* DING-DONG - - Most pets don't ring doorbells and run! But, duh! If you walk, you get caught!
1 November 2012
I was gazing into Liz's eyes... - And she dozed off. - She must not have been gazing back. Wanna bet?
2 November 2012
Even with truth on your side... - It can still be hard to make others believe you. - THAT'S NOT FOOD, ODIE!
3 November 2012
I see everyone is here... - Thank you all for coming. Please take your seats. - BLORK - FLARP SQEET - FWEEEEP HORNK - VOOMP SQUARK QUEEEP BLART - "Whoopie Cushion Theater" will return in a moment. I beg to differ.
4 November 2012
Look at this, Garfield. - The human brain is superior to all other brains. No argument there, Jon. - You should get one of those.
5 November 2012
Bad mood, coming through. - SQUISH - You stepped in my guacamole! You're too close to the tracks.
6 November 2012
Meow - Quack! Quack! - Moooooo - Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! - Don't quit your day job.
7 November 2012
That's my uncle Otto. - He was very inquisitive. - Then one day a milking machine ripped his lips off. Interesting smile.
8 November 2012
I crave action! - Wait, that's not right. - I crave pudding!
9 November 2012
What can I do to impress Liz at dinner tonight? - Take me with you! - You're not helping. And lavish me with a big, thick steak!
10 November 2012
* RING - No, that's okay...I understand, we'll do it next week. - That was Liz. She had to cancel our date. - An emergency came uo at the animal hospital. Shot down because of a gerbil with a chest cold. - Sigh. - I hate gerbils. So do I,
11 November 2012
Garfield, can you come here? - - No.
12 November 2012
I used to practice my dance moves in a mirror. - Then one day dad caught me. - He burned my tutu. I may not sleep for days.
13 November 2012
Here's an interesting stamp. - Fascinating! And thank you for sharing! - I'm not through. Oh, look! The escape hatch is closing!
14 November 2012
I wonder if life is still out there? - - Yes! And it has chocolate chips!
15 November 2012
Did you know that Liz is a veterinarian? Seriously? - - My knee hurts. Jon?
16 November 2012
Usually dogs look ridiculous in sweaters. - - But "ridiculous" wouldn't do that dog justice.
17 November 2012
- - Where do you keep your baster? Bottom kitchen drawer. - Thanks. No problem. - Just a turkey hallucination. I get them this time every year. - Nothing to worry about. - Hey, we can't find the casserole dish. They keep moving it. Some
18 November 2012
Hey, Garfield, I'll throw a pea, and you catch it in your mouth! - donk - Never mind. What's next on the agenda, you mad, crazy, fun person, you?
19 November 2012
- It's not healthy to feed pets people's food. - Or to talk crazy talk to a carnivore.
20 November 2012
Cheeseburger! Is that all you got? - Lasagna! I lught! - A cheeseburger, lasagna, donut sundae! -HA! You drooled! He's good.
21 November 2012
So you and Garfield are pigging out today. - By any chance, are you wearing togas? - What? More grapes.
22 November 2012
Let's see what's for supper. - Looks like leftovers. - Is meat loaf supposed to be this color? I'll get our meat loaf color chart.
23 November 2012
tick tick tick tick CHUKUNK! - tick tick tick tick CHUKUNK! - Stop making toast! Sure, "Get a hobby," he says.
24 November 2012
- - - - pook - -
25 November 2012
Look, Garfield, musical sneakers! - When you run in them... - They play "Flight of the Bumblebee". I need a really huge fly swatter.
26 November 2012
- - Odd...my self-esteem just dipped.
27 November 2012
Let's take a look at the weather. - A cold front is heading this way. - Who left the window open? The sports guy.
28 November 2012
That's creepy. - I got a strange voice mail. - It sounded like a screaming donut. One made it to a phone.
29 November 2012
- - Hoe's oh-so subtle.
30 November 2012