You think you're so smart! - Not really... - I'm smart AND good-looking.
1 April 2015
I'm in a bad mood today! - Somebody's got to pay! - KNIT ME INTO AN ITCHY SWEATER! Whoa! Calm down, pal!
2 April 2015
BURP! - Good one! - You aren't big on charm, are you? Nope. Now how about that awesome belch?
3 April 2015
Garfield, sometimes I wish I could understand what you're thinking. - - Or, maybe not. Come to the cat side.
4 April 2015
tomorrow? - - Sorry...I'm booked.
5 April 2015
Back...back...back... - Back up some more... - You still look fat. You're still too close.
6 April 2015
Hello, Skinny. - Hey, everyone, Skinny's here! - Yep, everyone loves Skinny. That is the most pathetic attempt at revers psychology tha tI have ever heard.
7 April 2015
Enjoying your berries, Garfield? - Oh, no... - It's called a "diet". I AM awake!
8 April 2015
To diet, you have to learn to say "no, thank you." That's easy enough. - Okay, a test...care for some ice cream? - No, thank you.
9 April 2015
- - How do you like that salad? We don't seem to have much in common.
10 April 2015
Garfield, are you sticking to your diet? Yes, I am. - There are donuts missing. - How do you explain that? I lied.
11 April 2015
GONK SPOOT - SPLOT - THWACK - GAAAHH - hummmmmm - YAAAAA AAAAA HHH - YAH! YAH! YAH! I love home videos.
12 April 2015
It's monday. - A bright new week, a fresh beginning for my life. - And I just brushed my teeth with hair mousse. Welcome to my world.
13 April 2015
Oh, I know why you're angry... - Because cat hair looks better on me than on you. - Vanity, thy name is Jon.
14 April 2015
I'm the world's fastest snail! Prove it. - - Gotta stretch first. Ah.
15 April 2015
- - WOOOOOOO! - Air guitar - - BURP - Air lasagna.
16 April 2015
scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot scoot - Well, we're never going THERE again. I agree. - What kind of buffet runs out of food, anyway?!
17 April 2015
Do you think I'm getting fat? - Do you think I'm getting stupid? - You answer me first. I did.
18 April 2015
to eat? Sure, why not. - This "new man" stuff is easy! I'll create a diversion, and you run like the wind.
19 April 2015
There's no place like home. - - Thank goodness.
20 April 2015
You know what the world needs? - Donuts so big you need heavy machinery to lift them! - Why do I talk to you? Because I have all the answers, pal!
21 April 2015
dig dig dig dig dig - - Even I'VE never been THAT hungry.
22 April 2015
Cats do a lot of research. - SMACK - THAT HURT! Fascinating...
23 April 2015
Notice anything different about me, Jon? Um... - You're even more beautiful today than you were yesterday? - Okay, today I gotta give you one, Arbuckle.
24 April 2015
You know, Garfield, I often wonder if I could have been a doctor. - I have a splinter. - When ypu're done fainting, I'd like to know where you keep the tweezers, doctor.
25 April 2015
26 April 2015
I'm going to try being invisible today. - - I haven't seen you all day. TAH-DAH!
27 April 2015
* ping - type type type type type type type - Kids, never text and climb trees.
28 April 2015
I have an idea! Why don't YOU bark at ME today? Sure. - Bark. - That was pathetic. NOT UNLIKE YOUR STUPID IDEA!
29 April 2015
- - How come there aren't any good polka movies? That's it! I was having a good day up until then!
30 April 2015