That's it for tonight, folks! I hope you enjoyed the show! BURN THE FENCE DOWN! Never an encore.
1 October 2010
I'm going to write a love letter to Liz. And great love letters always compare the loved ones to something, what could that be? Well, duh! Lasagna!
2 October 2010
FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF HUUUHHH FOOOOOOF Liz! I finally got the coals started! Pizza's here.
3 October 2010
What's new on the menu today, Irma? Oh, a catsup stain, a coffee ring... And I'm not sure what this is... That's quite enough, Irma. Maybe I can pick it off... scratch scratch
4 October 2010
Hey, Irma, what does this little heart mean? That means it's good for you. Then what do all these little skulls and crossbones mean? That means it's GOOD!
5 October 2010
What's the special today? You don't want to know. Gimme the special! There's a gambler in the house!
6 October 2010
Irma, there's something floating in my chicken soup. That's a chunk of chicken. With wings? chickens have wings.
7 October 2010
Fred! Hey, buddy! Good to see you! So, Fred, whatcha got for me today, pal? I've named the refrigerator.
8 October 2010
I gave Odie a balloon. Annnnnd... Yes, he still has it.
9 October 2010
Okay, see you then! Tonight Liz and I are having a "DVD date night"! This week she picks the movie, and I make the popcorn! We'll get comfortable on the couch...pop in the DVD... Turn down the lights...snuggle up tight...and... Kissme, Lucretia!
10 October 2010
Okay, here's where you have to slay the dragon. Theis is the part where I always get killed. snick snick snick snick snick snick How did you DO that?! I crosstrain with the channel changer.
11 October 2010
Your turn. bleep bloop You have uncovered the SWORD OF DESTRUCTION! You may now smite your enemies! You wouldn't. Where do you want it? Head? Belly? Pride?
12 October 2010
I can't believe my CAT beat me at a video game. I mean, what does that say about me? Nothing we didn't already know. Smugness does not become you.
13 October 2010
squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak Give me that toy! squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak
14 October 2010
Uh, Jon? Why is Garfield nuzzling my hair? Well, my guess is you used a fruit-scented shampoo this morning. Peach, to be precise.
15 October 2010
Always finish what you start. Sounds like good advice. And I don't just mean food. Now I'm confused.
16 October 2010
EEYAAHHHHHHHH EEEK! And that concludes tonight's movie, "Monster Beneath My Bed". click Whew! Z hee hee hee
17 October 2010
Want to go running, Garfield? What on earth for?! IS SOMEONE CHASING US?! Never mind. DOES HE HAVE A SPEAR?!
18 October 2010
And so we bid farewell to an old friend... * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW... ** The meat loaf is retiring. Speech! Speech!
19 October 2010
Hey, look, Odie! A chew toy! Can you explain this? Not without laughing.
20 October 2010
One day Mr. Hot Dog was walking down the street... When suddenly... I hate puppet shows. One day Miss Cupcake was walking down the street...
21 October 2010
Liz is coming over tonight. I want just the right romantic mood. Better tune up my banjo. Whoa, Jonny...back the truck up...
22 October 2010
What you're doing is wrong! Wrong, I tell you! That's what I'm going to say if you ever do something. Sounds like a plan.
23 October 2010
TAKE THIS, YOU LOUSE! whap Weird. That's what you get for mulching his scout troop.
24 October 2010
And now back to Bachelor Horror Cinema, and "Return Of The Ex-Girlfriend". * ding-dong Don't answer it! Don't answer it! I WANT MY CHAFING DISH BACK!! YAAAHH! I miss the days of three channels.
25 October 2010
Gentlemen, if my experiment succeeds, I will rid the world of 12-foot mutant rats forever! Fascinating, professor. What is it you propose to create! Sixty-foot owls! He's gonna need a biiiiig barn.
26 October 2010
We're LOST in these woods, Manfred! Noe, now, Babs...calm yourself. There's no need to worry...see? We'll just ask that forest ranger in the hockey mask for directions! Worry, Babs.
27 October 2010
What are you eating NOW? Garlic. You never told me you were part vampire.
28 October 2010
I rented a scary movie to watch tonight...come on! All right! You know, I can see it just fine from here. How about you? Absolutely.
29 October 2010
And now back to "Obsessive-Compulsive Chiller Theater". BUMP Oops. Sorry about your knick-knack shelf, there. YAAAHH The horror.
30 October 2010
31 October 2010