My arm is killing me! What happened? I arm-wrestled my old gym teacher and lost badly! Hey, it's not like it's the end of the world. And I had Miss Bryant right to here! Okay, it's the end of the world.
The world will remember my name! ...uh... Jon! I knew you could do it!Let's see...should I get Odie a squeaky bone or a dingle ball? What the heck, it's chistmas...I'll get him both! And what would YOU like? To slap you silly.
I'm feeling lazy, so we're having cereal for lunch. Works for me. Cereal is the perfect food...good for any meal. And snacks! In fact, let's have cereal for dinner tonight, too. Jon may have a girlfriend now, but we're still bachelors,baby!
You mean people in the old days used to print out their photos and then paste them into books? Yes. That sure seems like a lot of work. They had plenty of time. Didn't they have dinosaurs to hunt? Only on tuesdays.
I've decided I don't want to make a big deal out of my birthday this year. Now that I'm older and wiser, I'm realizing the things that mean the most to me... A dump truck full of presents and a ginormous cake are all I really need. You'redrooling.
Wouldn't it be great if we could travel back in time? I'd go back to my first day of kindergarten. This time I'd KNOW where the little boys' room was before it was too late. I'd travel before this conversation took place.
Wow, Jon...how did you get your christmas tree to stand so straight? Oh, it wasn't hard at all, Liz...not for ME, anyway. It just took some basic structural engineering. He duct-taped it to a coat rack.
Dear Santa, How have you been? How is Mrs. Claus? How are the reindeer and elves? How's your weather been? We have had a mild winter here so far. I like to begin with a little idle chitchat before I make with the begging.
THE EXCITEMENT MOUNTS! OKAY, EVERYONE!... TEN!...NINE!...EIGHT!... SEVEN!...SIX!...FIVE!... Are you ready to officially kick off the new year, Odie? FOUR!...THREE!...TWO!...ONE!... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! KICK!