1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017
 
 


 
   
Garfield

We all have our faults, Garfield. However, some may have more faults than others. Waaaay more. Is this leading to a compliment?

1 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What if the world explodes? What if these are my final moments? And I'm spending them with a cat?! If there were a button, I'd push it.

2 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

You sure are good-looking. Yes, I am! Garfield... Psst, it would be wise to say something nice to Liz, as well.

3 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I like to avoid learning something new every day. Here's something interesting. Whoa! Whew! That was close!

4 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Eat meeee. eeeeat me. Sigh... Jon, you've gotta help me. Eeeeat meeee. You're weakening, aren't you? Look, we agreed this wouldn't be easy...we BOTH have to be strong. Eeeeat meeee. DONUT BARN The heck with the resolution.Garcon, another dozen.

5 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I burned the toast... On purpose! Another hostile monday morning.

6 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Did you see my list of ways to keep the house cleaner? Yes, I did, Jon. And I wiped my feet on it.

7 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do dogs dig holes? A primal search for food? Or stashing their comic book collections?

8 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

WHEEE! WHEEEE!! Told you! I still say waxing the floor is no fun.

9 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's listening to a recording. I made it myself. I call it "Claws on a Blackboard".

10 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm turning into a cat! Wait. NO, I'm not. I'm just covered with your disgusting cat hair. What a disappointment.

11 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, look out the window... Sigh...isn't that romantic? Z Z

12 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to my world. Let me show you around. Come back soon.

13 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

My high school chums. Where are they now? What are they doing now? Probably not showing photos to their cats.

14 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

AROOOOOOO All right! I'll fill your dish! AROOOOOOO

15 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm filled with energy today! Or, as I refer to it... Beint too lazy to be lazy.

16 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, I am a man of principle. I live by one simple rule. Never stick your tongue in a toaster. We live learn.

17 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

When you eat healthy, you feel healthy. I just ate a donut. Which is WAAAAY better than feeling healthy.

18 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmmmm Here's a crazy theory, Garfield. "Cats may be invaders from another planet". I don't think so. You're too lazy to make the trip. And you'd never escape gravity. Certainly not from the planet Fatso. Where is my disintegratorgun when I need

19 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder how far I can walk... We may never know.

20 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

No tummy rub! Then why do you exist?

21 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF DOG If you please. Thank you.

22 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I feel unloved. Thanks. A teddy bear's work is never done.

23 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I are going clothes shopping. When I get back... I'll be hip! Sooo...how many years will you be gone?

24 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I am a mighty hunter. I prey on the weak and defenseless. Make me a cheeseburger!

25 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

It's called a SELFIE, guys.

26 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

There's never a dull moment around here. There are, however, dull years.

27 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

LIPS! Here we go. LIPS! Same thing every morning.. I CAN't FEEL MY LIPS! Let the coffee cool, Jon.

28 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Some dogs work for a living. SLAP! Yes, there are dogs even dumber than you.

29 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

30 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, Liz, I think men are superior to women. Well, for one, we're more mature. Hey, leave my bunny slippers out of this! Wait till she meets Mr. Blankey.

31 January 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

You are not a dweeb. You are not a miserable failure. You are not ugly. Self-esteem ringtones.

1 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

OWWOOOOOO clap clap clap clap clap clap OWOOOOOOOO clap clap clap clap clap clap OOOWOOOOOOOOO clap clap clap clap clap OOOOOOWOOOOOOOO clap clap clap clap YOWR ROWR ROWR How was karaoke night? Tough room.

2 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, hello Mr. Personality! Let the good times roll! Woo hoo! You sure do light up a room! And I'm not even trying.

3 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are mysterious... Really mysterious... What are you up to? Even I don't know.

4 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! Too lound. bark Too soft. Are you ever happy? Too whiny.

5 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

COUGH! GASP! WHEEZE! HACK! Okay, come in! Enough with the fresh air.

6 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I need only two things, Liz. The love of a good woman... And a meticulous sock drawer. Do you know him? No.

7 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

That was my pet mule. She had three legs, a glass eye, and one tooth. I miss you, Aphrodite! I must have the movie rights.

8 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... Every time I try to say something romantic to Liz, it comes out wrong. Mybe I just need to practice. You b eLiz, and I'll say something romantic to you. Let's see. How about this?... Your eyes are like deep pools of lumpybrown gravy. Wow, I'm bett

9 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm in a bad mood. And there's only one thing to do when that happens. Pass it on. Uh-oh.

10 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Whoa! Apple pie! I must check behind my back more often!

11 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's contemplating his life. The joys, the sorrows... I'll never play the bagpipes. The roads not taken...

12 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh. I take it Garfield isn't coming. "meow".

13 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

A penny for your thoughts, Jon. Are nose hairs connected to the brain? A dollar if you never ask it again. Thank you.

14 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I was wondering... They say cats are clean animals... What happened to you? I'm a rebel.

15 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Siiigh Well, there's a blizzard outside... Don't say it. We're snowe din... Don't say it. The cable TV has gone out... Don't say it. And we're out of hot chocolate. Don't say it. What ELSE can go wrong? You said it.

16 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time to put an end to... It's time to start something.

17 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I found my toolbox, Garfield! A man without tools is no man at all! Now, how does this open? Turn in your man card.

18 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I have tools, Garfield! Men and tools built skyscrapers, you know... Like with this thingy. Put it back before you hurt somebody.

19 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, that's just great! The mice are using the cat for a bed! Should I make little blankets?! There is a chill. Ignore him.

20 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's dealing with the mouse problem in a very unique way. He's trying to adapt. Today is the worst day of my life. Say cheese.

21 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

GULP! Poor thing, your dish is empty. Timing is everything.

22 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's make snow angels, Garfield! C'mon! It'll be fun! All you have to do is fall backward into the snow... And then flap your arms to make the angel wings! Watch me! Coming up next, a local man is gored by his own lawn gnome.

23 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's what you are, Garfield. "Sedentary". It means you collect dust. Use it in a sentence.

24 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, everybody, break it up! Oh. It's just you, Garfield. I am NOT fat!

25 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! snatch! hee hee hee hee New driver's license photo.

26 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Sports have always been a big part of my life. Being bad at them, I mean. Ah.

27 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! That popcorn was for everyone. And "everyone" is my middle name, baby!

28 February 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I demand respect! I respect you, Garfield. I could have demanded a pizza! SMACK!

1 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

click click click click CLICK Rats...there's nothing good in. Hi, Arlene. Hi, Garfield. Let's talk about US. CLICK

2 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Sorry, Garfield. I'm too depressed to cook. That doesn't help. What if I juggle mice?

3 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I should never have tried to make pizza from scratch! Me pizza. Me want more pepperoni. MWA-HA-HA! Too much yeast.

4 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE... OF THE CONDESCENDING DOG Okay, now I am about to bark at you. I hate him already.

5 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Why, hello, Garfield. My, my, how disappointing... I want the remote. No cheese, no remote.

6 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

The forecast is cloudy and cold. Sigh...it might snow...who knows?... WHO CARES! It's been a long winter.

7 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

MORE CLOTHES-PINS!! It's been a long winter.

8 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

. Whoa! Look at THAT! What in the world IS that, Garfield? Hey, Liz! Cmere and LOOK at this! What? In the sky...what IS that thing?! It's the SUN, Jon. It's been a long winter.

9 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

We need some entertainment, Garfield. Let's lip-synch the old opera records! We'll need viking helmets! May you sit upon one.

10 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Stop shedding! Like cats have pause buttons.

11 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I haven't seen you lately. I was asleep last month. The whole month? Well, I did toss and turn a little around the twenty-third.

12 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

* Oh, a spider's life for meeee... * ** Catcha juicy fly... * * Catch that fly, and suck it dry... * Review time.

13 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

We're a little tired this morning, Liz. All-night cartoon marathon. She thinks we're nuts. The woman's priorities are obviously out of whack.

14 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Whoa... What if you could see through your eyelids? We'll return to "Deep, Dumb Thoughts" after this message.

15 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

It's getting to be that time of year, Garfield. We really should do our spring cleaning. lick lick eee-eee eee-eee eee-eee eee-eee There. We're BACHELORS, baby.

16 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I have swept and vacuumed up all the cat hair in the house. Ah, the cycle of life!

17 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Man, I look good today! Oh, wait... I forgot to take the hanger out of my shirt. You're going to leave it in there, aren't you?

18 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

ODIE Are you losing weight?

19 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Spring is here.

20 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

The sun is shining, Garfield. The air is fresh! Not an inside day, pal. Are you implying movement?

21 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Someday, I'll be a mighty tree! You're a flower. You bloom, and then you die. I should've stayed in school.

22 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Yep, I think it is... I think it's about this time, Garfield... Time for my annual dance to spring! UNNNGHH...UFFFFFFF...EERRRRRGHHHHH... HEEP! HOOP! HUP! GUUUUUHHHHH GUH! GUH! GUH! Well, nuts. Face it, the daisy days are gone.

23 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield... It would be shame if I were allergic to cat hair. Yeah. I'd have to get rid of you.

24 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to be a butterfly. And just how are you going to do that? Uh... I know a guy.

25 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey there, buddy! Have some pudding, ol' pal, ol' pal! There's a pill in there, isn't there?

26 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Things are looking up. That's just how awful things have been lately.

27 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, why do you go out with me? Well, this is an awkward pause. I'm gathering my thoughts.

28 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I had a profound thought. Gone. Lock that door, please.

29 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, leave me alone! Go play with someone else! FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH SQUEEK SQUEEK SQUEEK SQUEEEEK SQUEEEEK SQUEEK SQUEEK SQUEEEEK GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG -

30 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I like living here. We're laid-back. No one's going to steal my brain! And somewhat insane.

31 March 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! Would you mind not listening to music while I'm barking at you? Huh?

1 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

* Jon's whistling. La lan La * Now he's singing. Care to join me for a run? Now he's doing stand-up comedy.

2 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Mouse! Kill it an eat it, Garfield! Kill and eat! Sorry, I'm more of a thaw-and-microwave guy.

3 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What if Liz breaks up with me? I can't handle rejection. Ridicule and scorn, but not rejection. You also do loathing well.

4 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Healthy Kids". Now another episode of... "Billy, the happy intestine"! Billy creeps me out.

5 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmmmm... I'll have amedium popcorn, and a medium soda. For an extra dollar, you can get both of those large, with free refills. Wow! Really? ...I'll TAKE it! What a deal, huh? And for another dollar, you can have the bottomlessnacho basket. SURE! So, how

6 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I feel lazy. Yes, come to the dark side. Maybe I need to exercise. No! No! Come back! Or eat cookies and watch TV. Yes, come to me, my son.

7 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

The ancients believed cats were good luck. They died out. Who's feeding the cats?!

8 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Before you eat me... May I borrow a marker? Sure. Okay, I'm ready. Hmmm. I didn't see that coming. IT WAS THE CAT

9 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Here we go... MOMMY, LOOK! Wait for it... IT'S A HAIRY HOG! ...and, it's biting time.

10 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Walking in the rain is so romantic. Running through the sprinklers is fun, too. That's not as romantic. Yeah, but there's less chance of a lightning strike. Score one for the paranoid.

11 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Life is going on out there... And here I sit eating donuts and watching cartoons. Reality is overrated.

12 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

** * This concludes our early movie, "Of Mice and Men". Thank you for watching. Now stay tuned for our late movie... "The Fly". -

13 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Good morning! Bagel or toast? Either way, I'm gonna burn it! BWA-HA-HA-HAAAH! Technology hates me.

14 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm back, Garfield. You haven't moved, have you? Exactly what do you do when I'm gone? Oh, gee! You just missed the pony ride!

15 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Still sleeping with your teddy bear, I see. That's kind of immature, you know... Time to grow up. Thank you, Mr. Bunny Slippers.

16 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Spiderwebs are okay, but I'm thinking of getting my own apartment. SMACK! Or an envelope.

17 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

My prom was traumatic. I had to wear dad's tuxedo. We couldn't find the pants. Nice kilt.

18 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I bought cat food, Garfield. Life is good. It's a special formula for "lazy cats". Cool. Pre-chewed. Life is VERY good.

19 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, is THAT so?! ...OH, YEAH?! HA! THAT'S WHAT *YOU* THINK!! Most people don't argue with their pets. Why, thank you! That wasn't a compliment, dimwit! SMACK!

20 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Roll over. I'm not doing this again. You want me to get flat on one side?

21 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

You never respond to my barking. What if I lie down and play dead? Gee, I feel so dog-like! Wake me in an hour.

22 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Catch me, Jon! Didn't you used to be taller?

23 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Yup, years ago I offended an old gypsy woman. She put a curse on me. "Take this cat," she said! I'm sensing negativity here.

24 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored, Garfield. Let's do something. Wanna go to the airport and pretend we're going somewhere? Like to a place with life?

25 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Whipped cream? Just when it can't get any better. PSSSS! Darn! It does.

26 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

This is a great love story. Are there car chases? It's a love story. Do they go over cliffs? It's a LOVE story. Do the cars explode? YES! THE WHOLE WORLD EXPLODES! Cool! Turn it up!

27 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Am I too late for fun? Too early?!

28 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I am a mighty oak! You're a twig. I am a mighty twig!

29 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

The Pet Channel presents... "The Cat's Pajamas"! Here's Fluffy modeling a lovely ensemble. Oh, please. I never get nice things.

30 April 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, Garfield... Surprise! It's an apple pie! I prefer surprises in pie form!

1 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz is coming over tonight. Maybe I should tidy up. Think she'll want a clean fork? Let's not get crazy, here...

2 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you think of these fangs, huh? They could be whiter. MMMM! And braking with your mouth closed is just humming.

3 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Z One sleeping dog... Z One can sneezing powder... Z Apply sneezing powder to finger... Z Apply finger to sleeping dog's nose, annnd... Z CHOO And that were dumb.

4 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Yes, this is it. And no, I don't need an assistant.

5 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Today is going to be my lucky day! WHAP! Of course, it's early yet! Always the optimist...

6 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I might have a flaw or two. I'm perfect. Tell me more about your many weaknesses.

7 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I vacuumed today, Garfield... And I discovered something. The rug isn't green. So it's not evolving?

8 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, sweetie. You're so sweet. It's Liz. I figured it was that or you were talking to a donut.

9 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I invited Sally to the prom. I don't think she wanted to go wit hme. She burned her gown on my front lawn. Subtle.

10 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, come on! You really liked that movie? Yes, I did. You CAN'T be serious! Of COURSE I am! ...men! ...women! ...dogs! -

11 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

It says here that you should greet monday morning with a smile. Or not. How about a gut-wrenching scream of desperation?

12 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Good things come to those who wait. Of course there's something to be said for that instant gratification thing, too.

13 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Life is a mystery, Garfield. So many questions. Like, what day is this? You are so cosmic.

14 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Life is a reflecting pool, Garfield. Where one can see one's true self. I have cool hair. The water must be murky today.

15 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What's your favorite polka song, Liz? Uh... I don't think I have one. Too hard to choose, huh? Just nod your head and back away slowly.

16 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm writing my memoirs, Garfield. Chapter two... That's where I get kidnapped by aliens. I suspected as much...

17 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... I've got this long list of things to do, Garfield... And all I REALLY want to do is take a long nap on the couch. But how can I do that without feeling massive guilt?! Teache me your ways, o master. Come to the sloth side,young Arbuckle.

18 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I hate mornings. I hate cheerful morning people. And I hate the old rubber omelet gag.

19 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon's on the social network. Here's his list of friends. "Bob".

20 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Where have you been? Eating lasagna. Did you save me some? Hello, my name is Garfield. I don't believe we've met.

21 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, my high school garuation. I remember when they called my name. "Ron Arbuckle". Thanks for sharing, Ron.

22 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I like having Liz around, Garfield. She's very thoughtful And she doesn't shred the curtains. Just wait.

23 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's a delicious burger that I'm leaving next to you. I hope you don't eat it! Why don't you just throw the tofu away?

24 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

click I chewed my owner's slippers. I'm too cute for words. I steal cheese. I'm a fat, lazy pig. I posted a stupid picture of my cat.

25 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Monday... TONK GOOSH At least it's reliable.

26 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP! tick tick tick tick You don't have to text me EVERYTHING you do!

27 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I lent Odie a book. I gave Odie a book.

28 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

We'll save you! That isn't necessary! I'm fine, thank you! Are you sure?! Never trust dogs with ladders.

29 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, what are you trying to tell me? Is there danger? Do NOT go to the beach!

30 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Tonight's horror movie... "Claws of Death!" Oh, look, Howard, a little kitten! Run, Howard, run.

31 May 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Z Z MMMPH! MMMMPH! STOP IT! I'll stop it when your face stops being warm.

1 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

You have a choice of alarms this morning. Do you prefer humorous or practical? Humorous. Did you hear the one about the cat and the lawn mower? I hate mornings.

2 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I need a new hobby. Bottle cap collecting wasn't exciting enough for you? Maybe I can take up bird watching! I can see the headline now... Or identify different types of wood! "Local cat found bored to death near binoculars".

3 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF THE DOG You saw the sign, right? This is how I beware.

4 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, where is my fish? By now? Somewhere between the esophagus and the duodenum.

5 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

All we have is noodles, so we're having noodles tonight, Garfield. The forks are dirty, but we can use these pencils like chopsticks. And the napkins are still in the laundry, so... Will you please get married!

6 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I like it better when we have mice.

7 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... Hey, Odie, I'm stuck. Can you help me out? -

8 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm in charge around here. Nobody else wanted the job.

9 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Moss always grows on the north side of a tree. Who cares? Which side does the taffy grow on?

10 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie isn't going outside today. The tough squirrels are out there. Las time, they forced him to gather acorns.

11 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Someday I'll get what I deserve. WAIT! I want something WAY better than that.

12 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Another age nightmare? Yep. You don't look very scary to me. Oh? I'm the menu you can't read without the glasses you can't find. I stand corrected.

13 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

You? You can't POSSIBLY be an age nightmare. Oh, but I am... I'm that awful music that kids today listen to! Go away.

14 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

GUH! GAH! GAH! UNGGGGHHH GRUNT...GRUNT...EEEEERRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH HUP! HUP! HOOP! Getting out of bed gets harder every year, doesn't it? Blow it out your box spring.

15 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

You're tonight's age nightmare? Yupper-do. But you're coffee. Coffe's not scary. Oh, no? I'm decaf, with nonfat milk and artificial sweetener. YAAHH

16 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

...so you're my age nightmare tonight? What are you? I'm fine print! BWAH-HA-HA-HAAAH! mmmfff! mmmffff!

17 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Let me guess...tonight's age nightmare? That's me! I'm the jar of pickles that you can't open any more! And you? I'm the package of batteries you never COULD open.

18 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't fel like getting older. Maybe if I change the year, I'll get younger on my birthday. Garfield, have you seen my pacifier?

19 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm in the mood for romance. I'm in the mood for pancakes! ROMANTIC pancakes! Good save, Romeo.

20 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Xou know what would be fun? Letting your cat sleep? We could lie on the front porch... And sleep? And pretend that we're doormats! That say "beware of sleeping cat".

21 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Z BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP click Here are your breakfast lawn gnomes, Garfield. And here's your breakfast guitar. I'm still asleep, aren't I? Ya think?

22 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm tired of the daily grind. Oh, me, too. You probably don't even know what that means. I'm tired of hearing about it.

23 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Another wildlife show. Always the sam ething. I get a craving for antilope.

24 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Hey! I'm not done yet! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! You didn't have to go back to the beginning.

25 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

We insects have six legs. You have eight legs. Technically, yes... If you count the spares.

26 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Today I put hats on my feet and a shoe on my head. On purpose? I told you she'd ask!

27 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

ding ding ** Ice cream man! How? Here's your wallet.

28 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie, I need for you to eat these left socks. Guys, make these pens disappear. Aye, aye, sir. Hold up, Squeak...this remote goes under the couch. Got it. You think you can get these keys on top of the fridge? Sure thing, boss. Howcan one person lose so m

29 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

There's a whole world out there, Garfield... Just waiting to be experienced. But that would require going outside. Always a catch!

30 June 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I helped an elderly lady across the street today. I looked both ways before crossing, but I didn't look down... There was this open manhole... Stop right there!

1 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

dig dig dig dig mmmmm YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! It's war.

2 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

M I didn't have the energy for a whole "meow".

3 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

We had a great time at the amusement park. The hot dogs...the popcorn... ...the roller coasters...

4 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I knew that cupcake would come unstuck from the ceiling eventually.

5 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

click Welcome to "Adorable Animals." Here's a puppy who just can't stay awake! And two kittens who snuggle together in a sunbeam... As squirrels and bunnies frolic together in the garden outside! That's it for this week's "AdorableAnimals&q

6 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, it's monday, and you know what that means... Something bad's bound to happen sooner or... *

7 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you saying nice things about me in your memoir? I'll give you a cany bar. "Jon Arbuckle, my hero."

8 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Zoom Seemed appropriate.

9 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I have a sore throat. So... BARK And... NOT SCARED

10 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I are going to the museum. And cats aren't allowed. That was our idea.

11 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! It's good to be back home! Wait a minute! I never went anywhere! Cue the scary music.

12 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

You want to play? Fetch the ball, Odie! That's not the ball I threw. plop That's not it, either. That's not even close. Even I've forgotten what he was supposed to fetch.

13 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What will it take to make you go away? Food has historically proven to be an effective motivator.

14 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm a pretty hip dude. So... Wait, I'm still processing that last comment.

15 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going hang gliding! The house is mine!

16 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm starting to suspect that this isn't my hat. I wouldn't jump to conclusions, Jon. Maybe that's not your head.

17 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark That's it. Gotta go! And the weekend begins.

18 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

My, this is interesting. There was a fish in this bowl... And now there isn't. He said something about getting a condo.

19 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! THUD BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! THUD -Guys, give the poor dog a break.

20 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BLAT Coffee wore off, eh? Who told?

21 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

My new girlfriend is from another country. Another country? She lives in the basement. Does she speak English?

22 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Someday we may be visited by creatures from another planet. I hid the cookie jar.

23 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Mmm Whole wheat! Mmm Whole bacon!

24 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What have you been up to, Jon? I've been dating you. I already knew that. That's all he got, lady.

25 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

We're out of ketchup... So I put whipped cream on your sandwich. He knows me well.

26 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

C'mon, boys, let's go for a walk. It's a gloomy day, but at least it isn't raining. Well, at least it isn't snowing. Well, at least it isn't hailing. tok tok tok tokWell, at least there isn't lightning. tok tok CRACK! How aboutstopping there, jinx-boy! I'

27 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I just had a profound thought!... Darn! May it rest in peace.

28 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Practical Jokes"! Ted has put a squirrel in his wife Cindy's purse. Let's watch... Uh, Cindy, do you have any gum? And the number of a good divorce lawyer?

29 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Arf Arf Arf Arf Private conversation.

30 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats can sense when something is wrong. SMACK! Ow! That hurt! I knew that...

31 July 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz and I rode a roller coaster today. It went way up in the air... And then went way down. Am I blinking? Not yet.

1 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hard-core sports fans are crazy. But hard-core game show fans are even crazier. AARDVARK! AARDVARK! AARDVARK! And the answer is "Platypus".

2 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what the water temperature is? Could be ice-cold, you know. Could be. I guess there's only one way to find out. Yeah. Man, I hate to do this. No prob. I'll do it. Well? How is it?

3 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

DO SOMETHING WITH THE MICE, GARFIELD! OKay. Having dinner is not what I meant! Well, then, I guess that we should have been a little more specific, shouldn't we?

4 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I heard of a cure for stress. Relaxing your facial muscles. Ah, that's better. For you, maybe.

5 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Why do dogs bury bones?... dig dig dig Nobody knows. Hang on...

6 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I think it's flea season. I feel itchy. And I see tiny ladders.

7 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you ever put your shoes on before your socks? No. Oh, me neither! Uh-huh.

8 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Help Wanted Just what I need! Bring me a cheeseburger and a strawberry milk shake.

9 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

CLICK HEY! The Mad Photobomber strikes again!

10 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Fear me, world! toing! Almost forgot that part.

11 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Swindell Pizza? I'd like a large pepperoni! No, I don't need a two-liter of soda. Just... No, I don't need any wings with that. No, I don't want any breadsticks, either, Just the pizza. AND JUST WHY WOULD I NEED A SERVICE PLAN FORA PIZZA?! The old

12 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm ordering a pizza. What should I get? Yes, could I get a large...mushroom pizza... With frogs...and make it sad? So much for chicken and onion.

13 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy slap-in-the-back-of-the-head day! SLAP! NOT one of Jon's favorite holidays.

14 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz put me on a healthy diet. She thinks I'm sticking to it, but I'm not. I feel so guilty. Donuts help.

15 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to spend the say seeing the world like you! Welcome. There's not much to do down here, is there? Now you're getting it... Z And now you've got it.

16 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

** ** Sigh... Jon, we've spent all morning inside watching TV. It's a beautiful summer day... We shouldn't be in here...we should be OUTSIDE! You know, you're right. **

17 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

sip sip ZANG ZONG OWOOOO We like our coffee strong enough to fight crime.

18 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Mime Pizza? I'd like a large pepperoni. Hello? I'm not suer if I just ordered a pizza or not. Let's hope the delivery boy doesn't have to walk here against the wind.

19 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Odie...fetch the stick! CHOMP AFTER I throw it, if you please...

20 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to lift weights, Garfield. Oops, too late now. That was close.

21 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

How's my sweety, weety, wizzy Liz? CLICK CLICK CLICK How's my widdle love pumpkin? CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK Excuse me one moment. CLICK CLICK CLICK Stupid remote.

22 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to spend the day on all fours, so I can see the world as you do! Be my guest. Wow, everything looks so big... And you have a LOT of lint in your world. Yeah, people shed, too.

23 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Gizmo Precious Garfield Mittens Pumpkin Ah, your obedience school yearbook... I remember Mittens. Yeah, there's a weirdo in every class.

24 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes, when I watch the news, I think that humanity might be in trouble. But then I look out the window on a bright, sunny day... Adn I KNOW it's in trouble.

25 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Food. Thanks for pointing that out.

26 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Once upon a time there was a house with a man, a dog, and a cat. The man was thin, the dog was happy, and the cat was fat. Then the cat ate my breakfast, and the dog chewed up my slippers this morning! This sounds familiar.

27 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Do not be jealous of my awesomeness. Oh, okay, go ahead!

28 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz cares about me. She put me on a healthy diet. Now I'm going to care about you. Vent your hsotility elsewhere, Slim.

29 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

If you want me to move, just say so.

30 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Mmmmm...a nice nap outside, why don't I do this more often? FOO! plip SMACK! BEAT IT! It was him, daddy! Ah, yes, this is why.

31 August 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, at least monday's over. RIP I'll be going back to bed now.

1 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Stop right there! You are lookin' GREAT today! Back atcha!

2 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Odie, get ready, annnd... FETCH YOURSELF! GARFIELD!

3 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, world's fastest pizza? I'd like a large pepperoni... Um... ZHOOP With extra cheese. These guys are good.

4 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not sure Liz thinks that I'm suave. Nonsense! BURP! scratch scratch scratch sniff sniff You seem suave to me.

5 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I've got nothing to do. Nope...nothing...nothing at all... Did I mention that I've got nothing to do? YOU COULD SHUT UP!

6 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff This has been "The Dog Show". click Welcome to "The Cat Show". Z Z

7 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Are you going to lie there all day? That's the plan. You won't get anything done like that. Also part of the plan. You're going to disintegrate into a big pile of dust and just blown away! Someone's leaked the plan!

8 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

And now, to explain the meaning of life, here's Odie. Z I've never felt closer to you.

9 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What a great night, huh, Garfield? My aunt Walburga used to say the stars were tiny fairies who watch over us and bring us good luck. Then she stepped right off the edge of the canyon. I'm going home now.

10 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liverwurst...horseradish...and anchovy paste! Voila! The perfect sandwich! How come you're not answering your phone?

11 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Where can we go on vacation this year, Garfield? Aside from a lasagna factory. That's a stumper.

12 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

YAH! This puddle was deeper than it looked! Like he needed to point that out. A little help...

13 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

1983 1989 1995 2004 2011 By, have WE ever had boring lives. Oh, I don't know...remember the moustache?

14 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to read Jon's mind. He wants me to eat the last cookie.

15 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Beware Of Shy Dog You can come out now. I can still hear you.

16 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Now, order the pizza. I'd like a large pepperoni with extra cheese, please. Next, we sit on the couch, pop jelly beans, and wait. My favorite cooking show.

17 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Boy, it's dark outside! That's the closet.

18 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm bored. Let's go someplace where we can meet some GIRL sock puppets! I'll do all the talking. I'll try not to put a crimp in your style.

19 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm. Must be lunchtime.

20 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thubk! GAH! YAAAHHH! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! THUNK! GAAHHHHHH That'll show that old nail!

21 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Deep Thoughts". Do space aliens get acne? Good night from "Deep Thoughts".

22 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe we should take separate vacations this year. I will go somewhere fun. Because you will not be there.

23 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF DOG And I need to beware of you because... Because I have the sniffles! Ah-choo! I guess a guy's gotta make a living.

24 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Severe weather is in the area. ** DING-DONG! Don't answer that!

25 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Donuts are bad for you, you know. They aren't as bad for me as I am for them.

26 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I've had worse.

27 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi, my name's Finn! What's your name? I just moved in today! Is this a nice place? Do you like it here? It looks like we're going to be roomies! I hope you don't snore, or like loud music... He just might be too stupid to eat. Youdon't talk much, do you?

28 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

It's strange, Garfield. Every time I go into the pet store... The goldfishes scream. Did you pick a big, juicy one?

29 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

See this fish, Garfield? This is the last fish I'm buying. Understand what I'm saying? I should savor it?

30 September 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh-oh! I'm going to make a run for it! There seems to be a teensy flaw in that plan.

1 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Just as a thought! The life span of a goldfish is seven years. Not two minutes! It was a rich and full life.

2 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I remember a happy fishbowl. I remember a frisky little fish Where have all the memories gone? Is this a country song?

3 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, remember aunt Frieda's egg salad from last Christmas? And the apple cobbler from your birthday, next to the summer salad? Oh, and there's a piece of mom and dad's wedding cake! Time to clean out the fridge.

4 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD How cute...Garfield is posting photos of his dinners. GARFIELD GARF Saaay, that looks like mine. Burp

5 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN! Can you try to be a little more personable? Yes, I can. If you can be a little less dull.

6 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

How was your food? Forgettable. Mind refreshing my memory?

7 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF THE HIDDEN DOG You don't look very well-hidden. I'm not. I'm also not the one to beware of.

8 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I want to watch TV. Let go of the remote. You can do this. Could we have a moment alone first?

9 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Someday I'd like to visit the moon. But you don't have to pack my things just yet!

10 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield acts much nicer when you're here, Liz. Really? Are you leaving soon?

11 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I LOVE your work!

12 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, these are the good old days. I'm going back to bed. Already there.

13 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Run for your lives! And bring me back a meatball sandwich!

14 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

FREE PUPPIES Still overpriced.

15 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon went to the dentist. I can always tell. There's a subtle change in his dining habits.

16 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

If you could live in another time, when would it be, Garfield? Hmmm I'd have to go with this morning, when we had donuts.

17 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Z MMMPH! And happy dreams to you, too, Jon.

18 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

** We interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin. Authorities are reporting what appears to be a freak gardening accident. We have a reporter at the scene now..Stu, what can you tell us? Well, Laryy, it seems that a localman has his head stuck

19 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm very sure of myself. Sort of. Kind of...maybe...unless somebody's against it. Just stop talking.

20 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't hit me. Or kick me. Or scratch me. No problem. Or bite me. OH, COME ON!

21 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Lies! All lies! Except for the fifth "Yip".

22 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

claw claw claw Stop clawing the couch, Garfield! claw claw claw Stop clawing the curtains, Garfield! claw claw claw I DIN'T MEAN GO BACK TO THE COUCH!!!

23 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

My lips are chapped! Now I can't kiss Liz! Great news!

24 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, there's an old saying... "A lazy cat gathers no donuts". That's why you are here to serve me.

25 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish I could just lie there doing nothing like you, Garfield. Look at me...I'm a lazy cat! I don't move for hours at a time... Staring off into space... Totally useless. -Well, I guess I'll go eat my lunch. That's what you (burp)think.

26 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

A ghost! I'm not a ghost, I'm a talking sheet. And your little friend? Oh, he's a talking pillow-case. Hi! Channel changer, do your thing.

27 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

The monster! It's alive! Yawn! Got any of those cheese crackers? Sounds like something I wrote.

28 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

When the moon is full, I turn into a wolf! Then I can scratch the back of my head with my foot. Ooooo! That feels good! scritch scritch scritch THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SCARY MOVIE, YOU KNOW!

29 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Welcome to "Cat Channel Cinema". Tonight's film, "The Day The Can Opener Died". How was the movie last night? It was a weeper.

30 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, there's a creepy noise in my closet! Maybe it's a monster! Not to worry. What should we do? Your wardrobe will kill it.

31 October 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

When did we get new curtains?

1 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What was THAT all about? Cute people walked by.

2 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to get up! So? "Time to get up"...that really frosts me! Like I have a job! I'm a cat! Why would I have to... Pancakes. ZIP

3 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Good evening, and welcome to... Pregnant Pause Theater. Ready...aim...

4 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

ODIE Yes, dog food is SUPPOSED to look disgusting. SLURP GULP CHOMP! NARF!

5 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I've been thinking... WOW! And they said it couldn't be done! And... There's MORE?!

6 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Wow, Garfield, have you lost weight? You look like you've packed on a few pounds there. Awww...back already? I like liars.

7 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you think of my outfit? Well? Hang on. I'm working up a hairball.

8 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

patta patta patta patta patta patta patta runna runna runna runna runna runna runna BOING! BOING! -

9 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Is that all you're doing today? I made an appearance.

10 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you have a bad habit. You leave the refrigerator door open. I'm trying to save energy! So am I!

11 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear ask a dog"... Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! That wasn't the question.

12 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

ZOO Do Not Feed The Animals No point going in there.

13 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

HI, LIZ! HELLO! GREETINGS! HOLA! HOWDY-DOO! ALOHA! WHAT'S SHAKIN'? HOW'S IT GOIN'?! NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US, WE'RE GOING TO RUN UP AND DOWN THE BASEMENT STAIRS 500 TIMES! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP!CLOMP! Triple-shot lat

14 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Salad can't be trusted.

15 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Phone, find local fitness centers. Just a moment. I have located three. What would you like to do? I'd like to join one. YOU?! YES, me! I'm VERY health conscious! Oh, really? You have twenty-seven pizza parlors on speed dial. Mysmartphone is smarter than

16 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

THE CAT IS A FINK I want whoever did this CAUGHT! Right away, sire.

17 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Pest control? There's a rat in my basement. Yes, you're absolutely right. I SHOULD get a cat. Cats shed.

18 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Maybe the rat in the basement will just leave. It's hanging pictures.

19 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, rat, I'm coming down.! CLICK I hate it when they turn the lights on and set out a welcome mat.

20 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

The rat in the basement is leaving. Yes! I knew I could get rid of him! He says he can't stand a whiny cat. You work with what you got.

21 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

It's hard to keep up with all the changes in the world. I hear you. You should do what I do... Pretend they never happened.

22 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield! A falling star! If you make a wish on a falling start, it will come true. Did you make a wish? FLOMP Yes.

23 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm awake! And they say it couldn't be done!

24 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello? ...no, there's no Peggy here. No, ther enever was a Peggy here. No, I will NOT pretend to be Peggy! I love wrong numbers.

25 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Well, nothing's moving. I have high standards when it comes to cat food.

26 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm making grandma's special soup, Garfield. I'm trying to follow her recipe. Where do I get a coyote? We can substitute witch chocolate cake.

27 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Die time, Garfield. And just as I reach my target weight!

28 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Cat treats are a greater invention than the wheel. WHOA!... A wheel made from cat treats!

29 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff SNORK! CHOO! SPLAT! YAAAAAHH WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP This happens all the time.

30 November 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes winter can seem gray, dull, lifeless, cold and unforgiving. But then along comes Christmas. And along comes Jon. A little help...

1 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

So this is your shopping list? No. That's the index.

2 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What would you like for Christmas, Odie? A chewy bone, or a squeaky bone? Odie? I think he locked up.

3 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Santa will be soon here. With presents for everybody who's been good. And me! And you.

4 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What's this? I'm sending Santa a picture of me. Not a very good likeness. Okay, I added the halo.

5 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing lasts forever. Wrong! Fruitcake doesn't count!

6 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

To: Santa From: Me Dear Santa, I have been good all year. Please see attached photos. pat pat X This is fraud, you know... Shut up and smile.

7 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Santa Claus knows whether you've been good or bad. He's a fat guy who does nothing 364 days out of the year. You haven't been very good. Who is HE to judge ME?!

8 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I've heard that Christmas calories "don't count". I say that should also apply to the days of the week. How can you eat so much? Tuesday calories don't count.

9 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Look, Garfield, a banana slicer! Think Liz would like that for Christmas? Why do you look at me like that? Would you rather I rolled my eyes?

10 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, how about this for Liz? ... A wrinkle cream holiday gift set! You're going to be a lonely, lonely old man.

11 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh...I never know what to get Liz for Christmas, Garfield. Look, you be her, and I'll try some gift ideas out on you. Fine. Teeth whitening strips! I think we should see other people.

12 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Ho! Ho! Ho! I bet Spider Calus knows what YOU want for Christmas! SCHWOP ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES!

13 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

* ding! ZIP SMOOOOOOOCH Christmas cookie oven timer.

14 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What's this? My Christmas list. Nobody makes a cheese danish that big. Then it's time somebody started!

15 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Arbuckle holiday tradition number one... AAAAGGHHH! Eeeeevery year.

16 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Arbuckle holiday tradition number two... slam! Caroling.

17 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

We now return to "Dick, the Cat Who Didn't Save Christmas" Dick, stop clawing the waterbed! Oh, no! The presents are all soaked! All right, Dick! Now go swat the ornaments off the tree!

18 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, I just don't know what to get you for Christmas! Oh, Jon, YOU'RE all I need for Christmas. Maybe she could exchange you for something good.

19 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

The holidays are a time for peace and love... So how's about a hug, tubbo? How's that hugging thing workin' for you, Larry? Blow it out your jingle bell, Carl.

20 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's see now... Tree decorated...check. House lights up...check. Presents wrapped...check. Stocking hung from chimney...check. TOING Santa trap tested...check.

21 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD! Hey, they needed an alto.

22 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Santa's Pizza? I'd like to order a large pepperoni! Why is it called Santa's Pizza? WHUMP! Ah.

23 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Presents...cookies...eggnogg... Is there anything about Christmas I DON'T like? smooooooooooooch

24 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

It's Christmas! The one day of the whole year... when shredding is not frowned upon. Garfield

25 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I ate so much I can't move. Me too. Best Christmas ever. Ever.

26 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Hi! I'm your holiday overeating nightmare! MUAH-HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAH! But what ARE you? The last belt notch.

27 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

What do you want to do for new year's eve, Liz? How about dinner and dancing? I think I'd be happy just ordering pizza and staying home with you, Garfield and Odie. Are you sure? Because I could get a pet sitter, and WHOP! Was Isaying something? Yeah, bu

28 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

I got my wife a treadmill for Christmas. That's nice. Why are you standing out here in the snow? I got my wife a treadmill for Christmas.

29 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

2009 has sure been a long year. We gotta get a new calendar.

30 December 2014
 
 
   
Garfield

Mine is to not be so clumsy. THUD Resolutions are SO hard to keep.

31 December 2014
 




Garfield's Birthday | New Year's Eve | New Year's Day | X-max Eve | X-mas Day