Sometimes winter can seem gray, dull, lifeless, cold and unforgiving. - But then along comes Christmas. - And along comes Jon. A little help...
1 December 2014
So this is your shopping list? - No. - That's the index.
2 December 2014
What would you like for Christmas, Odie? A chewy bone, or a squeaky bone? - - Odie? I think he locked up.
3 December 2014
Santa will be soon here. - With presents for everybody who's been good. - And me! And you.
4 December 2014
What's this? I'm sending Santa a picture of me. - - Not a very good likeness. Okay, I added the halo.
5 December 2014
Nothing lasts forever. - Wrong! - Fruitcake doesn't count!
6 December 2014
To: Santa From: Me - Dear Santa, I have been good all year. Please see attached photos. - - pat pat - X - - This is fraud, you know... Shut up and smile.
7 December 2014
Santa Claus knows whether you've been good or bad. - He's a fat guy who does nothing 364 days out of the year. - You haven't been very good. Who is HE to judge ME?!
8 December 2014
I've heard that Christmas calories "don't count". - I say that should also apply to the days of the week. - How can you eat so much? Tuesday calories don't count.
9 December 2014
Look, Garfield, a banana slicer! Think Liz would like that for Christmas? - - Why do you look at me like that? Would you rather I rolled my eyes?
10 December 2014
Garfield, how about this for Liz? ... - A wrinkle cream holiday gift set! - You're going to be a lonely, lonely old man.
11 December 2014
Sigh...I never know what to get Liz for Christmas, Garfield. - Look, you be her, and I'll try some gift ideas out on you. Fine. - Teeth whitening strips! I think we should see other people.
12 December 2014
Ho! Ho! Ho! I bet Spider Calus knows what YOU want for Christmas! - SCHWOP - ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES!
13 December 2014
- * ding! - ZIP - - SMOOOOOOOCH - - Christmas cookie oven timer.
14 December 2014
What's this? My Christmas list. - - Nobody makes a cheese danish that big. Then it's time somebody started!
15 December 2014
Arbuckle holiday tradition number one... - AAAAGGHHH! - Eeeeevery year.
16 December 2014
Arbuckle holiday tradition number two... slam! - - Caroling.
17 December 2014
We now return to "Dick, the Cat Who Didn't Save Christmas" - Dick, stop clawing the waterbed! - Oh, no! The presents are all soaked! All right, Dick! Now go swat the ornaments off the tree!
18 December 2014
Liz, I just don't know what to get you for Christmas! - Oh, Jon, YOU'RE all I need for Christmas. - Maybe she could exchange you for something good.
19 December 2014
The holidays are a time for peace and love... - So how's about a hug, tubbo? - How's that hugging thing workin' for you, Larry? Blow it out your jingle bell, Carl.
20 December 2014
Let's see now... - Tree decorated...check. - House lights up...check. - Presents wrapped...check. - Stocking hung from chimney...check. - TOING - Santa trap tested...check.
21 December 2014
- GARFIELD! - Hey, they needed an alto.
22 December 2014
Hello, Santa's Pizza? I'd like to order a large pepperoni! - Why is it called Santa's Pizza? - WHUMP! Ah.
23 December 2014
Presents...cookies...eggnogg... - Is there anything about Christmas I DON'T like? - smooooooooooooch
24 December 2014
It's Christmas! - The one day of the whole year... - when shredding is not frowned upon. Garfield
25 December 2014
I ate so much I can't move. Me too. - - Best Christmas ever. Ever.
26 December 2014
Hi! I'm your holiday overeating nightmare! - MUAH-HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAH! - But what ARE you? The last belt notch.
27 December 2014
- What do you want to do for new year's eve, Liz? How about dinner and dancing? - I think I'd be happy just ordering pizza and staying home with you, Garfield and Odie. - Are you sure? Because I could get a pet sitter, and - WHOP! - - Was I
28 December 2014
I got my wife a treadmill for Christmas. - That's nice. - Why are you standing out here in the snow? I got my wife a treadmill for Christmas.
29 December 2014
2009 has sure been a long year. - - We gotta get a new calendar.
30 December 2014
Mine is to not be so clumsy. - - THUD Resolutions are SO hard to keep.
31 December 2014