Oh, Garfield... Surprise! It's an apple pie! I prefer surprises in pie form!
1 May 2014
Liz is coming over tonight. Maybe I should tidy up. Think she'll want a clean fork? Let's not get crazy, here...
2 May 2014
What do you think of these fangs, huh? They could be whiter. MMMM! And braking with your mouth closed is just humming.
3 May 2014
Z One sleeping dog... Z One can sneezing powder... Z Apply sneezing powder to finger... Z Apply finger to sleeping dog's nose, annnd... Z CHOO And that were dumb.
4 May 2014
I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Yes, this is it. And no, I don't need an assistant.
5 May 2014
Today is going to be my lucky day! WHAP! Of course, it's early yet! Always the optimist...
6 May 2014
I might have a flaw or two. I'm perfect. Tell me more about your many weaknesses.
7 May 2014
I vacuumed today, Garfield... And I discovered something. The rug isn't green. So it's not evolving?
8 May 2014
Hi, sweetie. You're so sweet. It's Liz. I figured it was that or you were talking to a donut.
9 May 2014
I invited Sally to the prom. I don't think she wanted to go wit hme. She burned her gown on my front lawn. Subtle.
10 May 2014
Oh, come on! You really liked that movie? Yes, I did. You CAN'T be serious! Of COURSE I am! ...men! ...women! ...dogs! -
11 May 2014
It says here that you should greet monday morning with a smile. Or not. How about a gut-wrenching scream of desperation?
12 May 2014
Good things come to those who wait. Of course there's something to be said for that instant gratification thing, too.
13 May 2014
Life is a mystery, Garfield. So many questions. Like, what day is this? You are so cosmic.
14 May 2014
Life is a reflecting pool, Garfield. Where one can see one's true self. I have cool hair. The water must be murky today.
15 May 2014
What's your favorite polka song, Liz? Uh... I don't think I have one. Too hard to choose, huh? Just nod your head and back away slowly.
16 May 2014
I'm writing my memoirs, Garfield. Chapter two... That's where I get kidnapped by aliens. I suspected as much...
17 May 2014
Sigh... I've got this long list of things to do, Garfield... And all I REALLY want to do is take a long nap on the couch. But how can I do that without feeling massive guilt?! Teache me your ways, o master. Come to the sloth side,young Arbuckle.
18 May 2014
I hate mornings. I hate cheerful morning people. And I hate the old rubber omelet gag.
19 May 2014
Jon's on the social network. Here's his list of friends. "Bob".
20 May 2014
Where have you been? Eating lasagna. Did you save me some? Hello, my name is Garfield. I don't believe we've met.
21 May 2014
Ah, my high school garuation. I remember when they called my name. "Ron Arbuckle". Thanks for sharing, Ron.
22 May 2014
I like having Liz around, Garfield. She's very thoughtful And she doesn't shred the curtains. Just wait.
23 May 2014
Here's a delicious burger that I'm leaving next to you. I hope you don't eat it! Why don't you just throw the tofu away?
24 May 2014
click I chewed my owner's slippers. I'm too cute for words. I steal cheese. I'm a fat, lazy pig. I posted a stupid picture of my cat.
25 May 2014
Monday... TONK GOOSH At least it's reliable.
26 May 2014
BURP! tick tick tick tick You don't have to text me EVERYTHING you do!
27 May 2014
I lent Odie a book. I gave Odie a book.
28 May 2014
We'll save you! That isn't necessary! I'm fine, thank you! Are you sure?! Never trust dogs with ladders.
29 May 2014
Garfield, what are you trying to tell me? Is there danger? Do NOT go to the beach!
30 May 2014
Tonight's horror movie... "Claws of Death!" Oh, look, Howard, a little kitten! Run, Howard, run.
31 May 2014