My new year's resolution is to lose weight. You? Lose WEIGHT?! Yeah... I'm gettin' a real fly gut.I'm taking a test, Garfield. "What is your maturity level?! Where are my crayons? That's an automatic ten-point deduction.
Oh, great... Just great...I've been sitting here so long, I'm frozen to the fence. Garfield, what are you doing out here? I'm frozen to the fence. You shouldn't be sitting outside in the cold like this. I'm frozen to the fence. Whydon't you come inside? I
How's it goin' tonight, folks? Feelin' good? Oh, things could be going better. I have this pain in my neck. So do I! No kidding? Yeah, curled up under the sofa all night. I hear you, girl. What do you do for that? Oh, I just... That was arhetorical questi
I'm gonna cook dinner for Liz tonight! Is this your way of breaking up with her? Baking powder...that's basically baking soda, right? Go for it. Huh...the butter is crispy. Is that normal? In a comic strip, yes. I wonder if Ishould've added the eggs befo
Sigh... Sigh... What's wrong, Jon? I was going to do my annual dance to spring... But I can't find my daisy costume ANYwhere! Oh, well... Did you bury it deep? Way deep. Time for plan B! Well, go dig it back up. On my way!
DAY PLANNER DAY PLANNER tap tap tap 8:59 AM: Wake up 9:00 AM: Breakfast 9:01 AM: Nap tap tap tap 11:59 AM: Wake up 12:00 PM: Lunch 12:01 PM: Nap tap tap tap 4:59 PM: Wake up 5:00 PM: Dinner 5:01 PM: Bedtime Want to go to the parktomorrow? Sorry...I'm book
nok nok nok Say goodbye to Jon the Looser, Liz. Yes, I'm a new man! I've given up my losing ways, and I'm...HEY, LOOK! A STREET FAIR! Look deeep into my eyeeees... Oh, please. What size hat do you... I'M GOOD! So, is everyone readyto eat? Sure, why not. T
Watch me...waaaaatch meeeee Sleepy...sleepy...you are getting SLEEEEEEPY... You are under my power and will OBEY me... Now, cluck like a chicken! WHACK How stupid does he think I AM? Oh...morning, Jon. Buck buck buck
Okay, Garfield... All we have left in the house is an open bag of flour... A can of french-fried onions and an old potato. I know! I'll make french-fried onion-potato soup! WAH-HA! HA! HA! HA! I need a large pepperoni. We do this
boop beep beep bip boop Hi, Liz! Wanna go to the 7 o'clock showing of "Zombie Prom Date"? I'm so sorry, Jon, I have to work late. Don't feel bad...I'll go with, uh, some other friends. Ha ha! You mean Garfield and Odie? No! Not them!...my OTHER
Oh, Garfield... Garfield, do you have any idea what happened to the last slice of leftover pizza? No, wait! Let me guess! You ate it, but aliens made you do it...RIGHT?! He's onto us. Hey, that was the LAST slice?!
click ...do you own a cat? Yes. ...does it have zero respect for you? Does it consider you its personal slave? Yes...yes... ...does it take you for granted? Does it walk all over you? Does it treat you like dirt? Yes! Yes! Yes! ...anddo you love your cat?
** DING-DONG Hi! Our car broke down in the storm...could we spend the night here? But uv courze, pleeze come een. I'm Cindy, and this is Tiffany! And you can call me "Count". What do you do, Mr. Count?! I'm a...veb designer, and you? -We're prof
Wow. It hasn't been this dull around here in a long time. Remember how it used to be? It was dull around here 24/7. We'd sit around for so long our legs would go numb! Only Jon could get nostalgic about boredon. And you, crawlingafter the ice cream truck
Sigh What's wrong, Jon? I just never know what to get you for christmas, Liz. Oh, Jon, it's sweet of you to worry, but I'm sure I'll love ANYTHING you get me. Really? Really. One socket wrench set... Make it earrings.
Z Good evening! I'm tonight's christmas nightmare! You know those presents that you have to put together? Yeah. Well, *I'M* the one bolt that's always missing from the hardware packet! BWAH-HA! HA! HA! HAAAAHHHHHH!! And what areyou? The assembly instructi