You think you're so smart! Not really... I'm smart AND good-looking.
1 April 2015
I'm in a bad mood today! Somebody's got to pay! KNIT ME INTO AN ITCHY SWEATER! Whoa! Calm down, pal!
2 April 2015
BURP! Good one! You aren't big on charm, are you? Nope. Now how about that awesome belch?
3 April 2015
Garfield, sometimes I wish I could understand what you're thinking. Or, maybe not. Come to the cat side.
4 April 2015
DAY PLANNER DAY PLANNER tap tap tap 8:59 AM: Wake up 9:00 AM: Breakfast 9:01 AM: Nap tap tap tap 11:59 AM: Wake up 12:00 PM: Lunch 12:01 PM: Nap tap tap tap 4:59 PM: Wake up 5:00 PM: Dinner 5:01 PM: Bedtime Want to go to the parktomorrow? Sorry...I'm book
5 April 2015
Back...back...back... Back up some more... You still look fat. You're still too close.
6 April 2015
Hello, Skinny. Hey, everyone, Skinny's here! Yep, everyone loves Skinny. That is the most pathetic attempt at revers psychology tha tI have ever heard.
7 April 2015
Enjoying your berries, Garfield? Oh, no... It's called a "diet". I AM awake!
8 April 2015
To diet, you have to learn to say "no, thank you." That's easy enough. Okay, a test...care for some ice cream? No, thank you.
9 April 2015
How do you like that salad? We don't seem to have much in common.
10 April 2015
Garfield, are you sticking to your diet? Yes, I am. There are donuts missing. How do you explain that? I lied.
11 April 2015
GONK SPOOT SPLOT THWACK GAAAHH hummmmmm YAAAAA AAAAA HHH YAH! YAH! YAH! I love home videos.
12 April 2015
It's monday. A bright new week, a fresh beginning for my life. And I just brushed my teeth with hair mousse. Welcome to my world.
13 April 2015
Oh, I know why you're angry... Because cat hair looks better on me than on you. Vanity, thy name is Jon.
14 April 2015
I'm the world's fastest snail! Prove it. Gotta stretch first. Ah.
15 April 2015
Talking about hard work...hard work never hurt anyone. True. You ARE talking about TALKING about hard work, right? WOOOOOOO! Air guitar BURP Air lasagna.
16 April 2015
scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot Well, we're never going THERE again. I agree. What kind of buffet runs out of food, anyway?!
17 April 2015
Do you think I'm getting fat? Do you think I'm getting stupid? You answer me first. I did.
18 April 2015
nok nok nok Say goodbye to Jon the Looser, Liz. Yes, I'm a new man! I've given up my losing ways, and I'm...HEY, LOOK! A STREET FAIR! Look deeep into my eyeeees... Oh, please. What size hat do you... I'M GOOD! So, is everyone readyto eat? Sure, why not. T
19 April 2015
There's no place like home. Thank goodness.
20 April 2015
You know what the world needs? Donuts so big you need heavy machinery to lift them! Why do I talk to you? Because I have all the answers, pal!
21 April 2015
dig dig dig dig dig Even I'VE never been THAT hungry.
22 April 2015
Cats do a lot of research. SMACK THAT HURT! Fascinating...
23 April 2015
Notice anything different about me, Jon? Um... You're even more beautiful today than you were yesterday? Okay, today I gotta give you one, Arbuckle.
24 April 2015
You know, Garfield, I often wonder if I could have been a doctor. I have a splinter. When ypu're done fainting, I'd like to know where you keep the tweezers, doctor.
25 April 2015
26 April 2015
I'm going to try being invisible today. I haven't seen you all day. TAH-DAH!
27 April 2015
* ping type type type type type type type Kids, never text and climb trees.
28 April 2015
I have an idea! Why don't YOU bark at ME today? Sure. Bark. That was pathetic. NOT UNLIKE YOUR STUPID IDEA!
29 April 2015
How come there aren't any good polka movies? That's it! I was having a good day up until then!
30 April 2015