me home to change. My eyes!
8 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
click - send - How about that? Burn the jacket!
9 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
There's no WAY you can't like THIS suit! - - Is this a genetic thing? No, it's seersucker. Tiddy boom.
10 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Okay, I'm ready to go out! NO plaid. - How about now? NO tie-dye. - I told you, NO ugly ANYTHING. Poof! There went the whole wardrobe!
11 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey! Here's a clean shirt! - I don't know why I've never worn this one... - SPOOT!
12 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz thinks I have no fashion sense. - Well, I'll show her! - Where's my paisley ascot? I'd better close the drapes.
13 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Chez EATS - I bet Garfield was a cute kitten. Oh, he was... - Wanna see a picture? - You keep a picture of your cat as a kitten...in your wallet? Sure! - - SMOOOOOCH - I owe you one, Garfield. Lips that touch vets shall never touch mine!
14 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sorry I'm late! - I lost track of the time! - I will not dignify that comment with a response. "Lost track of time"...get it?
15 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Welcome to our humble home! - - And boooooooy, is this place humble.
16 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's good to be alive! - I agree. - Not great..."good".
17 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You know what the world needs more of? - Frosting? - Niceness. With frosting on it!
18 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I've been awake for 72 hours! - - Not in a row, mind you, but that's still a lot!
19 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ever want want anything you know you can't have, Garfield? Yup. - -like morality? Nope. - -like fame? Like 25 hours of sleep every day!
20 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Beware Of The Dog - Pick a card...any card...go ahead! - Don't tell me! Don't tell me! - It's the three of clubs! Nope. - Yes, it is! No, it isn't. - BARK! BARK! BARK! I knew this would turn ugly.
21 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Level one: YAAAAHH! - Level one: EEEEEEK! Level one: AIIIIYYYEE! Level one: GAAAHHH! - How's the video game going?
22 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Here we go... Level one: - YAAAAGGHH! - Impressive graphics. It says you're supposed to reattach your head and try again.
23 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You must save the princess. Choose your character. BOOP - "Sir Whines-A-Lot"?! That's the one I always choose! - I want to be Sir Whines-A-Lot!! Talk about your type-casting.
24 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
O.L., you have a choice here...you can either squish my guy, or take the chest full of gold coins! - sQUISH! - Why? Money isn't everything.
25 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Congratulations! You saved the princess! -
26 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Congratilations! You saved the princess! -
27 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
hear you, man. - I feel the same way about cheese puffs.
28 February 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, Garfield! - Read the shirt, bozo. Do Not Disturb - I'm fine, thanks for asking!
1 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Here comes the future! - Here it is! - Gee, it was a lot like the past.
2 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Oh, no! SLAP Coming Soon To This Site: Nature - Am I the only one concerned about the plight of our nation's mini malls?
3 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What? - Tell me what I've done. - Because I'd like to do it again!
4 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This stealing food stuff has got to stop. Understood? Understood. - Okay, give me a hug. - That is one ugly photo I.D. Hey!
5 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm making big plans for the future, Garfield! - - For starters, I'm hoping to get a pen with ink in it. Whoa, getting a little ambitious there, aren't we?
6 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!
7 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's as if a dark curtain has been lifted from over my soul... - My life has MEANING again! - New batteries in the TV remote. - Can I get a HALLELUJAH!!! click click click click click
8 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We now return to "World's Worst-Dressed" - - Cool SUIT! Sigh.
9 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Act now! - click - Fast enough for you, pal?
10 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
A spokesman for the company stated that, "it just vanished completely". - Authorities admit that this just may have been "the perfect crime". - There's an ice cream truck parked in the garage. You saw nothing.
11 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, Terrence, tell me that you love me! - Terrence?...Terrence?... I'm WATCHING the GAME! - oooooWEEEE THERE'S a novel new place to park the remote.
12 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Cat Theater presents: "Romeo and Juliet" - HACK! CRASH! - Hark, what hairball through yonder window breaks? - Man, that Shakespeare guy could really write!
13 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
So, Liz... - Did you always want to be a vet? Oh, yeah... - Ever since I was a little girl. - I just love helping animals... - Their love is so unconditional. - - I'll purr for a donut.
14 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, you lack ambition... - and personality... - and self-control, and tact, and comparison, adn... We may be here for a while.
15 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Every name means something, Garfield. - I'm looking mine up. - "Jon...he who gets beat up for his lunch money". Now that's just scary.
16 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - Then he started kicking me!
17 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
"Cat Owner's Survey...question one" - "Does your cat clean himself?" - Check. Where's the moisturizing, volumizing, detangling conditioner?
18 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Bark. - Is that it? - Did I leave something out? No, no. I guess the magic is gone....
19 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Is MY donut good, Garfield? - Enjoying MY donut, are you? Look. - An unguarded donut is MY donut.
20 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Checkaroon! - ...and that cats are so gullible, they can't figure out I'm just making this up... Che...wait a minut. - Oh, look. It says that cats can't take a joke.
21 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Shouldn't you be barking at me? - Name? Garfield. - You're not on the list. Come on! I'm a VERY happening cat!
22 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oom bah bah oom bah bah - Oom bah bah ree bop! I was expecting to be barked at. - Can I, just once, try something a little different?! I prefer the classics.
23 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BARK! BARK! HAR... - Oh, my throat! - Time for a nice cup of tea with a little honey. And don't forget the twist of lemon, you big sissy!
24 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
My brother does most of the barking around here. Oooh, I'm so afraid. - BARK! BARK! - By any chance, is one of you adopted?
25 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You aren't so tough. - Oh, what a terrible thing to say! - Boo hoo hoo! Oookaaayy, you're tough.
26 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Beware Of The Dog - Or Not - Z Okay Don't Like they needed a sign...
27 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Hi there. Who's that? - I am nature. I am the sky. - I am the mountain. - I am the ocean. - Pretty impressive, huh? Uh-huh. - If you can't be a cat.
28 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm here to help. - - See how much less we're getting done as a team?
29 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Something it seems like... - I'm just going through the motions... BOOT! CRASH - And then pick Odie lands on Jon's toothpick Eiffel tower and it all seems worthwile again!
30 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- I think the coffee's a little strong today. - It doesn't need a cup.
31 March 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
A new day dawns! - The sun is shining! - It must be grocery shopping day. I started the car for you!
1 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Farmers' Market - Farmers' Market - Farmers' ****** That's all that's left.
2 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I miss out on a lot of things. - I'm going to brush my upper teeths with one toothpaste, and my lower teeth with another toothpaste! - But not nearly enough things.
3 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Garfield, LOOK! What? - TWANG yoing yoing yoing yoing - WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! - Jon, LOOK! - Yeah, riiiiiiight. - How stupid do you think I am?
4 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
That's me the knight of the homecoming place. - I was too nervous to ask any girls at school, so I took my cousin... - Cliff was a lousy dancer. Lovely corsage.
5 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Why do I smell peanut butter cookies? I'll check it out. - Yes? - Lucky for us, she baked a double batch.
6 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You disgusting pig! - - I wouldn't take that. He was talking to YOU.
7 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Why must everything go right? - I mean wrong! See? I can't even gat THAT wrong! - I MEAN RIGHT! For those of you keeping track, two wrongs made a right.
8 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This is hour twenty of the Cat Benefit Telethon. - Let's check the tote board... - Eleven cents! Like cats care.
9 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Life is constantly changing. - Then by definition... - This must not be life.
10 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - - - - - We're home now, stupid.
11 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You never show me any gratitude. - SLAP Good job, pal. - OW! And that's the thanks I get?!
12 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
HOP HOP HOP - HOP HOP - I shrank my underwear in the dryer. Do that funny walk again!
13 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I washed the car with my favorite old T-shirt today. - It felt like I had insulted it. - How does one apologize to a t-shirt? Usually in front of a therapist.
14 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I CAN'T throw this t-shirt away, Liz! I've had it for years! - Garfield, help me out her! - beep. The shirt, please.
15 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz just doesn't understand how a guy FEELS about his favorite t-shirt. - You understand, don't you, old buddy? - beep. WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!!
16 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield! Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon. - - Why are you staring at me like that? You owe me three "Garfields".
17 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Hi, Grafield. Hi, Arlene. - How was your dinner? Lousy. - Jon burned the pot roast, the gravy was lumpy and the brussels sprouts were soggy. How was yours? - I ate a rat. - - Mint?
18 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm writing a profile of myself for my blog. - Of course I had to pad it a bit to make myself sound more brainy. - "Can count backward from 100"? Chicks dig smarts.
19 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Jon's Blog: Today my cat viciously attacked and devoured my precious pet goldfish. - Who knew that my cat was capable of such an evil and unspeakable deed? - I do have a NAME, you know. SMACK!
20 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I haven't had a single hit on my blog. - You'd think people would be interested in what I have to say! - Well, they WOULD! Is it sunny in Jonland today?
21 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Today a lady at a Chinese restaurant sneezed on me. - ...what was up with that?! - My blog is getting edgier! There's a snow pea on your shirt.
22 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Nobody ever visits my blog...it's too dull. - I guess no one wants to read about an ordinary guy and his cat. - Time to make stuff up! Give me an eye patch and a goatee!
23 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
My new call phone has a areally cool ringtone. - - Want me to play it? It's the only way we're ever going to hear it.
24 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
companies and a crowbar to get me loose. I'm lucky to be alive. - - What happened to my muffin? I ate it, Vac-Boy. Where's the paper?
25 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Have some tuna-flavored things. - You know what else is tuna flavored? - TUNA!
26 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- -
27 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- BURP - You're disgusting. And we're out of soda.
28 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Have you seen my brother? - Where'd you last see him? Right where you are now. - Fomeone geth fiss mard mall moff me! Found 'im.
29 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I hear you're a real tough cat. - But you don't scare me. - AYIEEEEE!!
30 April 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie! Somebody's at the door! - YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! - Huh? It's you, Einstein!
1 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
bag. - I told her my boyfriend is a cartoonist. - - Dad? C'mon, Betty, don't hog the bag.
2 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Why don't we stay in tonight, and have a candlelight dinner for... - - ...TWO. Bye now.
3 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I had a dream about Liz last night. Oh, me too. - She told me she loved me. She told me she loved me, too. - It was very romantic. And then I ate a wooly mammoth.
4 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Cheer up, Pooky... - Here, I have just the thing... - Better.
5 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz's eyes are so beautiful... - More beautiful than mine? flutter flutter flutter - You're strange. Why do I even bother to keep myself up?
6 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - I am NOT embarrassing to be seen with. - The bag doesn't lie.
7 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie, here are the rules for today. - No barking, running, panting, or slobbering. - In other words, today you're a cat.
8 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
strings! Shut up, Herman.
9 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The tuna noodle casserole just burst into flames. - - I'll hose it down, and you get the catsup. We're bachelors, baby.
10 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odd looking ball of yarn. - - That spaghetti was for dinner!
11 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oiling the floor keeps me from having to walk. - Pretty clever, huh? - THUD!
12 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Me - Me - "Me"? I'm a big fan.
13 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Mr. Mayor! The giant radioactive snail is approaching the city! - How long have we got, general? - Six, seven months, at least. I think I can squeeze in a snack.
14 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
My poor fish! Never to return! - BURP! - How about a cameo appearance?
15 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
vitamin-ridden evildoers, wherever they may lurk... - ...and vanquish each and every one of them with my mighty rush of sugary goodness... - What's with the tiny cape? Too hard to digest...
16 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hold on, you're breaking up... - That's a little better... - Perfect! Ah, technology!
17 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- New headset. - Geek chic.
18 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This texting stuff is hard. - I think my thumbs are too fat. - How do you tone your thumbs? Channel changer crunches, my man!
19 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We've had enough of your bullying ways, fatso! - Strength in numbers! - Yeah! Now I know how Gulliver felt.
20 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
click - - Now THERE'S a good-lokkin' uvula! We have to date tonight.
21 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You know, Garfield, I don't care how lazy you are... - I accept you for who you are. - Accept me two steps to the left...you're blocking my view of the TV.
22 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hello? - Yes, I'd like to order a pizza... - With canaries. - Goldfish. - And extra catnip. - You don't have tose toppings? - Told ya! What if we supply the ingredients?
23 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
These were taken when my mom and dad were dating. - He took her out every saturday night. - Here they are on their way to town. I've never seen airbags in a buckboard.
24 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ah, the boring life... - Quick! Garfield! I need a belt, a fishbowl, and a fire extinguisher!! - I sure miss it.
25 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, hi, Arlene. - Do you ever think about me, Garfield? Whenever I'm not thinking about me. - So that's a "no". Oh, hi, Arlene.
26 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Toothbrushes can't swim. - I have a bad feeling.
27 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I forgive you for yelling at me, Jon. - Which you'll be doing shortly. - CLAW CLAW CLAW GARFIELD!
28 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I AM sick, you know! - Would it kill you to show a little compassion?! - There, there.
29 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
counting the minutes"... - - SHE LOVES ME! Let's go back to "did you feed the cat?"
30 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ice cream truck! ding ding - - There's nothing left but that little bell.
31 May 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
*** - You are the worst songbird ever. - Not my arrangements, man!
1 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I like to plan big! - And do you know why? - So you can fail big? That's your smart remark expression.
2 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
R-R-R-R-R-R zzzzzz - SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP - zzzzzzzz That was exciting! My turn! zzzzzzzz
3 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ow. - Trying to figure life out makes my head hurt. - Try having NINE of them to figure out, pal.
4 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well? - Jon, I believe your coffee has crossed that fine line from freshly brewed... - To roofing tar.
5 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sigh... - It's my birthday. - And nobody remembered. - Happy birthday! - Did you get me a present? No. - Are you throwing me a party? No. - Still, it's nice to be remembered.
6 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Echo Point - Echo Point - Well? Made you go first!
7 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- 'night, Jon. - Tomorrow's breakfast.
8 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I think you should have a nickname, Garfield. - Let's see, what could it be?... - How about "Lord Of Lard"? I like it.
9 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
An empty cat food bowl. - The world's saddest sight. - And in second place, ladies and gentlemen...
10 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What would it be like if cats ruled the world? - - "If"?!
11 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ol' Shecky was a fun fish. I'll sur emiss him. - I guess it's true what they say... - "Never eat the entertainment".
12 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield... - What kind of birthday cake would you like this year, Garfield? - Glad you asked. - - - - I've never seen a blueprint for a cake before. And this is the electrical schematic.
13 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Birthdays are about more than just cake and ice cream, you know. - - Okay, so they're not. You crazy kidder, you.
14 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I may be getting older, but at least I have nine lives. - Well, eight anyway. - Stupid fuzzy bologna.
15 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I don't know why you're so upset about another birthday... - Growing older is just a natural part of life! - Just like ear hair and wheezing! You can go now.
16 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What would you like for your birthday this year? - A cake? - Oh, a BIG cake.
17 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - Are you done licking the bowl? These things take time.
18 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Make a wish! Like THAT ever works. - DING-DONG - Happy birthday, Garfield! I stand corrected.
19 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- This is going to be the best day ever! - THUD! - LEt's say second best. - BZZZZT! - Still top ten. - BAP! I'm going back to bed. This is going to be the best day ever!
20 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, if you ever got out of bed... - The world would probably end. - No need for panic, world.
21 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
zzzzzzz - PLOP! zzzzzz - They're learning.
22 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I am king of the house! - And I'm going to shred the drapes now. - Your majesty.
23 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm on the hunt. - Cats are savy trackers. - That french fry tells ma a hamburger is in the area.
24 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
* - Good news. One of our neighbors now has a Koi pond. - BURP Are you the guy with the cat?
25 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz! - Mmm! KISS KISS SMOOCH - KISS KISS Mwah! That poor picture!
26 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
zzzzz - SWISH zzzzzz - swish swish swish swish zzzz - scree - SMACK! - SPLOT! SWACK! - I'm going to... Hold still!
27 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, no! We're out of kitty treats! - Oh, wait... - I spoke too soon! Somebody go shopping!
28 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - The buffet needs refreshing.
29 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- For Rent - About the empty fishbowl... Do you have references?
30 June 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- PRETTY PROUD OF YOURSELF, AREN'T YOU? - foo
1 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You can't hurt ME, pal...I'm a PUFFER fish! fffffff - - phhhhhhhhhhtttttttt
2 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You can't change the past. - True. - That's why they invented lying.
3 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, Garfield! - Check out this drawing I did of a pig! - - I think I really captured its porkness... scribble scribble scribble - - - Pigs don't have wings! They will before you can outdraw me, pablo.
4 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Advice What can I do to stop being such a loser? - Hang on... - Ask that question again. Miracles
5 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- BURP! BURP! - We spend too much time together. You're preaching to the choir.
6 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Frankly, I don't know how you can eat cat food. - Like this. - Let me know if you need the mystery of the roast beef sandwich cleared up.
7 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - Camping IS fun.
8 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Oh, Garfield... - There's a cat treat in my purse for you. What? - I can't hear you.
9 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I would appreciate it if you treated Liz like a member of the family. - Okay... - But I thought you wanted me to be nice to her.
10 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Do fetch me my screaming jacket, would you, poopsie? Drawing room horror.
11 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ha! Ha! Ha! - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! - Sorry I'm late. I was busy laughing at the "Beware Of Dog" sign. rrrr
12 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
There's something I should be doing, but I can't think of it. - Bark at me? - Not now! Can't you seen I'm trying to remember something? Ho boy.
13 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'd like to warm up with a few growls before I get to the barking. - Ahem. - Grr! Grr! Grr! Shouldn't you have done this before I got here?
14 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BARK! - Man, that was loid! - Where's that volume knob? You're miked!
15 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - DING Ooh, goody! My blueberry muffins are ready! - They don't make VICIOUS like they used to.
16 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! - MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! - There, how do YOU like it? Don't give up the day job.
17 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
ARE SO WHITE NOW, I BLIND ONCOMING TRAFFIC!!! - Now back to our program. Help!
18 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - Sometimes it seems like there isn't enough time in the day to not do all the things that need not doing.
19 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
This is certainly a pleasant... - - ...day.
20 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
dingle dingle dingle - That sounds like the bell from the "Happy Ice Cream" truck! - But where is the "Happy Ice Cream" man? Reinflating his happy tires.
21 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm not going to bark at you. What? - Sob! You don't hate me anymore! - I hate you. Oh, you're just saying that!
22 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
When I'm in a mood to have fun, anything can happen! - - Except fun.
23 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- claw claw claw - GARFIELD! It's summer, you should thank me.
24 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Okay, Liz... - How about this? No WAY are you going out in public wearing that. - I want a second opinion! Fine. - - BWA HA HA HA HA HA - You guys are in cahoots! Just put it in the "ick" pile. I'll call the hazmat disposal squad.
25 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Where should we put our stuff? Anywhere is fine. - How about there, close to the wa- - waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa They call him "Jonny Suave"
26 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Excuse me, is that your girlfriend? Yes. - KICK - Hi, I'm Rolf. HI, I'm get lost. And I'm with Mr. Sand Face, there.
27 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The NERVE of that big guy...kicking sand in your face! I should have punched him out! - WAH-HAHAHA! - ...I mean, yeah!
28 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
C'mon, Jon, stop moping about that bully. I should have defended your honor! - Jon...I don't want a big, strong man... - I want YOU. Really? They deserve each other.
29 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line, and...
30 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Let's see...next on my "To-do" list... - NOOGA! NOOGA! NOOGA! - Okay, that's done. I hate that list.
31 July 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - - - - Did you meet my great white guppy? We met. Nice guy. I'll be moving now...
1 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Nothing lasts forever. - Oh, I wouldn't say that. - Take today, for instance.
2 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
RIIIING! - Meow - Right here will be fine, thank you.
3 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - It's my birthday. If there's cake, I won't make fun of you.
4 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What can you buy a girlfriend who's angry with you? - Hmm... - And why am I consulting a cat? Tuna!
5 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
dog...and I have some bad news for you...
6 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Boredom is a strange thing. - It affects people's minds. - Here, fishy, fishy... - Making them take unnecessary risks...
7 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz and I are pretty serious, Garfield. - Do you think it's time I tell her that I l...lu...luh...luh... - ...loy...leee...laah...lay...loo... - ...LOOOEEEEEEUUUHHHHHHFFF... - - ...that I like her? Go for it, whirlwind romance boy!
8 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- This place looked nicer in the brochure. - Tourists.
9 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
! - - That was close. You can have the rest of that.
10 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Wall... - Hole in the wall... - MOUSE IN THE HOLE! Cheese in the mouse...mous ein the hole...hole in... clap clap stomp stomp
11 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I want that mouse caught! - -and I want it caught NOW! - And WHAT are you SMILING at?!
12 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
C'mon, just once! Please! No! - Please?! Please?! Please?! All right! All right! - Eek, a mouse. That's right! Uh-huh!
13 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Help! - I'm being chased by a cet! - I sold him my franchise.
14 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - Ugh. - It's too HOT in here to nap. - - - Z
15 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Do you think there's life on other planets, Garfield? - Sure. - There's gotta be life somewhere.
16 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Ah, summer nights... - The smell of the neighborhood barbecues... slap slap slap slap slap slap - And the sound of Jon flailing ad mosquitos. slap slap slap slap slap I'M BEING EATEN ALIVE!! slap slap slap slap slap slap
17 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- SQUIRRT! - Let the catsup festival begin! I hate you.
18 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Here, Odie! - Here, Garfield! - HERE, GARFIELD! Try bribery!
19 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz doesn't like this tie, and she didn't say why... - - Women! They're enigmas, all right.
20 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Another wild weekend. - I know what we can do! - Let's get on an elevator, and pretend we're nauseous! Who needs to pretend?
21 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
* - ** Okay, okay... - * Hold a second... - ** Well, THAT'S weird... - * My wallet's stuck sideways in my back pock... - ** I THINK THE ICE CREAM TRUCK WILL WAIT!
22 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
All done. - Did you checl the chemicals? - Yep. See you next week. - Everyone should have a pool mouse.
23 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Yessiree... - There's nothing like floating on an inner tube in the pool. -
24 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Mind sharing the pool? - Not at all. - You can have the deep end.
25 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Um... - Aren't you supposed to be on duty? Nah. - I'm on break.
26 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - lap lap lap lap lap
27 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP - LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP LAP - What happened to the wading pool? Awesome work, Odie!
28 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sigh. - Pooky, Liz is nagging me about my weight. - Odie won't stop barking. - Jon won't stop whining. - And you... - - ...you always know just what to say.
29 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Letter for you, Garfield. - Your subscription to "Sloth Magazine" has expired. - That's just pitiful. Lick me a stamp.
30 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, you need to be more active. - A fit cat is a happy cat. - And a quiet vet is a likeable vet.
31 August 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And with today's thought, Odie! - Yip! - Concise, to the point, and stupid.
1 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Cats have strong instincts. - I sense danger approaching! - Diet soda? AAAGH!!
2 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Look what I got for you, Garfield... - A little suit to match mine! - It wasn't easy, but it did fit up his nose. NARFIELD!
3 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
That's my prom picture. - I don't think my date enjoyed the meeting. - She ruined her dress tunneling out of the gym. And, no doubt, broke a nail or two.
4 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Tsunami Junction - It was a good idea of Jon's to come to a water park. - Say, where is he, anyway? I think he went on that big slide... - eeeee EEEEEEEEEEE - EEEEYAAAAAAAAAA - AAAAAHHHHHHH SPLASH! - The "Atomic Wedgie". Can we go home now?
5 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie will now attempt to read his own mind! - - Nothing is correct!
6 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
How's it going? - - Has that guy bumped his head? More times than you'd believe...
7 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie will now translate what I say for all you dogs out there. - Meow meow meow meow. Arf arf arf arf. - Hold on...I didn't say ANYTHING about kissing dog's feet! *
8 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SHOVE - bink - Odie's lost weight.
9 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
"Dear ask a dog"... - "Is there life on the moon?" - In the future, please, no questions about the moon. ARRROOOO
10 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
dingle dingle dingle - BLARK - dingle dingle dingle
11 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hmmm. - Liz, do you think I'd look good if I grew a... No. - I love you just the way you are! - How sweet! - * KISS - Sigh... - How about just a little... No.
12 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I have an eye on you. - - Can anybody out there spare a life for this man?
13 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well, time to go to work. - HAAACK! - The hairball biz is brutal.
14 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
How are you today, Odie? - Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! - He could have just said "yip".
15 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
In the old west, disputes were settled the old-fashioned way... - Two cowboys, squared off in the middle of Main Street... - In a lively game of tag! I miss the old days of television.
16 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
So, how was work today, Liz? - Really! - She flossed a gerbil. I hear they are good with hollandaise sauce.
17 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hallo, Liz? - Whatcha doin'? - I mean OTHER things than answering my nineteenth call asking you want you what you're doing. Get CALLER I.D., girl.
18 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- hmmmmmmmm - hmmmmm ploop - nnngh clunk - Greetings! - We are from the planet of tuna-flavored snacks. - What have you been up to today? Oh, just saving planet earth, (burp) that's all!
19 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Look! There's Liz! - And this would be Mrs. Feeny's yard. Who put this hedge in the road?!
20 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I made you sugar-free cookies... - With raisins! - Have you always had this dark side?
21 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm convinced Garfield is plotting against me. - Does that sound paranoid? - Not really. Does so.
22 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Would you like to go out for dinner, Liz? Sure! - And by "out to dinner," you mean something other than... - ...eating that bag of chips on the front porch, right? She must be psychic!
23 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Well, good night, Liz. Good night, Jon. - - I can't kiss her if you're watching, Garfield. I can stay as long as you like, Liz.
24 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz is everything I could ever want in a girl. - I only hope with all my heart and soul that she feels the same way about me. - You don't mind me confiding in you like this, do you? Say what?
25 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
here. You've gotta ease into these things.
26 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
My car won't start. - So I guess I'll stay home and and do nothing... - What's your excuse? Like I didn't see that one coming.
27 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
AAAAROOOOOOO!! - Did you hear that? Yeah. - That's the call of the stupid.
28 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hail! - donk - You're not so tough now.
29 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- FWEEEEEET! - Stop that! You can't tell me what to do. I have the whistle.
30 September 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
That's it for tonight, folks! - I hope you enjoyed the show! - BURN THE FENCE DOWN! Never an encore.
1 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm going to write a love letter to Liz. - And great love letters always compare the loved ones to something, what could that be? - Well, duh! Lasagna!
2 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF - FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF - HUUUHHH - FOOOOOOF - Liz! I finally got the coals started! Pizza's here.
3 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What's new on the menu today, Irma? Oh, a catsup stain, a coffee ring... - And I'm not sure what this is... - That's quite enough, Irma. Maybe I can pick it off... scratch scratch
4 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, Irma, what does this little heart mean? - That means it's good for you. - Then what do all these little skulls and crossbones mean? That means it's GOOD!
5 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What's the special today? - You don't want to know. - Gimme the special! There's a gambler in the house!
6 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Irma, there's something floating in my chicken soup. - That's a chunk of chicken. - With wings? chickens have wings.
7 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Fred! Hey, buddy! Good to see you! - So, Fred, whatcha got for me today, pal? - I've named the refrigerator.
8 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I gave Odie a balloon. - Annnnnd... - Yes, he still has it.
9 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
me, Lucretia! SNIF SNORE - I am toast! Are you going to finish that popcorn?
10 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Okay, here's where you have to slay the dragon. Theis is the part where I always get killed. - snick snick snick snick snick snick - How did you DO that?! I crosstrain with the channel changer.
11 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Your turn. bleep bloop - You have uncovered the SWORD OF DESTRUCTION! You may now smite your enemies! - You wouldn't. Where do you want it? Head? Belly? Pride?
12 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I can't believe my CAT beat me at a video game. - I mean, what does that say about me? - Nothing we didn't already know. Smugness does not become you.
13 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak - squeak squeak squeak squeak Give me that toy! squeak squeak - squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak
14 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Uh, Jon? - Why is Garfield nuzzling my hair? - Well, my guess is you used a fruit-scented shampoo this morning. Peach, to be precise.
15 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Always finish what you start. - Sounds like good advice. - And I don't just mean food. Now I'm confused.
16 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
EEYAAHHHHHHHH EEEK! - And that concludes tonight's movie, "Monster Beneath My Bed". click - Whew! - - - - Z hee hee hee
17 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Want to go running, Garfield? What on earth for?! - IS SOMEONE CHASING US?! - Never mind. DOES HE HAVE A SPEAR?!
18 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And so we bid farewell to an old friend... - * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW... ** - The meat loaf is retiring. Speech! Speech!
19 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, look, Odie! - A chew toy! - Can you explain this? Not without laughing.
20 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
One day Mr. Hot Dog was walking down the street... - When suddenly... - I hate puppet shows. One day Miss Cupcake was walking down the street...
21 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz is coming over tonight. - I want just the right romantic mood. - Better tune up my banjo. Whoa, Jonny...back the truck up...
22 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What you're doing is wrong! - Wrong, I tell you! - That's what I'm going to say if you ever do something. Sounds like a plan.
23 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - - - TAKE THIS, YOU LOUSE! - whap - Weird. That's what you get for mulching his scout troop.
24 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And now back to Bachelor Horror Cinema, and "Return Of The Ex-Girlfriend". - * ding-dong Don't answer it! Don't answer it! - I WANT MY CHAFING DISH BACK!! YAAAHH! I miss the days of three channels.
25 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Gentlemen, if my experiment succeeds, I will rid the world of 12-foot mutant rats forever! - Fascinating, professor. What is it you propose to create! - Sixty-foot owls! He's gonna need a biiiiig barn.
26 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
We're LOST in these woods, Manfred! Noe, now, Babs...calm yourself. - There's no need to worry...see? - We'll just ask that forest ranger in the hockey mask for directions! Worry, Babs.
27 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What are you eating NOW? - Garlic. - You never told me you were part vampire.
28 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I rented a scary movie to watch tonight...come on! All right! - - You know, I can see it just fine from here. How about you? Absolutely.
29 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And now back to "Obsessive-Compulsive Chiller Theater". - BUMP Oops. - Sorry about your knick-knack shelf, there. YAAAHH The horror.
30 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - - - - -
31 October 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- -
1 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
"Dogs are stinky". - And for an opposing viewpoint, here's Odie. - Just as soon as he's done rolling in whatever it is over there.
2 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What'cha doing, Jon? I'm tryiong to read! - Any luck? Go away! - If you insist.
3 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I carry a picture of Liz wherever I go. - How sweet. - Insane, but sweet.
4 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
The Cat Network presents... - "The World's Greatest Hairballs"! - What are you watching? Nothing I can't top.
5 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
BOOT - Uh...nope. - CRASH! Someday we'll achieve orbit.
6 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - WHACK! - - WHACK! - - It just wouldn't be autumn without our little traditions... WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK
7 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
And now tonight's feature... - "Earth Versus The Spider" - Don't you guys have this on DVD?
8 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, cat, are you ugly for a reason, or were you born that way?! - SMACK! - You momma's so fat... Give it a rest, Larry.
9 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
SMACK! - Ha! Missed me! - Then how come you're all flat? Uh, Gravity is getting stronger?
10 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
If you squish me, I shall become famous! - They will hold an annual day of remembrance in my honor, you fat slob! - Does anyone here know WHY we celebrate "National Stupid Day"?
11 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You squash me, and I'll tell my cousin, "Fang"! - GEEEEEEE, I'm scared. FANG! - hop hop Okay, maybe a touch scared.
12 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
It's spider-stomping time! It is? - STOMP! - My watch must be slow.
13 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - - - SCHLAP! - ICK! - Never jump into a pile of wet leaves. YAAAHH!
14 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm not myself until my first cup of coffee. - SLUP - Better.
15 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Z - I am SO going to get blamed for this.
16 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Someday I will be a tall tree. - Someday I will climb you. - Somebody just chop me down now!
17 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hello? - Do I own a cat? - No. Nobody "owns" a cat.
18 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle - shuffle shuffle shuffle - Could you be more annoying? Scratcha the backa?
19 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I wonder if Odie is up to no good. - - Dogs are so hard to read.
20 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
ham...potato dumplings... - Fruit salad...winter squash...potato and ham soup...twice-baked potatos...potato pancakes... - Pecan pie...pumpkin pie...sweet potato pie... - HEY! THOSE ARE MY CAr KEYS! Come with me or take the bus, pal.
21 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Kids, remember, crime does not pay! - - Although it can be pretty tasty.
22 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What are you up to, Garfield? - Huh? Who, me? Nothing! - You could've let me know she was standing there.
23 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Odie will now reveal the secret to a happy life. - - You may prefer to remain unhappy.
24 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - The cooking gods are angry with me again. And for your penance, thou shalt order pizza.
25 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I'm going out with Liz. - And I'll be staying home with the ham. - What's that in the back seat, Jon? Tomorrow night's dinner.
26 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Hey, this menu is in French! You're holding it upside down. - Oh, yeah! - Can I still order the beef stew? If you like.
27 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
No...what? - You did what? ...ALL of it?! - Wow, Liz...that's AMAZING! Good for you! - Okay...bye. - - AAARRRRGGHH! - She's finished her Christmas shopping already! You contain your glee well.
28 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Boy, the mall was brutal today. - It was so packed, the food court ran out of food. - Just like the time you were there. I remember that day fondly.
29 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Look, Mrs. Feeny is making a snowman! - No...it's just a giant snowball. - Wait...is that a catapult? I'll be in the bomb shelter.
30 November 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sant knows when you've been bad. - - Maybe I could cop a plea bargain.
1 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Garfield, don't you think you're overdoing the "good boy" routine for Santa? - ...Garfield? - Your slippers, sir? You're freaking me out.
2 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I got a Christmas card, Garfield. - I bet it's from my mother. How do you know that? - It's addressed to "Sissy Boy". Maybe it's from your health club.
3 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- Ow. - Impressive. I think I strained my spinner.
4 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
A little to the right... - A little to the left... - A little more to the left... - Okay, now a bit to the right... - And jussssst a touch back to the left...little more... - Annnnt...THERE! Stop! - Perfect! Help. See you in january.
5 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Don't eat those Christmas cookies! - They're for company. - Should I go out and knock first?
6 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You ate all the Christmas cookies! So did I! - So, what are you going to do about it? - I'm telling Santa. WAIT! I'M SORRY! I'LL MAKE SOME MORE! I'LL LEARN TO BAKE!
7 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
You'd better shape up, buddy boy... Yeah, yeah... - Or I'm calling Santa! No, you won't. - I cut the phone lines.
8 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Rudolph, won't you guide my sleigh tonight? - Get with it, chubs. Use this. - Cool! A GPS! I feel old.
9 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Merry Christmas, Jon! - I'm giving you the "Box of Mystery"! - It's empty. And now you've ruined it!
10 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- - I look good in red.
11 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
the line, and your call will be answered in the order it was received. - FAH-LAH-LA-LA-LAAAH-LA-L With any luck, he'll be on hold till january.
12 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
...every Christmas, dad would go out and chop down a tree for us... Not again. - Then one year the bark beetles comae. Make it stop. - Tinsel on an elk rack just ain't the same. MAybe I should hit him with a yule log.
13 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Have you been working on your Christmas list? Done, and done. - I already e-mailed it to Santa. - He got through the firewall again, sir. Man, that cat can hack.
14 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
HO! HO! H- - THONK! - "The cristmas they left the flue shut" will return. Little help here! I think they're running out of plots.
15 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
What would you like for Christmas, Liz? Oh, I don't know... - Surprise me! - I'm doomed. No surprise THERE.
16 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Maybe a dress for Liz...but I don't know her size. Think I should ask her? - - Oh, look. Walnut cheese balls. Smart boy.
17 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- SMOOCH - Gotcha.
18 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
baby.
19 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Think Liz would like a fish finder for Christmas? - - Well, excuse me for not thinking like a girl! Funny...you run like one.
20 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
I STILL don't know what to get Liz. - I think I'll consult with an expert... - ...And she's about this tall. SECURITY!
21 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz, I'm really stuck on your Christmas present. - You've got to give me a hint! I like pink. - Does that help? She likes pink.That narrows it to the grapefruit family...
22 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Maybe Liz would like some perfume. - "Eau de Wowie-Wow-Wow" - Sounds potent. "May cause excessive drooling in men."
23 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
"Mucho macho musk ox mist for men". - "Guaranteed to drive women insane". spritz spritz - Kiss me, or I'll punch your lights out! By golly it works!
24 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Merry Christmas, Liz. Oh, Jon! A music box! - It plays the "Be My Lederhosen Baby" polka! Uh...wow. - See? The little ballerina has an accordion! I have a friend who can bury that for you.
25 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Sigh - The day after Christmas is always so quiet and peaceful... - And the excitement has died down... - All the presents have been unwrapped... - All the carols have been sung... - All the cookies have been scarfed... - WAAAAAAAHHHH
26 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
So what does an elf like you do with the rest of your year? - I spend it working on my game. And that would be? - Miniature golf. Bah-da bum.
27 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Liz is gonna LOVE my new sweater! - tug tug pull pull - How do I look? Electrifying.
28 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
- New hats! - Saaame weirdo.
29 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Just look at me. What do I have to show for myself? - - Me!
30 December 2010

		» 1 January 2010 »
Look, Garfield! Mr. Barrow has his gorilla suit on! - Now he's climbing up the side of his house. - Here comes the banana dance. I'll watch just this once.
31 December 2010

Garfield's Birthday | New Year's Eve | New Year's Day | X-max Eve | X-mas Day