1 September 2013
I would appreciate a little respect. You're going to make fun of me when I leave the room, aren't you? Why wait?
2 September 2013
BURP! Garfield, in the history of disgusting noises... THAT is number one. I'd like to thank the academy.
3 September 2013
When I was young, Garfield... My brother and I made our own excitement. One toime we exchanged underwear. I believe that this qualifies as animal abuse.
4 September 2013
Mr. Arbuckle, here's my bill for cleaning your refrigerator. Why so much? I lost two of my best men in there. No match for the meat loaf.
5 September 2013
Really, Liz, I love all animals. Even the fat, lazy, disgusting ones. I heard that.
6 September 2013
I feel like biting somebody! Socks don't have teeth. Then maybe I'll bunch up inside a shoe. That'll work.
7 September 2013
I have a business proposition for you... I'll pay you five bones...and make it look like an accident. Gotcha, where is he? Hey, Nermal! Meet my big friend. AWWWWWWWWWWWWW You BEAST! How COULD you?! What happened to you? I hatecute...
8 September 2013
STOP IT! HA! HA! HA! HAW! HAW! HAW! STOP IT!! HEE HEE HEE! Okay, I'm done tickling myself. Please pay the cable bill.
9 September 2013
Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity. BONK! Shortly before discovering the lawsuit!
10 September 2013
That was odd. I was just hugged by a stranger. It must be National Hug Day! Actually, it's National Check-Your-Wallet Day.
11 September 2013
Garfield, I'm setting a trap for the mice. Three...two...one... SNAP! YEOOW! Sound the allclear
12 September 2013
Clothes shopping is fun, isn't it, Garfield? New pants brighten the day. So cheer up. I hate my life.
13 September 2013
Liz and I are going dancing. Oh, I forgot! Cha-cha-cha! The woman's a saint.
14 September 2013
15 September 2013
Garfield, let's take a moment to ponder life. My foot itches. I gues we're doing pondering.
16 September 2013
DANGER BEWARE OF THE... FINE PRINT! Okay, now I'm intimidated.
17 September 2013
Gee, what's this? An empty fish bowl? Feigned surprise. Maybe they grew legs and ran away! Right into sarcasm. You should stop eating my goldfish, Garfield! Now the crazy talk.
18 September 2013
Garfield, I'm missing out on life. I don't have a witty circle of friends... Who paint their bodies and head-butt each other... Too many sports commercials.
19 September 2013
What do you see in the future for us, Jon? Dinner. I mean after that. Dessert!
20 September 2013
Hip people don't follow trends, Garfield. They create trends. My shirt is tucked into my boxer shorts! I'm alerting the trend police.
21 September 2013
slurp... BOOM! What waa THAT?! And where's Odie? You mean the "Canine Cannonball"?
22 September 2013
I worry about the future, Garfield. Life is so unpredictable. What if I forget how to speak?! Don't try to cheer me up.
23 September 2013
Here's a picture form high school. Look at the girls. Remember when petticoats were in style? On what planet was that?
24 September 2013
Good evening, folks! Tonight I would like to class up my act by singing opera. BOOO! Or I could juggle puppies. YAY!
25 September 2013
I think it's time to clean the refrigerator. Every time I open the door... The music stops. I like the disco ball.
26 September 2013
Hi, Liz! How'y my fuzzy wuzzy rubby bubby? Okay, the nicknames need work. Rookie.
27 September 2013
There's a pea in my mashed potatoes! Now the whole meal is ruined! Sometimes it's too easy.
28 September 2013
RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE RAKE There! I wonder where Garfield is? BOOT!
29 September 2013
Just look at this world, Garfield. I'm... It's NOT a small world. Not... You just make it seem that way! Fat.
30 September 2013