Sometimes winter can seem gray, dull, lifeless, cold and unforgiving. But then along comes Christmas. And along comes Jon. A little help...
1 December 2014
So this is your shopping list? No. That's the index.
2 December 2014
What would you like for Christmas, Odie? A chewy bone, or a squeaky bone? Odie? I think he locked up.
3 December 2014
Santa will be soon here. With presents for everybody who's been good. And me! And you.
4 December 2014
What's this? I'm sending Santa a picture of me. Not a very good likeness. Okay, I added the halo.
5 December 2014
Nothing lasts forever. Wrong! Fruitcake doesn't count!
6 December 2014
To: Santa From: Me Dear Santa, I have been good all year. Please see attached photos. pat pat X This is fraud, you know... Shut up and smile.
7 December 2014
Santa Claus knows whether you've been good or bad. He's a fat guy who does nothing 364 days out of the year. You haven't been very good. Who is HE to judge ME?!
8 December 2014
I've heard that Christmas calories "don't count". I say that should also apply to the days of the week. How can you eat so much? Tuesday calories don't count.
9 December 2014
Look, Garfield, a banana slicer! Think Liz would like that for Christmas? Why do you look at me like that? Would you rather I rolled my eyes?
10 December 2014
Garfield, how about this for Liz? ... A wrinkle cream holiday gift set! You're going to be a lonely, lonely old man.
11 December 2014
Sigh...I never know what to get Liz for Christmas, Garfield. Look, you be her, and I'll try some gift ideas out on you. Fine. Teeth whitening strips! I think we should see other people.
12 December 2014
Ho! Ho! Ho! I bet Spider Calus knows what YOU want for Christmas! SCHWOP ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES!
13 December 2014
* ding! ZIP SMOOOOOOOCH Christmas cookie oven timer.
14 December 2014
What's this? My Christmas list. Nobody makes a cheese danish that big. Then it's time somebody started!
15 December 2014
Arbuckle holiday tradition number one... AAAAGGHHH! Eeeeevery year.
16 December 2014
Arbuckle holiday tradition number two... slam! Caroling.
17 December 2014
We now return to "Dick, the Cat Who Didn't Save Christmas" Dick, stop clawing the waterbed! Oh, no! The presents are all soaked! All right, Dick! Now go swat the ornaments off the tree!
18 December 2014
Liz, I just don't know what to get you for Christmas! Oh, Jon, YOU'RE all I need for Christmas. Maybe she could exchange you for something good.
19 December 2014
The holidays are a time for peace and love... So how's about a hug, tubbo? How's that hugging thing workin' for you, Larry? Blow it out your jingle bell, Carl.
20 December 2014
Let's see now... Tree decorated...check. House lights up...check. Presents wrapped...check. Stocking hung from chimney...check. TOING Santa trap tested...check.
21 December 2014
GARFIELD! Hey, they needed an alto.
22 December 2014
Hello, Santa's Pizza? I'd like to order a large pepperoni! Why is it called Santa's Pizza? WHUMP! Ah.
23 December 2014
Presents...cookies...eggnogg... Is there anything about Christmas I DON'T like? smooooooooooooch
24 December 2014
It's Christmas! The one day of the whole year... when shredding is not frowned upon. Garfield
25 December 2014
I ate so much I can't move. Me too. Best Christmas ever. Ever.
26 December 2014
Hi! I'm your holiday overeating nightmare! MUAH-HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAH! But what ARE you? The last belt notch.
27 December 2014
What do you want to do for new year's eve, Liz? How about dinner and dancing? I think I'd be happy just ordering pizza and staying home with you, Garfield and Odie. Are you sure? Because I could get a pet sitter, and WHOP! Was Isaying something? Yeah, bu
28 December 2014
I got my wife a treadmill for Christmas. That's nice. Why are you standing out here in the snow? I got my wife a treadmill for Christmas.
29 December 2014
2009 has sure been a long year. We gotta get a new calendar.
30 December 2014
Mine is to not be so clumsy. THUD Resolutions are SO hard to keep.
31 December 2014