I'm writing a love letter, guys. Listen... "Love is like an ostrich"... No, make that "A pipe wrench"... No, how about this... "I would walk to the ends of the earth for you...or at least Ohio". That's not right, either! Wha
More tea, Poopsie? Yes, Snoogums. Oh, Rathbone, this picnic was a SPLENDID idea! I thought you'd enjoy it, Mimsy... I do so AWFULLY love you, you know. Oh, Ratsy, I'm so ridiculously happy! Wow, Jon...YOU picked this movie? I thought itwas one we could al
Right this way... Now, next I'll be showing you a four-leg, two-ear condo. It's a perfect flea starter home. The grounds are lovely. Yes, they're all maintained by the Hoeowner's Association...and here's the unit. Ooh, how retro. Wecall this "mid-cen
Um... Jon, there's a spring gardening show downtown today...would you like to go? Seriously? Uh, yes... Sure! Really? Absolutely! Just give me a second! Wow. That was easier than I thought. What is it? Just grab your purse, andrun like the wind.
Every day is just like another around here. * I'VE DECIDED TO SIIIING EVERYTHING I SYA! ** ** ISN'T THAT GREEEEAT? * * YESSSSS, IT IIIIIIS! * Mmmmph. Why can't every day be just like another around here?
Calculating route... Proceed up back steps, and through pet door. Continue across living room, and turn right into hallway. Proceed down hallway for twenty yards, then bear left. Continue for eleven feet. You have reached yourdestination. Wow, this thing
Ahhhhh... There's nothing like a spa on a nice summer day. The relaxing bubbles and soothing... pant pant pant pant pant Hey! Did I say you could take a break?! I've gotta get that jet fixed. FFFFFFFFFFFF straws
Oh, Garfield, Liza and I are going to a movie, and I won't be back until 6:00. You won't mind if I feed you an hour late, will you? Or I could have the theater pause the movie at 4:55, and rush home. If it's not too much trouble.
When I was a little girl, my family would visit my grandma's house every summer. She had a big backyard, and every night after dinner she'd make two bowls of strawberry ice cream... And grandma and I would sit in the backyard, eatingice cream and countin
CLICK Darn it! And we're out of light bulbs! Let's go to the store, Garfield. I'll start the car. Why do bad things always happen to me? I am such a loser! Congratulations! You are our MILLIONTH customer! How does it feel to be MR.ONE MILLION?! This is t
Uh-oh...looks like I'm out of clean shirts. Maybe there's one in the laundry pile that's still okay. This one doesn't look too terrible. I'll give it the ol' sniff test. SNIIIIIIFFFFFFF Yeah...that's not bad. I'll warn Liz.
This is a test... THis is a test of the Cat Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW This has been a test of the Cat Emergency Broadcast System. Had this been anactual cat emergency, and ha
Surrender, human! We are from the planet Clarion! And we have come to conquer your planet and take its lettuce! Lettuce? Our primary source of nutrition! We demand your lettuce! Sorry, I don't have any lettuce. You don't? I COULDorder a pizza, though. A
Hmmmm... Okay, we'll take two of the glazed, two of the chocolate... Two of the jelly-filled...two of the twists... Two with sprinkles...and what are those? They have maple icing, topped with crumbled bacon. And ten thousand ofthose. What about tomorrow?
Faster that a speeding basset hound! More powerful than an asthmatic chihuahua! Able to leap dingleballs in a single bound! Up on the table! It's a bird dog! It's a plane! It's SUPER ODIE!! BOOT! Up, up, and awaaay!
Who wants to go for a walk? YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YAP! YIP! YAP! YAPPY! YAPPY! YIP! YIP! YAP! Coming with us? I'll wait for the limo.What did you get Garfield, for Christmas, Jon? I got him a c-a-t t-o-y. He's right here. I WANTED a j-e-t s-k-i, you d-o-r-
This whole hating mondays thing is wearing me out. I gotta adjust my attitude. Monday is just another day, right? I feel better already! Wanna hear the world's longest polka on the world's loudest accordion?
Dear Santa, I am writing to you as a character reference for my cat, Garfield. Please do not judge him solely on his naughty deeds. He really is kind and loving, with a heart of gold. I have never known another cat so selfless andnoble. I ask that you ke
You know, Garfield, I'm starting to feel kinda bad about kicking the mice out of the house with christmas coming up... Do you guys need blankets or anything? Yeah! And sime sheets! NICE sheets! 800-thread-count egyptian, baby!