BARK! BARK! BARK! - - Would you mind not listening to music while I'm barking at you? Huh?
1 April 2014
* Jon's whistling. - La lan La * Now he's singing. - Care to join me for a run? Now he's doing stand-up comedy.
2 April 2014
Mouse! - Kill it an eat it, Garfield! - Kill and eat! Sorry, I'm more of a thaw-and-microwave guy.
3 April 2014
What if Liz breaks up with me? - I can't handle rejection. - Ridicule and scorn, but not rejection. You also do loathing well.
4 April 2014
Welcome to "Healthy Kids". - Now another episode of... - "Billy, the happy intestine"! Billy creeps me out.
5 April 2014
Hmmmmm... - I'll have amedium popcorn, and a medium soda. - For an extra dollar, you can get both of those large, with free refills. - Wow! Really? ...I'll TAKE it! - What a deal, huh? - And for another dollar, you can have the bottomless
6 April 2014
Garfield, I feel lazy. Yes, come to the dark side. - Maybe I need to exercise. No! No! Come back! - Or eat cookies and watch TV. Yes, come to me, my son.
7 April 2014
The ancients believed cats were good luck. - - They died out. Who's feeding the cats?!
8 April 2014
Before you eat me... - May I borrow a marker? Sure. - Okay, I'm ready. Hmmm. I didn't see that coming. IT WAS THE CAT
9 April 2014
Here we go... - MOMMY, LOOK! Wait for it... - IT'S A HAIRY HOG! ...and, it's biting time.
10 April 2014
Walking in the rain is so romantic. - Running through the sprinklers is fun, too. - That's not as romantic. Yeah, but there's less chance of a lightning strike. Score one for the paranoid.
11 April 2014
Life is going on out there... - And here I sit eating donuts and watching cartoons. - Reality is overrated.
12 April 2014
** - * - This concludes our early movie, "Of Mice and Men". - Thank you for watching. - Now stay tuned for our late movie... - "The Fly". -
13 April 2014
Good morning! Bagel or toast? - Either way, I'm gonna burn it! - BWA-HA-HA-HAAAH! Technology hates me.
14 April 2014
I'm back, Garfield. - You haven't moved, have you? - Exactly what do you do when I'm gone? Oh, gee! You just missed the pony ride!
15 April 2014
Still sleeping with your teddy bear, I see. - That's kind of immature, you know... - Time to grow up. Thank you, Mr. Bunny Slippers.
16 April 2014
Spiderwebs are okay, but I'm thinking of getting my own apartment. - SMACK! - Or an envelope.
17 April 2014
My prom was traumatic. - I had to wear dad's tuxedo. - We couldn't find the pants. Nice kilt.
18 April 2014
I bought cat food, Garfield. Life is good. - It's a special formula for "lazy cats". Cool. - Pre-chewed. Life is VERY good.
19 April 2014
- Well, is THAT so?! - ...OH, YEAH?! - HA! - THAT'S WHAT *YOU* THINK!! - Most people don't argue with their pets. Why, thank you! - That wasn't a compliment, dimwit! SMACK!
20 April 2014
- Roll over. - I'm not doing this again. You want me to get flat on one side?
21 April 2014
You never respond to my barking. - What if I lie down and play dead? - Gee, I feel so dog-like! Wake me in an hour.
22 April 2014
Catch me, Jon! - - Didn't you used to be taller?
23 April 2014
Yup, years ago I offended an old gypsy woman. - She put a curse on me. - "Take this cat," she said! I'm sensing negativity here.
24 April 2014
I'm bored, Garfield. - Let's do something. - Wanna go to the airport and pretend we're going somewhere? Like to a place with life?
25 April 2014
Whipped cream? Just when it can't get any better. - PSSSS! - Darn! It does.
26 April 2014
- This is a great love story. - Are there car chases? - It's a love story. - Do they go over cliffs? - It's a LOVE story. Do the cars explode? - YES! THE WHOLE WORLD EXPLODES! Cool! Turn it up!
27 April 2014
Am I too late for fun? - - Too early?!
28 April 2014
I am a mighty oak! - You're a twig. - I am a mighty twig!
29 April 2014
The Pet Channel presents... - "The Cat's Pajamas"! - Here's Fluffy modeling a lovely ensemble. Oh, please. I never get nice things.
30 April 2014