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Garfield

Garfield, I'm taking the personal-hygiene pledge. I promise to brush my teeth every day. Even if I'm not going anywhere. This is a cult, right?

1 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

We should simplify our lives. Z Z I should simplify my life.

2 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder, Garfield... Will anyone remember me when I'm gone? You're still here?

3 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, I have made a big decision. I've decided to retire. Go away. I need a villa.

4 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Garfield! Hey, as long as I'm here... Let's check for parasites! Who let the vet in?

5 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

sip Hmmmmm slurk This hot chocolate needs something. snap! Much better.

6 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

We should travel and see the world. Okay... How about this?... We walk to the window and look out.

7 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Odie, when I give the signal, you distract Jon. I'll grab his food, and we'll meet back here to split the booty. Got it? Okay, you stand here and slobber. I'll order a pizza.

8 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

May I borrow the steak sauce? I thought you weren't a fan of steak sauce. I'm not. Odie's chewing up your slippers.

9 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, nice suit! See, Garfield? I really like it. I DO have good taste. C'mon, make it light up! We should go shopping now.

10 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, could you be getting more beautiful every day? How sweet of you to say that! But I don't think so. Yeah, you're probably right. Run, Jon! Run!

11 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not really sleepy. Z But I AM a professional cat.

12 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat pat pat pat pat DIG DIG DIG DIG DIG DIG -

13 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Today I'm going to go with the flow. Come on, world! Whatever happens, happens! That is, if you can find me.

14 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

15 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

SIGN That seemed unnecessary.

16 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Milk... Some people read expiration dates. And some don't.

17 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Tell me about your feelings, Jon. My what? Feelings. Um... So I pretended to faint. That's a conversation stopper.

18 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

How do I smell, Garfield? I put on a whole bottle of pine-scented cologne! sniff sniff sniff sniff This won't end well.

19 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

ZIP Garfield, they say as you age, life speeds up. Whoa, look! I'm over here already! Now I'm in the kitchen! Now I'm BAK! NOW I'M IN THE BACKYARD!!! click

20 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I bought new curtains, Garfield. They're for people with pets. Pre-shredded. Well, that just saps all the joy out of life.

21 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I lost my phone! I feel so isolated... And I like it! This must have been how cavemen felt.

22 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing to eat around here except dog biscuits. Oh, well, things could be worse, I guess... LIKE NO MILK!

23 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Isn't this better than watching TV in a stuffy room? This is reality! Ummm...so it's like a documentary? It's called "outside"!

24 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

When I was in school, I once annoyed an old gypsy woman. She put a curse on me. She said I would never get a date to the prom. What a waste of a perfectly good curse.

25 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you would look adorable with some ribbon in your hair. Excuse mse. . OW! What was that? I clawed Jon.

26 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Odie! Liz and I would like to be ALONE. Outside! Shoo! SLAM! -

27 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't make up my mind. Should I do nothing? Or start to do something and then quit?

28 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

How can I go on like this? We're having pizza for dinner. THAT'S how!

29 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

ZIP I'm a turtle. ZIP But not a very good one.

30 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Meow I'm taking the day off.

31 January 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz canceled our date. And I'd already made dinner reservations. Forget it! I'll pretty up.

1 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I have built a perfect scale model replica of the parthenon. It took days... ...probably shouldn't have made it out of chocolate.

2 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

And now back to our game. Okay, Larry, here's your bonus-round question... Can you identify this sound? *PWOINK* Huh BOY, that sounds familiar. PWOINK

3 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I tell you all my troubles, Garfield... And the problem is that you can't interact. Not so, Jon. The problem is that I don't care.

4 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

My gums hurt. FINALLY! SOME EXCITEMENT!!!

5 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, I need to see the dentist. Jon Arbuckle. Yes, "the screamer". Dear Blog:

6 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Teeth whitener. You're burning my retinas.

7 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey there, beautiful. What?!...oh, I'm sorry. Wrong number. That was Bob the Butcher. Way to ruin our bacon connection!

8 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I want to set a good example. BURP! So everyone please lower your standards.

9 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

* beedle beedle beedle Jon, how about going out for dinner tonight? Liz Sure! Sounds great! tic tic tic itc Let's go to that Italian place. They have the BEST lasagna. Good choice! Ho, Jon! It's me! Did I leave my phone here?...and huge doggie bags! Uh-oh

10 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz makes my heart pound. And makes me sweaty and weak in the knees. I think it's love. Or malaria.

11 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Know what you should never do? Stuff popcorn in your ears. Good advice. Huh?

12 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes I wonder if anyone knows I'm alive. I mean, do I really exist? Did you hear something, Garfield? She's good for him.

13 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I love being with you, Liz. Why, thank you. I'm so happy. Me too. Would it be inappropriate to break into song? Yes.

14 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon and I went out tonight, Garfield. He danced. Sorry you had to see that.

15 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I was thinking about us, Jon. Wondering what the future holds. Yeah! Maybe we'll have ice cream! Can I get in on this?!

16 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

It's too bad that we don't have a butler. He could answer the door. He could serve us our meals. He could call us "Sir". But it'll never happen. Right, Garfield? That's "sir" to you.

17 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z I shaved my eyebrows! I hate mondays.

18 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You look a little down, Garfield. Maybe it's time foooor... OOO! EEE! OOO! EEE! OOO! EEE! Yes, folks, the happy monkey dance.

19 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't wait till friday. I have a date with Liz! Is it friday yet?! Where did I put the tranquilizer darts?

20 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

What a great morning, Garfield. I feel like I can conquer the world! I rule! Said the man in the Happy Pony pajamas.

21 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Know what I like about you, Jon? My exceptional flossing? The way I can cross just one eye? You're different.

22 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Here, Odie, you forgot your suitcase. You also forgot to leave.

23 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like a donut, Liz? I'd LOVE one. But I really shouldn't. So you WOULD like a donut? Absolutely. But you don't WANT one? No! No, no, NO! Women. They're a mystery.

24 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Gonna sneeze. WAH-CHOO! Good one.

25 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

In the future, cats will ruke the world. Still.

26 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear ask a dog..." "How come you're so slow?" Signed, "Squirrel in the backyard". YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP!

27 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Great news, Garfield! I'm writing a polka opera! Not enough cotton in the world!

28 February 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz thinks I'm sweet. Of course she does. It's because he's as bright as a powdered donut.

1 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats know life. That's why we avoid it.

2 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, I think Garfield has a little cabin fever. I think we all get that this time of year, Jon. Besides, how bad could it be? AAAAAAAAGGG GGGGGHHHHHH Wanna come over? Sure, how does june sound?

3 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm so happy! I have a girlfriend, a faithful dog, and a... Now I'm depressed. Maybe fixing lunch for your cat will cheer you up.

4 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you have your dinner? I'm considering it.

5 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do I do this, you ask? BOOT! GLRRD I'm a fan of funny noises. FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP LAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FL LAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFL PFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAP What's it like out there? March.

6 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

There goes Mrs. Feeny with her poor cat on a leash. Is there anything sadder? Except maybe the matching outfits!

7 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Who wants a cat treat? Garfield? How about you? Ask Jon.

8 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I have sophisticated tastes. GULP That was food.

9 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahhh... It's sunday, Garfield! Today I'm not going to do ANYthing...just like you. * RIIMNG Hi, Jon, it's Liz. Hi, Liz! Want to do something today? Sure! I'll be right over! SLAP! Rookie.

10 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I believe in making plans. Lots and lots of plans. Shouldn't you be doing something? Can't you see I'm busy?

11 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

RRRRR You're wearing booties. My toesies are cold. I can't let you bark at me today.

12 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm reevaluating things, Garfield. What's really important? Okay... Is it my rugged good looks? Or your vivid imagination?

13 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Garfield. You were sleepwalking last night. Doinf ballet moves. Must have been the swan I ate.

14 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I wrote a love song for Liz. It's called "I'll stay with you forever... ...even if you try to lose me in a shopping mall". Based on a true story.

15 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

"Nothing ventured... no effort expended". Cat wisdom.

16 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh SIIIIIGH There, there, Garfield... I know you miss it...we all do. Just hang in there, pal. It'll be back again before you know it! Spring? The ice cream truck.

17 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

A cat can have fun with just a piec of string. Not this piece of string, however.

18 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie's burying his bone. I have a bad feeling. Wait, I didn't give him a bone. A really bad feeling. And where's the remote? A really, REALLY bad feeling.

19 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at the pretty spring flowers, Garfield. They whisper happy thoughts to us. Spring is disturbing.

20 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a sunny day. No wind, perfect temperature... Why the long face? There is nothing to complain about.

21 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Big date with Liz tonight! And in case there's a lull in conversation... Puppets! That should raise the creepy factor.

22 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee hee hee hee hee GOO! HOO! HOO! HOO! HOO! GAA! BWAH! HAW! HAW! HAW! You are watching the Laughing Baby Channel. This always cheers me up.

23 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

SLURK! SLURK! SLURRRRK! SLUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUU UUURRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRKKK OKAY! OKAY! I'LL BUY MORE LEMONADE!! And another bendy straw. This one is all slurked out.

24 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z I gave myself a wedgie getting dressed this morning. I hate mondays.

25 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

The garden is a success! I think I'll call him "Ed". OR not. He didn't mean it, "Loretta".

26 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is a nice dog. He licks my face. You never lick my face. I hardly know you.

27 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't mess with me, cat. I brought a bodyguard with me today. Say hello to Bernie. Bernie? Yo.

28 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, I feel like doing manly things today. Like eating junk food and watching sports! We're going shopping. Manly shopping, no doubt.

29 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Sir? Sir?! YES! YES! I'LL HAVE FRIES! Oh, the pressure.

30 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

munch munch munch Welcome back to "When Wildlife Snaps!" Here we see a hungry bear approaching a camper... Who forgot to keep his food in a high, safe place. munch munch RAAWRRR! AIYEE! munch munch munch

31 March 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

STEP JUST A LITTLE CLOSER That can't be anything good.

1 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

"If space aliens were to invade earth, they could take the form of animals." Have you come in peace? Take me to your refrigerator.

2 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You cats are spooky, Garfield. Some say you can read minds. Well, not with my brain-wave blocking helmet, buddy boy! Now for my escape...

3 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Why dogs bury bones is a mystery. Why they dig them back up is an even bigger mystery.

4 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

The computer is a wonderful thing. For instance... If I turn it off, I can see an excellent refelction of myself.

5 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I never made it to my date with Liz. The wind was against me. Liz is one lucky woman.

6 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE "Finicky Eating Habits of the Cat" WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! pound pound pound

7 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Cat push-ups.

8 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, it's time. Time to clean the kitchen. The cockroaches are wearing party hats. Lot of birthdays today.

9 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! Whoa. That was perfect! One bark? One lousy bark?! No way to improve on that one... You're going to take a nap, aren't you?

10 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

A great meal...a nap...can life get better? BURP! Okay...NOW can life get better?

11 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I are leaving, Garfield. Garfield? That's strange. I can't lift the picnic basket. Oh, Jon...

12 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Madam Gortez Fortune-Telling? Can you tell me what my future holds? Z Hey, wake up! She's good.

13 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity I gotta stop drinking coffee afterdinner!

14 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I should get up. Will I? Won't I? Savor the suspense, people.

15 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Learning is its own reward. Seriously? I found a dollar in a book once. Ah.

16 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Fetch the stick, Odie. CLONK! OW! Fetch the blame, Odie.

17 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I made toast. Do you want a slice? Sure. Butter? Sure. There's that weird face again.

18 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You seem down, Liz. I'll bet I can make you smile. I could fall off the roof! Again? Seen it.

19 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I dined by candlelight. We gazed into each other's eyes. Then my tie burst into flames. I knew you wouldn't disappoint me.

20 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

HELLO, MISTER SPRINGTIME!! ...and he's ALL yours!

21 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

The world does not revolve around you. You got that right, pal. Because I told the world not to!

22 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

No one ever listens to me. Hello?! They hung up... Self-esteem hotline.

23 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I've almost got you, cat! Mailman! Thank goodness for short attention spans. SQUIRREL!

24 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

COUGH! COUGH! Garfield! I was choking on a peanut, and you just sat there! We have peanuts?!

25 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Who's going to say it first? Okay, I declare a tie! You BOTH love me!

26 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Mister Butterfly... THOT! Good morning, Mister Truck.

27 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

KONK -

28 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I was feeling blue. But Jon fixed that. Now I'm creeped out.

29 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a letter from a man whose best friend is actually a cat! He likes stamp collecting and plaid. Tell me you didn't sign it. Look, he even signed his name!

30 April 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

BOO! Oh, real funny! Beware Of Do.. -...

1 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's trying his hand at gardening. AIEEE! LADYBUGS! You knew the risks, man!

2 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I went shopping, Liz. And I bought you a hat! Don't look at me... IT's the Exctinct Species Collection! I dodn't make you date him, lady!

3 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are natural hunters. Lying in tall grass, waiting for prey... ...tying to stay awake.

4 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

WARNING: BEWARE OF DOG WHO THINKS HE'S A LAPDOG WHOOMP -I like to think of myself as smart. Good for you. I like to think of myself as skinny.

5 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Not a good morning, Garfield. I tied my shoelaces together! Now I have to take tiny steps! You're going to have to start paying me to live here.

6 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

How would I describe Jon? A daydreamer...kind..gentle... ...loves gum.

7 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF THE DOG TAKE ONE BARK!

8 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

...so he says, "that was no aardvark, that was my wife!" boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! Even the crickets are booing.

9 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I feel refreshed! I feel alive! HOOOW ARE YOOOU? HUUUH? New mouthwash.

10 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

First message...Jon, this is Liz. I'm relly looking forward to our date. Oh, yeah, and leave the accordio at home. Rats! She's good.

11 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I found this in the back of the refrigerator. I wonder if it's any good. Here, Odie. Try some. MMMMMMMMMM mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Never use a dog as taste tester.

12 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, it's a beautiful day! I'm putting you outside! You can scamper about! Perhaps he's forgotten that cats have retractable claws?

13 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

vroom! vroom! You aren't fooling anybody!

14 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Nope Not here either. Where is that stupid mower?! I found the paperboy.

15 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Bark! That's it? ONE bark? Yeah, but it was perfection. Hey, but I know lazy when I see it.

16 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you notice someone cleaned your kitchen? Well?! Elves DO exist!! Quick, Jon! To the escape pod!

17 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

So, Liz, I'm thinking about laminating my stamp collection. What do you think? I thibk she hung up. LIKE AN HOUR AGO!

18 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

xoplbrqzdafelknmcsjg

19 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

The world would be a better place if spiders were in charge. SMACK! For starters, THERE WOULD BE LESS OF THIS!

20 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Say, if you're done with the paper... I'd like to read the comics. That was too obvious, wasn't it? Nice try, though.

21 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Got some news for you, cat. You HAVE to be nice to us now... We have a hostage! FIENDS!

22 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

(burp) Ah, what a great meal. You, had a big ol' juicy fly. Love those body fluids. Hey! I'm eating here!

23 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

COOKIES Chocolate chip A good scout is invaluable. On to the candy bowl.

24 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

* Don't you vets take some kind of OATH?!!

25 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

COOKIES WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP We're having some trust issues.

26 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Life is full of regrets, Garfield. How true. Do you have any regrets? Yes, I do. Maybe stealing food? Kicking Odie off the table? Squashing spiders? I never learned to type.

27 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I've invented the pie-cake-pie! Mmm. Not bad, although it's not quite as good as the cake-pie-cake!

28 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, YUCK! There's a tooth in my soup! WE FOUND IT, SMILEY! I love happy endings.

29 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I have no energy, Garfield. Maybe I should work out... Or take a nap. Come to the dark side, Jon.

30 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You're easy to talk to, Liz. I could talk to you for hours. click Hello? It's not nice to threaten people, Jon.

31 May 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I was trapped! I couldn't breathe! Finally I was able to break free! That dental floss should have a warning label.

1 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z** Garfield, do you have to be so annoying? Yes. I refer you to page 137 of the Standard Cat Owner Agreement.

2 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon is down in the dumps. And I know just what to do about that. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

3 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Finally, the house is clean. Ah, the circle of life.

4 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff That's odd. Odie's breath smells good. Chasing your toothpaste with your cologne will do that.

5 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm back from the pet store. Do tell... I bought you something fun! I'm giddy. Fake dog ears! This is why good cats go bad.

6 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I love a man who can make me laugh, Jon. Yes, I do have a sense of humor. I'm talking about your wardrobe.

7 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I have no emails or messages. Gee. This can only mean one thing... You have no friends? Alien abductions? Take him! Take him!

8 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Pizza's here! 'bout time!

9 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a beautiful day! But the plot is weak.

10 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

My Uncle Forrest would say, "you can't know someone.. until you've walked a mile in their shoes". He had three hundred pairs when they caught him. That's about a seven on the creepy scale.

11 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a picture of you as a kitten, Garfield. You were so cute. I hate cute. But for me I'll make an exception.

12 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello. I'm the age nightmare scheduled for this evening. I think you want the guy in the bedroom down the hall. Thank you very much. Pretty polite, for a bald spot. GAAAH

13 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Age nightmare? Oh, yeah. You're a 45 R.P.M. record...I remember you. Precisely! BWAAHHH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAHHHH!

14 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

My age nightmare is a sieve? That's right! I'm your....um...your....uh...........your....wait, don't tell me.... My memory? Yeah! Yeah! That's it!

15 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to your age nightmare, birthday boy! Readig glasses? Why are you scary? Because when you need me... You'll never remember where you PUT me! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAH! Sorry, still not scary. Oh, no? Just wait, it gets worse! -Who are you? I'm the CHAI

16 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing can stop me today! Except for that forgetting-what-I-was-going-to-do thing...

17 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon got me gift. He doesn't know it yet.

18 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You must be my birthday nightmare. That's right. Why only one candle? Doctor's order. Last year I pulled a hamstring.

19 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I got a new, extra-long chain. You don't say.

20 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't wait to see you, Liz. I can't kiss you over the phone. Oh, okay...smoochie, smoochie. Wire cutters...I need wire cutters.

21 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Is lying there all you can do? BURP! You disgust me. I can wiggle my toes, too.

22 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

ENTER > Okay, let's see... oooooooooooo AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE THUNK! I am NEVER taking you to a warehouse club again! I love you, barrel of cheeseballs! kiss kiss kiss

23 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield... I've made a few mistakes in my aardvark. I mean "life". NOooooo...

24 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP Better go fill up again.

25 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware of the vicious big honking dog! And the eight gazillion-volt electric fence! And the tyrannosaurus rex! You should be ashamed! You weren't supposed to get this far.

26 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Why don't you just let go? Having a cape doesn't mean I can fly!

27 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz enjoys my company. I can understand that... Some people enjoy broccoli, too!

28 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

The monster! It's alive! And he enjoys gardening. Monsters shouldn't wear sun bonnets.

29 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, guys. Hey, Irma. SURPRISE! It's customer appreciation day! You get a "we finally passed our health inspection" balloon... An "I heart mystery meat" T-Shirt... And something really special... An all-day antacid! I'm gett ingall mis

30 June 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

There are jungle cats and house cats. One thing separates the two. Scented kitty litter. Jungle cats are barbarians.

1 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats love milk, Garfield. We do? Lap it up! Any cereal to go with this? You're not lapping. Or some sugar, corn starch, cocoa powder, salt, and egg yolks and we can make chocolate pudding.

2 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't feel like cooking, Garfield. I'll just open a can or something. "Critter parts". Any port in a storm.

3 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Big date with Liz tonight. I'm wearing my special tie. Pull this and it explodes! Allow me.

4 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Every morning I wake up and think... "Today is a new and exciting day!" Than I see you. They don't call me "Mr. Reality" for nothing, pal.

5 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

MINE! Poor Jon... I GOT IT! I GOT IT! Will he ever learn? YEEOOWW! "Catch the pineapple".

6 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

SMACK! SMACK! WHACK! WHOP! SWAT! SPLAT! Six flies, three spiders, one gnat, two grasshoppers, four moths and an earwig! Burgers are done! Oh, no thanks!

7 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes things just don't get right for me. There's a word for that... "Life".

8 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

That's new. There was a sign here last week... "Beware of falling rocks".

9 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I am calling you... I am the lasagna. NOT! Meat loaf is cruel.

10 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I have deep thoughts, Garfield. I should write them down. Where are my crayons? Next to your army guys.

11 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield hid my car keys. But, HA! I found them! Uh, Garfield? Where is the car? The game is afoot!

12 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

If you wait patiently... Complete boredom will arrive.

13 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Come on...come on... I'll be late for my date with Liz! HONK! HONK! HONK! THANKS FOR DRIVING SO LOW, YOU MOUTH-BREATHING, KNUCKLE-DRAGGING, PEA-BRAINED IDIOT! YOU... ...ooo You say this is the lates fashion trend? It's called"Knuckle-Dragger Chic&qu

14 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Gah. Urf. And so the day begins.

15 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I've fallen in the old well! If only there were a CAT who could save me! Timmy must have landed on his head.

16 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon says he has a major announcement. Like I care... I've gone electric! Okay, I care a little.

17 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Help! Help! I'm stuck in a tree! Help! Help! I'm going to fall! I like to warm up before I get started.

18 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield likes it when you come over, Liz. How can you tell? He's awake. Yeah, we should erect a statue in her honor.

19 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Why is everything wrinkled? It's called "The Odie Effect".

20 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... I remember our family trips. There's cousin Earl. He was accidentally left at a rest stop. He was missing for years. As it turned out, he was adopted by a pack of wolves. We got a postcard. "I have acquired a taste forsmall game."

21 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I found Pooky! Whoa! What's happening?! Those latent urges die hard.

22 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

My invention will benefit the world... Lifting the yoke of oppression from pet owners everywhere! The portable litter box! Vengeance will be mine.

23 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

ODIE! Her, Odie! Her, boy! ODIE! WHY IS He IGNORING ME?! -

24 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Can this day get any better? Ants have eaten all of your tofu. Well, yes it can!

25 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I have become very close. We share our deepest secrets. Should I tell her about my limited fashoin sense? I think she knows.

26 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

YOU PUT MY GOLDFISH IN MY SHOE! It's his birthday.

27 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Huh... This article says that you can learn a lot from your cat. You should try it. GULP! CHOMP! SNARF! BURRRP Z I have taught him well.

28 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

A kid stopped me today. He asked if I was old. I tied his shoelaces together. You have some good years left, my friend.

29 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

beep I just got a text! "I have an itch". My right ear.

30 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats know things. For instance, I can tell that Odie's been digging. It's like I'm psychic!

31 July 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Pudding for everybody! Steaks on the house! A round of drinks for everyone! Well?

1 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I love romance. I love fudge. You are a piece of work. Okay, your turn.

2 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, you should plan for the future. I made you a list of goals. I don't see cowboy on here. That explains the hitching post out back.

3 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I bet if I pull my big-eyes routine on Liz, I can get a snack out of her. She's good.

4 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Fascinating! I must be doing this wrong.

5 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Today we sent a cat into space. This served no scientific purpose... But there's one less cat on the planet! This does not bode well...

6 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Let the workout begin! I bought a set of weights. Arrrgh! I can't get them out of the car! Let the workout end!

7 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon is having thoughts. Deep thoughts. Do birds have fingers? Deep, disturbing thoughts.

8 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish Liz were here. And you weren't. FOR ONCE, WE AGREE!

9 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I know that accusing look. This can't be good. Forty-three goldfish?!! He found my diary!

10 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfieeeld... Oh, sure, blame the coach...uh, I mean cat.

11 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you'll never believe... What's that?! Excude me, I'm needed in surgery! I an NOT boring!

12 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello? Hello? Hello? At least once a week, Jon tries to make a phone call with the TV remote. Hello?

13 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Here comes the ice cream man. Just in time. Bill Brick wants a fudge bar.

14 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, Garfield, Garfield... That's my name. Don't wear it out. Have you no control?! Give me a subject. Did you enjoy the wax fruit?! Chewy, tasteless, yet satisfying.

15 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is here, Garfield. She's helping me with my wardrobe. Do you smell smoke? Free at last!

16 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You're in my chair. I'm sitting in cat hair! Let the punishment fit the crime!

17 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahhhhh Oh, all right! You can come in, too! But just ONE pool toy! -

18 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

It's so hot outside, you sweat just standing still! Finally, an exercise program for YOU. Except for that sweating part.

19 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon isn't going to be happy. Woo hoo! Woo hoo! The mice have been frolicking in his stamp collection. I'm Bolivia!

20 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Grab the string, Garfield! Only if it opens a trapdoor.

21 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the... Wait...before you even get started... You're fat. Where's my brick?

22 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

What are you thinking about, Garfield? Why don't they make tuna-flavored ice cream? Nothing romantic? You wouldn't LOVE that?!

23 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is spending the week with her parents. Jon was very supportive. Then the car pulled away.

24 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

HUHHHHHHH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH CLAP -

25 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time for the *bee-dee-dee-dee-dee* cat weather report. I'm not leaving the house, so the weather doesn't matter. This has been the *bee-dee-dee-dee-dee* cat weather report.

26 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

We should go for a drive, Garfield. A drive in the country. We can look at a cow! Medium or well done?

27 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't you wish you could do this? WHACK! SPLAT! Doesn't look safe. You got THAT right!

28 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I joined a book club, Garfield! Soon my brain will expand! But then I won't be able to wear hats! And then I can't be a cowboy!!! Step away from the book, Tex.

29 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

MY ACCORDION IS MISSING! Oh, my. How tragic. Can you imagine anything more tragic than that, Garfield? No, nothing more tragic than that. Saaay...

30 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jump back! Who is this guy?! I'm a wild man! Didn't comb his hair.

31 August 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... I wish you coulfd talk, Garfield... Then we could REALLY communicate. We could have discussions, and share deep thoughts. I wonder what wisdom you woul dimpart to me if you could talk right now...what would you say? CLOP -Yeah, words are overrated

1 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I would appreciate a little respect. You're going to make fun of me when I leave the room, aren't you? Why wait?

2 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP! Garfield, in the history of disgusting noises... THAT is number one. I'd like to thank the academy.

3 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

When I was young, Garfield... My brother and I made our own excitement. One toime we exchanged underwear. I believe that this qualifies as animal abuse.

4 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Mr. Arbuckle, here's my bill for cleaning your refrigerator. Why so much? I lost two of my best men in there. No match for the meat loaf.

5 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Really, Liz, I love all animals. Even the fat, lazy, disgusting ones. I heard that.

6 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I feel like biting somebody! Socks don't have teeth. Then maybe I'll bunch up inside a shoe. That'll work.

7 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a business proposition for you... I'll pay you five bones...and make it look like an accident. Gotcha, where is he? Hey, Nermal! Meet my big friend. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW You BEAST! How COULD you?! What happened to you? I hatecute...

8 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

STOP IT! HA! HA! HA! HAW! HAW! HAW! STOP IT!! HEE HEE HEE! Okay, I'm done tickling myself. Please pay the cable bill.

9 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity. BONK! Shortly before discovering the lawsuit!

10 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

That was odd. I was just hugged by a stranger. It must be National Hug Day! Actually, it's National Check-Your-Wallet Day.

11 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm setting a trap for the mice. Three...two...one... SNAP! YEOOW! Sound the allclear

12 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Clothes shopping is fun, isn't it, Garfield? New pants brighten the day. So cheer up. I hate my life.

13 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I are going dancing. Oh, I forgot! Cha-cha-cha! The woman's a saint.

14 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

ARF! ARF! ARF! What's wrong, boy? ARF! ARF! ARF! Is it Timmy? Is he in the well? Yes! That rotten kid is in the well! AND I PUSHED HIM! REFUSED TO GIVE ME A NUM-NUM, WILL HE? I SHOWED HIM! I SHOWED EVERYONE! MWA-HAHAHA! Uh...I mean"arf"? Boy...

15 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, let's take a moment to ponder life. My foot itches. I gues we're doing pondering.

16 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

DANGER BEWARE OF THE... FINE PRINT! Okay, now I'm intimidated.

17 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee, what's this? An empty fish bowl? Feigned surprise. Maybe they grew legs and ran away! Right into sarcasm. You should stop eating my goldfish, Garfield! Now the crazy talk.

18 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I'm missing out on life. I don't have a witty circle of friends... Who paint their bodies and head-butt each other... Too many sports commercials.

19 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you see in the future for us, Jon? Dinner. I mean after that. Dessert!

20 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Hip people don't follow trends, Garfield. They create trends. My shirt is tucked into my boxer shorts! I'm alerting the trend police.

21 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

slurp... BOOM! What waa THAT?! And where's Odie? You mean the "Canine Cannonball"?

22 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I worry about the future, Garfield. Life is so unpredictable. What if I forget how to speak?! Don't try to cheer me up.

23 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a picture form high school. Look at the girls. Remember when petticoats were in style? On what planet was that?

24 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Good evening, folks! Tonight I would like to class up my act by singing opera. BOOO! Or I could juggle puppies. YAY!

25 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I think it's time to clean the refrigerator. Every time I open the door... The music stops. I like the disco ball.

26 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, Liz! How'y my fuzzy wuzzy rubby bubby? Okay, the nicknames need work. Rookie.

27 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

There's a pea in my mashed potatoes! Now the whole meal is ruined! Sometimes it's too easy.

28 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE There! I wonder where Garfield is? BOOT!

29 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Just look at this world, Garfield. I'm... It's NOT a small world. Not... You just make it seem that way! Fat.

30 September 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I went to the doctor today. He told me to lose a few pounds. How about a little sympathy, here? I'm weeping on the inside.

1 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, so we both got on a diet. We'll encourage each other. Any supportive thoughts? YEAH! LET'S EAT!

2 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Know what's good about dieting, Garfield? You walk down the street... And people yell "Hey there, slender person!" It must be some scret society!

3 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I bought a new scale, Garfield. It doesn't need batteries. It's solar powered! Hello, Fatso. I must blot out the sun.

4 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You've been on a diet for a week, Garfield. And you've gained three pounds. Care to explain? I ate the diet book.

5 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, I know that look, you're up to something, aren't you? Either that, or you've already done it, and it's probably something HORRIBLE, too. Something horrible and shocking that I'm likely to find by accident any MINUTE now! -YAAAAAAAH!! That was fun...

6 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I could climb you. And there's nothing you can do about it! Unfortunately...

7 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, look, the cat's stuck in a tree. Aw, poor kitty. Let's peck his fingers. No! Let's tickle him! Or grease the limb! Or saw it off! Shouldn't you be migrating?

8 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

poink Quitter!

9 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Leaves... Rake... Cover the rake with the leaves.

10 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, I lied about my past. Actually, I've had thousands of girlfriends. Okay, I'm still lying! And the hole gets deeper.

11 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, THIS is a scratching post. You dig your claws in... And go like this! If you don't want me to use your nail file, just say so.

12 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I had a dream about us last night, Garfield. We were having a picnic, eating sanwiches in a beautiful forest glen... When suddenly, a huge bear jumped out and attacked us! Than you sprang in to cation, fought him off with your barepaws, swept me into you

13 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN I'm tired. I stayed up too late last afternoon.

14 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You are not the pool. Look! Tiny lounge chairs!

15 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Dog Kisses $1.00 Towels $2.00

16 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, family heirlooms. As the eldest son... I now wear the family hat. Do you know where that thing has been?

17 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I like Liz. She's kind, considerate... And has long fingernails.

18 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Teen Polka Party"! ** ** * There's no one on the set. Another generation lost.

19 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

|||| |||| ||| || | yawn Time to recharge.

20 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a rainy monday morning. However, I'm a cat and I don't have to get out of bed. Don't hate me.

21 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

It's been a tough day, Garfield. But remember my motto... "Ninjas never cry". Their cats, on the other hand...

22 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is angry with me. Take my word for it.

23 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm feeling down, Pooky. Any words of encouragement? No? Pooky's just "there".

24 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember when we met, Liz? Yes. Let's re-create that moment. Hi, I'm Jon. You're standing on my foot.

25 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Gee, isn't this lovely. A cat hair in my soup! What could be worse?! My hairnet?

26 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm cute, and you're not. Is that so? I can be just as cute as you, Nermal. Oh, yeah? Prove it. Just watch me. AWWWWWWWWWWW Poor dear, did you eat a sick mouse? You were saying? Go choke on a rainbow.

27 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Give my creature LIFE! ...GIVE MY CREATURE LIFE!!! Monster movie? Man trying to wake a cat.

28 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Count Dracula, table for one? Right this way, please... Would you like to see a neck list? No, zenk you. He's a regular.

29 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Arrrrr... ROOOO! We should never have let Odie watch that werewolf movie.

30 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

The vampire cat sleeps all day. He also sleeps at night. Z They're not really that dangerous.

31 October 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you believe in ghosts? WHERE?! I mean, no. No, I don't. Ask him about his 23 nightlights.

1 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

The moon is full and hair is growing on my body! Hair in my ears! Up my nose! What's happening to me?! "Curse of the middle-aged man"...

2 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

*

3 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

It's cold, windy and raining outside. Outside is stupid.

4 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Modern technology is a wondrous thing. I've forgotten how to turn the computer on! But it will never replace good old-fashoined dumb.

5 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

!FRA -!FRA !FRA !FRA !FRA !FRA !FRA !FRA !FRA Odie, stop barking at the mirror.

6 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

The mice wanted to go camping. AIEEE!! I said they could stay in Jon's slippers.

7 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's go do something, tonight. Okay. You'll have to stare off into space yourself. I'll manage.

8 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

You miss a lot of things. A lot of things miss me.

9 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

pssssht! gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck BURRRRRRP GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK BURRRRAAAAAP Not everything is a contest, you know! . Said theloser.

10 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, let's make the most of this day. Let's live it to the fullest. Let's open the curtains! Jon! There's sunshine out there!

11 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I'll have a Happy Burger. And the fat lady in the fur coat? DONK

12 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

HUNGRY CAT! Oh, man, am I glad that he's... THIRSTY DOG!

13 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, we're in a rut. We need to spice things up. I'm changing our name to Roscoe! Claw time.

14 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Some men look good in hats. I wonder what she meant by that. Some men would know.

15 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, let's see if we can communicate. Concentrate and focus! I'm sensing relaxation... Z

16 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

*** *** * You have three new messages. First message: squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak I am ALWAYS losing that thing! GARFIELD! Found it.

17 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Pets are supposed to amuse, Garfield. That's an ugly rumor. You do not amuse. You'd better start. You want amusement? Get a monkey.

18 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you ever taken a good, hard look at yourself? I said... Hang on.

19 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, I'm a plump little chipmunk! Would you like to play? I like to roll in mustard! Is this a sting operation?

20 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a good saying, Garfield. "Failure is not an optin". True that. Around here it's a way of life.

21 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, why do you love me? I have my reasons. My ninja skills? WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE?!

22 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's depressed. He feels alone and scorned... Nobody will jam with me. AND for good reason.

23 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

growlll I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Me? Hungry? Wow, that's a toughie... Yessiree, that's a real stumper, that is. Gosh, let me think... Thank you, Captain Sarcasm.

24 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning, Mr. Grumpy. Nothing you can do can spoil my good mood today. * DING! Is that the toaster? Your slippers are done.

25 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, I have a cat. Yes, he's big and orange. Yes ,he's wearing a necklace made out of canary feathers! In some cultures this signifies a rite of passage.

26 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm back from the store, Garfield. Let's see...I got milk...eggs...bread... And a ninja outfit! And people wonder why the economy is bad.

27 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I remember family holidays. Uncle Joe would do his magic act. He made the fruitcake disappear. No great loss there.

28 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, why are you staring at me? I can't take my eyes of you, Liz. Could you at least blink? That's the way I stare at strawberry shortcake.

29 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you look depresse. Pondering a life unfulfilled? Yes. I've never eaten a pelican.

30 November 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... You haven't played with me in a long time. You USED to bat me around all day long...now you just IGNORE me! Oh, please... Well, *I* know when I'm not wanted! I'm going home to my mother! ...mother? -

1 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

2 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Doc Boy and I were crazy teenagers. We used to drag race. I painted flames on the tractor! Cool, yet pathetic.

3 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

WHIRRRRR Enough with the hair dryer wars! Victory is mine!

4 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, we are prepared. Ready for any disaster. We have enough egg salad to last for years! I love disasters!

5 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

My aunt Orpha used to say, "Christmas comes but once a year". Then she'd say, "never get under the mistletoe with a molting chicken". Then she'd play the spoons on her forehead. Aunt Orpha was a few walnuts shy of a fruitcake.

6 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

"It was a stormy night..." There aren't any pictures. Is there a remote?

7 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! Odie! Get in here! We're taking our Christmas card photo... And we want everyone in it! The pizza guy? He's like family.

8 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I got my Christmas tree, Liz. It's covered with sticky sap. Good, that means it's freshly cut. Where did you put it? Right now it's in the kitchen. Pass the cream, pine boy.

9 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Bring on the candy canes!

10 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, I'll proofread your letter to Santa! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! It's a little repetitious, isn't it? But it drives the point home, though. Don't you think?

11 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

xvlpdiuangepwjkud<#zhdaiow;hefgbelr(jhlSdbbaceiu% send How cute. He thinks he's writing a letter to Santa. One squeaky bone!

12 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Your Christmas lights look great, Jon! Thanks! And I only fell off the ladder TWICE this year! Our little boy is growing up.

13 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

* Fa-la-la-la-laaaaah, la-la-lah SMACK I was TOLD there would be flies and cocoa!

14 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield shake shake shake shake No Peeking Did you find my decoy? Well played, Arbuckle.

15 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, your letter to Santa is deplorable! It's full of half-truths and outright lies! What?! How'd a half-truth get in there?!

16 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you ask Santa to bring you anything, Jon? Oh, YEAH! We just got an e-mail from Jon's girlfriend. Cancel the leisure suit.

17 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

...you be good now, Sonny, and I'll remember what you asked for! Thanks, Spider Claus! Ho! Ho! Ho! ...next! -

18 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

All right, I've hidden your present again. And THIS time I've... STOP THAT! under the bed...how cliche.

19 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Why don't you hide Garfield's present on top of your exercise machine? He'd NEVER look there. The thing you hang your shirts on. Oh, THAT!

20 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Yes, mom, I guess you could say that Liz and I are serious. How serious? She makes me clean my house. Somebody book a chapel!

21 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Dec. 18 ** * I Dec. 19 ** * II Dec. 20 ** * III Dec. 21 ** * *IIII* Dec. 22 ** * *|||||* Hey, I LIKE that Christmas song!

22 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

23 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

X AAAAGGGHH slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp

24 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Merry Christmas, Jon! Merry Christmas, Odie! Where's Garfield? Merry Christmas, me!

25 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Exercise is a great way to stay warm. That's true... This works, too.

26 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

I think our dish should be done now...let's check the oven. 60-inch, high-definition lasagna. Towel, please.

27 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Winter is nice. The snow...the crisp air... My socks are wet. Let the whining season begin!

28 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

pat pat pat pat pat pat AWWWWWWW AWWWWWWW AWWWWWWW Even my snowman is cuter than yours. It it not! AWWWWWWW

29 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

Lovable pet coming through. You forgot to purr. I'll mail it to you.

30 December 2013
 
 
   
Garfield

There comes a time when you have to assess yourself... I'm awesome! I should have done that years ago.

31 December 2013
 




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