Oh, great... - Just great...I've been sitting here so long, I'm frozen to the fence. - Garfield, what are you doing out here? I'm frozen to the fence. - You shouldn't be sitting outside in the cold like this. I'm frozen to the fence. - Why
How's it goin' tonight, folks? Feelin' good? - Oh, things could be going better. I have this pain in my neck. So do I! No kidding? Yeah, curled up under the sofa all night. I hear you, girl. What do you do for that? Oh, I just... - That was a
- I'm gonna cook dinner for Liz tonight! Is this your way of breaking up with her? - Baking powder...that's basically baking soda, right? Go for it. - Huh...the butter is crispy. Is that normal? In a comic strip, yes. - I wonder if I
Sigh... - Sigh... What's wrong, Jon? - I was going to do my annual dance to spring... - But I can't find my daisy costume ANYwhere! - Oh, well... - Did you bury it deep? Way deep. - Time for plan B! Well, go dig it back up. On my way!
DAY PLANNER - DAY PLANNER tap tap tap 8:59 AM: Wake up 9:00 AM: Breakfast 9:01 AM: Nap - tap tap tap 11:59 AM: Wake up 12:00 PM: Lunch 12:01 PM: Nap - tap tap tap 4:59 PM: Wake up - 5:00 PM: Dinner 5:01 PM: Bedtime - Want to go to the park
nok nok nok - Say goodbye to Jon the Looser, Liz. Yes, I'm a new man! - I've given up my losing ways, and I'm...HEY, LOOK! A STREET FAIR! - Look deeep into my eyeeees... Oh, please. - What size hat do you... I'M GOOD! - So, is everyone ready
Watch me...waaaaatch meeeee - Sleepy...sleepy...you are getting SLEEEEEEPY... - You are under my power and will OBEY me... - Now, cluck like a chicken! - WHACK - How stupid does he think I AM? - Oh...morning, Jon. Buck buck buck
- Okay, Garfield... - All we have left in the house is an open bag of flour... - A can of french-fried onions and an old potato. - I know! I'll make french-fried onion-potato soup! - WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! - I need a large pepperoni. We do this
boop beep beep bip boop - Hi, Liz! Wanna go to the 7 o'clock showing of "Zombie Prom Date"? I'm so sorry, Jon, I have to work late. - Don't feel bad...I'll go with, uh, some other friends. Ha ha! You mean Garfield and Odie? - No! Not them!
- Hey, Lisa! How are you? - GUH! It's been a long time! - GAK! So, how's everything? - NYAH! Are you still single? - EEEYA AAAAA AAHHH! Well...see you! - We went out on a date once. I kinda figured that out.
Oh, Garfield... - Garfield, do you have any idea what happened to the last slice of leftover pizza? - No, wait! Let me guess! - You ate it, but aliens made you do it...RIGHT?! - - - He's onto us. Hey, that was the LAST slice?!
* ping - Feed me :-) :-) :-) - It's not even close to dinnertime. Forget it. - But I'm hungry. Feed me. :-( :-( - I said no, and that's FINAL. - Feed me NOW 8-0 - I save that one for just such occasions.
click - ...do you own a cat? Yes. - ...does it have zero respect for you? Does it consider you its personal slave? Yes...yes... - ...does it take you for granted? Does it walk all over you? Does it treat you like dirt? Yes! Yes! Yes! - ...and
** DING-DONG - Hi! Our car broke down in the storm...could we spend the night here? But uv courze, pleeze come een. - I'm Cindy, and this is Tiffany! And you can call me "Count". - What do you do, Mr. Count?! I'm a...veb designer, and you? -
bzzzzz - bzzzzz - bzzzzz That's just my phone. I have set it on "vibrate". - Isn't THAT your phone? - bzzzzz - zzzzz zzzz ZZZZ ZZZZ ZZZZ - YAAAHHH! YAAAHHH! YAAAHHH! YAAAHHH! Aren't you going to answer your bee?
- Wow. - It hasn't been this dull around here in a long time. - Remember how it used to be? - It was dull around here 24/7. - We'd sit around for so long our legs would go numb! - Only Jon could get nostalgic about boredon. And you, crawling
- Sigh What's wrong, Jon? - I just never know what to get you for christmas, Liz. - Oh, Jon, it's sweet of you to worry, but I'm sure I'll love ANYTHING you get me. - Really? Really. - - One socket wrench set... Make it earrings.
Z - Good evening! I'm tonight's christmas nightmare! - You know those presents that you have to put together? Yeah. - Well, *I'M* the one bolt that's always missing from the hardware packet! - BWAH-HA! HA! HA! HAAAAHHHHHH!! - - And what are