garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 2017 »
YAWN Garfield BURRRRRRP! BOOT! New year, old me.
1 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm in such a good mood! What could possibly end it? Waking up.
2 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
My arm is killing me! What happened? I arm-wrestled my old gym teacher and lost badly! Hey, it's not like it's the end of the world. And I had Miss Bryant right to here! Okay, it's the end of the world.
3 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You went back to bed? Everything seemed under control.
4 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Dogs really are man's best friend. "Why?" you ask. Cats have standards, that's why.
5 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What do you think the future holds, Jon? Flying cars! No, I mean for US. Two flying cars? This is about to turn ugly.
6 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Whoa... Do you ever feel like you don't know what's going on? Isn't that great?
7 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Jon? Yes, Liz? Did you set the timer on the camera? I'll check. CLICK
8 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Uh-oh Here comes a bad mood! I ducked.
9 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Are you overweight? No. Should you be on a diet? No. Are you lying? click
10 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Fetch the meaning of life, Odie! This should be interesting. How'd you guess?
11 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Here comes the monster! Look at him just shuffling along. Why are they always so slow? It's a two-hour movie.
12 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What can I get Liz for her birthday? Tuna! Maybe flowers. You obviously know nothing about women.
13 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
And here's the news. Wow... Seriously? READ IT OUT LOUD!
14 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
scoop scoop scoop pack pack pack SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK -
15 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, listen to this. The supermarket is having a special on kale. They'll pay you to take it. How much?
16 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
(null)
17 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I am a guard dog. Guarding what? Uhhhhhh... BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Yeah, you guard away, there.
18 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's not easy being a spider. How so? Five of my knees hurt. Ouch.
19 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Welcome to Binky Burger. I'm Binky's buddy, Biff. How may I help you? * HONK You don't like your job, do you? YOU try to get a date in this getup, pal.
20 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Dreams do come true. They do? Then shouldn't you be a tuna?
21 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
To: Jon tap tap tap tap tap tap From: Liz * * * * * * To: Liz tap tap tap tap tap tap From: Jon * * * * * * To: Jon tap tap tap tap tap tap From: Garfield ** * ** * ** *
22 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What is that? Is that...a nap? Why, yes, it is.
23 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Strange weather. For the living room.
24 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Wait until you hear what happened to me. Hold on. I have to pretend to take this call.
25 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Well, that was a nice day. I hate winter.
26 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I will now perform Accordion Concerto in D Major. ** * * * ** * Tah-dah! That deserves a lying ovation. clap clap clap
27 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Liz says you've never done anything to offend her. What's with that? It's because I save that stuff for you, Jon. You're special.
28 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel The pizza delivery guy is on his way.
29 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I haven't seen you do anything all day. Whoa... He sure wastes a lot of time.
30 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Why are you snails so slow? We are not! I'll bet that I'm faster than you! I'll accept that bet! You'r eon! Ready! Set! ... Go! Hey! That's cheating!
31 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Quite a breeze today.
1 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The world will remember my name! ...uh... Jon! I knew you could do it!
2 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm thinking of changing my scent. Apple pie is nice. Or fresh-baked bread. Or bacon! Now I'm hungry. Fried chicken! Brownies!
3 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z Hey, Garfield! Welcome to the 29th century! Give me just five more decades.
4 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Fetch the ball, Odie! plop Where did you get THAT?
5 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's still winter. -
6 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Broccoli is a good thing! What's that on the floor? Our new, green doorstop.
7 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Dear ask a dog"... "Would you PLEAS leave me alone?" Signed, "Mister Tennis Ball".
8 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Sometimes I can't sleep. I think it was november 8, 1992.
9 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I think my tie is too long. I have just the thing. Good evening, my dear.
10 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I am a proud man! A VERY proud man. But do not ask me why. I was not going to.
11 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
YAAAAHHH! WHOA! I CAN'T STOP! HELP! CATCH ME! THUD I told you that the banana slippers were a bad idea.
12 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm bored. It says here that boredom can spawn a more active imagination. Interesting. Oh, great. Now I'm HUNGRY, too.
13 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Sometimes I wonder if I eat too much. But then sometimes I wonder if I'm not eating ENOUGH What are you doing, Garfield? Research.
14 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey! Every time you walk by, the pictures fall off my walls. Well, excuse me.
15 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Diet time. Might as well. We're out of food.
16 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Ow!...Ow!...Ow!...OW! How am I supposed to DO this?!...OW!! We will return to "The Invisible Man Cuts Himself Shaving". OW!!
17 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The two dinosaurs are fighting! At least I THINK they're fighting... ...or slow dancing. The romantic music might be a clue!
18 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hmmmm... Know what we haven't done in a long time? Pigged out on donuts! Why don't we head over to the donut shop right now?! But first, our cheer! DONUTS! DONUTS! RAH! RAH! DONUTS! DONUTS!... YEEEEEEE-HAAHHH!!! Hear that? It'sTHEM. We're gonna need a big
19 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Could I be missing something in my life? Nope.
20 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
CAT > Uh... Your point? It saves me a lot of meowing.
21 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BARK! AAAHHH! If loud noises scare you, then don't make loud noises.
22 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Once upon a time there was a powerful wizard..." "Who summoned forth a mighty rainstorm!" Ooooooh! Would you please not do this in the shower? "And then along came a silly troll".
23 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The earth opened up and almost swallowed me. That would have been a disaster. Right, Jon?
24 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have much to offer the world. But the world doesn't want it! What was that? Ask the world!
25 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
And here's Chuck with the forecast... Looks like another eight to ten inches of snow tonight, Stu! What's that? It sounds like a cat weeping.
26 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Another monday... Anothe rmind-numbing, run-of-the-mill monday. Hey, Garf... Hold on, I'm on a roll! Another mundane, morbund, humdrum monday!
27 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Good day, sir. I've been retained to address an assault perpetrated last evening. My client is willing to settle out of court for six grubs and a beetle.
28 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
THOCK! Tennis match on TV.
1 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z Garfield, you're sleeping your life away! I could use some help. Cool. Do you want me to sleep yours away, too?
2 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Who wants another one of my kale and raisin cookies? Maybe a taste. Don't encourage her! SMACK
3 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I resolve to cut my shedding in half. -
4 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BWINK SPROING FUMP Curse you, march.
5 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
If I igniore the world, maybe it will go wawy. Except for lasagna.
6 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm going kite flying! sigh It's really windy out here! Here we go again. Let go of the string, Jon! Helllllp!
7 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Come on, pal! pat pat pat PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT Love is taking the breath with the dog.
8 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I keep forgetting what day it is. Here, have a claendar with pictures of cute cats. WHAP I don't see YOUR picure in here anywhere, mister!
9 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's like the stars go on forever. They do go on forever, Jon. Far beyond our comprehension. Whoa... So there COULD be brain-sucking lobster beings out there! Zime to go.
10 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BURP! Thank you! Encore. BURP!
11 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Whoops! Time to pick up Liz! Reservation for Arbuckle.
12 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Wow, I'm warm. What's the thermostat set at? WHOA! How did that get turned up so HIGH?! What a mystery.
13 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The cat has given so much to the world. And there's more where that came from, pal.
14 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I looked at Odie. Never make eye contact!
15 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Jon rarely leaves the house... Almost got it. And that's a good thing. Got it! It makes the world a safer place. Mustard?
16 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
whap Sigh I wonder if the cat is missing us over spring break. Could be.
17 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Observe, Garfield...the new, conservative, fashionable me! Style and class. What more does a guxy need? Um... Pants?
18 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z Garfield! Lunchtime! Z Z Are you ever going to get here? Hold on. Only two naps away.
19 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
glug glug glug SLUP! When the coffe goes down, the eyelids go up!
20 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You know that nagging feeling, Garfield? Like when you can't remember if you did something or not? I wonder if I forgot to close the door. Let's ask the goat in the living room.
21 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Good news, Odie! Your food wasn't bad today. -
22 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm back from the accordion contest, Garfield, and I got second place! There's no shame in that. DANG, that monkey was good! Now, in THAT, there is.
23 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
My accordion is in the repair shop. Oh, no! Did somebody hit it with a hammer? Why would you ask that? Um... Demand a lawyer.
24 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I don't get it. Doh! How do bats do that?
25 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Camera tap tap CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
26 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z You miss out on things when you're asleep. Z
27 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm feeling lazy, so we're having cereal for lunch. Works for me. Cereal is the perfect food...good for any meal. And snacks! In fact, let's have cereal for dinner tonight, too. Jon may have a girlfriend now, but we're still bachelors,baby!
28 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Out To Lunch Well, I won't see HIM back for three days. I heard that!
29 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Today's specials are fried chicken, roast chicken, baked chicken, barbecued chicken... Chicken salad, chicken soup and chicken pot pie. That's a lot of chicken. A poultry truck overturned just up the road. Let's hope an ice cream truckstalls in time for d
30 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Liz and I are having an argument. So? And I'd love to end it... You DO know what to do, don't you? But I have no idea what's it about! Tell her she's right.
31 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Watch this, Garfield. I'm going to scurry across the table! You do that. Wheeeeee! Mice are odd.
1 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Well, here we are... Thank you for a wonderful evening, Jon. It was wonderful, wasn't it, Liz? KISSSSSSSSS SMOOOOOOOOCH KISS KISS KISS KISS KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS click click click click click SMOOOOOOO GARFIELD! STOP WITH tHE PORCHLIGHT! click click click cli
2 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
* RING * RING Hmmm... * RING I've forgotten how to use that thing. And time marches on.
3 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What's that noise? The ancient greeks called it a dial tone, you idgit.
4 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield, why do we still have that thing? I vaguely recall that it did have a purpose? It did. Single women used it to shoot you down.
5 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The camera on this thing doesn't work! Pity him.
6 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Poor, neglected landline. Sigh... Don'r worry, I haven't forgotten you. Thanks. Remember all those pizzas we ordered together? Good times...good times.
7 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I don't use the old landline anymore. Now it's just a conversation piece. Wasn't that its original function?
8 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hmmmm A quiet house... An empty couch... A great old movie on TV... And a perfectly fluffed pillow. I swear... Some days just have "waste me" written all over them!
9 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
We should paint the house this spring. That's a good idea. Unless, of course, in some bizarre manner the term "we" implies the inclusion of me.
10 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey! You almost stepped on me, creep! Oh, sorry. STOMP! How about it now?
11 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Where have you been? I was worried about you. I was abducted by aliens. Really?! Now I'M worried about YOU.
12 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Nothing exciting happes around here. That is NOT exciting. That's about all I have to work with.
13 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Now I just touch the thingy on the screen, right? Yes. Okay, everybody say "cheese"! Urf. Cheese! Meow. CLICK!
14 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Bees are social insects. It's fun hanging out. No, it's not.
15 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You know, Garfield, Jon and I have been seeing each other for a while now... I won't hold that against you. And during that time I think he's really grown as a person. As opposed to a platypus? I mean, when we were first dating he usedto embarrass me on
16 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Wow... Look at the grass grow. I love action.
17 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Where did you go, tree? I'm on vacation. Vacation? I'm a surfboard on Maui.
18 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
PUNT The classics are always in style.
19 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm cooking dinner! Yah! I'm burning dinner! I'm ordering pizza. You should cook more often.
20 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Remember the time I got stuck in a trash can? I sure do! That was so... Tragic...so tragic.
21 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hee-hee. I'm going to use a dog whistle to call a bunch of mutts to pester Jon. SSSSSSSSSS Oops. This must be my snake whistle.
22 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
* * ** GARFIELD! Attaboy, Garfield! Thanks. We got you one, too.
23 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Some worry about oversleeping. Not me, though. I worry about over-waking.
24 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield, would you like to go jogging with me? No.
25 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Odie's not as dumb as I thought. BARK BARK BARK BARK He's dumber.
26 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm afraid I have bad news, Curtis. Give it straight to me, Doc. You have a severe...nut allergy. NOOO!! Tough break for a squirrel.
27 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Willpower. Willpower. Indulgence power!
28 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
SLURRRRK Ahhhhhhhh Needs more cat food.
29 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »

30 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Doe slife get any better than this, Garfield? I hope so. It had better.
1 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Time to walk by the neighbors. We have a history.
2 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I just don't feel motivated to bark at you. I just soaked my feet in your water dish. Thanks! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Happy to do my part.
3 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
GARFIELD! He who eats first, eats best.
4 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z Hey, Garfield! Today is National Cartoonists Day! You woke me for that?
5 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Ants are eating my candy bar! You should learn something new every day, Garfield. Ants are crunchy.
6 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BARK! BARK! plop Okay, okay, I'll play. I'm gonna make you run, though... Prepare to chase this into the next time zone, Odie! You're good.
7 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield, guess what I did today! I actually READ instructions! Next I'm going to read a map and ask for directions! Man card...hand it over.
8 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
STAY OFF THE GRASS STAY OFF THE GRASS STAY OFF THE "STAY OFF THE GRASS" SIGN Oh, come on!
9 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I've been training for the theater BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Dramatic pause! That is so stupid.
10 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Climbing a tree is challenging. Yeah, for the TREE, lardo I'm going to wear cleats. I kid!
11 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield, does this gap in my teeth make me look silly? Arlene, you could never look silly. Always be sincere...whether you mean it or not.
12 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's almost time for lunch. Which means there's just enough time for breakfast.
13 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I had a cat when I was a little girl. A beautigul tabby, like you. Her name was Tiger, and she was my best friend. We did everything together,,,ate, slept, played... She even inspired me to become a veterinarian, to help other animals.I miss her so much.
14 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z Staring contest. Or not.
15 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's not easy being fish. How so? Our potato chips are really soggy! Yew!!
16 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
ARF!ARF! ARF! See? I can speak "dog"! You just said "my elbow is a potato".
17 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I always try my best. Here comes my favorite part. Then I fail. That's my favorite part.
18 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
If I turn my head just right... I can pick up a radio station with my teeth! Uh... I know a way back out.
19 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
HYAAAH! Just kidding! You need to learn to relax.
20 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BURRRRRRRRRRRRRAP! Lugga lugga lugga YAWNNN! SLAP SLAP SLAP I didn't know this thing had a webcam. And we just passed one millio views. lugga lugga lugga
21 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Don't you have anything to do? Yes, I do. I'm binge-watching the ceiling.
22 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Cats have many talents. TAH-DAH!
23 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Not everything os my fault. BOOT! Just the good stuff.
24 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield! Have you seen my razor?! No, but your potato peeler has had it.
25 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Do you ever think about our future together, Garfield? Nope. No? I'm too busy enjoying out ime together right now. Purr.
26 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Cotton is better than wool! Wool is better than cotton! WOOL HEAD! COTTON MOUTH! What do YOU thibk? Yeah! Who's better?! I'm staying out of this.
27 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
* ** Hello? Hi, it's the Pizza Parlor. We're just calling to let you know how much we love you. * SMOOOOOCH * * click * Perhaps we order pizza too much. Said no one ever.
28 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BEWARE OF PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING Like there needs to be a sign.
29 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
A cat can make a toy out of anything. A paper bag, for instance. My lunch was in there! That will be difficult to prove.
30 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Sorry. I thought I heard the can opener. Focus.
31 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
These buttermilk pancakes taste plain, Irma. Did you put buttermilk in them? Let me check. Silly me! I put water in them! Meaning...the buttermilk went into the coffee maker.
1 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Ah, friday... Almost quitting time. Can't wait to relax.
2 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Great Moments in Cat History"... The invention of the tuna-flavored milk shake. sniff This has been "Great Moments in Cat History".
3 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Are you quite done? Just one more.
4 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You lie there while I do everything around here. Finally a plan we can all get behind!
5 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Well? What do you have to say? Looks better on me.
6 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
LICK LICK LICK LICK
7 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Some fish can fly. Really?! But the lines at the airport are so long. Oh, don't even start!
8 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have Garfield's test results... But I think there's som esort of error. It says his blood is 20 percent marinara sauce. How are my cheese levels?
9 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I love everybody! Me, too! Although some could use a little salt.
10 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I think I'll clean out my closet today... It's just so small... sip sip ZANG MUST BUILD BIGGER CLOSET!!! I GET LUMBER!
11 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What are you looking at, cat? A photo album. A photo album? What's that? It's where we old folks used to post our selfies. Ah.
12 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You mean people in the old days used to print out their photos and then paste them into books? Yes. That sure seems like a lot of work. They had plenty of time. Didn't they have dinosaurs to hunt? Only on tuesdays.
13 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Here's another old picture of me. It was take the first time Jon put me on a diet. Why is your face so lumpy? I'm storing cookies in my cheeks.
14 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Look, Garfield, here's you as a kitten. Wow, you were fat even then. I mean, "awwwww".
15 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I've decided I don't want to make a big deal out of my birthday this year. Now that I'm older and wiser, I'm realizing the things that mean the most to me... A dump truck full of presents and a ginormous cake are all I really need. You'redrooling.
16 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
YAWN KRIK I'm at that age where YAWNING is risky.
17 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
HUHHHHHHH FOOOOOF FOOOOOF FOOOOOOF Okay, I'm ready... BRING ON THE BIRTHDAY CAKE!
18 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's my birthday! SPLOT Aaand it's also monday.
19 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, you're prett yold. You should meet my grandmother. She's the oldest person I know. She's so old that she's seen it all. And done it all. She's REALLY old. How old is she? Two!
20 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, Garfield, today is the first day of summer! Time to hit the ol' wading pool! Tah-dah! Hello, summer-goodbye, dignity.
21 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I love summer! But it doesn't love you.
22 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
We're not taking a vacation this year. Really? I thought we were on one.
23 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Is it warm out? Somewhat.
24 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Boy, it's hot! It is. I could use something cold to drink. Good idea. snap snap! What about ME?! Get your own cabana mouse.
25 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have friday on my mind... But monday on my calendar.
26 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
All right! All right! You can have half of my sandwich! Good things come to those who whine.
27 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Dear Ask A Dog"... "If you chase a car and catch it, what happens then?" That is highly illegal, my friend.
28 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
GARFIELD! You ate everything in the kitchen! Not so. EVERYTHING! Here's the twist of the bread bag.
29 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Have you considered planting a vegetable garden? No, he has not. Uh, no. Now, a small plot of bacon might be nice.
30 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Cat food... GULP! If I'm hungry enough, I'll eat anything.
1 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
eew Oh, Irma. Yes? There's a fly in my mashed potatoes. SCHWAT! Dit I get it? Dit I get it? dig dig dig Hah-HA! No charge for that. Why do we come here? For the ambience.
2 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
There's ugly... and then there's monday-morning ugly.
3 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What a crowd! All these people coming to the faily reunion! Have you ever seen so many tractors? I think I'm overdressed.
4 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Come closer! Closer! Uh, too close.
5 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Look, Garfield! I found a lucky horseshoe! knock knock There's a horse with a limp at the door, and he doesn't look happy.
6 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What would you like to do tonight, Garfield? Eat garbage, yowl on the fence, dodge shoes, trash-talk some dogs, then get chased up a tree. So, the usual. If it ain't broke...
7 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You should always follow my lead. I don't know about "always".
8 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
GARFIELD! shoof hummmmm GARFIELD!
9 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The only good thing about monday morning is the coffee. GLUB Mmm...toasty, with notes of cheese and a soapy finish. Hey! I'm trying to bathe here!
10 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Think before you act. How about if I think and then just lie here.
11 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Odie has discovered the secret to happiness. I think I'll remain depressed.
12 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
* MROOOW ** SHUT UP! Did somebody say "encore"?
13 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Liz wants me to go furniture shopping with her. She wants to buy a credenza. I don't even know that that is! It's Italian for "your bachelor life is over".
14 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Oops. Caught that sandwich before it hit the floor.
15 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I want some attention. Pay attention to me! SLAP! Hey! That hurt! Why did you hurt me?! -You are an awful, awful cat! BAD CAT! BAD CAT! Why, I oughta... That's better.
16 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Nothing can stop me today, Garfield! How ironic. Nothing can START me.
17 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Who knows what the future holds. But I know that it involves a water balloon.
18 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Whoa! Take it easy there, Odie! Better.
19 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Slightly pungent with a hint of nuttiness. Earthy, like walking through a meadow after a spring rain. Cheese snobs. Aristocratic yet humble. Indubitaly.
20 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Liz yawned on our date tonight... ONLY ONCE! Mister Excitement!
21 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm sleepy! Yes, sir! Although it's not one of my best efforts.
22 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, guys, check out the moon... It looks happy, doesn't it? When I was a boy, we called that a "smiling moon". Kids sure do think of some funny things.
23 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It takes longer... ...every morrning... ...to resemble myself.
24 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
This is interesting... Van Gogh said that orange is the color of insanity. That's crazy.
25 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You just ate, so you'll have to wait half an hour to swim. Of course, by then you'll be hungry again. Hmm You know, you may never swim again. The math doesn't look good.
26 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
With age comes wisdom. Sigh I'd rather have a new television. That's very wise.
27 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, Odie! Jon was just elling me he wishes you would bark manically in his face. BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Happy birthday, Jon!
28 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Some people dream in black and white. Some people dream in color. I dream in pizza toppings.
29 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
* ** * * ** * ** * * * ** * ** * * * ** * * * * ** * * * * * ** * * * * * ** * ** * * * * ** * * * ** * ** Some days, you just gotta dance.
30 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Guess what, Garfield? I switched us to decaf. I'd slap you, but I don't have the energy.
31 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Life's funny. You never know what's going to happen until it happens. IF it happens.
1 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Don't be mean, kids. BOOT! Leave that to the professionals.
2 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I wonder why I never get a treat. If you're a good boy today, I'll give you a treat. Ah.
3 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
He really hates camping, doesn't he? That's a long stick!
4 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's diet time, Garfield! We're going on a fast! We're going off a fast! That was a terrifying three seconds!
5 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
* YOU JUST RUINED a PERFECTLY BAD MOOD!
6 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Wouldn't it be great if we could travel back in time? I'd go back to my first day of kindergarten. This time I'd KNOW where the little boys' room was before it was too late. I'd travel before this conversation took place.
7 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
So hot. You should wear a hat. So hot. So embarrassing.
8 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
SLURRRRRR GAAAH! Hot hose water.
9 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Odie, come back! I need to dry you off. Not a problem. You bed seem pretty absorbent.
10 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Sigh... I need to become the man that Liz deserves. Technically, that would be another man.
11 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I just finished a leisurely breakfast. Hey... I MISSED LUNCH!
12 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
So... So you worked in the yard yesterday without a shirt on? Yes. It was pretty hot and sunny. Did you wear sunscreen? Yeees. All over? Yes, mother. Really? Even on your back? SLAP! YES! bust-ed.
13 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Bored? No, thank you. I already am.
14 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
SSSSSSSS SSSSSSSS Isn't that quite enough? SSSSSS Said the jealous Jon.
15 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Dear Ask A Dog"... "If you were on the moon, would you howl at the earth?" And no, you're not going to go find out.
16 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Why are you back in bed? Duh. It's dark out.
17 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Guess how many jelly beans I can fit in my mouth. How many? One. Because somebody TOOK the rest of them! The rascal.
18 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I was crossing the street this morning, and... Z All of Jon's stories are bedtime stories.
19 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Look, Garfield...a dead possum. Oh, ick. That's disgusting. How utterly gross. click!
20 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
(null)
21 August 2017

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