garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, I'm taking the personal-hygiene pledge. - I promise to brush my teeth every day. - Even if I'm not going anywhere. This is a cult, right?
1 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
We should simplify our lives. - Z - Z I should simplify my life.
2 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- I wonder, Garfield... - Will anyone remember me when I'm gone? You're still here?
3 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon, I have made a big decision. - I've decided to retire. - Go away. I need a villa.
4 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Hi, Garfield! - Hey, as long as I'm here... - Let's check for parasites! Who let the vet in?
5 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- sip - Hmmmmm - slurk - This hot chocolate needs something. - snap! - Much better.
6 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
We should travel and see the world. Okay... - How about this?... - We walk to the window and look out.
7 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Okay, Odie, when I give the signal, you distract Jon. I'll grab his food, and we'll meet back here to split the booty. Got it? - - Okay, you stand here and slobber. I'll order a pizza.
8 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
May I borrow the steak sauce? - I thought you weren't a fan of steak sauce. - I'm not. Odie's chewing up your slippers.
9 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Hey, nice suit! See, Garfield? - I really like it. I DO have good taste. - C'mon, make it light up! We should go shopping now.
10 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz, could you be getting more beautiful every day? - How sweet of you to say that! But I don't think so. - Yeah, you're probably right. Run, Jon! Run!
11 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I'm not really sleepy. - Z - But I AM a professional cat.
12 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - pat pat pat pat pat pat - DIG DIG DIG DIG DIG DIG - -
13 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Today I'm going to go with the flow. - Come on, world! Whatever happens, happens! - That is, if you can find me.
14 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
(null)
15 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- SIGN - That seemed unnecessary.
16 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Milk... - Some people read expiration dates. - And some don't.
17 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Tell me about your feelings, Jon. My what? - Feelings. Um... - So I pretended to faint. That's a conversation stopper.
18 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
How do I smell, Garfield? - I put on a whole bottle of pine-scented cologne! - sniff sniff sniff sniff This won't end well.
19 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
ZIP - Garfield, they say as you age, life speeds up. - Whoa, look! I'm over here already! - Now I'm in the kitchen! - Now I'm BAK! - NOW I'M IN THE BACKYARD!!! - click
20 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I bought new curtains, Garfield. - They're for people with pets. - Pre-shredded. Well, that just saps all the joy out of life.
21 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, I lost my phone! - I feel so isolated... - And I like it! This must have been how cavemen felt.
22 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Nothing to eat around here except dog biscuits. - Oh, well, things could be worse, I guess... - LIKE NO MILK!
23 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Isn't this better than watching TV in a stuffy room? - This is reality! - Ummm...so it's like a documentary? It's called "outside"!
24 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
When I was in school, I once annoyed an old gypsy woman. - She put a curse on me. - She said I would never get a date to the prom. What a waste of a perfectly good curse.
25 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, you would look adorable with some ribbon in your hair. Excuse mse. . OW! - What was that? I clawed Jon.
26 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Garfield! Odie! Liz and I would like to be ALONE. - Outside! Shoo! - SLAM! - -
27 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I can't make up my mind. - Should I do nothing? - Or start to do something and then quit?
28 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
How can I go on like this? - We're having pizza for dinner. - THAT'S how!
29 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
ZIP - I'm a turtle. - ZIP But not a very good one.
30 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Meow - I'm taking the day off.
31 January 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz canceled our date. - And I'd already made dinner reservations. - Forget it! I'll pretty up.
1 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I have built a perfect scale model replica of the parthenon. - It took days... - ...probably shouldn't have made it out of chocolate.
2 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
And now back to our game. - Okay, Larry, here's your bonus-round question... - Can you identify this sound? - PWOINK - Huh - BOY, that sounds familiar. - PWOINK
3 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I tell you all my troubles, Garfield... - And the problem is that you can't interact. Not so, Jon. - The problem is that I don't care.
4 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - My gums hurt. FINALLY! SOME EXCITEMENT!!!
5 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Yes, I need to see the dentist. - Jon Arbuckle. - Yes, "the screamer". Dear Blog:
6 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - Teeth whitener. You're burning my retinas.
7 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Hey there, beautiful. - What?!...oh, I'm sorry. - Wrong number. That was Bob the Butcher. Way to ruin our bacon connection!
8 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I want to set a good example. - BURP! - So everyone please lower your standards.
9 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
* beedle beedle beedle - Jon, how about going out for dinner tonight? Liz - Sure! Sounds great! tic tic tic itc - Let's go to that Italian place. They have the BEST lasagna. - Good choice! - Ho, Jon! It's me! - Did I leave my phone here?
10 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz makes my heart pound. - And makes me sweaty and weak in the knees. - I think it's love. Or malaria.
11 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Know what you should never do? - Stuff popcorn in your ears. Good advice. - Huh?
12 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Sometimes I wonder if anyone knows I'm alive. - I mean, do I really exist? - Did you hear something, Garfield? She's good for him.
13 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I love being with you, Liz. Why, thank you. - I'm so happy. Me too. - Would it be inappropriate to break into song? Yes.
14 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon and I went out tonight, Garfield. - - He danced. Sorry you had to see that.
15 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I was thinking about us, Jon. - Wondering what the future holds. Yeah! - Maybe we'll have ice cream! Can I get in on this?!
16 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- It's too bad that we don't have a butler. - He could answer the door. - He could serve us our meals. - He could call us "Sir". - But it'll never happen. - Right, Garfield? That's "sir" to you.
17 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Z - Z - I shaved my eyebrows! I hate mondays.
18 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
You look a little down, Garfield. - Maybe it's time foooor... - OOO! EEE! OOO! EEE! OOO! EEE! Yes, folks, the happy monkey dance.
19 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I can't wait till friday. I have a date with Liz! - - Is it friday yet?! Where did I put the tranquilizer darts?
20 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
What a great morning, Garfield. - I feel like I can conquer the world! - I rule! Said the man in the Happy Pony pajamas.
21 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Know what I like about you, Jon? - My exceptional flossing? - The way I can cross just one eye? You're different.
22 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Here, Odie, you forgot your suitcase. - - You also forgot to leave.
23 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Would you like a donut, Liz? I'd LOVE one. - But I really shouldn't. - So you WOULD like a donut? Absolutely. - But you don't WANT one? No! No, no, NO! - - Women. They're a mystery.
24 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Gonna sneeze. - WAH-CHOO! - Good one.
25 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
In the future, cats will ruke the world. - - Still.
26 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
"Dear ask a dog..." - "How come you're so slow?" - Signed, "Squirrel in the backyard". YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP!
27 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Great news, Garfield! - I'm writing a polka opera! - Not enough cotton in the world!
28 February 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz thinks I'm sweet. - Of course she does. - It's because he's as bright as a powdered donut.
1 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Cats know life. - - That's why we avoid it.
2 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Liz, I think Garfield has a little cabin fever. - I think we all get that this time of year, Jon. - Besides, how bad could it be? - AAAAAAAAGGG - GGGGGHHHHHH - Wanna come over? Sure, how does june sound?
3 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I'm so happy! - I have a girlfriend, a faithful dog, and a... - Now I'm depressed. Maybe fixing lunch for your cat will cheer you up.
4 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - Did you have your dinner? I'm considering it.
5 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Why do I do this, you ask? BOOT! - GLRRD - I'm a fan of funny noises.
6 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
There goes Mrs. Feeny with her poor cat on a leash. - Is there anything sadder? - Except maybe the matching outfits!
7 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Who wants a cat treat? - Garfield? - How about you? Ask Jon.
8 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I have sophisticated tastes. - GULP - That was food.
9 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Ahhh... - It's sunday, Garfield! Today I'm not going to do ANYthing...just like you. - * RIIMNG - Hi, Jon, it's Liz. - Hi, Liz! - Want to do something today? Sure! I'll be right over! - SLAP! Rookie.
10 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I believe in making plans. - Lots and lots of plans. - Shouldn't you be doing something? Can't you see I'm busy?
11 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
RRRRR - You're wearing booties. - My toesies are cold. I can't let you bark at me today.
12 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I'm reevaluating things, Garfield. - What's really important? Okay... - Is it my rugged good looks? Or your vivid imagination?
13 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Good morning, Garfield. - You were sleepwalking last night. - Doinf ballet moves. Must have been the swan I ate.
14 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I wrote a love song for Liz. - It's called "I'll stay with you forever... - ...even if you try to lose me in a shopping mall". Based on a true story.
15 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
"Nothing ventured... - no effort expended". - Cat wisdom.
16 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Sigh - - SIIIIIGH - There, there, Garfield... - I know you miss it...we all do. - Just hang in there, pal. It'll be back again before you know it! - Spring? The ice cream truck.
17 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
A cat can have fun with just a piec of string. - - Not this piece of string, however.
18 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Odie's burying his bone. I have a bad feeling. - Wait, I didn't give him a bone. A really bad feeling. - And where's the remote? A really, REALLY bad feeling.
19 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Look at the pretty spring flowers, Garfield. - They whisper happy thoughts to us. - Spring is disturbing.
20 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
It's a sunny day. - No wind, perfect temperature... - Why the long face? There is nothing to complain about.
21 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Big date with Liz tonight! - And in case there's a lull in conversation... - Puppets! That should raise the creepy factor.
22 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Gee hee hee hee hee - GOO! HOO! HOO! HOO! HOO! GAA! BWAH! HAW! HAW! HAW! - You are watching the Laughing Baby Channel. This always cheers me up.
23 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- SLURK! SLURK! SLURRRRK! - SLUUUUUUUUUUU - UUUUUUUUUUUUU - UUURRRRRRRRRRR - RRRRRRKKK - OKAY! OKAY! I'LL BUY MORE LEMONADE!! And another bendy straw. This one is all slurked out.
24 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Z - Z - I gave myself a wedgie getting dressed this morning. I hate mondays.
25 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
The garden is a success! - I think I'll call him "Ed". - OR not. He didn't mean it, "Loretta".
26 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Odie is a nice dog. - He licks my face. - You never lick my face. I hardly know you.
27 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Don't mess with me, cat. I brought a bodyguard with me today. - Say hello to Bernie. - Bernie? Yo.
28 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz, I feel like doing manly things today. - Like eating junk food and watching sports! - We're going shopping. Manly shopping, no doubt.
29 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Sir? - Sir?! - YES! YES! I'LL HAVE FRIES! Oh, the pressure.
30 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
munch munch munch - Welcome back to "When Wildlife Snaps!" - Here we see a hungry bear approaching a camper... - Who forgot to keep his food in a high, safe place. munch munch - RAAWRRR! AIYEE! - - munch munch munch
31 March 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- STEP JUST A LITTLE CLOSER - That can't be anything good.
1 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
"If space aliens were to invade earth, they could take the form of animals." - - Have you come in peace? Take me to your refrigerator.
2 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
You cats are spooky, Garfield. - Some say you can read minds. - Well, not with my brain-wave blocking helmet, buddy boy! Now for my escape...
3 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Why dogs bury bones is a mystery. - - Why they dig them back up is an even bigger mystery.
4 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
The computer is a wonderful thing. - For instance... - If I turn it off, I can see an excellent refelction of myself.
5 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I never made it to my date with Liz. - The wind was against me. - Liz is one lucky woman.
6 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! - - WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! - HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE - "Finicky Eating Habits of the Cat" - WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! pound pound pound
7 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - Cat push-ups.
8 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, it's time. - Time to clean the kitchen. - The cockroaches are wearing party hats. Lot of birthdays today.
9 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
BARK! - Whoa. That was perfect! One bark? One lousy bark?! - No way to improve on that one... You're going to take a nap, aren't you?
10 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
A great meal...a nap...can life get better? - BURP! - Okay...NOW can life get better?
11 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz and I are leaving, Garfield. - Garfield? - That's strange. I can't lift the picnic basket. Oh, Jon...
12 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Madam Gortez Fortune-Telling? - Can you tell me what my future holds? - Z Hey, wake up! She's good.
13 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
tappity tappity tappity tappity - tappity tappity tappity tappity - tappity tappity tappity tappity - tappity tappity tappity tappity - tappity tappity tappity tappity - tappity tappity tappity tappity - I gotta stop drinking coffee after
14 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I should get up. - Will I? Won't I? - Savor the suspense, people.
15 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Learning is its own reward. - Seriously? - I found a dollar in a book once. Ah.
16 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Fetch the stick, Odie. - CLONK! OW! - Fetch the blame, Odie.
17 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I made toast. Do you want a slice? Sure. - Butter? Sure. - There's that weird face again.
18 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
You seem down, Liz. - I'll bet I can make you smile. - I could fall off the roof! Again? Seen it.
19 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz and I dined by candlelight. - We gazed into each other's eyes. - Then my tie burst into flames. I knew you wouldn't disappoint me.
20 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - - - - HELLO, MISTER SPRINGTIME!! - ...and he's ALL yours!
21 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
The world does not revolve around you. - You got that right, pal. - Because I told the world not to!
22 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
No one ever listens to me. - Hello?! - They hung up... Self-esteem hotline.
23 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I've almost got you, cat! - Mailman! - Thank goodness for short attention spans. SQUIRREL!
24 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
COUGH! COUGH! - Garfield! I was choking on a peanut, and you just sat there! - We have peanuts?!
25 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Who's going to say it first? - Okay, I declare a tie! - You BOTH love me!
26 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Good morning, Mister Butterfly... - THOT! - Good morning, Mister Truck.
27 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - - - KONK -
28 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I was feeling blue. - But Jon fixed that. - Now I'm creeped out.
29 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Here's a letter from a man whose best friend is actually a cat! - He likes stamp collecting and plaid. - Tell me you didn't sign it. Look, he even signed his name!
30 April 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- BOO! - Oh, real funny! Beware Of Do..---...
1 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon's trying his hand at gardening. - AIEEE! - LADYBUGS! - You knew the risks, man!
2 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I went shopping, Liz. - And I bought you a hat! Don't look at me... - IT's the Exctinct Species Collection! I dodn't make you date him, lady!
3 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Cats are natural hunters. - Lying in tall grass, waiting for prey... - ...tying to stay awake.
4 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- WARNING: - BEWARE OF DOG - WHO THINKS HE'S A LAPDOG - - WHOOMP -
5 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Not a good morning, Garfield. - I tied my shoelaces together! - Now I have to take tiny steps! You're going to have to start paying me to live here.
6 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
How would I describe Jon? - A daydreamer...kind..gentle... - ...loves gum.
7 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
BEWARE OF THE DOG - TAKE ONE - BARK!
8 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
...so he says, "that was no aardvark, that was my wife!" - boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! - Even the crickets are booing.
9 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, I feel refreshed! - I feel alive! - HOOOW ARE YOOOU? HUUUH? New mouthwash.
10 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
First message...Jon, this is Liz. - I'm relly looking forward to our date. - Oh, yeah, and leave the accordio at home. Rats! She's good.
11 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- I found this in the back of the refrigerator. I wonder if it's any good. - Here, Odie. Try some. - MMMMMMMMMM - mmmmmmmmmmmmmm - - Never use a dog as taste tester.
12 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, it's a beautiful day! - I'm putting you outside! - You can scamper about! Perhaps he's forgotten that cats have retractable claws?
13 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
vroom! - vroom! - You aren't fooling anybody!
14 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Nope - Not here either. - Where is that stupid mower?! I found the paperboy.
15 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Bark! - That's it? ONE bark? - Yeah, but it was perfection. Hey, but I know lazy when I see it.
16 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Did you notice someone cleaned your kitchen? - Well?! - Elves DO exist!! Quick, Jon! To the escape pod!
17 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
So, Liz, I'm thinking about laminating my stamp collection. - What do you think? - I thibk she hung up. LIKE AN HOUR AGO!
18 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - - - - - xoplbrqzdafelknmcsjg
19 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
The world would be a better place if spiders were in charge. - SMACK! - For starters, THERE WOULD BE LESS OF THIS!
20 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Say, if you're done with the paper... - I'd like to read the comics. - That was too obvious, wasn't it? Nice try, though.
21 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Got some news for you, cat. - You HAVE to be nice to us now... - We have a hostage! FIENDS!
22 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
(burp) Ah, what a great meal. - You, had a big ol' juicy fly. - Love those body fluids. Hey! I'm eating here!
23 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
COOKIES - Chocolate chip - A good scout is invaluable. On to the candy bowl.
24 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
* - Don't you vets take some kind of OATH?!!
25 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
COOKIES - - WOOP WOOP - - - WOOP WOOP - We're having some trust issues.
26 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Life is full of regrets, Garfield. How true. - Do you have any regrets? Yes, I do. - Maybe stealing food? Kicking Odie off the table? Squashing spiders? I never learned to type.
27 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I've invented the pie-cake-pie! - - Mmm. Not bad, although it's not quite as good as the cake-pie-cake!
28 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Oh, YUCK! - There's a tooth in my soup! - WE FOUND IT, SMILEY! I love happy endings.
29 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I have no energy, Garfield. - Maybe I should work out... - Or take a nap. Come to the dark side, Jon.
30 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
You're easy to talk to, Liz. - I could talk to you for hours. - click Hello? It's not nice to threaten people, Jon.
31 May 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I was trapped! - I couldn't breathe! - Finally I was able to break free! That dental floss should have a warning label.
1 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Z - Z** - - - Garfield, do you have to be so annoying? - Yes. I refer you to page 137 of the Standard Cat Owner Agreement.
2 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon is down in the dumps. - And I know just what to do about that. - Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
3 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Finally, the house is clean. - - Ah, the circle of life.
4 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
sniff sniff - That's odd. - Odie's breath smells good. Chasing your toothpaste with your cologne will do that.
5 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I'm back from the pet store. Do tell... - I bought you something fun! I'm giddy. - Fake dog ears! This is why good cats go bad.
6 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I love a man who can make me laugh, Jon. - Yes, I do have a sense of humor. - I'm talking about your wardrobe.
7 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I have no emails or messages. Gee. - This can only mean one thing... You have no friends? - Alien abductions? Take him! Take him!
8 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - - - - - Pizza's here! 'bout time!
9 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
It's a beautiful day! - - But the plot is weak.
10 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
My Uncle Forrest would say, "you can't know someone.. - until you've walked a mile in their shoes". - He had three hundred pairs when they caught him. That's about a seven on the creepy scale.
11 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Here's a picture of you as a kitten, Garfield. - You were so cute. I hate cute. - But for me I'll make an exception.
12 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Hello. I'm the age nightmare scheduled for this evening. - I think you want the guy in the bedroom down the hall. Thank you very much. - Pretty polite, for a bald spot. GAAAH
13 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Age nightmare? Oh, yeah. - You're a 45 R.P.M. record...I remember you. Precisely! - BWAAHHH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAHHHH!
14 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
My age nightmare is a sieve? That's right! - I'm your....um...your....uh...........your....wait, don't tell me.... - My memory? Yeah! Yeah! That's it!
15 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Welcome to your age nightmare, birthday boy! - Readig glasses? Why are you scary? Because when you need me... - You'll never remember where you PUT me! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAH! - Sorry, still not scary. Oh, no? Just wait, it gets worse! - -
16 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Nothing can stop me today! - - Except for that forgetting-what-I-was-going-to-do thing...
17 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon got me gift. - - He doesn't know it yet.
18 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
You must be my birthday nightmare. That's right. - Why only one candle? Doctor's order. - Last year I pulled a hamstring.
19 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - I got a new, extra-long chain. You don't say.
20 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I can't wait to see you, Liz. - I can't kiss you over the phone. - Oh, okay...smoochie, smoochie. Wire cutters...I need wire cutters.
21 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Is lying there all you can do? - BURP! - You disgust me. I can wiggle my toes, too.
22 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
ENTER ----> - Okay, let's see... - oooooooooooo - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - EEEEEEEE - EEEEEEEE THUNK! - I am NEVER taking you to a warehouse club again! I love you, barrel of cheeseballs! kiss kiss kiss
23 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
You know, Garfield... - I've made a few mistakes in my aardvark. - I mean "life". NOooooo...
24 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- BURP - Better go fill up again.
25 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Beware of the vicious big honking dog! - And the eight gazillion-volt electric fence! And the tyrannosaurus rex! - You should be ashamed! You weren't supposed to get this far.
26 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - Why don't you just let go? Having a cape doesn't mean I can fly!
27 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz enjoys my company. - I can understand that... - Some people enjoy broccoli, too!
28 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
The monster! It's alive! - - And he enjoys gardening. - Monsters shouldn't wear sun bonnets.
29 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Hey, guys. Hey, Irma. - SURPRISE! - It's customer appreciation day! - You get a "we finally passed our health inspection" balloon... - An "I heart mystery meat" T-Shirt... - And something really special... - An all-day antacid! I'm gett ing
30 June 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
There are jungle cats and house cats. - One thing separates the two. - Scented kitty litter. Jungle cats are barbarians.
1 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Cats love milk, Garfield. We do? - Lap it up! Any cereal to go with this? - You're not lapping. Or some sugar, corn starch, cocoa powder, salt, and egg yolks and we can make chocolate pudding.
2 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I don't feel like cooking, Garfield. - I'll just open a can or something. - "Critter parts". Any port in a storm.
3 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Big date with Liz tonight. - I'm wearing my special tie. - Pull this and it explodes! Allow me.
4 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Every morning I wake up and think... - "Today is a new and exciting day!" - Than I see you. They don't call me "Mr. Reality" for nothing, pal.
5 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
MINE! Poor Jon... - I GOT IT! I GOT IT! Will he ever learn? - YEEOOWW! "Catch the pineapple".
6 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
SMACK! - SMACK! - WHACK! - WHOP! - SWAT! - SPLAT! - Six flies, three spiders, one gnat, two grasshoppers, four moths and an earwig! - Burgers are done! Oh, no thanks!
7 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Sometimes things just don't get right for me. - There's a word for that... - "Life".
8 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
That's new. - There was a sign here last week... - "Beware of falling rocks".
9 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, I am calling you... - I am the lasagna. - NOT! Meat loaf is cruel.
10 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I have deep thoughts, Garfield. - I should write them down. - Where are my crayons? Next to your army guys.
11 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield hid my car keys. - But, HA! I found them! - Uh, Garfield? Where is the car? The game is afoot!
12 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
If you wait patiently... - - Complete boredom will arrive.
13 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Come on...come on... - I'll be late for my date with Liz! - HONK! HONK! HONK! - THANKS FOR DRIVING SO LOW, YOU MOUTH-BREATHING, KNUCKLE-DRAGGING, PEA-BRAINED IDIOT! YOU... - ...ooo - You say this is the lates fashion trend? It's called
14 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Gah. Urf. - And so the day begins.
15 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I've fallen in the old well! - If only there were a CAT who could save me! - Timmy must have landed on his head.
16 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon says he has a major announcement. - Like I care... - I've gone electric! Okay, I care a little.
17 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Help! Help! I'm stuck in a tree! - Help! Help! I'm going to fall! - I like to warm up before I get started.
18 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield likes it when you come over, Liz. - How can you tell? - He's awake. Yeah, we should erect a statue in her honor.
19 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - Why is everything wrinkled? It's called "The Odie Effect".
20 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Sigh... - I remember our family trips. - There's cousin Earl. - He was accidentally left at a rest stop. - He was missing for years. - As it turned out, he was adopted by a pack of wolves. - We got a postcard. "I have acquired a taste for
21 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, I found Pooky! - Whoa! What's happening?! - Those latent urges die hard.
22 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
My invention will benefit the world... - Lifting the yoke of oppression from pet owners everywhere! - The portable litter box! Vengeance will be mine.
23 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
ODIE! Her, Odie! Her, boy! ODIE! - WHY IS He IGNORING ME?! -
24 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Can this day get any better? - Ants have eaten all of your tofu. - Well, yes it can!
25 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz and I have become very close. - We share our deepest secrets. - Should I tell her about my limited fashoin sense? I think she knows.
26 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- YOU PUT MY GOLDFISH IN MY SHOE! - It's his birthday.
27 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Huh... - This article says that you can learn a lot from your cat. - You should try it. - - GULP! CHOMP! SNARF! - BURRRP - Z I have taught him well.
28 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
A kid stopped me today. - He asked if I was old. - I tied his shoelaces together. You have some good years left, my friend.
29 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
beep - I just got a text! - "I have an itch". My right ear.
30 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Cats know things. - For instance, I can tell that Odie's been digging. - It's like I'm psychic!
31 July 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Pudding for everybody! - Steaks on the house! A round of drinks for everyone! - Well?
1 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I love romance. - I love fudge. - You are a piece of work. Okay, your turn.
2 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon, you should plan for the future. - I made you a list of goals. - I don't see cowboy on here. That explains the hitching post out back.
3 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- I bet if I pull my big-eyes routine on Liz, I can get a snack out of her. - - - - - She's good.
4 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Fascinating! - I must be doing this wrong.
5 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Today we sent a cat into space. - This served no scientific purpose... - But there's one less cat on the planet! This does not bode well...
6 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Let the workout begin! - I bought a set of weights. - Arrrgh! I can't get them out of the car! Let the workout end!
7 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon is having thoughts. - Deep thoughts. - Do birds have fingers? Deep, disturbing thoughts.
8 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I wish Liz were here. - - And you weren't. FOR ONCE, WE AGREE!
9 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I know that accusing look. - This can't be good. - Forty-three goldfish?!! He found my diary!
10 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - - - - - Garfieeeld... Oh, sure, blame the coach...uh, I mean cat.
11 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, you'll never believe... What's that?! - Excude me, I'm needed in surgery! - I an NOT boring!
12 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Hello? Hello? - Hello? - At least once a week, Jon tries to make a phone call with the TV remote. Hello?
13 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Here comes the ice cream man. - Just in time. - Bill Brick wants a fudge bar.
14 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, Garfield, Garfield... That's my name. Don't wear it out. - Have you no control?! Give me a subject. - Did you enjoy the wax fruit?! Chewy, tasteless, yet satisfying.
15 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz is here, Garfield. - She's helping me with my wardrobe. - Do you smell smoke? Free at last!
16 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- You're in my chair. - I'm sitting in cat hair! Let the punishment fit the crime!
17 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Ahhhhh - - - Oh, all right! You can come in, too! - But just ONE pool toy! - -
18 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
It's so hot outside, you sweat just standing still! - - Finally, an exercise program for YOU. Except for that sweating part.
19 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon isn't going to be happy. - Woo hoo! Woo hoo! - The mice have been frolicking in his stamp collection. I'm Bolivia!
20 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - Grab the string, Garfield! Only if it opens a trapdoor.
21 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the... - Wait...before you even get started... - You're fat. Where's my brick?
22 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
What are you thinking about, Garfield? - Why don't they make tuna-flavored ice cream? - Nothing romantic? You wouldn't LOVE that?!
23 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz is spending the week with her parents. - Jon was very supportive. - Then the car pulled away.
24 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- HUHHHHHHH - FUH FUH FUH FUH - FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH - FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH - CLAP -
25 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
It's time for the bee-dee-dee-dee-dee cat weather report. - I'm not leaving the house, so the weather doesn't matter. - This has been the bee-dee-dee-dee-dee cat weather report.
26 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
We should go for a drive, Garfield. - A drive in the country. - We can look at a cow! Medium or well done?
27 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Don't you wish you could do this? - WHACK! SPLAT! - Doesn't look safe. You got THAT right!
28 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I joined a book club, Garfield! Soon my brain will expand! - But then I won't be able to wear hats! - And then I can't be a cowboy!!! Step away from the book, Tex.
29 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
MY ACCORDION IS MISSING! - Oh, my. How tragic. - Can you imagine anything more tragic than that, Garfield? No, nothing more tragic than that. Saaay...
30 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jump back! Who is this guy?! - I'm a wild man! - Didn't comb his hair.
31 August 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Sigh... - I wish you coulfd talk, Garfield... - Then we could REALLY communicate. - We could have discussions, and share deep thoughts. - I wonder what wisdom you woul dimpart to me if you could talk right now...what would you say? - CLOP -
1 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I would appreciate a little respect. - - You're going to make fun of me when I leave the room, aren't you? Why wait?
2 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
BURP! - Garfield, in the history of disgusting noises... - THAT is number one. I'd like to thank the academy.
3 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
When I was young, Garfield... - My brother and I made our own excitement. - One toime we exchanged underwear. I believe that this qualifies as animal abuse.
4 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Mr. Arbuckle, here's my bill for cleaning your refrigerator. - Why so much? I lost two of my best men in there. No match for the meat loaf.
5 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Really, Liz, I love all animals. - - Even the fat, lazy, disgusting ones. I heard that.
6 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I feel like biting somebody! - Socks don't have teeth. - Then maybe I'll bunch up inside a shoe. That'll work.
7 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I have a business proposition for you... - I'll pay you five bones...and make it look like an accident. - Gotcha, where is he? Hey, Nermal! - Meet my big friend. - AWWWWWWWWWWWWW - You BEAST! How COULD you?! - What happened to you? I hate
8 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
STOP IT! HA! HA! HA! - HAW! HAW! HAW! STOP IT!! HEE HEE HEE! - Okay, I'm done tickling myself. Please pay the cable bill.
9 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity. - BONK! - Shortly before discovering the lawsuit!
10 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
That was odd. - I was just hugged by a stranger. - It must be National Hug Day! Actually, it's National Check-Your-Wallet Day.
11 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, I'm setting a trap for the mice. - Three...two...one... - SNAP! YEOOW! Sound the allclear
12 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Clothes shopping is fun, isn't it, Garfield? - New pants brighten the day. - So cheer up. I hate my life.
13 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz and I are going dancing. - Oh, I forgot! - Cha-cha-cha! The woman's a saint.
14 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- ARF! ARF! ARF! What's wrong, boy? - ARF! ARF! ARF! Is it Timmy? Is he in the well? - Yes! That rotten kid is in the well! - AND I PUSHED HIM! REFUSED TO GIVE ME A NUM-NUM, WILL HE? I SHOWED HIM! I SHOWED EVERYONE! - MWA-HAHAHA! - Uh...I mean
15 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, let's take a moment to ponder life. - - My foot itches. I gues we're doing pondering.
16 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
DANGER - BEWARE OF THE... - FINE PRINT! Okay, now I'm intimidated.
17 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Gee, what's this? An empty fish bowl? Feigned surprise. - Maybe they grew legs and ran away! Right into sarcasm. - You should stop eating my goldfish, Garfield! Now the crazy talk.
18 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, I'm missing out on life. - I don't have a witty circle of friends... - Who paint their bodies and head-butt each other... Too many sports commercials.
19 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
What do you see in the future for us, Jon? - Dinner. - I mean after that. Dessert!
20 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Hip people don't follow trends, Garfield. - They create trends. - My shirt is tucked into my boxer shorts! I'm alerting the trend police.
21 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- slurp... - - BOOM! - What waa THAT?! - And where's Odie? - You mean the "Canine Cannonball"?
22 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I worry about the future, Garfield. - Life is so unpredictable. - What if I forget how to speak?! Don't try to cheer me up.
23 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Here's a picture form high school. - Look at the girls. - Remember when petticoats were in style? On what planet was that?
24 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Good evening, folks! - Tonight I would like to class up my act by singing opera. BOOO! - Or I could juggle puppies. YAY!
25 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I think it's time to clean the refrigerator. - Every time I open the door... - The music stops. I like the disco ball.
26 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Hi, Liz! - How'y my fuzzy wuzzy rubby bubby? - Okay, the nicknames need work. Rookie.
27 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
There's a pea in my mashed potatoes! - Now the whole meal is ruined! - Sometimes it's too easy.
28 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - - RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE - There! - I wonder where Garfield is? BOOT!
29 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Just look at this world, Garfield. I'm... - It's NOT a small world. Not... - You just make it seem that way! Fat.
30 September 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I went to the doctor today. - He told me to lose a few pounds. - How about a little sympathy, here? I'm weeping on the inside.
1 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Okay, so we both got on a diet. - We'll encourage each other. - Any supportive thoughts? YEAH! LET'S EAT!
2 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Know what's good about dieting, Garfield? - You walk down the street... - And people yell "Hey there, slender person!" It must be some scret society!
3 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I bought a new scale, Garfield. - It doesn't need batteries. - It's solar powered! Hello, Fatso. I must blot out the sun.
4 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
You've been on a diet for a week, Garfield. - And you've gained three pounds. - Care to explain? I ate the diet book.
5 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Oh, I know that look, you're up to something, aren't you? - Either that, or you've already done it, and it's probably something HORRIBLE, too. - Something horrible and shocking that I'm likely to find by accident any MINUTE now! -
6 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I could climb you. - And there's nothing you can do about it! - Unfortunately...
7 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Oh, look, the cat's stuck in a tree. Aw, poor kitty. - Let's peck his fingers. No! Let's tickle him! - Or grease the limb! Or saw it off! Shouldn't you be migrating?
8 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- poink - Quitter!
9 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Leaves... - Rake... - Cover the rake with the leaves.
10 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz, I lied about my past. - Actually, I've had thousands of girlfriends. - Okay, I'm still lying! And the hole gets deeper.
11 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, THIS is a scratching post. - You dig your claws in... - And go like this! If you don't want me to use your nail file, just say so.
12 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- I had a dream about us last night, Garfield. - We were having a picnic, eating sanwiches in a beautiful forest glen... - When suddenly, a huge bear jumped out and attacked us! - Than you sprang in to cation, fought him off with your bare
13 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
YAWN - I'm tired. - I stayed up too late last afternoon.
14 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - You are not the pool. Look! Tiny lounge chairs!
15 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Dog Kisses $1.00 - - Towels $2.00
16 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Ah, family heirlooms. - As the eldest son... - I now wear the family hat. Do you know where that thing has been?
17 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I like Liz. - She's kind, considerate... - And has long fingernails.
18 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Welcome to "Teen Polka Party"! - * - There's no one on the set. Another generation lost.
19 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
\|\|\|\| - \|\|\|\| - \|\|\| - \|\| - \| - yawn - Time to recharge.
20 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
It's a rainy monday morning. - However, I'm a cat and I don't have to get out of bed. - Don't hate me.
21 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
It's been a tough day, Garfield. - But remember my motto... - "Ninjas never cry". Their cats, on the other hand...
22 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Odie is angry with me. - - Take my word for it.
23 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I'm feeling down, Pooky. Any words of encouragement? - No? - Pooky's just "there".
24 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Remember when we met, Liz? Yes. - Let's re-create that moment. - Hi, I'm Jon. You're standing on my foot.
25 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Gee, isn't this lovely. - A cat hair in my soup! - What could be worse?! My hairnet?
26 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I'm cute, and you're not. Is that so? - I can be just as cute as you, Nermal. - Oh, yeah? Prove it. Just watch me. - - AWWWWWWWWWWW - Poor dear, did you eat a sick mouse? - You were saying? Go choke on a rainbow.
27 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Give my creature LIFE! - ...GIVE MY CREATURE LIFE!!! - Monster movie? Man trying to wake a cat.
28 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Count Dracula, table for one? - Right this way, please... - Would you like to see a neck list? No, zenk you. He's a regular.
29 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Arrrrr... - ROOOO! We should never have let Odie watch that werewolf movie.
30 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
The vampire cat sleeps all day. - He also sleeps at night. Z - They're not really that dangerous.
31 October 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Do you believe in ghosts? - WHERE?! - I mean, no. No, I don't. Ask him about his 23 nightlights.
1 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
The moon is full and hair is growing on my body! - Hair in my ears! Up my nose! - What's happening to me?! "Curse of the middle-aged man"...
2 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - - - - - *
3 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
It's cold, windy and raining outside. - - Outside is stupid.
4 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Modern technology is a wondrous thing. - I've forgotten how to turn the computer on! - But it will never replace good old-fashoined dumb.
5 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
!FRA -!FRA !FRA !FRA !FRA !FRA - !FRA !FRA !FRA Odie, stop barking at the mirror.
6 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
The mice wanted to go camping. - AIEEE!! - I said they could stay in Jon's slippers.
7 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Let's go do something, tonight. - Okay. - You'll have to stare off into space yourself. I'll manage.
8 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- You miss a lot of things. - A lot of things miss me.
9 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
pssssht! - gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck gluck - BURRRRRRP - GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK GLUCK - - BURRRRAAAAAP - Not everything is a contest, you know! . Said the
10 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, let's make the most of this day. - Let's live it to the fullest. - Let's open the curtains! Jon! There's sunshine out there!
11 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I'll have a Happy Burger. - And the fat lady in the fur coat? - DONK
12 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
HUNGRY CAT! - Oh, man, am I glad that he's... - THIRSTY DOG!
13 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, we're in a rut. - We need to spice things up. - I'm changing our name to Roscoe! Claw time.
14 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Some men look good in hats. - - I wonder what she meant by that. Some men would know.
15 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, let's see if we can communicate. - Concentrate and focus! - I'm sensing relaxation... Z
16 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
* - * - * - You have three new messages. - First message: - squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak - I am ALWAYS losing that thing! GARFIELD! Found it.
17 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Pets are supposed to amuse, Garfield. That's an ugly rumor. - You do not amuse. - You'd better start. You want amusement? Get a monkey.
18 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Have you ever taken a good, hard look at yourself? - - I said... Hang on.
19 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Hi, I'm a plump little chipmunk! - Would you like to play? - I like to roll in mustard! Is this a sting operation?
20 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Here's a good saying, Garfield. - "Failure is not an optin". True that. - Around here it's a way of life.
21 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Liz, why do you love me? - I have my reasons. - My ninja skills? WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE?!
22 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon's depressed. - He feels alone and scorned... - Nobody will jam with me. AND for good reason.
23 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
growlll - I'm hungry. - Are you hungry? - Me? Hungry? - Wow, that's a toughie... - Yessiree, that's a real stumper, that is. - Gosh, let me think... Thank you, Captain Sarcasm.
24 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Good morning, Mr. Grumpy. - Nothing you can do can spoil my good mood today. - * DING! Is that the toaster? Your slippers are done.
25 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Yes, I have a cat. - Yes, he's big and orange. - Yes ,he's wearing a necklace made out of canary feathers! In some cultures this signifies a rite of passage.
26 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I'm back from the store, Garfield. - Let's see...I got milk...eggs...bread... - And a ninja outfit! And people wonder why the economy is bad.
27 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I remember family holidays. - Uncle Joe would do his magic act. - He made the fruitcake disappear. No great loss there.
28 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Jon, why are you staring at me? - I can't take my eyes of you, Liz. - Could you at least blink? That's the way I stare at strawberry shortcake.
29 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, you look depresse. - Pondering a life unfulfilled? Yes. - I've never eaten a pelican.
30 November 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Sigh... - You haven't played with me in a long time. - You USED to bat me around all day long...now you just IGNORE me! - Oh, please... Well, I know when I'm not wanted! - I'm going home to my mother! - ...mother? -
1 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
(null)
2 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Doc Boy and I were crazy teenagers. - We used to drag race. - I painted flames on the tractor! Cool, yet pathetic.
3 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- WHIRRRRR - Enough with the hair dryer wars! Victory is mine!
4 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, we are prepared. - Ready for any disaster. - We have enough egg salad to last for years! I love disasters!
5 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
My aunt Orpha used to say, "Christmas comes but once a year". - Then she'd say, "never get under the mistletoe with a molting chicken". - Then she'd play the spoons on her forehead. Aunt Orpha was a few walnuts shy of a fruitcake.
6 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
"It was a stormy night..." - - There aren't any pictures. Is there a remote?
7 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Garfield! Odie! Get in here! - We're taking our Christmas card photo... - And we want everyone in it! - - The pizza guy? He's like family.
8 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I got my Christmas tree, Liz. It's covered with sticky sap. - Good, that means it's freshly cut. Where did you put it? - Right now it's in the kitchen. Pass the cream, pine boy.
9 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- - Bring on the candy canes!
10 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Okay, I'll proofread your letter to Santa! - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! - It's a little repetitious, isn't it? But it drives the point home, though. Don't you think?
11 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
xvlpdiuangepwjkud<#zhdaiow;hefgbelr(jhlSdbbaceiu% - send How cute. He thinks he's writing a letter to Santa. - One squeaky bone!
12 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Your Christmas lights look great, Jon! Thanks! - And I only fell off the ladder TWICE this year! - Our little boy is growing up.
13 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
* Fa-la-la-la-laaaaah, la-la-lah- - SMACK - I was TOLD there would be flies and cocoa!
14 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield - - - shake shake shake shake - - No Peeking - Did you find my decoy? Well played, Arbuckle.
15 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Garfield, your letter to Santa is deplorable! - It's full of half-truths and outright lies! What?! - How'd a half-truth get in there?!
16 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Did you ask Santa to bring you anything, Jon? - Oh, YEAH! - We just got an e-mail from Jon's girlfriend. Cancel the leisure suit.
17 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
...you be good now, Sonny, and I'll remember what you asked for! Thanks, Spider Claus! - Ho! Ho! Ho! ...next! -
18 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
All right, I've hidden your present again. - And THIS time I've... - STOP THAT! under the bed...how cliche.
19 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Why don't you hide Garfield's present on top of your exercise machine? He'd NEVER look there. - - The thing you hang your shirts on. Oh, THAT!
20 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Yes, mom, I guess you could say that Liz and I are serious. - How serious? - She makes me clean my house. Somebody book a chapel!
21 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Dec. 18 ** * I - Dec. 19 ** * II - Dec. 20 ** * III - Dec. 21 ** * IIII - Dec. 22 ** * \|\|\|\|\| - Hey, I LIKE that Christmas song!
22 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
(null)
23 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- X - AAAAGGGHH slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp
24 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Merry Christmas, Jon! Merry Christmas, Odie! - Where's Garfield? Merry Christmas, me!
25 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Exercise is a great way to stay warm. - That's true... - This works, too.
26 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
I think our dish should be done now...let's check the oven. - - 60-inch, high-definition lasagna. Towel, please.
27 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
Winter is nice. - The snow...the crisp air... - My socks are wet. Let the whining season begin!
28 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- pat pat pat pat pat pat - AWWWWWWW - AWWWWWWW - AWWWWWWW - Even my snowman is cuter than yours. It it not! - AWWWWWWW
29 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
- Lovable pet coming through. - You forgot to purr. I'll mail it to you.
30 December 2013

		» 1 January 2013 »
There comes a time when you have to assess yourself... - I'm awesome! - I should have done that years ago.
31 December 2013

Garfield's Birthday | New Year's Eve | New Year's Day | X-max Eve | X-mas Day