A new day dawns! The sun is shining! It must be grocery shopping day. I started the car for you!
1 April 2010
Farmers' Market Farmers' Market Farmers' ****** That's all that's left.
2 April 2010
I miss out on a lot of things. I'm going to brush my upper teeths with one toothpaste, and my lower teeth with another toothpaste! But not nearly enough things.
3 April 2010
Garfield, LOOK! What? TWANG yoing yoing yoing yoing WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Jon, LOOK! Yeah, riiiiiiight. How stupid do you think I am?
4 April 2010
That's me the knight of the homecoming place. I was too nervous to ask any girls at school, so I took my cousin... Cliff was a lousy dancer. Lovely corsage.
5 April 2010
Why do I smell peanut butter cookies? I'll check it out. Yes? Lucky for us, she baked a double batch.
6 April 2010
You disgusting pig! I wouldn't take that. He was talking to YOU.
7 April 2010
Why must everything go right? I mean wrong! See? I can't even gat THAT wrong! I MEAN RIGHT! For those of you keeping track, two wrongs made a right.
8 April 2010
This is hour twenty of the Cat Benefit Telethon. Let's check the tote board... Eleven cents! Like cats care.
9 April 2010
Life is constantly changing. Then by definition... This must not be life.
10 April 2010
We're home now, stupid.
11 April 2010
You never show me any gratitude. SLAP Good job, pal. OW! And that's the thanks I get?!
12 April 2010
HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP I shrank my underwear in the dryer. Do that funny walk again!
13 April 2010
I washed the car with my favorite old T-shirt today. It felt like I had insulted it. How does one apologize to a t-shirt? Usually in front of a therapist.
14 April 2010
I CAN'T throw this t-shirt away, Liz! I've had it for years! Garfield, help me out her! beep. The shirt, please.
15 April 2010
Liz just doesn't understand how a guy FEELS about his favorite t-shirt. You understand, don't you, old buddy? beep. WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!!
16 April 2010
Garfield! Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon. Why are you staring at me like that? You owe me three "Garfields".
17 April 2010
Hi, Grafield. Hi, Arlene. How was your dinner? Lousy. Jon burned the pot roast, the gravy was lumpy and the brussels sprouts were soggy. How was yours? I ate a rat. Mint?
18 April 2010
I'm writing a profile of myself for my blog. Of course I had to pad it a bit to make myself sound more brainy. "Can count backward from 100"? Chicks dig smarts.
19 April 2010
Jon's Blog: Today my cat viciously attacked and devoured my precious pet goldfish. Who knew that my cat was capable of such an evil and unspeakable deed? I do have a NAME, you know. SMACK!
20 April 2010
I haven't had a single hit on my blog. You'd think people would be interested in what I have to say! Well, they WOULD! Is it sunny in Jonland today?
21 April 2010
Today a lady at a Chinese restaurant sneezed on me. ...what was up with *that*?! My blog is getting edgier! There's a snow pea on your shirt.
22 April 2010
Nobody ever visits my blog...it's too dull. I guess no one wants to read about an ordinary guy and his cat. Time to make stuff up! Give me an eye patch and a goatee!
23 April 2010
My new call phone has a areally cool ringtone. Want me to play it? It's the only way we're ever going to hear it.
24 April 2010
SLAM! You wouldn't believe what happened to me! I went out to get the paper, and my robe got caught on a passing street sweeper. I swept five neighborhoods with my FACE before I could get the driver's attention. It took three firecompanies and a crowbar t
25 April 2010
Have some tuna-flavored things. You know what else is tuna flavored? TUNA!
26 April 2010
27 April 2010
BURP You're disgusting. And we're out of soda.
28 April 2010
Have you seen my brother? Where'd you last see him? Right where you are now. Fomeone geth fiss mard mall moff me! Found 'im.
29 April 2010
I hear you're a real tough cat. But you don't scare me. AYIEEEEE!!
30 April 2010