- Ahem... - That's MY chair. Que? - GET UP RIGHT NOW! No hablo English, Senor Seatless. - All right, if you won't let me have the chair... - The LEAST you could do is SHARE it with me. Oh, very well... - You're blocking the set.
Garfield, Liz may be that special "one". - Sure, she may tell lame jokes and her nostrils twitch when she's angry, but she may still be the "one". - The "one" is right behind you, big mouth, and her nostrils are twitching.
Huh. - Liz says I don't share my feelings. - She says that's important in a relationship. - Perhaps I am being a callous pig. - Maybe I should try harder at this. - - I love you, man. Bring back the pig,...man.
Hmmm... - I'm reading an article about cats and the stress they can cause. - snatch - RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP - What article? - What stress? - A soothing sense of calm just came over my being.
And now "The Feline Gourmet" with your host, chef Snuggles. - Hi, and welcome! Today, my owner is out for the afternoon... - So we'll be whipping up a hardy guppy goulash! That's one nervous-looking fish.
Jon, we're going to be late! I'm ready! - You are NOT going out in those pants. - No, no parachute pants, either. - I don't think so. - Uhhhh...no. - Over my dead body. - Where does he GET these clothes? There was a sale at Clown Town.
A lady at the restaurant tonight told Liz and me we "make a lovely couple"! - Buuuut?... - But then I stepped on her foot, she screamed, and her dentures shot out and lodged in the busboy's neck. There's always a "but".
- What a nice day at the beach, Garfield. - Even Jon is enjoying himself. - Poor guy...he's usually a walking disaster area. - Where is he with those hot dogs, anyway? - SEAGULLS! - I'm not gonna look. Good thinking.
Hey, that's great! - OK, see you in a few! - Liz is bringing over dinner tonight! - ...and she made LAGASNA! - Yep...she should be coming through that door any minute now! - ** DING DONG It's open! - Jon? Jon who?
Z - Sigh... - I'm bored. - I know! Let's walk down the street and have a parade! - I'll be the grand marshal, and you can be a float! - People will line the street, cheering and throwing flowers! - SMACK! - I'm bored again. Welcome back.
click - ...GIVE MY CREATURE *LIFE*!!! - ZZZZZIT! ZZZZZOT! - LIFE, I SAY...*LIFE*!!! - ZZZZZZIT! ZZZZZZOT! ZZZZZZAT! - ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!! I'LL GET UP ALREADY!!! - STOP WITH THE JOY BUZZER, MOM!!! Lazy teenage monsters.
planetarium called...your stomach is replacing Pluto as the ninth planet! - The stomach museum called, inviting you to a one-man show. - Fat Watchers called...they want to come over and stare. All this talk is making me hungry.
To: sclaus@nor - Dear Santa, I have been a very good cat all year long. - You can't fool Santa, you know. - He knows if you've been good OR bad. - And he's watching you all the time. - - Although perhaps you've seen my evil twin.