garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Z - Z Z
1 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- What a lovely night. All the stars are out. - - click! - Now back to "Yodeling wit the Stars"! - Garfield? -
2 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Well, I'm going to go hibernate now. - You're going to go WHAT? - Why am I just now hearing about hibernation?
3 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
We are only given a certain amount of time on earth. - Some choose to live life to the fullest. - Hi! I'm Moo-Moo! And some of us watch "Sock Puppet Friends".
4 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I hate change. - I didn't used to... - But I've changed.
5 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- You rock! - It's nice to know I'm here for me.
6 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I don't have a worry in the world. - - I gave them away.
7 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Life is full of surprises. - - Well, maybe not FULL. Maybe some of them leaked out.
8 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - STOMP! HA! - - - - Wake me for the vernal equinox.
9 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
You're fat. It's true! I'm fat! - There's more of me to love! - I've done MY part!
10 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Swallow breakfast before you eat lunch. - Oh man... - Who makes up all these rule?!
11 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
It's diet time, Garfield. - What?! - Come on...continents sink into the ocean all the time!
12 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Liz thinks I should put you on low-calorie cat food. - ROAAARR - LIZ thinks! NOT me! Easy there, big fella!
13 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Who wants a salad?! - - Thank goodness no one was hurt in the stampede. That's his little attempt at sarcasm.
14 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Gosh, I hope nobody eaty my new houseplant. - - Hey! This is a SALAD!
15 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- hmmmmm - POOMP - Greetings, eartling. - Take me to ypur leader. - And make it snappy! - This intergalactic incident wil not go unreported.
16 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Vegetables are very healthy. - - Cough. AHA!
17 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Can you hide me? Could this be a nightmare? - -and eleven of my sugar-glazed friends? Oh, no! It IS a nightmare! - THERE'S NO COFFEE! BWAH Ha! Ha! Ha!
18 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
You know, Garfield, donuts are bad for you. - - Shame on them.
19 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - He looks just like you. I think so.
20 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- PLOP - Were there any witnesses?
21 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Whoa! This sweater is much warmer than feathers! - - Although it's not so good for flying!
22 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Echo Point - Meow! - Meow! - Meow! Meow! - I wonder how that works. I wonder how that works.
23 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
And that's the news... - Well, most of it. - I skipped a couple of stories with words I couldn't pronounce. I always wondered about that.
24 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Sir, I suspect that this may have been MURDER! Murder, you say?! - Yes, sir...look at the piano. The piano? - Um...the one sitting on the body? Ohhh, THAT piano. Inspector Oblivious of Scotland Yard.
25 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
...K-K-K-K-K... BZZT! POK POK POK - You are watching the scrambled-image, static, and vertically flipping picture channel. Ah! - You can cancel the service call.
26 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Welcome to the show! - I hope you're ready to be kind of dazzled... - By the SORT-OF-AMAZING IRVING! Not one of your better magicians.
27 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Someday insects will rule the earth. - - Now what? Going with th flow, slave boy.
28 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Welcome the the all-act game show, "What Did Muffy Kill?" - Okay panel, before your questions, you'll get one clue from Muffy, and here it is... - HACK! Blue jay! Gotta be!
29 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
This way, guys! Z - Hi! Who are you? - We're twelve little donuts who've lost our way... - Could you direct us back to the land of yummy pastries? Why don't I just eat you instead? - You try it, buster, and I'll call our big brother! Go
30 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Dinosaurs ruled the earth. Z - And now they're gone. - Wow! That WAS a long nap.
31 January 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Are you sleeping? - No. - I'm too busy answering stupid questions!
1 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Beware Of Dog You need to look a little more menacing. - -
2 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
GAAAHH! Here w go again... - OH, THE HUMANITY!! Happens every week. - I HATE THIS!!! If you'd clean my litter box every day, it wouldn't be so bad!
3 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Liz, you're wonderful. - Don't you agree, Garfield? Yes! - She keeps candy in her purse!
4 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm sick of the daily routine, Garfield. - Wake up, eat breakfast, go outside... - Somebody throws a rock... I'm not moving...
5 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - - boing boing boing - boing boing boing boing boing boing - ROWR - Momma didn't raise no bounce house.
6 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Liz is different from all the other girls I've known. - - For one thing, she LIKES me. Weird, isn't it?
7 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
What can I do to impress Liz? - Bake your cat a cake! - You're no help. I know I'D be impressed.
8 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm composing a song for Liz. - It's a tender love ballad. - Sort of a polka-banjo thing. I'll be out back, burying your finger-picks.
9 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hi, Jon, it's me. Hi, Liz! - What are you doing? Oh, nothing much... - It's laundry day here. Not a day for the fait of heart.
10 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
What are you wearing to the restaurant tonight? - You're going to wear thaaaat?... - Well, then, I guess I'm not. The fashion police have a new sheriff.
11 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Urf - - Don't fall in love, Odie. You already act stupid enough.
12 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - Staring contest! - - - blink - You lose.
13 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield wanted to come with us tonight. Are you sure he didn't? - Huh? Isn't that him riding the dessert cart? - Mine! All mine! Not if I don't turn and look.
14 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Boy, that Liz is a good kisser. - Really good. - Reeeeeally good... And the cat waltzes right out of his comfort zone.
15 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I love the old country songs, Garfield. - They were so poignant. - This one's called "Times were hard, so we ate the cat". So that's what poignant means.
16 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm wearing a new cologne. - Eau de Bacon. - You bit me! And I'm as disappointed as you are.
17 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG - Subtlety is for weenies.
18 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Some day, huh? - I slept through 90 percent of it... - So I'll guess "yes"?
19 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Ahem... - That's MY chair. Que? - GET UP RIGHT NOW! No hablo English, Senor Seatless. - All right, if you won't let me have the chair... - The LEAST you could do is SHARE it with me. Oh, very well... - You're blocking the set.
20 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Beware, cat! - My breed of fish is poisonous, and I can make you violently ill! - My breed of stomach can eat 12 burritos bigger than my head. I'm toast.
21 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
...then I walked across the street. And then... - You're boring me here, fatso. Get to the point! - Can do.
22 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - You ate my goldfish, didn't you? He went to my happy place.
23 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - If it makes you feel any better, that goldfish didn't taste nearly as good as I thought it would.
24 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
"See the happy little goldfish". - "Swimming merrily in his little bowl". - "See the evin cat..." Finally, the good part!
25 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I can't hold my breath any longer! - GASP! - Fish breathe! Sorry. Nice move, guppy gills.
26 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - - BARK - - - I've had better days. yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank
27 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Nothing is wrong. - Nothing, nothing, nothing... - Oh, THERE you are. Miss me?
28 February 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I love nature. - Well, this PICTURE of nature. - Always sunny, with no ice storms.
1 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
My ear itches, Garfield. - Maybe an insect crawled in there! - AND IT'S EATING MY BRAIN! Poor little guy's gonna starve...
2 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
"Dear Ask A Dog"... - "Is it true you became man's best friend by bribing somebody?" signed, "A cat sitting next to you". - Oh, look, he kept the receipt.
3 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
There's me in the chess club...there's me in the latin club... - There's me in the science club...there me in the calculus club... - There's me, stag, at the junior prom. Go figure.
4 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield, Liz may be that special "one". - Sure, she may tell lame jokes and her nostrils twitch when she's angry, but she may still be the "one". - The "one" is right behind you, big mouth, and her nostrils are twitching.
5 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Huh. - Liz says I don't share my feelings. - She says that's important in a relationship. - Perhaps I am being a callous pig. - Maybe I should try harder at this. - - I love you, man. Bring back the pig,...man.
6 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Think we should order tonight? - - THAT was a stupid question. Ah-ah-ahhh... -there ARE no stupid questions!
7 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Is your pizza sauce thick? - I mean REALLY thick? - He says we could pave our driveway with it. CAN we?!
8 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
...do we want hot peppers on our pizza? - - Duh.
9 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Pepperoni, with extra onions...how many onions? - WAAAHHHH - Make it cry. Like a baby for a night breeding.
10 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
What are you watching on the computer? - Is that the one we ordered? Yep. - Pizza cam.
11 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Cold pizza and orange juice. - I could just cry. - This is the best breakfast he's ever fixed.
12 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - - - - TWANG yang yang yang yang - The first robin of spring is a little early this year.
13 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
It's party time! - Woo hoo! - Are you still here? Sorry to be such a drag...
14 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
The xcitement of the day is building. - - Slooooowly.
15 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - Someday the world will thank me for inventing sponge shoes.
16 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
It's chilly in here. - Would you mind knitting me into a sweater? - Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha, ha, ha. Good one.
17 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm afraid I might not be good enough for Liz. - Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, come on, Jon! - "MIGHT"?!
18 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Ah, this tree should provide ample cover. - - Eventually...
19 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
drip - drip drip drip - drip drip drip drip - drip drip drip drip - CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CREEEEEEAK... - CRASH - Well, that's one way to plug a leak.
20 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Ah, spring... - I love spr... - I hate spring.
21 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Ah, nature! - Fresh air! Get yer fresh air here! - Is nothing sacred? You want mustard with that air?
22 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I've programmed my phone so that each caller has their own ring. - GRAAAAK! GRAAAAK! - Ah, the screeching harpy. Mrs. Feeny on line one.
23 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm very sorry...yes...goodbye. - - About Mrs. Feeny's lawn gnome... First of all, he started it.
24 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Bug spray! - Aaahh... - Irish linen. Or air freshener.
25 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Breakfast. ZIP - ZIP - Uh, I'll let you know when it's time for lunch. That's why you exist, pal.
26 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Uh-oh. - Bad news, Garfield. I burned the eggplant casserole. - - - - - Don't take it so hard. It's all part of the grieving process.
27 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - You really haven't been paying attention to your life, have you?
28 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Welcome to "How to Train Your Cat". - Let's start with th basics, shall we? C'mon over here, Muffin. - Muffin...c'mon, kitty. Heeere, kitty, kitty...heer-no, Muffin, this way...this way... Someone's being trained alright, and it ain't
29 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I won't say Jon is a bad housekeeper... - And I won't say this house is dirty... - But I have to wipe my feet before I go OUTSIDE.
30 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
* RIIING I bet that's Liz! - Jon's love shack...lip-lock Arbuckle speking. - Fine, Mrs. Feeny, and you? Blow her a kiss from me, lip-lock.
31 March 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hello? - No, sir, I do not have an unusually large head. - Is that you, Doc Boy?! His brother gets bored.
1 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Danger is my life! - Ha-HAAA! - You shouldn't eat ice cream so fast. Ask me if I care.
2 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Get back! Go away, you stupid mutt! - - - boop beep beep boop beep boop boop - * beedle beedle beedle beedle - SLURP!
3 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Let's see...did I remember to shed today? - - Check.
4 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
There's cat hair everywhere! Don't be jumping to conclusions there, pal. - Yelp! - Odie sheds, too.
5 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Uh-oh. - You forgot to keep moving while you were shedding, didn't you? Help me!
6 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm sweating like a pig. - - Ah! Much better! I envy you.
7 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
This Property Valiantly Protected by a Savage, Bloodthirsty, White-Hot Ball of Canine Fury. - - Who writes your stuff? Wouldn't you like to know...
8 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Geez... Will eat homework for food. - How low will dogs sink? - To here, I guess. Iced Toilet Water 5c
9 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hmmm... - I'm reading an article about cats and the stress they can cause. - snatch - RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP - What article? - What stress? - A soothing sense of calm just came over my being.
10 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - Up, please.
11 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
YAWN - You look tired. - It's comforting to know I've got the right look.
12 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
They say love is blind. - - Love is also an idiot.
13 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
The sun. The wind. - The rain. - Have you been outside lately? Fascinating theories...
14 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
And now "The Feline Gourmet" with your host, chef Snuggles. - Hi, and welcome! Today, my owner is out for the afternoon... - So we'll be whipping up a hardy guppy goulash! That's one nervous-looking fish.
15 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Scrapbooking, stamp collecting, needle-point... - I try to avoid hobbies. - It's sort of a hobby of mine.
16 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Jon, we're going to be late! I'm ready! - You are NOT going out in those pants. - No, no parachute pants, either. - I don't think so. - Uhhhh...no. - Over my dead body. - Where does he GET these clothes? There was a sale at Clown Town.
17 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Thank you! Thank you for your applause! CLAP CLAP CLAP - I was swatting a bug. - Thank you for swatting a bug!
18 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Welcome to the show! - - This is where you applaud. Oh, we thought this is where you entertain!
19 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I need a volunteer from the audience! - - Heck, I need an audience.
20 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
You've been a great audience! No, we haven't. - Have so. Have not. - Then we'll just agree to disagree. Okay.
21 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I am at peace with the world. - YAWM - Or sleepy. They're a lot alike.
22 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm feeling down. - Then put a smile on that face, Mr. Mopey Pants! - Do you know there's a sock on the roof? I believe I do.
23 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- SPLOP! - SOOOO-EEEY! PIG-PIG-PIG-PIG! - - GLOMP! - - MMMMFFFFF!!
24 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - How was the kite flying? The kite had a better time than I did.
25 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
They say there are some big fish in this lake. - - How big?!
26 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Oh, no! We're going to crash! - NO TIME TO REACT! LOOK OUT! AYIEEE! - I'd call a turtle ambulance, but that could take weeks. Ow.
27 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! zzzzzzzzzzzzz - Ulp - That fly died a hero.
28 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
A lady at the restaurant tonight told Liz and me we "make a lovely couple"! - Buuuut?... - But then I stepped on her foot, she screamed, and her dentures shot out and lodged in the busboy's neck. There's always a "but".
29 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hello, Bark-Bark! Hi, Moo-Moo! - I sang a song today, Bark-Bark! - Was it a happy song, Moo-Moo? I wonder if sock puppets are flammable?
30 April 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
* doo-dooo dee-dee dum doo-dooo... - * ooh-ooh-oooooohhh baby bay-bee.. - UH-HUH-UH-HUH - * BLANG-A TWANND-YANG!! - CHA-CHONK, CHA-CHONK - - PLAY AGAIN?
1 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I need to be more creative. Red flag, red flag. - You know, I used to paint when I was in college. Barns don't count. - I bet I've still got a masterpiece in me! I think we're out of black velvet.
2 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Should I paint a portrait...or a still life? - - Or both. Your muse is not amused.
3 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
How about a real dynamic pose? - - I guess that IS pretty dynamic for you. Hurry up, I can't hold this forever.
4 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Give me a "Mona Lisa" smile. - - Mona Lisa din't smile like that! You never caught her at a Willie Nelson concert.
5 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
What are you painting, Jon? Garfield. - It needs more orange. - There isn't enough orange in the WORLD. - I've always thought so.
6 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
...there! - I think I've captured your essence. Let's see. -
7 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- * - - WAH-HA! HA! HA! - tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic send - WAH-HA! HA! HA! - tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic
8 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I really overslept today. - It's almost time to go back to bed. - Maybe I can fit in a quick nap.
9 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Busy day. Don't I know it! - It seems like the harder I work, the behinder I get. One of the other cats called in sick. - Are you listening to me? So I had to take two naps AT THE SAME TIME!
10 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Let's take a look at the news. - Oh, that's just AWFUL! - Let's look at something else. That can't be good.
11 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
COMING SOON TO THIS SITE: - AN EVEN BIGGER SIGN! - Can't stop progress.
12 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
There's an antique doll show downtown. Well, let's GO, then! - I'll get my coat! - You really need to stop me when I do that. Say hi to Betsy Wetsy for me.
13 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
"Dear Ask Dog"... - "My dog will stare at a spot on the wall that he thinks is a bug, but it isn't, for hours. Is he stupid?" Signed, "Just wondering". - Odie? Odie?
14 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
GAAAAHHH! - Oh, no! I've burned the toast! You FOOL! How COULD you?! - And the light bulb in the refrigerator burned out!! We're all DOOMED! - And I can't find the TV remote!!! It's the end of the world as we know it!! - THERE'S A DRINK ON
15 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Oh, look! Odie has come to rescue me from this tree! - - Well, he did SOMETHING involving this tree.
16 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Oh, no! - Kids with kites! -
17 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Well, well, well. Uh-oh. - I wonder who's ticklish? I have money.
18 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
In case of emergency, break glass - CRACK - Yoo-hoo...up here.
19 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
This day couldn't get much worse. - DING DING * Ice creamman! - Okay, that's just evil.
20 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Nothing good can come from this. - Okay, Garfield! Drop into this nice warm vat of fettucine! - But what do I know?
21 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - Uh-oh. - FWING - - - YAAAHHH!
22 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Tuna. - ZIP - Yep. That's what I should have named you. This had better not be a false alarm.
23 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I broke a shoelace! - How can I go on?! - Maybe I should switch to slip-ons. Oh, no. Go with your first instinct.
24 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I am ready for my date! - How do I look? Um... - Isn't you date on friday? I hope this corsage holds up.
25 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - I'm not buying it. Curses.
26 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Z - BARK! BONK! - You're up. And Odie's on a bus bound for Nome.
27 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Z - I'm pretty sure the coffee isn't strong enough. Z
28 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
The Hungry Heifer - My fork is dirty... - These rolls are as hard as rocks...my steak is overcooked... - I see LIPSTICK on my glass...and there's an earring in my mashed potatoes! - Where's our waiter?! ...WAITER! - How's your meal?
29 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Weird... - Thoughts? We're attracting a higher class of rodent?
30 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
...the the mice beat up the stupid cat... - ...and lived happily ever after! - That's one sick bedtime story.
31 May 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
It's dark an raining outside... - There's a mouse sitting in the window sill... - PLAYING A TINY SAXOPHONE! Good day for the blues.
1 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Eek! A man! - There. How do YOU like it? GARFIELD!
2 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
z - z Z - I taste cheese! I smell tuna!
3 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Help! - Help! I'm going to catch you. - Why do I always seem to be the one making all the effort?! That's nice.
4 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- I love you, Odie. - - - - SMACK! - GARFIELD! I love you, too.
5 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I have a picture of Liz in my wallet. - You need a smaller picture. - I need a larger wallet. Or that.
6 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm a very serious cat. - I have little cowboys on my shirt! - And it's not easy.
7 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I don't understand why you don't like me, Garfield. - Is it because I'm cute? Or lovable? Or angelic? Or endearing? Or precious? Or young? Or personable? Or spunky? Or clever? ... - Yes.
8 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Show me a cute, obnoxious kitten... - And I'll show you a hole in the door. Where? There.
9 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield! Did you throw Nermal through the door again?! - That was mean! You should be ashamed of yourself! - Yes, thank you. And funny but I'm not.
10 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Ah, the noble radish! - Just what is it? - Because I haven't the foggiest idea.
11 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hmmm... - I saw Jon hide a box of cat treats in this cabinet. - What a pack rat! How much stuff is down here? - He should know better thsn to hide anything from me. - I'm a cat...supreme cunning and unparalleled resolve, and... - Wait... -
12 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Here comes Arlene. Better suck it in. - SUUUUUCK THUD -
13 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Wisdom comes with age. - Wisdom? Woo hoo... - I was hoping for a second dessert.
14 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Welcome, Garfield, to another birthday nightmare! - But you're a present. What's scary about that? Open me up? - A senior citizen's discount card. BWAH-ha-ha-HAAAAAH!
15 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I hope I don't have another age nightmare tonight. - - Are you the birthday boy? So much for hoping.
16 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- What are you? I'm a comb-over. - I've had scarier age nightmares. Wait! I've got split ends, too!
17 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm tonight's age nightmare, Garfield...the UNIVERSAL REMOTE CONTROL! BWAH-HA! HA! H- - Who's your friend? Huh? I'm the garage door opener. - HE'S not scary. Didn't I tell you to wait in the car?
18 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
OH, Garfield... - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! - Make a wish, Garfield! - Hmmm... - foof - POOF - Yes!
19 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I see somebody who needs a hug! - HEY! - Bring that cake back here!
20 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Cute kitty coming through. sniff BURP cough - Jealous?
21 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
What are you doing for dinner tonight, Jon? - Oh, just opening a can of something. - "Something"? Did you read the label? Who has time for labels?!
22 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Dogs have an amazing ability to identify smells. - Which comes as no surprise... - Because they're responsible for most of them. **
23 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield... - I'm going to order a pizza for dinner. - And I can do without the confetti. Oh, how can you deny my unfettered euphoria?
24 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
You've been on your back all day, Garfield! - Ever thought of turning over? - Ever thought of buying a giant spatula?
25 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Z - The light bulb blew out again and I'm scared. Z - - Can I have a glass of water? - - Tell me a story. - Didn't get much sleep last night? Clean out the stupid fridge!
26 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- YAAAAH! - I would find that funny if it didn't kinda hurt my feelings.
27 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Say, isn't that you on the cover of my magazine? No. - SLAP - Now it is!
28 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hee hee...this hard hat will protect me from that cat. - * GONG! - That worked out except for MY EARS!
29 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
poing! SPLAT - Maybe you need to go on a diet. OH, YEAH?! - ...perhaps we can all derive a measure of comfort from Larry's last words... "LOOK WHO'S TALKING, FATSO."
30 June 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
My life is too hectic, Garfield. Uh-oh. - I need to simplify. This can't be good. - I'm cutting back on personal hygiene. I could move somewhere warm.
1 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
MOUSE! - Hey, loudmouth! - Now EVERYBODY'S going to want one!
2 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - - - - Oh, all right... - But next time YOU guys get the kiddie pool! - Hey!
3 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - I've felt safer.
4 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Welcome to "Garfield's Science Fiction Theater". - Hungry? Nope. - You have been watching "Garfield's Science Fiction Theater".
5 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Happiness is what I'm all about. - SLAP POO! - MY happiness.
6 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
There's been a dog food recall, Odie. - I'll save you! - Hey, guys, there's been a dog food recall. POO!
7 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
You know what's weird? I've never heard Liz belch. - All the times we've been together, she's never belched ONCE! - Do you suppose she's saving it up` Sure. For when she meets your folks.
8 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm saving this cookie for later. - - Late enough.
9 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Say... - Jon, why don't we just stay in tonight and talk? Talk? - Yeah...just sit on the couch and talk. Talk? - You know...I say something, then you say something. Talk? - It's good for couples to talk. Talk? - C'mon...it'll be fun. Talk? -
10 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Wow! Did you hear that thunder? - It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up! - Ditto that.
11 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I've heard thunder makes cats jumpy. Z - BOOOM! - I wonder if that's true.
12 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield, come out from under the couch. It's only a little thund- - BOOM - Hey, I found a dime! My hero.
13 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
That thunder can't get us now, Garfield. munch munch munch - It's safe here under the couch. munch munch munch - It's also disgusting. Care for a petrified cheese curl?
14 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I don't believe this. - I'm hinding from a thunderstorm, under the couch, with my cat. - This will be out little secret, okay? Just between you, me, and my blog.
15 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'm hungry. And thirsty. - - That was efficient.
16 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
zzzzzzzzz - zzzzzzzzzz - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz SWISH - SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH - zzzzzzz - zzzzzzzzzzz - zzzzzzz
17 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield, do you ever wonder what's going on in the world? - There's something going on? - You're pathetic. There's a world?
18 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Odie looks bored. - - It's subtle, but it's there.
19 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
The nose does not really make a good pencil holder. - I'd write that down... - But I seem to be out of pencils.
20 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I don't feel like barking today. Hey, pal. You have to. It's your JOB. - Oh, very well... Bark - Happy? What's this world COMING to?!
21 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Would you like to see the medal I won as the world's fastest snail? Sure. - Darn! I left it at home. - I'll be back in a week. - I'll be here.
22 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hi, Liz...how was work today? - You did?... No kidding! - She deloused a labradoodle! You watch your mouth.
23 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Jon, are you done with the hose yet? Just a minute. - I'm trying to flush this- - GOPHER!!! - ...UP MY PANT LEG!!! GOPHER UP MY PANT LEG!! - YAAAA-AHHH!! And there he goes, headed for downtown. - We're going to be on the news again, aren't
24 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
How's life been treating you, hon? I have a girlfriend no, Irma! - - I think she needs a shave, hon. I wouldn't talk with legs like those...HON
25 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hi, Liz, it's your boyfriend! Ooh, which one? I have so many! - Jon? - Jon, it was a joke- Too late. He's already on the roof.
26 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Jon, would you like to hold hands? Sure! - - Each others? Even better!
27 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Liz and I are going to the late night movie tonight... - So don't wait up. Okay. - Z
28 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
It's friday night! * FREEEP! - Uh-ho...and that rascal, Garfield, got a head start on us! - Good one! clap clap It's rude noises night!
29 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I don't understand women. - - I'll just pretend I do. Yeah, that's always worked.
30 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield! - Garfield! The Donut Barn is having a clearance sale! - EEEEEEEEE! Oh, for Pete's sake! - EEEEeeeeeee YOU TWO ARE NUTS! - SLAM - beep beep boop beep beep - Hello? I want sprinkles.
31 July 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Good morning, Garfield. - I see you're awake. Ah. - So that's what this is called.
1 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- * TWANG * TWANG * TWANG - Odie needs tuning!
2 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Do you know what I think? - Oh, I hope not. - Even MY brain has standards.
3 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - He's lost a little weight, hasn't he? You have gill breath.
4 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Could I please speak to the most beautiful girl in the world? - She's not here right now...will I do? - How do I answer THAT? I'd hang up and hide behind the drapes.
5 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
At the top of this mountain lives a wise man. - Right on the top, huh? - He has a long beard, and he says great things about life. Oxygen deprivation will do that to you.
6 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff - sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff - sniff sniff sniff sniff sn - DIG DIG DIG dig DIG dig DIG DIG dig dig DIG dig DIG dig DIG dig - - - Not so fast, bone brain.
7 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Hey, handsome. - He enjoys an occasional compliment.
8 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Odie, the dog of a thousand faces! - - That's one...
9 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I like to think I represent cats everywhere. - CRASH! - CAT PRIDE!
10 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- scratch scratch scratch - She never scratches ME behind the ears. That's because she like me better.
11 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I hope to have kids someday, Garfield. - So I need the practice. - Ready to go to the mall, "son"? I hate you, "dad".
12 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
BEWARE OF DOG - - Do you know how much I saved on that sign? Not enough.
13 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Sigh - - - - - - Ah, memories...
14 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
What a nice amusement park. YEEEE! - - Garfield, people are staring. Corn Dog Heaven
15 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I love amusement parks! The hot dogs, the sodas... - The elephant ears, the ice cream, the pretzels... - ...the cotton candy.
16 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Nope. - Nope. Oh, yeah!
17 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
You must be this tall to ride this attraction - - May I have my shirt back now? Just a minute...he's still looking. Urf.
18 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- YAAH! AYIEE! - Are you boys ready for the roller coaster to begin? Let 'er rip!
19 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Boy, what a funday! No argument here. - Guess which ride I enjoyed most? Mhh...let me think. - Theeeee roller coaster? Wanna go again?!
20 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - b-d-d-d-d-d-d-d - BWONG* SPLAT! - Nobody TOLD me high-dive practice was this afternoon!
21 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
How long are you planning to lie there? - - A long time, I take it? Until I put out roots, pal.
22 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Odie is chasing a squirrel! - ...now the squirrel is chasing Odie? - Tag! You're it! smack! Ahhh...
23 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Tonight, on Mouse News... - Cheese is good...film at eleven. - You don't see hard-hitting investigative journalism like that anyone.
24 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
The ice cream melted! Oh, no! - I'll grab a mop! Not that! THINK, man! - I have a straw!
25 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
What would you like to do, Liz? Why don't we watch golf on TV together? - - Okay, I'm gonna cry now. Manly tears, of course.
26 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
On today's show, people who don't trust their pets. - I walked into the kitchen and found Fluffy at the table... - Reading my life insurance policy! Kinda obvious there, Fluffy.
27 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - click - vvvvvvv - dingle * dingle * vvvvvvv - vvvv - BZZZZZ
28 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
We should order a pizza. - - I've never seen a cat do the cha cha. Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week!
29 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'd like a large pepperoni. - * DING DONG - Now THAT'S service! It's cold.
30 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I wonder what we should have for dinner. - INSERT PIZZA - There's ONE subtle suggestion.
31 August 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
We can't order pizza EVERY night of the week, can we? - - Then again, if we don't try, how will we ever find out? I'm loving this logic!
1 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
C'mon, aren't we sick of ordering pizza every night? - Uh-oh... - I'm weakening. Looook into my eeeeyes...
2 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
* RIIING click Jon here, I'm not home right now... - I'm probably off on some exotic adventure... - Hey, maybe I'll find a shrunken head! This is why we never get messages.
3 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- What a nice day at the beach, Garfield. - Even Jon is enjoying himself. - Poor guy...he's usually a walking disaster area. - Where is he with those hot dogs, anyway? - SEAGULLS! - I'm not gonna look. Good thinking.
4 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I just completed a home improvement project. - Ever heard of bunk beds? - Tah-dah! Garfield Garfield
5 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
It's everybody's favorite quiz show, "Ask Odie"! - Ready for your first question, Odie? - Hmmm... That wasn't it, dipwad!
6 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hi! How's it going, Squeak? Never better! - - Another narrow escape!
7 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I am NOT the biggest loser in the world! - See?! - You're not even good at being a loser.
8 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hi, Garfield! - Surprised to see me? No. - But HE is.
9 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Nothing will move me from this spot. - Chocolate pudding! Oh, I know what you're thinking... - I brought the spot with me.
10 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - - - -
11 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
The All-Cat Channel presents... - "The History of Yarn". - "Part One: Cro-Magnon Underwear". This is boring. Shhh!
12 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Go fish. -
13 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
YAWN BAT - -
14 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
How come you don't bat me anymore? - Uh, I'd rather not say. - YOU THINK I'M FAT, DON'T YOU?!!
15 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
What a beautiful view! - I mean, HELP! - I lost my concentration there for a moment.
16 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I can't hold on much longer! - I'm going to have let go! - Just as soon as somebody soft walks underneath me.
17 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Jon's Blob: Today I cleaned my barbecue grill! - There was a lot of caked-on gunk, and it took a lot of hard scraping with a wire brush! - All afternoon long, it was scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape,
18 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
You look bored. You got that right. - You need a change of scenery. You got that right. - So, how about moving from that spot?! So, how about painting the ceiling a different color?!
19 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- CRASH! - Was that the cookie jar?! Gravity is my friend.
20 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I don't know how to tell you, Garfield... - But cats are supposed to be clean animals. - Not during the tapioka festival!
21 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
So, how's your teddy bear today? - - He's not speaking to us.
22 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
You say your ordered too much chinese food tonight? - ** DING-DONG There's the doorbell...hold on. - He's already there, isn't he? Brought his own chopsticks.
23 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
BARK! - BARK! BARK! Oops! - That was embarrassing. - I was barking at my reflection in the window. - I don't blame you.
24 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
WHAP! - * beedle beedle beedle - Hi, Jon! What's up? Uhhhh... - I forgot why I was calling you. Well, call me back when you remember. - click - - - I FORGOT HER NUMBER!!! Old people are funny.
25 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Beware Of Judgemental Dog - Nice slouch. I'd rather be bitten.
26 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Beware Of XXXX DUCK - HA! HA! HA! - I hate temp work.
27 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Beware Of Techno-Dog tic tic tic - * BEEDLE BEEDLE BEEDLE - GRRR
28 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I just LOVE this sign! BEWARE OF DOG - Love it! Love it! Love it! - I mean... GRR! Too late.
29 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Beware Of ****** - What? - It's classified.
30 September 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Chase Your Tennis Ball: 5c - - Give It Back: $ 5.00
1 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hey, that's great! - OK, see you in a few! - Liz is bringing over dinner tonight! - ...and she made LAGASNA! - Yep...she should be coming through that door any minute now! - ** DING DONG It's open! - Jon? Jon who?
2 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I could be wrong, Garfield... - But I think it might be time to clean the refrigerator. - I just got an EMail from the mayonnaise. "Jon Arbuckle and Mayonnaise are now friends".
3 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
BOING BOING - BOING BOING BOING - New fire hydrant?
4 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
AAAH! - THUD! - I just fell from that tree! Who hasn't?
5 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
It says here that cats leave you as easily as they'll love you. - Not to worry. - I'm not all that fond of you, but I'm too lazy to leave.
6 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- I decided to go with the SMALLER tie. - Hey, you CHOOSE the be with him, lady.
7 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
They put these little booties on me to keep my feet warm. - I see. - Is there any point in my barking at you? I'd only snicker.
8 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Z - Sigh... - I'm bored. - I know! Let's walk down the street and have a parade! - I'll be the grand marshal, and you can be a float! - People will line the street, cheering and throwing flowers! - SMACK! - I'm bored again. Welcome back.
9 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Remember when I was a loser with women? - - That was before I started going out with Liz. ...and she became a loser with men.
10 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Jon, why don't we stay in tonight? - There's a figure skating competition on TV. Sure! I LOVE watching that! - Wonderful! Okay, I'm guessing figure skating.
11 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Darn! My favorite T-shirt shrank in the wash! - Thank goodness it still fits, though. - This is a guy thing, right? Be thankful it wasn't his pants.
12 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
How are you today, Garfield? Great! - Couldn't be better! Swell! - You have to be careful what you tell a veterinarian.
13 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Jon? Yes, Liz? - Are your feet painted black? Yes. - I couldn't find my shoes this morning. And we had plenty of foot paint.
14 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Jon, this may come as a shock to you, but... - scratch scratch. - Now, where was I?
15 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- I'm glad we went out for breakfast. It's nice to have some time alone. - Oops...spoke too soon! - I can't eat with them staring at us like that! - Just ignore them. - Try lowering the blinds. -
16 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- I'm up to wednesday! - No more eating ahead!
17 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Yee-hah! - Now what? A man with a rake will turn you into mulch. - I withdraw my "Yee-hah".
18 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield, can you come here? - Yes. -
19 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
When Liz gets here, be on your best behavior. - I'm cool with that. - On second thought, be on somebody ELSE'S bes behavior. Oh, come on!
20 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Yes, mom, Liz and I are still together. - Yes, I know we make a lovely couple. - Yes, I know you'd like to see grandchildren before you die. Moms are not masters of subtlety.
21 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Beware Of Dog Is this your sign? - No. - Duh...I don't even have a dog.
22 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
YAAAARRRGHHH! - Okay, the monster has eaten Fred, Charlene, and Wilberforce. - If we're going to make it out of here alive... - One of us is going to have to distract it! - Can I get a volunteer?... - Anyone?... - How about you, Lumpy? Oh,
23 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
The universe does not revolve around you. Oh, yeah?! - I've got news for you, mister! - That's just one of its faults!
24 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Hold on! - Whoa! I thought I was going to sneeze, but then I didn't! - Life is like a mad, crazy coaster ride!
25 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
General, the zombies have breached our perimeter! - Should I hold my position? Over... What are they doing now? Over... - Dipping my foot in guacamole, sir. Over... I'd fall back about now.
26 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
The monster is coming this way! - Ha! Look how slow it is! - My GRANDMOTHER could outrun that mon- EEEEK! - Um...chaeck that. Maw-Maw went with her track shoes on.
27 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Mr. Mayor! A giant cheesy fake rubber spider is invading the city! - You can see the wires and everything! - Thrn call out the tiny toy tanks! Pardon me, but your budget is showing.
28 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
General, there's a giant mutant 98-year-old lady approaching on radar! - How bad can that be? Bad, sir. - She's driving a 32-story 1965 Bonneville! With a 16-foot blinking left turn signal.
29 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
click - ...GIVE MY CREATURE LIFE!!! - ZZZZZIT! ZZZZZOT! - LIFE, I SAY...LIFE!!! - ZZZZZZIT! ZZZZZZOT! ZZZZZZAT! - ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!! I'LL GET UP ALREADY!!! - STOP WITH THE JOY BUZZER, MOM!!! Lazy teenage monsters.
30 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Why are there fang marks in the lasagna? - AND WHY IS THE TOMATO SAUCE MISSING? - Oh, sure. Blame the vampire.
31 October 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Winter approaches. - - Now it's a little farther away.
1 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Don't tell me...time to feed the cat. - Is this my life?! - There must be something more! My litter box is about to be declared a hazardous waste dump.
2 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
So, how'd you get so FAT? - Eating chubby mice. - Let me rephrase that.
3 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Shall we go out to dinner tonight? - Okay! - She was talking to me! Very well, you may drive.
4 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I'll be howling at the moon tonight! Why do you do that? - Oh, it's something to do. That's silly. - Where are you going? I go bat a ball of yarn.
5 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Z Z Z - Z Z Z - Z Z z - - Z - z - Z Z
6 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Stick's Chased Free! - You Throw, We Retrieve - Four Sticks, No Waiting
7 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Beware Of Dog Back in 5 Min - Bone break.
8 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Beware of Dogs Incorporated - - Employees Must Wash Paws Before Attacking
9 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
A teddy bear makes everything better... - - ...and everything that's better even betterer.
10 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Look, Garfield! I bought a little teddy bear accordion for Pooky! - Well?! - Don't make eye contact, Pooky, and maybe he'll just wander away.
11 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- SNAKE! - Practicing...just in case. The weekends are way too long.
12 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Woo-hoo! This must be where the action is! - - Did you get my sarcasm there? - - OW! - Did you get my kick there?
13 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH - - Help! I'm being eaten by a cookie jar! Get out of there!
14 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Uh-oh! - Other side! Other side! - Ah, that's better.
15 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- He's certainly a happy dog. - YOU oughta be a diplomat.
16 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
It would be nice to wake up to music. - Instead of alarm. No problem. - I'd like to open with a little blues number. Sigh.
17 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - Were you even listening to me? - Sometimes I wonder why I even bother! You're a dog, right?
18 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I declare this house property of the Empire of Mice! - - Garfield... Shh. Don't let them hear you!
19 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
bip boop boop beep bip - What do you feel like for dinner tonight, Liz? - How about Italian? - No? Chinese, then? - How does pizza sound? - Or we could just do big greasy burgers. - Oh, and we may have to bring the cat. "May"? There is no
20 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Do you think there could be creatures from outer space watching us? - Could be... - How desparate are they for entertainment?
21 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
We're here to enjoy the great outdoors, Garfield. - To commune with nature. - You're not communing! I can fit seventeen noths in my mouth.
22 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Nice to see you, Garfield. - MY cookie! - It's the friendly ones you have to watch out for.
23 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Love is what I'm all about. - Did I say "love"? SMACK! - I meant to say "pastry".
24 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - Like I'd forget your shopping list.
25 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
You're getting kind of big. - - Cool!
26 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Garfield, the stomach garage called, you're due for a 10,000-meal tune-up. - The boy scouts called...they want to help your stomach cross the street. - The hospital called...they want to donate your stomach to a blue whale. - The
27 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Here is a box. - Fill it with something and give it to me. - Ah, the spirit of Christmas.
28 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Do you know what you want for Christmas, Garfield? - - This is a picture of a pizzeria. We could put it right over there.
29 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Your Christmas list needs to be a little more practical. - Fine. - This is an ice cream truck. Transportation AND nourishment!
30 November 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield, this isn't a Christmas catalog... - It's a restaurant supply catalog! - Ooo, a hot dog cart! And it matches our sofa perfectly!
1 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Have you finished it? Done and done. - I just e-mailed it. - Why did the lights just go dim? We're downloading Garfield's chhristmas list.
2 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- Wow! Look who's lost a TON of weight! - That takes care of HIS gift.
3 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
To: sclaus@nor - Dear Santa, I have been a very good cat all year long. - You can't fool Santa, you know. - He knows if you've been good OR bad. - And he's watching you all the time. - - Although perhaps you've seen my evil twin.
4 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
If you take that last donut, Santa will put you on his naughty list! - - No fat guy would ever do that.
5 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
STOMP! - STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! - We will return to "Santa's Elves versus Godzilla". The battle is just a bit lopsided.
6 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Dog drool... - And mistletoe! - Suddenly I don't feel very safe.
7 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Jon, don't spend too much on my gift. Don't worry, Liz. I won't. - - I MEAN... Toooo late.
8 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Jon, stop worrying about what to get me... - I'm sure whatEVER you pick will be PERFECT, and JUST what I want! - No pressure there. In theater, this is referred to as "flop sweat".
9 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
I don't know what to get my girlfriend for Christmas, dad. - Why don't you get her a pair of frilly overalls? Frilly? - The ones with the lace bib. May I talk to mom?
10 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - - - - - GAH
11 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield is limping. - - PUT THAT CANDY CANE BACK ON THE CHRISTMAS TREE!
12 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - Odie's been licking from the Christmas tree stand again.
13 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - Liz is coming over. I was kind of hoping that was the case.
14 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
FORGET it, pll. - I'd rather kiss a DOG! - Uh-oh.
15 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Liz is bringing over a batch of her holiday fudge! - - You can close your mouth now. - Fudge first.
16 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - YEEEOW
17 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - - - boop bip beep bip boop - Hi, Jon, it's Liz. My power just went out here. Did your power go out? - It's for you.
18 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
* FA-LA-LA-LAH-LAH-LAH-LA-LAH- - GURK! - My singing Christmas wreath! MY nap.
19 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield - - Never draw a mouse in a gift exchange.
20 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Santa! You shaved your beard! - And put on more weight! poke poke - And lost your sense of humor.
21 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - Okay, that was gross.
22 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
HO! HO! HO! - I'm SPIDER CLAUS! - I HOPE YOU GET UNDERWEAR!
23 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Nobody can sleep on Christmas eve... - Nooobody. -
24 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- - - - - pack pack pack pack - Merry Christmas.
25 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Run, Liz! - Run while you still can! - New sweater. Run, Odie!
26 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Garfield, I've made a resolution! - No more thumb-sucking! - Except during scary movies. That goes without saying.
27 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Any new year's resolutions, Garfield? - To stop eating junk food, and to exercise every day. - And to curb my incessant lying.
28 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Any new year's resolutions, spider? To think befor eI speak. - ...FATSO! - Blew it already, didn't you, Bob? Go bite a black widow, Larry.
29 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
Making any new year's resolutions, Garfield? Yep. - The same one I make every year. - Not to mess with perfection.
30 December 2011

		» 1 January 2011 »
- HAPPY NEW YEAR! - Woo hoo! So that explains the hats.
31 December 2011

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