Ahem... That's MY chair. Que? GET UP RIGHT NOW! No hablo English, Senor Seatless. All right, if you won't let me have the chair... The LEAST you could do is SHARE it with me. Oh, very well... You're blocking the set.
Garfield, Liz may be that special "one". Sure, she may tell lame jokes and her nostrils twitch when she's angry, but she may still be the "one". The "one" is right behind you, big mouth, and her nostrils are twitching.
Welcome to "How to Train Your Cat". Let's start with th basics, shall we? C'mon over here, Muffin. Muffin...c'mon, kitty. Heeere, kitty, kitty...heer-no, Muffin, this way...this way... Someone's being trained alright, and it ain'tMuffin...
Hmmm... I'm reading an article about cats and the stress they can cause. snatch RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP What article? What stress? A soothing sense of calm just came over my being.
Jon, we're going to be late! I'm ready! You are NOT going out in those pants. No, no parachute pants, either. I don't think so. Uhhhh...no. Over my dead body. Where does he GET these clothes? There was a sale at Clown Town.
A lady at the restaurant tonight told Liz and me we "make a lovely couple"! Buuuut?... But then I stepped on her foot, she screamed, and her dentures shot out and lodged in the busboy's neck. There's always a "but".
What a nice day at the beach, Garfield. Even Jon is enjoying himself. Poor guy...he's usually a walking disaster area. Where is he with those hot dogs, anyway? SEAGULLS! I'm not gonna look. Good thinking.
Hey, that's great! OK, see you in a few! Liz is bringing over dinner tonight! ...and she made LAGASNA! Yep...she should be coming through that door any minute now! ** DING DONG It's open! Jon? Jon who?
Z Sigh... I'm bored. I know! Let's walk down the street and have a parade! I'll be the grand marshal, and you can be a float! People will line the street, cheering and throwing flowers! SMACK! I'm bored again. Welcome back.
click ...GIVE MY CREATURE *LIFE*!!! ZZZZZIT! ZZZZZOT! LIFE, I SAY...*LIFE*!!! ZZZZZZIT! ZZZZZZOT! ZZZZZZAT! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!! I'LL GET UP ALREADY!!! STOP WITH THE JOY BUZZER, MOM!!! Lazy teenage monsters.
bip boop boop beep bip What do you feel like for dinner tonight, Liz? How about Italian? No? Chinese, then? How does pizza sound? Or we could just do big greasy burgers. Oh, and we may have to bring the cat. "May"? There is no"may".
To: sclaus@nor Dear Santa, I have been a very good cat all year long. You can't fool Santa, you know. He knows if you've been good OR bad. And he's watching you all the time. Although perhaps you've seen my evil twin.