That's it for tonight, folks! - I hope you enjoyed the show! - BURN THE FENCE DOWN! Never an encore.
1 October 2010
I'm going to write a love letter to Liz. - And great love letters always compare the loved ones to something, what could that be? - Well, duh! Lasagna!
2 October 2010
- - FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF - FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF FOOF - HUUUHHH - FOOOOOOF - Liz! I finally got the coals started! Pizza's here.
3 October 2010
What's new on the menu today, Irma? Oh, a catsup stain, a coffee ring... - And I'm not sure what this is... - That's quite enough, Irma. Maybe I can pick it off... scratch scratch
4 October 2010
Hey, Irma, what does this little heart mean? - That means it's good for you. - Then what do all these little skulls and crossbones mean? That means it's GOOD!
5 October 2010
What's the special today? - You don't want to know. - Gimme the special! There's a gambler in the house!
6 October 2010
Irma, there's something floating in my chicken soup. - That's a chunk of chicken. - With wings? chickens have wings.
7 October 2010
Fred! Hey, buddy! Good to see you! - So, Fred, whatcha got for me today, pal? - I've named the refrigerator.
8 October 2010
I gave Odie a balloon. - Annnnnd... - Yes, he still has it.
9 October 2010
Okay, see you then! - Tonight Liz and I are having a "DVD date night"! - This week she picks the movie, and I make the popcorn! - We'll get comfortable on the couch...pop in the DVD... - Turn down the lights...snuggle up tight...and... - Kiss
10 October 2010
Okay, here's where you have to slay the dragon. Theis is the part where I always get killed. - snick snick snick snick snick snick - How did you DO that?! I crosstrain with the channel changer.
11 October 2010
Your turn. bleep bloop - You have uncovered the SWORD OF DESTRUCTION! You may now smite your enemies! - You wouldn't. Where do you want it? Head? Belly? Pride?
12 October 2010
I can't believe my CAT beat me at a video game. - I mean, what does that say about me? - Nothing we didn't already know. Smugness does not become you.
13 October 2010
squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak - squeak squeak squeak squeak Give me that toy! squeak squeak - squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak
14 October 2010
Uh, Jon? - Why is Garfield nuzzling my hair? - Well, my guess is you used a fruit-scented shampoo this morning. Peach, to be precise.
15 October 2010
Always finish what you start. - Sounds like good advice. - And I don't just mean food. Now I'm confused.
16 October 2010
EEYAAHHHHHHHH EEEK! - And that concludes tonight's movie, "Monster Beneath My Bed". click - Whew! - - - - Z hee hee hee
17 October 2010
Want to go running, Garfield? What on earth for?! - IS SOMEONE CHASING US?! - Never mind. DOES HE HAVE A SPEAR?!
18 October 2010
And so we bid farewell to an old friend... - * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW... ** - The meat loaf is retiring. Speech! Speech!
19 October 2010
Hey, look, Odie! - A chew toy! - Can you explain this? Not without laughing.
20 October 2010
One day Mr. Hot Dog was walking down the street... - When suddenly... - I hate puppet shows. One day Miss Cupcake was walking down the street...
21 October 2010
Liz is coming over tonight. - I want just the right romantic mood. - Better tune up my banjo. Whoa, Jonny...back the truck up...
22 October 2010
What you're doing is wrong! - Wrong, I tell you! - That's what I'm going to say if you ever do something. Sounds like a plan.
23 October 2010
- - - - TAKE THIS, YOU LOUSE! - whap - Weird. That's what you get for mulching his scout troop.
24 October 2010
And now back to Bachelor Horror Cinema, and "Return Of The Ex-Girlfriend". - * ding-dong Don't answer it! Don't answer it! - I WANT MY CHAFING DISH BACK!! YAAAHH! I miss the days of three channels.
25 October 2010
Gentlemen, if my experiment succeeds, I will rid the world of 12-foot mutant rats forever! - Fascinating, professor. What is it you propose to create! - Sixty-foot owls! He's gonna need a biiiiig barn.
26 October 2010
We're LOST in these woods, Manfred! Noe, now, Babs...calm yourself. - There's no need to worry...see? - We'll just ask that forest ranger in the hockey mask for directions! Worry, Babs.
27 October 2010
What are you eating NOW? - Garlic. - You never told me you were part vampire.
28 October 2010
I rented a scary movie to watch tonight...come on! All right! - - You know, I can see it just fine from here. How about you? Absolutely.
29 October 2010
And now back to "Obsessive-Compulsive Chiller Theater". - BUMP Oops. - Sorry about your knick-knack shelf, there. YAAAHH The horror.
30 October 2010
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31 October 2010