1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z

1 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What a lovely night. All the stars are out. click! Now back to "Yodeling wit the Stars"! Garfield? -

2 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, I'm going to go hibernate now. You're going to go WHAT? Why am I just now hearing about hibernation?

3 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

We are only given a certain amount of time on earth. Some choose to live life to the fullest. Hi! I'm Moo-Moo! And some of us watch "Sock Puppet Friends".

4 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate change. I didn't used to... But I've changed.

5 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You rock! It's nice to know I'm here for me.

6 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't have a worry in the world. I gave them away.

7 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Life is full of surprises. Well, maybe not FULL. Maybe some of them leaked out.

8 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

STOMP! HA! Wake me for the vernal equinox.

9 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You're fat. It's true! I'm fat! There's more of me to love! I've done MY part!

10 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Swallow breakfast before you eat lunch. Oh man... Who makes up all these rule?!

11 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

It's diet time, Garfield. What?! Come on...continents sink into the ocean all the time!

12 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz thinks I should put you on low-calorie cat food. ROAAARR LIZ thinks! NOT me! Easy there, big fella!

13 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Who wants a salad?! Thank goodness no one was hurt in the stampede. That's his little attempt at sarcasm.

14 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Gosh, I hope nobody eaty my new houseplant. Hey! This is a SALAD!

15 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

hmmmmm POOMP Greetings, eartling. Take me to ypur leader. And make it snappy! This intergalactic incident wil not go unreported.

16 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Vegetables are very healthy. Cough. AHA!

17 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Can you hide me? Could this be a nightmare? -and eleven of my sugar-glazed friends? Oh, no! It IS a nightmare! THERE'S NO COFFEE! BWAH Ha! Ha! Ha!

18 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield, donuts are bad for you. Shame on them.

19 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

He looks just like you. I think so.

20 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

PLOP Were there any witnesses?

21 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Whoa! This sweater is much warmer than feathers! Although it's not so good for flying!

22 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Echo Point Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! I wonder how that works. I wonder how that works.

23 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

And that's the news... Well, most of it. I skipped a couple of stories with words I couldn't pronounce. I always wondered about that.

24 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Sir, I suspect that this may have been MURDER! Murder, you say?! Yes, sir...look at the piano. The piano? Um...the one sitting on the body? Ohhh, THAT piano. Inspector Oblivious of Scotland Yard.

25 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

...K-K-K-K-K... BZZT! POK POK POK You are watching the scrambled-image, static, and vertically flipping picture channel. Ah! You can cancel the service call.

26 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to the show! I hope you're ready to be kind of dazzled... By the SORT-OF-AMAZING IRVING! Not one of your better magicians.

27 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Someday insects will rule the earth. Now what? Going with th flow, slave boy.

28 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome the the all-act game show, "What Did Muffy Kill?" Okay panel, before your questions, you'll get one clue from Muffy, and here it is... HACK! Blue jay! Gotta be!

29 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

This way, guys! Z Hi! Who are you? We're twelve little donuts who've lost our way... Could you direct us back to the land of yummy pastries? Why don't I just eat you instead? You try it, buster, and I'll call our big brother! Goahead. HEY, DWAYNE! Yes? Th

30 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Dinosaurs ruled the earth. Z And now they're gone. Wow! That WAS a long nap.

31 January 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you sleeping? No. I'm too busy answering stupid questions!

1 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Dog You need to look a little more menacing. -

2 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

GAAAHH! Here w go again... OH, THE HUMANITY!! Happens every week. I HATE THIS!!! If you'd clean my litter box every day, it wouldn't be so bad!

3 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, you're wonderful. Don't you agree, Garfield? Yes! She keeps candy in her purse!

4 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sick of the daily routine, Garfield. Wake up, eat breakfast, go outside... Somebody throws a rock... I'm not moving...

5 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

boing boing boing boing boing boing boing boing boing ROWR Momma didn't raise no bounce house.

6 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is different from all the other girls I've known. For one thing, she LIKES me. Weird, isn't it?

7 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What can I do to impress Liz? Bake your cat a cake! You're no help. I know I'D be impressed.

8 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm composing a song for Liz. It's a tender love ballad. Sort of a polka-banjo thing. I'll be out back, burying your finger-picks.

9 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Jon, it's me. Hi, Liz! What are you doing? Oh, nothing much... It's laundry day here. Not a day for the fait of heart.

10 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you wearing to the restaurant tonight? You're going to wear thaaaat?... Well, then, I guess I'm not. The fashion police have a new sheriff.

11 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Urf Don't fall in love, Odie. You already act stupid enough.

12 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Staring contest! blink You lose.

13 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield wanted to come with us tonight. Are you sure he didn't? Huh? Isn't that him riding the dessert cart? Mine! All mine! Not if I don't turn and look.

14 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, that Liz is a good kisser. Really good. Reeeeeally good... And the cat waltzes right out of his comfort zone.

15 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I love the old country songs, Garfield. They were so poignant. This one's called "Times were hard, so we ate the cat". So that's what poignant means.

16 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm wearing a new cologne. Eau de Bacon. You bit me! And I'm as disappointed as you are.

17 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG Subtlety is for weenies.

18 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Some day, huh? I slept through 90 percent of it... So I'll guess "yes"?

19 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahem... That's MY chair. Que? GET UP RIGHT NOW! No hablo English, Senor Seatless. All right, if you won't let me have the chair... The LEAST you could do is SHARE it with me. Oh, very well... You're blocking the set.

20 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware, cat! My breed of fish is poisonous, and I can make you violently ill! My breed of stomach can eat 12 burritos bigger than my head. I'm toast.

21 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

...then I walked across the street. And then... You're boring me here, fatso. Get to the point! Can do.

22 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You ate my goldfish, didn't you? He went to my happy place.

23 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

If it makes you feel any better, that goldfish didn't taste nearly as good as I thought it would.

24 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

"See the happy little goldfish". "Swimming merrily in his little bowl". "See the evin cat..." Finally, the good part!

25 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't hold my breath any longer! GASP! Fish breathe! Sorry. Nice move, guppy gills.

26 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK I've had better days. yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank

27 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing is wrong. Nothing, nothing, nothing... Oh, THERE you are. Miss me?

28 February 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I love nature. Well, this PICTURE of nature. Always sunny, with no ice storms.

1 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

My ear itches, Garfield. Maybe an insect crawled in there! AND IT'S EATING MY BRAIN! Poor little guy's gonna starve...

2 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog"... "Is it true you became man's best friend by bribing somebody?" signed, "A cat sitting next to you". Oh, look, he kept the receipt.

3 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

There's me in the chess club...there's me in the latin club... There's me in the science club...there me in the calculus club... There's me, stag, at the junior prom. Go figure.

4 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, Liz may be that special "one". Sure, she may tell lame jokes and her nostrils twitch when she's angry, but she may still be the "one". The "one" is right behind you, big mouth, and her nostrils are twitching.

5 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Huh. Liz says I don't share my feelings. She says that's important in a relationship. Perhaps I am being a callous pig. Maybe I should try harder at this. I love you, man. Bring back the pig,...man.

6 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Think we should order tonight? THAT was a stupid question. Ah-ah-ahhh... -there ARE no stupid questions!

7 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Is your pizza sauce thick? I mean REALLY thick? He says we could pave our driveway with it. CAN we?!

8 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

...do we want hot peppers on our pizza? Duh.

9 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Pepperoni, with extra onions...how many onions? WAAAHHHH Make it cry. Like a baby for a night breeding.

10 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you watching on the computer? Is that the one we ordered? Yep. Pizza cam.

11 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Cold pizza and orange juice. I could just cry. This is the best breakfast he's ever fixed.

12 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

TWANG yang yang yang yang The first robin of spring is a little early this year.

13 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

It's party time! Woo hoo! Are you still here? Sorry to be such a drag...

14 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

The xcitement of the day is building. Slooooowly.

15 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Someday the world will thank me for inventing sponge shoes.

16 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

It's chilly in here. Would you mind knitting me into a sweater? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha, ha, ha. Good one.

17 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm afraid I might not be good enough for Liz. Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, come on, Jon! "MIGHT"?!

18 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, this tree should provide ample cover. Eventually...

19 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CREEEEEEAK... CRASH Well, that's one way to plug a leak.

20 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, spring... I love spr... I hate spring.

21 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, nature! Fresh air! Get yer fresh air here! Is nothing sacred? You want mustard with that air?

22 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I've programmed my phone so that each caller has their own ring. GRAAAAK! GRAAAAK! Ah, the screeching harpy. Mrs. Feeny on line one.

23 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm very sorry...yes...goodbye. About Mrs. Feeny's lawn gnome... First of all, he started it.

24 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Bug spray! Aaahh... Irish linen. Or air freshener.

25 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Breakfast. ZIP ZIP Uh, I'll let you know when it's time for lunch. That's why you exist, pal.

26 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh. Bad news, Garfield. I burned the eggplant casserole. Don't take it so hard. It's all part of the grieving process.

27 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You really haven't been paying attention to your life, have you?

28 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "How to Train Your Cat". Let's start with th basics, shall we? C'mon over here, Muffin. Muffin...c'mon, kitty. Heeere, kitty, kitty...heer-no, Muffin, this way...this way... Someone's being trained alright, and it ain'tMuffin...

29 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I won't say Jon is a bad housekeeper... And I won't say this house is dirty... But I have to wipe my feet before I go OUTSIDE.

30 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

* RIIING I bet that's Liz! Jon's love shack...lip-lock Arbuckle speking. Fine, Mrs. Feeny, and you? Blow her a kiss from me, lip-lock.

31 March 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello? No, sir, I do not have an unusually large head. Is that you, Doc Boy?! His brother gets bored.

1 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Danger is my life! Ha-HAAA! You shouldn't eat ice cream so fast. Ask me if I care.

2 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Get back! Go away, you stupid mutt! boop beep beep boop beep boop boop * beedle beedle beedle beedle SLURP!

3 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see...did I remember to shed today? Check.

4 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

There's cat hair everywhere! Don't be jumping to conclusions there, pal. Yelp! Odie sheds, too.

5 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh. You forgot to keep moving while you were shedding, didn't you? Help me!

6 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm sweating like a pig. Ah! Much better! I envy you.

7 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

This Property Valiantly Protected by a Savage, Bloodthirsty, White-Hot Ball of Canine Fury. Who writes your stuff? Wouldn't you like to know...

8 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Geez... Will eat homework for food. How low will dogs sink? To here, I guess. Iced Toilet Water 5c

9 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm... I'm reading an article about cats and the stress they can cause. snatch RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP What article? What stress? A soothing sense of calm just came over my being.

10 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Up, please.

11 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN You look tired. It's comforting to know I've got the right look.

12 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

They say love is blind. Love is also an idiot.

13 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

The sun. The wind. The rain. Have you been outside lately? Fascinating theories...

14 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

And now "The Feline Gourmet" with your host, chef Snuggles. Hi, and welcome! Today, my owner is out for the afternoon... So we'll be whipping up a hardy guppy goulash! That's one nervous-looking fish.

15 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Scrapbooking, stamp collecting, needle-point... I try to avoid hobbies. It's sort of a hobby of mine.

16 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, we're going to be late! I'm ready! You are NOT going out in those pants. No, no parachute pants, either. I don't think so. Uhhhh...no. Over my dead body. Where does he GET these clothes? There was a sale at Clown Town.

17 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Thank you! Thank you for your applause! CLAP CLAP CLAP I was swatting a bug. Thank you for swatting a bug!

18 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to the show! This is where you applaud. Oh, we thought this is where you entertain!

19 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I need a volunteer from the audience! Heck, I need an audience.

20 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You've been a great audience! No, we haven't. Have so. Have not. Then we'll just agree to disagree. Okay.

21 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I am at peace with the world. YAWM Or sleepy. They're a lot alike.

22 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm feeling down. Then put a smile on that face, Mr. Mopey Pants! Do you know there's a sock on the roof? I believe I do.

23 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

SPLOP! SOOOO-EEEY! PIG-PIG-PIG-PIG! GLOMP! MMMMFFFFF!!

24 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

How was the kite flying? The kite had a better time than I did.

25 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

They say there are some big fish in this lake. How big?!

26 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, no! We're going to crash! NO TIME TO REACT! LOOK OUT! AYIEEE! I'd call a turtle ambulance, but that could take weeks. Ow.

27 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! zzzzzzzzzzzzz Ulp That fly died a hero.

28 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

A lady at the restaurant tonight told Liz and me we "make a lovely couple"! Buuuut?... But then I stepped on her foot, she screamed, and her dentures shot out and lodged in the busboy's neck. There's always a "but".

29 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Bark-Bark! Hi, Moo-Moo! I sang a song today, Bark-Bark! Was it a happy song, Moo-Moo? I wonder if sock puppets are flammable?

30 April 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

* doo-dooo dee-dee dum doo-dooo... * ooh-ooh-oooooohhh baby bay-bee.. UH-HUH-UH-HUH * BLANG-A TWANND-YANG!! CHA-CHONK, CHA-CHONK PLAY AGAIN?

1 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I need to be more creative. Red flag, red flag. You know, I used to paint when I was in college. Barns don't count. I bet I've still got a masterpiece in me! I think we're out of black velvet.

2 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Should I paint a portrait...or a still life? Or both. Your muse is not amused.

3 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

How about a real dynamic pose? I guess that IS pretty dynamic for you. Hurry up, I can't hold this forever.

4 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Give me a "Mona Lisa" smile. Mona Lisa din't smile like that! You never caught her at a Willie Nelson concert.

5 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you painting, Jon? Garfield. It needs more orange. There isn't enough orange in the WORLD. I've always thought so.

6 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

...there! I think I've captured your essence. Let's see. -

7 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

* WAH-HA! HA! HA! tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic *send* WAH-HA! HA! HA! tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic

8 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I really overslept today. It's almost time to go back to bed. Maybe I can fit in a quick nap.

9 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Busy day. Don't I know it! It seems like the harder I work, the behinder I get. One of the other cats called in sick. Are you listening to me? So I had to take two naps AT THE SAME TIME!

10 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's take a look at the news. Oh, that's just AWFUL! Let's look at something else. That can't be good.

11 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

COMING SOON TO THIS SITE: AN EVEN BIGGER SIGN! Can't stop progress.

12 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

There's an antique doll show downtown. Well, let's GO, then! I'll get my coat! You really need to stop me when I do that. Say hi to Betsy Wetsy for me.

13 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask Dog"... "My dog will stare at a spot on the wall that he thinks is a bug, but it isn't, for hours. Is he stupid?" Signed, "Just wondering". Odie? Odie?

14 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

GAAAAHHH! Oh, no! I've burned the toast! You FOOL! How COULD you?! And the light bulb in the refrigerator burned out!! We're all DOOMED! And I can't find the TV remote!!! It's the end of the world as we know it!! THERE'S A DRINK ONTHE COFFEE TABLE WITHOUT

15 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, look! Odie has come to rescue me from this tree! Well, he did SOMETHING involving this tree.

16 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, no! Kids with kites! -

17 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, well, well. Uh-oh. I wonder who's ticklish? I have money.

18 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

In case of emergency, break glass CRACK Yoo-hoo...up here.

19 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

This day couldn't get much worse. DING DING * Ice creamman! Okay, that's just evil.

20 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing good can come from this. Okay, Garfield! Drop into this nice warm vat of fettucine! But what do I know?

21 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh. FWING YAAAHHH!

22 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Tuna. ZIP Yep. That's what I should have named you. This had better not be a false alarm.

23 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I broke a shoelace! How can I go on?! Maybe I should switch to slip-ons. Oh, no. Go with your first instinct.

24 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I am ready for my date! How do I look? Um... Isn't you date on friday? I hope this corsage holds up.

25 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not buying it. Curses.

26 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Z BARK! BONK! You're up. And Odie's on a bus bound for Nome.

27 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Z I'm pretty sure the coffee isn't strong enough. Z

28 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

The Hungry Heifer My fork is dirty... These rolls are as hard as rocks...my steak is overcooked... I see LIPSTICK on my glass...and there's an earring in my mashed potatoes! Where's our waiter?! ...WAITER! How's your meal?SUPER-dee-DUPER! You just ate the

29 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Weird... Thoughts? We're attracting a higher class of rodent?

30 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

...the the mice beat up the stupid cat... ...and lived happily ever after! That's one sick bedtime story.

31 May 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

It's dark an raining outside... There's a mouse sitting in the window sill... PLAYING A TINY SAXOPHONE! Good day for the blues.

1 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Eek! A man! There. How do YOU like it? GARFIELD!

2 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

z z Z I taste cheese! I smell tuna!

3 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Help! Help! I'm going to catch you. Why do I always seem to be the one making all the effort?! That's nice.

4 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I love you, Odie. SMACK! GARFIELD! I love you, too.

5 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a picture of Liz in my wallet. You need a smaller picture. I need a larger wallet. Or that.

6 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm a very serious cat. I have little cowboys on my shirt! And it's not easy.

7 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't understand why you don't like me, Garfield. Is it because I'm cute? Or lovable? Or angelic? Or endearing? Or precious? Or young? Or personable? Or spunky? Or clever? ... Yes.

8 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Show me a cute, obnoxious kitten... And I'll show you a hole in the door. Where? There.

9 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Did you throw Nermal through the door again?! That was mean! You should be ashamed of yourself! Yes, thank you. And funny but I'm not.

10 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, the noble radish! Just what is it? Because I haven't the foggiest idea.

11 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm... I saw Jon hide a box of cat treats in this cabinet. What a pack rat! How much stuff is down here? He should know better thsn to hide anything from me. I'm a cat...supreme cunning and unparalleled resolve, and... Wait... -What was I looking for aga

12 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes Arlene. Better suck it in. SUUUUUCK THUD -

13 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Wisdom comes with age. Wisdom? Woo hoo... I was hoping for a second dessert.

14 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome, Garfield, to another birthday nightmare! But you're a present. What's scary about that? Open me up? A senior citizen's discount card. BWAH-ha-ha-HAAAAAH!

15 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I hope I don't have another age nightmare tonight. Are you the birthday boy? So much for hoping.

16 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you? I'm a comb-over. I've had scarier age nightmares. Wait! I've got split ends, too!

17 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm tonight's age nightmare, Garfield...the UNIVERSAL REMOTE CONTROL! BWAH-HA! HA! H Who's your friend? Huh? I'm the garage door opener. HE'S not scary. Didn't I tell you to wait in the car?

18 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

OH, Garfield... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Make a wish, Garfield! Hmmm... foof POOF Yes!

19 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I see somebody who needs a hug! HEY! Bring that cake back here!

20 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Cute kitty coming through. sniff BURP cough Jealous?

21 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you doing for dinner tonight, Jon? Oh, just opening a can of something. "Something"? Did you read the label? Who has time for labels?!

22 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Dogs have an amazing ability to identify smells. Which comes as no surprise... Because they're responsible for most of them. **

23 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield... I'm going to order a pizza for dinner. And I can do without the confetti. Oh, how can you deny my unfettered euphoria?

24 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You've been on your back all day, Garfield! Ever thought of turning over? Ever thought of buying a giant spatula?

25 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Z The light bulb blew out again and I'm scared. Z Can I have a glass of water? Tell me a story. Didn't get much sleep last night? Clean out the stupid fridge!

26 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

YAAAAH! I would find that funny if it didn't kinda hurt my feelings.

27 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Say, isn't that you on the cover of my magazine? No. SLAP Now it is!

28 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hee hee...this hard hat will protect me from that cat. * GONG! That worked out except for MY EARS!

29 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

poing! SPLAT Maybe you need to go on a diet. OH, YEAH?! ...perhaps we can all derive a measure of comfort from Larry's last words... "LOOK WHO'S TALKING, FATSO."

30 June 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

My life is too hectic, Garfield. Uh-oh. I need to simplify. This can't be good. I'm cutting back on personal hygiene. I could move somewhere warm.

1 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

MOUSE! Hey, loudmouth! Now EVERYBODY'S going to want one!

2 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, all right... But next time YOU guys get the kiddie pool! Hey!

3 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I've felt safer.

4 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Garfield's Science Fiction Theater". Hungry? Nope. You have been watching "Garfield's Science Fiction Theater".

5 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Happiness is what I'm all about. SLAP POO! MY happiness.

6 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

There's been a dog food recall, Odie. I'll save you! Hey, guys, there's been a dog food recall. POO!

7 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You know what's weird? I've never heard Liz belch. All the times we've been together, she's never belched ONCE! Do you suppose she's saving it up` Sure. For when she meets your folks.

8 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm saving this cookie for later. Late enough.

9 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Say... Jon, why don't we just stay in tonight and talk? Talk? Yeah...just sit on the couch and talk. Talk? You know...I say something, then you say something. Talk? It's good for couples to talk. Talk? C'mon...it'll be fun. Talk? -You first, Jon. Uh...I h

10 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow! Did you hear that thunder? It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up! Ditto that.

11 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I've heard thunder makes cats jumpy. Z BOOOM! I wonder if that's true.

12 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, come out from under the couch. It's only a little thund BOOM Hey, I found a dime! My hero.

13 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

That thunder can't get us now, Garfield. munch munch munch It's safe here under the couch. munch munch munch It's also disgusting. Care for a petrified cheese curl?

14 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't believe this. I'm hinding from a thunderstorm, under the couch, with my cat. This will be out little secret, okay? Just between you, me, and my blog.

15 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm hungry. And thirsty. That was efficient.

16 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH zzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzz

17 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, do you ever wonder what's going on in the world? There's something going on? You're pathetic. There's a world?

18 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie looks bored. It's subtle, but it's there.

19 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

The nose does not really make a good pencil holder. I'd write that down... But I seem to be out of pencils.

20 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't feel like barking today. Hey, pal. You have to. It's your JOB. Oh, very well... Bark Happy? What's this world COMING to?!

21 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to see the medal I won as the world's fastest snail? Sure. Darn! I left it at home. I'll be back in a week. I'll be here.

22 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Liz...how was work today? You did?... No kidding! She deloused a labradoodle! You watch your mouth.

23 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, are you done with the hose yet? Just a minute. I'm trying to flush this GOPHER!!! ...UP MY PANT LEG!!! GOPHER UP MY PANT LEG!! YAAAA-AHHH!! And there he goes, headed for downtown. We're going to be on the news again, aren'twe? Wear your blue outfit

24 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

How's life been treating you, hon? I have a girlfriend no, Irma! I think she needs a shave, hon. I wouldn't talk with legs like those...HON

25 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Liz, it's your boyfriend! Ooh, which one? I have so many! Jon? Jon, it was a joke Too late. He's already on the roof.

26 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, would you like to hold hands? Sure! Each others? Even better!

27 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I are going to the late night movie tonight... So don't wait up. Okay. Z

28 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

It's friday night! * FREEEP! Uh-ho...and that rascal, Garfield, got a head start on us! Good one! clap clap It's rude noises night!

29 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't understand women. I'll just pretend I do. Yeah, that's always worked.

30 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Garfield! The Donut Barn is having a clearance sale! EEEEEEEEE! Oh, for Pete's sake! EEEEeeeeeee YOU TWO ARE NUTS! SLAM beep beep boop beep beep Hello? I want sprinkles.

31 July 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. I see you're awake. Ah. So that's what this is called.

1 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

* TWANG * TWANG * TWANG Odie needs tuning!

2 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what I think? Oh, I hope not. Even MY brain has standards.

3 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

He's lost a little weight, hasn't he? You have gill breath.

4 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Could I please speak to the most beautiful girl in the world? She's not here right now...will *I* do? How do I answer THAT? I'd hang up and hide behind the drapes.

5 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

At the top of this mountain lives a wise man. Right on the top, huh? He has a long beard, and he says great things about life. Oxygen deprivation will do that to you.

6 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sn DIG DIG DIG dig DIG dig DIG DIG dig dig DIG dig DIG dig DIG dig Not so fast, bone brain.

7 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, handsome. He enjoys an occasional compliment.

8 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, the dog of a thousand faces! That's one...

9 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I like to think I represent cats everywhere. CRASH! CAT PRIDE!

10 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

scratch scratch scratch She never scratches ME behind the ears. That's because she like me better.

11 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I hope to have kids someday, Garfield. So I need the practice. Ready to go to the mall, "son"? I hate you, "dad".

12 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF DOG Do you know how much I saved on that sign? Not enough.

13 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh Ah, memories...

14 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What a nice amusement park. YEEEE! Garfield, people are staring. Corn Dog Heaven

15 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I love amusement parks! The hot dogs, the sodas... The elephant ears, the ice cream, the pretzels... ...the cotton candy.

16 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Nope. Nope. Oh, yeah!

17 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You must be this tall to ride this attraction May I have my shirt back now? Just a minute...he's still looking. Urf.

18 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

YAAH! AYIEE! Are you boys ready for the roller coaster to begin? Let 'er rip!

19 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, what a funday! No argument here. Guess which ride I enjoyed most? Mhh...let me think. Theeeee roller coaster? Wanna go again?!

20 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

b-d-d-d-d-d-d-d BWONG* SPLAT! Nobody TOLD me high-dive practice was this afternoon!

21 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

How long are you planning to lie there? A long time, I take it? Until I put out roots, pal.

22 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is chasing a squirrel! ...now the squirrel is chasing Odie? Tag! You're it! smack! Ahhh...

23 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Tonight, on Mouse News... Cheese is good...film at eleven. You don't see hard-hitting investigative journalism like that anyone.

24 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

The ice cream melted! Oh, no! I'll grab a mop! Not that! THINK, man! I have a straw!

25 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What would you like to do, Liz? Why don't we watch golf on TV together? Okay, I'm gonna cry now. Manly tears, of course.

26 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

On today's show, people who don't trust their pets. I walked into the kitchen and found Fluffy at the table... Reading my life insurance policy! Kinda obvious there, Fluffy.

27 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

click vvvvvvv dingle * dingle * vvvvvvv vvvv BZZZZZ

28 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

We should order a pizza. I've never seen a cat do the cha cha. Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week!

29 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'd like a large pepperoni. * DING DONG Now THAT'S service! It's cold.

30 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what we should have for dinner. INSERT PIZZA There's ONE subtle suggestion.

31 August 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

We can't order pizza EVERY night of the week, can we? Then again, if we don't try, how will we ever find out? I'm loving this logic!

1 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

C'mon, aren't we sick of ordering pizza every night? Uh-oh... I'm weakening. Looook into my eeeeyes...

2 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

* RIIING *click* Jon here, I'm not home right now... I'm probably off on some exotic adventure... Hey, maybe I'll find a shrunken head! This is why we never get messages.

3 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What a nice day at the beach, Garfield. Even Jon is enjoying himself. Poor guy...he's usually a walking disaster area. Where is he with those hot dogs, anyway? SEAGULLS! I'm not gonna look. Good thinking.

4 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I just completed a home improvement project. Ever heard of bunk beds? Tah-dah! Garfield Garfield

5 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

It's everybody's favorite quiz show, "Ask Odie"! Ready for your first question, Odie? Hmmm... That wasn't it, dipwad!

6 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi! How's it going, Squeak? Never better! Another narrow escape!

7 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I am NOT the biggest loser in the world! See?! You're not even good at being a loser.

8 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Garfield! Surprised to see me? No. But HE is.

9 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing will move me from this spot. Chocolate pudding! Oh, I know what you're thinking... I brought the spot with me.

10 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

-

11 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

The All-Cat Channel presents... "The History of Yarn". "Part One: Cro-Magnon Underwear". This is boring. Shhh!

12 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Go fish. -

13 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN BAT -

14 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

How come you don't bat me anymore? Uh, I'd rather not say. YOU THINK I'M FAT, DON'T YOU?!!

15 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

What a beautiful view! I mean, HELP! I lost my concentration there for a moment.

16 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't hold on much longer! I'm going to have let go! Just as soon as somebody soft walks underneath me.

17 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's Blob: Today I cleaned my barbecue grill! There was a lot of caked-on gunk, and it took a lot of hard scraping with a wire brush! All afternoon long, it was scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape,scrape, scrape, scra

18 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You look bored. You got that right. You need a change of scenery. You got that right. So, how about moving from that spot?! So, how about painting the ceiling a different color?!

19 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

CRASH! Was that the cookie jar?! Gravity is my friend.

20 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't know how to tell you, Garfield... But cats are supposed to be clean animals. Not during the tapioka festival!

21 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

So, how's your teddy bear today? He's not speaking to us.

22 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You say your ordered too much chinese food tonight? ** DING-DONG There's the doorbell...hold on. He's already there, isn't he? Brought his own chopsticks.

23 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! Oops! That was embarrassing. I was barking at my reflection in the window. I don't blame you.

24 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

WHAP! * beedle beedle beedle Hi, Jon! What's up? Uhhhh... I forgot why I was calling you. Well, call me back when you remember. click I FORGOT HER NUMBER!!! Old people are funny.

25 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Judgemental Dog Nice slouch. I'd rather be bitten.

26 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of XXXX DUCK HA! HA! HA! I hate temp work.

27 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Techno-Dog tic tic tic * BEEDLE BEEDLE BEEDLE GRRR

28 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I just LOVE this sign! BEWARE OF DOG Love it! Love it! Love it! I mean... GRR! Too late.

29 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of ****** What? It's classified.

30 September 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Chase Your Tennis Ball: 5c Give It Back: $ 5.00

1 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, that's great! OK, see you in a few! Liz is bringing over dinner tonight! ...and she made LAGASNA! Yep...she should be coming through that door any minute now! ** DING DONG It's open! Jon? Jon who?

2 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I could be wrong, Garfield... But I think it might be time to clean the refrigerator. I just got an EMail from the mayonnaise. "Jon Arbuckle and Mayonnaise are now friends".

3 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING New fire hydrant?

4 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

AAAH! THUD! I just fell from that tree! Who hasn't?

5 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

It says here that cats leave you as easily as they'll love you. Not to worry. I'm not all that fond of you, but I'm too lazy to leave.

6 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I decided to go with the SMALLER tie. Hey, you CHOOSE the be with him, lady.

7 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

They put these little booties on me to keep my feet warm. I see. Is there any point in my barking at you? I'd only snicker.

8 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Sigh... I'm bored. I know! Let's walk down the street and have a parade! I'll be the grand marshal, and you can be a float! People will line the street, cheering and throwing flowers! SMACK! I'm bored again. Welcome back.

9 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember when I was a loser with women? That was before I started going out with Liz. ...and she became a loser with men.

10 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, why don't we stay in tonight? There's a figure skating competition on TV. Sure! I LOVE watching that! Wonderful! Okay, I'm guessing figure skating.

11 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Darn! My favorite T-shirt shrank in the wash! Thank goodness it still fits, though. This is a guy thing, right? Be thankful it wasn't his pants.

12 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

How are you today, Garfield? Great! Couldn't be better! Swell! You have to be careful what you tell a veterinarian.

13 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon? Yes, Liz? Are your feet painted black? Yes. I couldn't find my shoes this morning. And we had plenty of foot paint.

14 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, this may come as a shock to you, but... scratch scratch. Now, where was I?

15 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm glad we went out for breakfast. It's nice to have some time alone. Oops...spoke too soon! I can't eat with them staring at us like that! Just ignore them. Try lowering the blinds. -

16 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm up to wednesday! No more eating ahead!

17 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Yee-hah! Now what? A man with a rake will turn you into mulch. I withdraw my "Yee-hah".

18 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, can you come here? Yes. -

19 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

When Liz gets here, be on your best behavior. I'm cool with that. On second thought, be on somebody ELSE'S bes behavior. Oh, come on!

20 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, mom, Liz and I are still together. Yes, I know we make a lovely couple. Yes, I know you'd like to see grandchildren before you die. Moms are not masters of subtlety.

21 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Dog Is this your sign? No. Duh...I don't even have a dog.

22 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

YAAAARRRGHHH! Okay, the monster has eaten Fred, Charlene, and Wilberforce. If we're going to make it out of here alive... One of us is going to have to distract it! Can I get a volunteer?... Anyone?... How about you, Lumpy? Oh,this is because I'm chubby,

23 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

The universe does not revolve around you. Oh, yeah?! I've got news for you, mister! That's just one of its faults!

24 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Hold on! Whoa! I thought I was going to sneeze, but then I didn't! Life is like a mad, crazy coaster ride!

25 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

General, the zombies have breached our perimeter! Should I hold my position? Over... What are they doing now? Over... Dipping my foot in guacamole, sir. Over... I'd fall back about now.

26 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

The monster is coming this way! Ha! Look how slow it is! My GRANDMOTHER could outrun that mon EEEEK! Um...chaeck that. Maw-Maw went with her track shoes on.

27 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Mr. Mayor! A giant cheesy fake rubber spider is invading the city! You can see the wires and everything! Thrn call out the tiny toy tanks! Pardon me, but your budget is showing.

28 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

General, there's a giant mutant 98-year-old lady approaching on radar! How bad can that be? Bad, sir. She's driving a 32-story 1965 Bonneville! With a 16-foot blinking left turn signal.

29 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

click ...GIVE MY CREATURE *LIFE*!!! ZZZZZIT! ZZZZZOT! LIFE, I SAY...*LIFE*!!! ZZZZZZIT! ZZZZZZOT! ZZZZZZAT! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!! I'LL GET UP ALREADY!!! STOP WITH THE JOY BUZZER, MOM!!! Lazy teenage monsters.

30 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Why are there fang marks in the lasagna? AND WHY IS THE TOMATO SAUCE MISSING? Oh, sure. Blame the vampire.

31 October 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Winter approaches. Now it's a little farther away.

1 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't tell me...time to feed the cat. Is this my life?! There must be something more! My litter box is about to be declared a hazardous waste dump.

2 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

So, how'd you get so FAT? Eating chubby mice. Let me rephrase that.

3 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Shall we go out to dinner tonight? Okay! She was talking to me! Very well, you may drive.

4 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll be howling at the moon tonight! Why do you do that? Oh, it's something to do. That's silly. Where are you going? I go bat a ball of yarn.

5 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z z Z z Z Z

6 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Stick's Chased Free! You Throw, We Retrieve Four Sticks, No Waiting

7 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Dog Back in 5 Min Bone break.

8 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of Dogs Incorporated Employees Must Wash Paws Before Attacking

9 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

A teddy bear makes everything better... ...and everything that's better even betterer.

10 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield! I bought a little teddy bear accordion for Pooky! Well?! Don't make eye contact, Pooky, and maybe he'll just wander away.

11 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

SNAKE! Practicing...just in case. The weekends are way too long.

12 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Woo-hoo! This must be where the action is! Did you get my sarcasm there? OW! Did you get my kick there?

13 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH Help! I'm being eaten by a cookie jar! Get out of there!

14 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh! Other side! Other side! Ah, that's better.

15 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

He's certainly a happy dog. YOU oughta be a diplomat.

16 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

It would be nice to wake up to music. Instead of alarm. No problem. I'd like to open with a little blues number. Sigh.

17 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Were you even listening to me? Sometimes I wonder why I even bother! You're a dog, right?

18 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I declare this house property of the Empire of Mice! Garfield... Shh. Don't let them hear you!

19 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

bip boop boop beep bip What do you feel like for dinner tonight, Liz? How about Italian? No? Chinese, then? How does pizza sound? Or we could just do big greasy burgers. Oh, and we may have to bring the cat. "May"? There is no"may".

20 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you think there could be creatures from outer space watching us? Could be... How desparate are they for entertainment?

21 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

We're here to enjoy the great outdoors, Garfield. To commune with nature. You're not communing! I can fit seventeen noths in my mouth.

22 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Nice to see you, Garfield. MY cookie! It's the friendly ones you have to watch out for.

23 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Love is what I'm all about. Did I say "love"? SMACK! I meant to say "pastry".

24 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Like I'd forget your shopping list.

25 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

You're getting kind of big. Cool!

26 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, the stomach garage called, you're due for a 10,000-meal tune-up. The boy scouts called...they want to help your stomach cross the street. The hospital called...they want to donate your stomach to a blue whale. Theplanetarium called...your stoma

27 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Here is a box. Fill it with something and give it to me. Ah, the spirit of Christmas.

28 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you know what you want for Christmas, Garfield? This is a picture of a pizzeria. We could put it right over there.

29 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Your Christmas list needs to be a little more practical. Fine. This is an ice cream truck. Transportation AND nourishment!

30 November 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, this isn't a Christmas catalog... It's a restaurant supply catalog! Ooo, a hot dog cart! And it matches our sofa perfectly!

1 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you finished it? Done and done. I just e-mailed it. Why did the lights just go dim? We're downloading Garfield's chhristmas list.

2 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow! Look who's lost a TON of weight! That takes care of HIS gift.

3 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

To: sclaus@nor Dear Santa, I have been a very good cat all year long. You can't fool Santa, you know. He knows if you've been good OR bad. And he's watching you all the time. Although perhaps you've seen my evil twin.

4 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

If you take that last donut, Santa will put you on his naughty list! No fat guy would ever do that.

5 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! We will return to "Santa's Elves versus Godzilla". The battle is just a bit lopsided.

6 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Dog drool... And mistletoe! Suddenly I don't feel very safe.

7 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, don't spend too much on my gift. Don't worry, Liz. I won't. I MEAN... Toooo late.

8 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, stop worrying about what to get me... I'm sure whatEVER you pick will be PERFECT, and JUST what I want! No pressure there. In theater, this is referred to as "flop sweat".

9 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't know what to get my girlfriend for Christmas, dad. Why don't you get her a pair of frilly overalls? Frilly? The ones with the lace bib. May I talk to mom?

10 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

GAH

11 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield is limping. PUT THAT CANDY CANE BACK ON THE CHRISTMAS TREE!

12 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie's been licking from the Christmas tree stand again.

13 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is coming over. I was kind of hoping that was the case.

14 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

FORGET it, pll. I'd rather kiss a DOG! Uh-oh.

15 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is bringing over a batch of her holiday fudge! You can close your mouth now. Fudge first.

16 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

YEEEOW

17 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

boop bip beep bip boop Hi, Jon, it's Liz. My power just went out here. Did your power go out? It's for you.

18 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

* FA-LA-LA-LAH-LAH-LAH-LA-LAH GURK! My singing Christmas wreath! MY nap.

19 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield Never draw a mouse in a gift exchange.

20 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Santa! You shaved your beard! And put on more weight! poke poke And lost your sense of humor.

21 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, that was gross.

22 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

HO! HO! HO! I'm SPIDER CLAUS! I HOPE YOU GET UNDERWEAR!

23 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Nobody can sleep on Christmas eve... Nooobody. -

24 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

pack pack pack pack Merry Christmas.

25 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Run, Liz! Run while you still can! New sweater. Run, Odie!

26 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I've made a resolution! No more thumb-sucking! Except during scary movies. That goes without saying.

27 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Any new year's resolutions, Garfield? To stop eating junk food, and to exercise every day. And to curb my incessant lying.

28 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Any new year's resolutions, spider? To think befor eI speak. ...FATSO! Blew it already, didn't you, Bob? Go bite a black widow, Larry.

29 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

Making any new year's resolutions, Garfield? Yep. The same one I make every year. Not to mess with perfection.

30 December 2011
 
 
   
Garfield

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Woo hoo! So that explains the hats.

31 December 2011
 




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