I was trapped! - I couldn't breathe! - Finally I was able to break free! That dental floss should have a warning label.
1 June 2013
Z - Z** - - - Garfield, do you have to be so annoying? - Yes. I refer you to page 137 of the Standard Cat Owner Agreement.
2 June 2013
Jon is down in the dumps. - And I know just what to do about that. - Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
3 June 2013
Finally, the house is clean. - - Ah, the circle of life.
4 June 2013
sniff sniff - That's odd. - Odie's breath smells good. Chasing your toothpaste with your cologne will do that.
5 June 2013
I'm back from the pet store. Do tell... - I bought you something fun! I'm giddy. - Fake dog ears! This is why good cats go bad.
6 June 2013
I love a man who can make me laugh, Jon. - Yes, I do have a sense of humor. - I'm talking about your wardrobe.
7 June 2013
I have no emails or messages. Gee. - This can only mean one thing... You have no friends? - Alien abductions? Take him! Take him!
8 June 2013
- - - - - - Pizza's here! 'bout time!
9 June 2013
It's a beautiful day! - - But the plot is weak.
10 June 2013
My Uncle Forrest would say, "you can't know someone.. - until you've walked a mile in their shoes". - He had three hundred pairs when they caught him. That's about a seven on the creepy scale.
11 June 2013
Here's a picture of you as a kitten, Garfield. - You were so cute. I hate cute. - But for me I'll make an exception.
12 June 2013
Hello. I'm the age nightmare scheduled for this evening. - I think you want the guy in the bedroom down the hall. Thank you very much. - Pretty polite, for a bald spot. GAAAH
13 June 2013
Age nightmare? Oh, yeah. - You're a 45 R.P.M. record...I remember you. Precisely! - BWAAHHH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAHHHH!
14 June 2013
My age nightmare is a sieve? That's right! - I'm your....um...your....uh...........your....wait, don't tell me.... - My memory? Yeah! Yeah! That's it!
15 June 2013
- Welcome to your age nightmare, birthday boy! - Readig glasses? Why are you scary? Because when you need me... - You'll never remember where you PUT me! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAH! - Sorry, still not scary. Oh, no? Just wait, it gets worse! - -
16 June 2013
Nothing can stop me today! - - Except for that forgetting-what-I-was-going-to-do thing...
17 June 2013
Jon got me gift. - - He doesn't know it yet.
18 June 2013
You must be my birthday nightmare. That's right. - Why only one candle? Doctor's order. - Last year I pulled a hamstring.
19 June 2013
- - I got a new, extra-long chain. You don't say.
20 June 2013
I can't wait to see you, Liz. - I can't kiss you over the phone. - Oh, okay...smoochie, smoochie. Wire cutters...I need wire cutters.
21 June 2013
Is lying there all you can do? - BURP! - You disgust me. I can wiggle my toes, too.
22 June 2013
ENTER ----> - Okay, let's see... - oooooooooooo - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - EEEEEEEE - EEEEEEEE THUNK! - I am NEVER taking you to a warehouse club again! I love you, barrel of cheeseballs! kiss kiss kiss
23 June 2013
You know, Garfield... - I've made a few mistakes in my aardvark. - I mean "life". NOooooo...
24 June 2013
- BURP - Better go fill up again.
25 June 2013
Beware of the vicious big honking dog! - And the eight gazillion-volt electric fence! And the tyrannosaurus rex! - You should be ashamed! You weren't supposed to get this far.
26 June 2013
- - Why don't you just let go? Having a cape doesn't mean I can fly!
27 June 2013
Liz enjoys my company. - I can understand that... - Some people enjoy broccoli, too!
28 June 2013
The monster! It's alive! - - And he enjoys gardening. - Monsters shouldn't wear sun bonnets.
29 June 2013
Hey, guys. Hey, Irma. - SURPRISE! - It's customer appreciation day! - You get a "we finally passed our health inspection" balloon... - An "I heart mystery meat" T-Shirt... - And something really special... - An all-day antacid! I'm gett ing
30 June 2013