I was trapped! I couldn't breathe! Finally I was able to break free! That dental floss should have a warning label.
1 June 2013
Z Z** Garfield, do you have to be so annoying? Yes. I refer you to page 137 of the Standard Cat Owner Agreement.
2 June 2013
Jon is down in the dumps. And I know just what to do about that. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
3 June 2013
Finally, the house is clean. Ah, the circle of life.
4 June 2013
sniff sniff That's odd. Odie's breath smells good. Chasing your toothpaste with your cologne will do that.
5 June 2013
I'm back from the pet store. Do tell... I bought you something fun! I'm giddy. Fake dog ears! This is why good cats go bad.
6 June 2013
I love a man who can make me laugh, Jon. Yes, I do have a sense of humor. I'm talking about your wardrobe.
7 June 2013
I have no emails or messages. Gee. This can only mean one thing... You have no friends? Alien abductions? Take him! Take him!
8 June 2013
Pizza's here! 'bout time!
9 June 2013
It's a beautiful day! But the plot is weak.
10 June 2013
My Uncle Forrest would say, "you can't know someone.. until you've walked a mile in their shoes". He had three hundred pairs when they caught him. That's about a seven on the creepy scale.
11 June 2013
Here's a picture of you as a kitten, Garfield. You were so cute. I hate cute. But for me I'll make an exception.
12 June 2013
Hello. I'm the age nightmare scheduled for this evening. I think you want the guy in the bedroom down the hall. Thank you very much. Pretty polite, for a bald spot. GAAAH
13 June 2013
Age nightmare? Oh, yeah. You're a 45 R.P.M. record...I remember you. Precisely! BWAAHHH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAHHHH!
14 June 2013
My age nightmare is a sieve? That's right! I'm your....um...your....uh...........your....wait, don't tell me.... My memory? Yeah! Yeah! That's it!
15 June 2013
Welcome to your age nightmare, birthday boy! Readig glasses? Why are you scary? Because when you need me... You'll never remember where you PUT me! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAH! Sorry, still not scary. Oh, no? Just wait, it gets worse! -Who are you? I'm the CHAI
16 June 2013
Nothing can stop me today! Except for that forgetting-what-I-was-going-to-do thing...
17 June 2013
Jon got me gift. He doesn't know it yet.
18 June 2013
You must be my birthday nightmare. That's right. Why only one candle? Doctor's order. Last year I pulled a hamstring.
19 June 2013
I got a new, extra-long chain. You don't say.
20 June 2013
I can't wait to see you, Liz. I can't kiss you over the phone. Oh, okay...smoochie, smoochie. Wire cutters...I need wire cutters.
21 June 2013
Is lying there all you can do? BURP! You disgust me. I can wiggle my toes, too.
22 June 2013
ENTER > Okay, let's see... oooooooooooo AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE THUNK! I am NEVER taking you to a warehouse club again! I love you, barrel of cheeseballs! kiss kiss kiss
23 June 2013
You know, Garfield... I've made a few mistakes in my aardvark. I mean "life". NOooooo...
24 June 2013
BURP Better go fill up again.
25 June 2013
Beware of the vicious big honking dog! And the eight gazillion-volt electric fence! And the tyrannosaurus rex! You should be ashamed! You weren't supposed to get this far.
26 June 2013
Why don't you just let go? Having a cape doesn't mean I can fly!
27 June 2013
Liz enjoys my company. I can understand that... Some people enjoy broccoli, too!
28 June 2013
The monster! It's alive! And he enjoys gardening. Monsters shouldn't wear sun bonnets.
29 June 2013
Hey, guys. Hey, Irma. SURPRISE! It's customer appreciation day! You get a "we finally passed our health inspection" balloon... An "I heart mystery meat" T-Shirt... And something really special... An all-day antacid! I'm gett ingall mis
30 June 2013