I just found a box with some of my old toys! - My brother and I used to fight over the action figures, so mom made us divide them up. - I got the heads. They must have had some fascinating conversations.
We house cats seem to be nice, but we still have all our primal insticts intact. - Yes, the savage blood of our jungle forefathers yet courses through our veins as we venture off to the hunt. - Oh, taxi!
RIIINNNG * Hello? - Skiing?...really?! SURE, Liz! I haven't been skiing in AGES! - See you later, Garfield! SLAM! - i:00 PM - 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM click - Tonight's top story: "Mayhem on the bunny slope"!
- I'm writing a love letter, guys. Listen... "Love is like an ostrich"... No, make that "A pipe wrench"... No, how about this... - "I would walk to the ends of the earth for you...or at least Ohio". - That's not right, either! What can I say
More tea, Poopsie? Yes, Snoogums. - Oh, Rathbone, this picnic was a SPLENDID idea! I thought you'd enjoy it, Mimsy... - I do so AWFULLY love you, you know. Oh, Ratsy, I'm so ridiculously happy! - Wow, Jon...YOU picked this movie? I thought it
Right this way... - Now, next I'll be showing you a four-leg, two-ear condo. It's a perfect flea starter home. - The grounds are lovely. Yes, they're all maintained by the Hoeowner's Association...and here's the unit. - Ooh, how retro. We
Um... - Jon, there's a spring gardening show downtown today...would you like to go? - Seriously? Uh, yes... - Sure! Really? - Absolutely! Just give me a second! - Wow. That was easier than I thought. - What is it? Just grab your purse, and
- Every day is just like another around here. - * I'VE DECIDED TO SIIIING EVERYTHING I SYA! ** - ** ISN'T THAT GREEEEAT? * - - * YESSSSS, IT IIIIIIS! * - Mmmmph. Why can't every day be just like another around here?
Garfield - - - Yes, there's no cherry on top of your food. - That's because we HAVE no cherries. - And if you think I'm going out cherry shopping just for you, you're NUTS! - We have those by the jar, you know.
Calculating route... - Proceed up back steps, and through pet door. - Continue across living room, and turn right into hallway. - Proceed down hallway for twenty yards, then bear left. - Continue for eleven feet. You have reached your
- Ahhhhh... - There's nothing like a spa on a nice summer day. - The relaxing bubbles and soothing... pant pant pant pant pant - Hey! Did I say you could take a break?! - I've gotta get that jet fixed. FFFFFFFFFFFF straws
Oh, Garfield, - Liza and I are going to a movie, and I won't be back until 6:00. - You won't mind if I feed you an hour late, will you? - - - - Or I could have the theater pause the movie at 4:55, and rush home. If it's not too much trouble.
- When I was a little girl, my family would visit my grandma's house every summer. - She had a big backyard, and every night after dinner she'd make two bowls of strawberry ice cream... - And grandma and I would sit in the backyard, eating
- CLICK Darn it! And we're out of light bulbs! Let's go to the store, Garfield. I'll start the car. - Why do bad things always happen to me? I am such a loser! - Congratulations! You are our MILLIONTH customer! - How does it feel to be MR.
- Uh-oh...looks like I'm out of clean shirts. - Maybe there's one in the laundry pile that's still okay. - This one doesn't look too terrible. - I'll give it the ol' sniff test. - SNIIIIIIFFFFFFF - Yeah...that's not bad. I'll warn Liz.
- This is a test... - THis is a test of the Cat Emergency Broadcast System. - This is only a test. - MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW - This has been a test of the Cat Emergency Broadcast System. Had this been an
- Surrender, human! We are from the planet Clarion! - And we have come to conquer your planet and take its lettuce! - Lettuce? Our primary source of nutrition! We demand your lettuce! - Sorry, I don't have any lettuce. You don't? - I COULD
Hmmmm... - Okay, we'll take two of the glazed, two of the chocolate... - Two of the jelly-filled...two of the twists... - Two with sprinkles...and what are those? - They have maple icing, topped with crumbled bacon. - And ten thousand of
- Faster that a speeding basset hound! More powerful than an asthmatic chihuahua! - Able to leap dingleballs in a single bound! - Up on the table! It's a bird dog! It's a plane! - It's SUPER ODIE!! - BOOT! - Up, up, and awaaay!
This whole hating mondays thing is wearing me out. I gotta adjust my attitude. - Monday is just another day, right? - I feel better already! Wanna hear the world's longest polka on the world's loudest accordion?
tic tic tic tic tic - Watch this. - Username: ********* Password: ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ - *** **** !!! - WELCOME BACK, JON ARBUCKLE, Royal Platinum Level frequent customer! - How may we serve you today, your Royal Platinum Highness? Wow. - I didn't know
- Dear Santa, I am writing to you as a character reference for my cat, Garfield. - Please do not judge him solely on his naughty deeds. - He really is kind and loving, with a heart of gold. I have never known another cat so selfless and
You know, Garfield, I'm starting to feel kinda bad about kicking the mice out of the house with christmas coming up... - - Do you guys need blankets or anything? Yeah! And sime sheets! NICE sheets! 800-thread-count egyptian, baby!