garfield :: (null)

/here garfield :: (null)

		» 1 January 2017 »
YAWN - Garfield - BURRRRRRP! - - - BOOT! - New year, old me.
1 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm in such a good mood! - What could possibly end it? - Waking up.
2 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
My arm is killing me! What happened? - I arm-wrestled my old gym teacher and lost badly! Hey, it's not like it's the end of the world. - And I had Miss Bryant right to here! Okay, it's the end of the world.
3 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - You went back to bed? Everything seemed under control.
4 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Dogs really are man's best friend. - "Why?" you ask. - Cats have standards, that's why.
5 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What do you think the future holds, Jon? Flying cars! - No, I mean for US. - Two flying cars? This is about to turn ugly.
6 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Whoa... - Do you ever feel like you don't know what's going on? - Isn't that great?
7 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - Jon? - Yes, Liz? - Did you set the timer on the camera? - I'll check. - CLICK
8 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Uh-oh- Here comes a bad mood! - - I ducked.
9 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Are you overweight? No. - Should you be on a diet? No. - Are you lying? click
10 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Fetch the meaning of life, Odie! - This should be interesting. - How'd you guess?
11 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Here comes the monster! - Look at him just shuffling along. - Why are they always so slow? It's a two-hour movie.
12 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What can I get Liz for her birthday? - Tuna! - Maybe flowers. You obviously know nothing about women.
13 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
And here's the news. - Wow... - Seriously? READ IT OUT LOUD!
14 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - scoop scoop scoop - pack pack pack - SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK SCOOP PACK - -
15 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, listen to this. - The supermarket is having a special on kale. - They'll pay you to take it. How much?
16 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
(null)
17 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I am a guard dog. Guarding what? - Uhhhhhh... - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Yeah, you guard away, there.
18 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's not easy being a spider. - How so? - Five of my knees hurt. Ouch.
19 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Welcome to Binky Burger. I'm Binky's buddy, Biff. How may I help you? - * HONK - You don't like your job, do you? YOU try to get a date in this getup, pal.
20 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Dreams do come true. - They do? - Then shouldn't you be a tuna?
21 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- To: Jon tap tap tap tap tap tap - From: Liz * * * * * * - To: Liz tap tap tap tap tap tap - From: Jon * * * * * * - To: Jon tap tap tap tap tap tap - From: Garfield ** * ** * ** *
22 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What is that? - Is that...a nap? - Why, yes, it is.
23 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Strange weather. - For the living room.
24 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Wait until you hear what happened to me. - Hold on. - I have to pretend to take this call.
25 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - Well, that was a nice day. I hate winter.
26 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I will now perform Accordion Concerto in D Major. - ** * * * ** * - Tah-dah! That deserves a lying ovation. clap clap clap
27 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Liz says you've never done anything to offend her. - What's with that? It's because I save that stuff for you, Jon. - You're special.
28 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel - shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel - shovel shovel shovel shovel - shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel shovel - The pizza delivery guy is on his way.
29 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I haven't seen you do anything all day. - Whoa... - He sure wastes a lot of time.
30 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Why are you snails so slow? We are not! I'll bet that I'm faster than you! - I'll accept that bet! You'r eon! Ready! Set! ... - Go! Hey! That's cheating!
31 January 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - Quite a breeze today.
1 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The world will remember my name! - ...uh... - Jon! I knew you could do it!
2 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm thinking of changing my scent. Apple pie is nice. - Or fresh-baked bread. Or bacon! - Now I'm hungry. Fried chicken! Brownies!
3 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z Hey, Garfield! - Welcome to the 29th century! - Give me just five more decades.
4 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Fetch the ball, Odie! - - plop - Where did you get THAT?
5 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- It's still winter. -
6 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Broccoli is a good thing! - - What's that on the floor? Our new, green doorstop.
7 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Dear ask a dog"... - "Would you PLEAS leave me alone?" - Signed, "Mister Tennis Ball".
8 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Sometimes I can't sleep. - - I think it was november 8, 1992.
9 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I think my tie is too long. - I have just the thing. - Good evening, my dear.
10 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I am a proud man! - A VERY proud man. - But do not ask me why. I was not going to.
11 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
YAAAAHHH! - WHOA! - I CAN'T STOP! - HELP! - CATCH ME! - THUD - I told you that the banana slippers were a bad idea.
12 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm bored. - It says here that boredom can spawn a more active imagination. Interesting. - Oh, great. Now I'm HUNGRY, too.
13 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Sometimes I wonder if I eat too much. - But then sometimes I wonder if I'm not eating ENOUGH - What are you doing, Garfield? Research.
14 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Hey! - Every time you walk by, the pictures fall off my walls. Well, excuse me.
15 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - Diet time. Might as well. We're out of food.
16 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Ow!...Ow!...Ow!...OW! - How am I supposed to DO this?!...OW!! - We will return to "The Invisible Man Cuts Himself Shaving". OW!!
17 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The two dinosaurs are fighting! - At least I THINK they're fighting... - ...or slow dancing. The romantic music might be a clue!
18 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hmmmm... - Know what we haven't done in a long time? Pigged out on donuts! - Why don't we head over to the donut shop right now?! - But first, our cheer! - DONUTS! DONUTS! RAH! RAH! DONUTS! DONUTS!... - YEEEEEEE-HAAHHH!!! - Hear that? It's
19 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Could I be missing something in my life? - - Nope.
20 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
CAT --> - Uh... - Your point? It saves me a lot of meowing.
21 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BARK! - AAAHHH! - If loud noises scare you, then don't make loud noises.
22 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Once upon a time there was a powerful wizard..." - "Who summoned forth a mighty rainstorm!" Ooooooh! - Would you please not do this in the shower? "And then along came a silly troll".
23 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The earth opened up and almost swallowed me. - That would have been a disaster. Right, Jon?
24 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have much to offer the world. - But the world doesn't want it! - What was that? Ask the world!
25 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - - - And here's Chuck with the forecast... - Looks like another eight to ten inches of snow tonight, Stu! - What's that? It sounds like a cat weeping.
26 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Another monday... - Anothe rmind-numbing, run-of-the-mill monday. - Hey, Garf... Hold on, I'm on a roll! Another mundane, morbund, humdrum monday!
27 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Good day, sir. - I've been retained to address an assault perpetrated last evening. - My client is willing to settle out of court for six grubs and a beetle.
28 February 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- THOCK! - Tennis match on TV.
1 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z - Garfield, you're sleeping your life away! - I could use some help. Cool. Do you want me to sleep yours away, too?
2 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - Who wants another one of my kale and raisin cookies? Maybe a taste. Don't encourage her! SMACK
3 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I resolve to cut my shedding in half. - -
4 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - BWINK - SPROING - - FUMP - Curse you, march.
5 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
If I igniore the world, maybe it will go wawy. - - Except for lasagna.
6 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm going kite flying! sigh - It's really windy out here! Here we go again. - Let go of the string, Jon! Helllllp!
7 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Come on, pal! pat pat pat - PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT - Love is taking the breath with the dog.
8 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I keep forgetting what day it is. - Here, have a claendar with pictures of cute cats. WHAP - I don't see YOUR picure in here anywhere, mister!
9 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's like the stars go on forever. They do go on forever, Jon. Far beyond our comprehension. - Whoa... - So there COULD be brain-sucking lobster beings out there! Zime to go.
10 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BURP! - Thank you! - Encore. BURP!
11 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - - - - Whoops! Time to pick up Liz! - Reservation for Arbuckle.
12 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Wow, I'm warm. What's the thermostat set at? - WHOA! How did that get turned up so HIGH?! - What a mystery.
13 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The cat has given so much to the world. - - And there's more where that came from, pal.
14 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - I looked at Odie. Never make eye contact!
15 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Jon rarely leaves the house... Almost got it. - And that's a good thing. Got it! - It makes the world a safer place. Mustard?
16 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
whap - Sigh - I wonder if the cat is missing us over spring break. Could be.
17 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Observe, Garfield...the new, conservative, fashionable me! - Style and class. What more does a guxy need? Um... - Pants?
18 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z - Garfield! Lunchtime! - Z - - Z - Are you ever going to get here? Hold on. Only two naps away.
19 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
glug glug glug - SLUP! - When the coffe goes down, the eyelids go up!
20 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You know that nagging feeling, Garfield? - Like when you can't remember if you did something or not? - I wonder if I forgot to close the door. Let's ask the goat in the living room.
21 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Good news, Odie! - Your food wasn't bad today. -
22 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm back from the accordion contest, Garfield, and I got second place! There's no shame in that. - - DANG, that monkey was good! Now, in THAT, there is.
23 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
My accordion is in the repair shop. Oh, no! - Did somebody hit it with a hammer? - Why would you ask that? Um... Demand a lawyer.
24 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I don't get it. - Doh! - How do bats do that?
25 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Camera tap tap - CLICK - CLICK - CLICK - CLICK - CLICK
26 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z - You miss out on things when you're asleep. - Z
27 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm feeling lazy, so we're having cereal for lunch. Works for me. - Cereal is the perfect food...good for any meal. And snacks! - In fact, let's have cereal for dinner tonight, too. Jon may have a girlfriend now, but we're still bachelors,
28 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - Out To Lunch - Well, I won't see HIM back for three days. I heard that!
29 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Today's specials are fried chicken, roast chicken, baked chicken, barbecued chicken... - Chicken salad, chicken soup and chicken pot pie. That's a lot of chicken. - A poultry truck overturned just up the road. Let's hope an ice cream truck
30 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Liz and I are having an argument. So? - And I'd love to end it... You DO know what to do, don't you? - But I have no idea what's it about! Tell her she's right.
31 March 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Watch this, Garfield. - I'm going to scurry across the table! You do that. - Wheeeeee! Mice are odd.
1 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Well, here we are... - Thank you for a wonderful evening, Jon. It was wonderful, wasn't it, Liz? - KISSSSSSSSS - SMOOOOOOOOCH - KISS KISS KISS KISS KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS - click click click click click SMOOOOOOO- - GARFIELD! STOP WITH tHE PORCH
2 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
* RING - * RING Hmmm... - * RING I've forgotten how to use that thing. And time marches on.
3 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - What's that noise? The ancient greeks called it a dial tone, you idgit.
4 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield, why do we still have that thing? - I vaguely recall that it did have a purpose? It did. - Single women used it to shoot you down.
5 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - The camera on this thing doesn't work! Pity him.
6 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Poor, neglected landline. Sigh... - Don'r worry, I haven't forgotten you. Thanks. - Remember all those pizzas we ordered together? Good times...good times.
7 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I don't use the old landline anymore. - Now it's just a conversation piece. - Wasn't that its original function?
8 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hmmmm - A quiet house... - An empty couch... - A great old movie on TV... - And a perfectly fluffed pillow. - I swear... - Some days just have "waste me" written all over them!
9 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
We should paint the house this spring. - That's a good idea. - Unless, of course, in some bizarre manner the term "we" implies the inclusion of me.
10 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey! - You almost stepped on me, creep! Oh, sorry. - STOMP! How about it now?
11 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Where have you been? I was worried about you. - I was abducted by aliens. - Really?! Now I'M worried about YOU.
12 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Nothing exciting happes around here. - - That is NOT exciting. That's about all I have to work with.
13 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Now I just touch the thingy on the screen, right? Yes. - Okay, everybody say "cheese"! Urf. Cheese! Meow. - CLICK!
14 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Bees are social insects. - - It's fun hanging out. No, it's not.
15 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- You know, Garfield, Jon and I have been seeing each other for a while now... I won't hold that against you. - And during that time I think he's really grown as a person. As opposed to a platypus? - I mean, when we were first dating he used
16 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Wow... - Look at the grass grow. - I love action.
17 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Where did you go, tree? - I'm on vacation. - Vacation? I'm a surfboard on Maui.
18 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- PUNT - The classics are always in style.
19 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm cooking dinner! - Yah! I'm burning dinner! - I'm ordering pizza. You should cook more often.
20 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Remember the time I got stuck in a trash can? I sure do! - That was so... - Tragic...so tragic.
21 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hee-hee. I'm going to use a dog whistle to call a bunch of mutts to pester Jon. - SSSSSSSSSS - Oops. This must be my snake whistle.
22 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- * * ** - - GARFIELD! - - Attaboy, Garfield! Thanks. - We got you one, too.
23 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Some worry about oversleeping. - Not me, though. - I worry about over-waking.
24 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield, would you like to go jogging with me? - - No.
25 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Odie's not as dumb as I thought. - BARK BARK BARK BARK He's dumber.
26 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm afraid I have bad news, Curtis. Give it straight to me, Doc. - You have a severe...nut allergy. - NOOO!! Tough break for a squirrel.
27 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Willpower. - Willpower. - Indulgence power!
28 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
SLURRRRK - Ahhhhhhhh - Needs more cat food.
29 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - - - - -
30 April 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Doe slife get any better than this, Garfield? - - I hope so. It had better.
1 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Time to walk by the neighbors. - - We have a history.
2 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I just don't feel motivated to bark at you. - I just soaked my feet in your water dish. - Thanks! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Happy to do my part.
3 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - GARFIELD! He who eats first, eats best.
4 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z - Hey, Garfield! Today is National Cartoonists Day! You woke me for that? -
5 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Ants are eating my candy bar! - - You should learn something new every day, Garfield. Ants are crunchy.
6 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BARK! BARK! - - plop - Okay, okay, I'll play. - I'm gonna make you run, though... - Prepare to chase this into the next time zone, Odie! - You're good.
7 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield, guess what I did today! - I actually READ instructions! - Next I'm going to read a map and ask for directions! Man card...hand it over.
8 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
STAY OFF THE GRASS - STAY OFF THE GRASS - STAY OFF THE "STAY OFF THE GRASS" SIGN Oh, come on!
9 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I've been training for the theater - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - Dramatic pause! That is so stupid.
10 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Climbing a tree is challenging. - Yeah, for the TREE, lardo- - I'm going to wear cleats. I kid!
11 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield, does this gap in my teeth make me look silly? - Arlene, you could never look silly. - Always be sincere...whether you mean it or not.
12 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's almost time for lunch. - - Which means there's just enough time for breakfast.
13 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- I had a cat when I was a little girl. A beautigul tabby, like you. - Her name was Tiger, and she was my best friend. We did everything together,,,ate, slept, played... - She even inspired me to become a veterinarian, to help other animals.
14 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Z - Staring contest. - Or not.
15 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's not easy being fish. - How so? - Our potato chips are really soggy! Yew!!
16 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
ARF!ARF! ARF! - See? I can speak "dog"! - You just said "my elbow is a potato".
17 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I always try my best. - Here comes my favorite part. - Then I fail. That's my favorite part.
18 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
If I turn my head just right... - I can pick up a radio station with my teeth! - Uh... I know a way back out.
19 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
HYAAAH! - Just kidding! - You need to learn to relax.
20 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - BURRRRRRRRRRRRRAP! - Lugga lugga lugga - YAWNNN! - SLAP SLAP SLAP - I didn't know this thing had a webcam. And we just passed one millio views. lugga lugga lugga
21 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Don't you have anything to do? Yes, I do. - I'm binge-watching the ceiling.
22 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Cats have many talents. - - TAH-DAH!
23 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Not everything os my fault. - BOOT! - Just the good stuff.
24 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield! - Have you seen my razor?! - No, but your potato peeler has had it.
25 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Do you ever think about our future together, Garfield? Nope. - No? - I'm too busy enjoying out ime together right now. Purr.
26 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Cotton is better than wool! Wool is better than cotton! - WOOL HEAD! COTTON MOUTH! - What do YOU thibk? Yeah! Who's better?! I'm staying out of this.
27 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- * ** - Hello? Hi, it's the Pizza Parlor. - We're just calling to let you know how much we love you. - * SMOOOOOCH * - * click * - Perhaps we order pizza too much. Said no one ever.
28 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- BEWARE OF PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING - Like there needs to be a sign.
29 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
A cat can make a toy out of anything. - A paper bag, for instance. - My lunch was in there! That will be difficult to prove.
30 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - - Sorry. I thought I heard the can opener. Focus.
31 May 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
These buttermilk pancakes taste plain, Irma. Did you put buttermilk in them? - Let me check. - Silly me! I put water in them! - Meaning...the buttermilk went into the coffee maker.
1 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Ah, friday... - Almost quitting time. - Can't wait to relax.
2 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Great Moments in Cat History"... - The invention of the tuna-flavored milk shake. sniff - This has been "Great Moments in Cat History".
3 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - - - - Are you quite done? Just one more.
4 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- You lie there while I do everything around here. - Finally a plan we can all get behind!
5 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Well? What do you have to say? - Looks better on me.
6 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - LICK LICK LICK LICK
7 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Some fish can fly. - Really?! - But the lines at the airport are so long. Oh, don't even start!
8 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have Garfield's test results... - But I think there's som esort of error. - It says his blood is 20 percent marinara sauce. How are my cheese levels?
9 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I love everybody! - Me, too! - Although some could use a little salt.
10 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- I think I'll clean out my closet today... - It's just so small... - sip sip - - ZANG - MUST BUILD BIGGER CLOSET!!! I GET LUMBER!
11 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What are you looking at, cat? - A photo album. A photo album? What's that? - It's where we old folks used to post our selfies. Ah.
12 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You mean people in the old days used to print out their photos and then paste them into books? Yes. - That sure seems like a lot of work. They had plenty of time. - Didn't they have dinosaurs to hunt? Only on tuesdays.
13 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Here's another old picture of me. - It was take the first time Jon put me on a diet. - Why is your face so lumpy? I'm storing cookies in my cheeks.
14 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Look, Garfield, here's you as a kitten. - Wow, you were fat even then. - I mean, "awwwww".
15 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I've decided I don't want to make a big deal out of my birthday this year. - Now that I'm older and wiser, I'm realizing the things that mean the most to me... - A dump truck full of presents and a ginormous cake are all I really need. You're
16 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
YAWN - KRIK - I'm at that age where YAWNING is risky.
17 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- HUHHHHHHH - FOOOOOF - FOOOOOF - FOOOOOOF - Okay, I'm ready... - BRING ON THE BIRTHDAY CAKE!
18 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's my birthday! - SPLOT - Aaand it's also monday.
19 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, you're prett yold. You should meet my grandmother. She's the oldest person I know. - She's so old that she's seen it all. And done it all. She's REALLY old. - How old is she? Two!
20 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, Garfield, today is the first day of summer! - Time to hit the ol' wading pool! - Tah-dah! Hello, summer-goodbye, dignity.
21 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I love summer! - - But it doesn't love you.
22 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
We're not taking a vacation this year. - Really? - I thought we were on one.
23 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - Is it warm out? Somewhat.
24 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Boy, it's hot! It is. - I could use something cold to drink. Good idea. - snap snap! - - - What about ME?! Get your own cabana mouse.
25 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have friday on my mind... - - But monday on my calendar.
26 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
All right! All right! - You can have half of my sandwich! - Good things come to those who whine.
27 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Dear Ask A Dog"... - "If you chase a car and catch it, what happens then?" - That is highly illegal, my friend.
28 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
GARFIELD! - You ate everything in the kitchen! Not so. - EVERYTHING! Here's the twist of the bread bag.
29 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Have you considered planting a vegetable garden? - No, he has not. - Uh, no. Now, a small plot of bacon might be nice.
30 June 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Cat food... - GULP! - If I'm hungry enough, I'll eat anything.
1 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
eew - Oh, Irma. - Yes? There's a fly in my mashed potatoes. - SCHWAT! - Dit I get it? Dit I get it? dig dig dig - Hah-HA! - No charge for that. Why do we come here? For the ambience.
2 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
There's ugly... - - and then there's monday-morning ugly.
3 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What a crowd! - All these people coming to the faily reunion! - Have you ever seen so many tractors? I think I'm overdressed.
4 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Come closer! - Closer! - Uh, too close.
5 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Look, Garfield! I found a lucky horseshoe! - knock knock - There's a horse with a limp at the door, and he doesn't look happy.
6 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What would you like to do tonight, Garfield? - Eat garbage, yowl on the fence, dodge shoes, trash-talk some dogs, then get chased up a tree. - So, the usual. If it ain't broke...
7 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You should always follow my lead. - - I don't know about "always".
8 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - GARFIELD! - - - shoof - hummmmm GARFIELD!
9 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The only good thing about monday morning is the coffee. - GLUB - Mmm...toasty, with notes of cheese and a soapy finish. Hey! I'm trying to bathe here!
10 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Think before you act. - - How about if I think and then just lie here.
11 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Odie has discovered the secret to happiness. - - I think I'll remain depressed.
12 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
* MROOOW ** - SHUT UP! - Did somebody say "encore"?
13 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Liz wants me to go furniture shopping with her. - She wants to buy a credenza. - I don't even know that that is! It's Italian for "your bachelor life is over".
14 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Oops. - - Caught that sandwich before it hit the floor.
15 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- I want some attention. - Pay attention to me! SLAP! - Hey! That hurt! - Why did you hurt me?! -You are an awful, awful cat! - BAD CAT! BAD CAT! Why, I oughta... That's better.
16 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Nothing can stop me today, Garfield! - How ironic. - Nothing can START me.
17 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Who knows what the future holds. - - But I know that it involves a water balloon.
18 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Whoa! Take it easy there, Odie! - Better.
19 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Slightly pungent with a hint of nuttiness. - Earthy, like walking through a meadow after a spring rain. - Cheese snobs. Aristocratic yet humble. Indubitaly.
20 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Liz yawned on our date tonight... - - ONLY ONCE! Mister Excitement!
21 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm sleepy! - Yes, sir! - Although it's not one of my best efforts.
22 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Hey, guys, check out the moon... - It looks happy, doesn't it? - When I was a boy, we called that a "smiling moon". - Kids sure do think of some funny things. - -
23 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It takes longer... - ...every morrning... - ...to resemble myself.
24 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- This is interesting... - Van Gogh said that orange is the color of insanity. That's crazy.
25 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You just ate, so you'll have to wait half an hour to swim. - Of course, by then you'll be hungry again. Hmm - You know, you may never swim again. The math doesn't look good.
26 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
With age comes wisdom. - Sigh - I'd rather have a new television. That's very wise.
27 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, Odie! - Jon was just elling me he wishes you would bark manically in his face. - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! Happy birthday, Jon!
28 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Some people dream in black and white. - Some people dream in color. - I dream in pizza toppings.
29 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
* ** * * ** * ** * - * * ** * ** * * - * ** * * * - * ** * * * * - * ** * * * * - * ** * ** * * * * - ** * * * ** * ** Some days, you just gotta dance.
30 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Guess what, Garfield? - I switched us to decaf. - I'd slap you, but I don't have the energy.
31 July 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Life's funny. You never know what's going to happen until it happens. - - IF it happens.
1 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Don't be mean, kids. - BOOT! - Leave that to the professionals.
2 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I wonder why I never get a treat. - If you're a good boy today, I'll give you a treat. - Ah.
3 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - He really hates camping, doesn't he? That's a long stick!
4 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
It's diet time, Garfield! We're going on a fast! - - We're going off a fast! That was a terrifying three seconds!
5 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - - - - * - YOU JUST RUINED a PERFECTLY BAD MOOD!
6 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Wouldn't it be great if we could travel back in time? - I'd go back to my first day of kindergarten. - This time I'd KNOW where the little boys' room was before it was too late. I'd travel before this conversation took place.
7 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
So hot. - You should wear a hat. - So hot. So embarrassing.
8 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- SLURRRRRR- GAAAH! Hot hose water.
9 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Odie, come back! I need to dry you off. - Not a problem. - You bed seem pretty absorbent.
10 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Sigh... - I need to become the man that Liz deserves. - Technically, that would be another man.
11 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I just finished a leisurely breakfast. - Hey... - I MISSED LUNCH!
12 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
So... - So you worked in the yard yesterday without a shirt on? - Yes. It was pretty hot and sunny. Did you wear sunscreen? - Yeees. All over? - Yes, mother. Really? Even on your back? - SLAP! YES! - bust-ed.
13 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Bored? - No, thank you. I already am.
14 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
SSSSSSSS - SSSSSSSS - Isn't that quite enough? SSSSSS Said the jealous Jon.
15 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Dear Ask A Dog"... - "If you were on the moon, would you howl at the earth?" - And no, you're not going to go find out.
16 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - Why are you back in bed? Duh. It's dark out.
17 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Guess how many jelly beans I can fit in my mouth. - How many? One. - Because somebody TOOK the rest of them! The rascal.
18 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I was crossing the street this morning, and... - Z - All of Jon's stories are bedtime stories.
19 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - - Look, Garfield...a dead possum. Oh, ick. - That's disgusting. How utterly gross. - - click!
20 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The art of conversation: alive or dead? - I counted my fingers three times and got three different answers. - A moment of silence, please.
21 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Grrrrrr... - BARK! - Did you see how I built the suspense with the growl? I was on the edge of my seat.
22 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm a spider now, but someday I'll be a beautiful butterfly! - No, you'll always be a spider. Really? - Really. Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! Oh, shut up!
23 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
The yard needs mowing. So? - The candy bars need eating. So? - The dishes need washing. Wait. What was the one before that?
24 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
What are you doing, Garfield? - Looking at pictures of food on my phone. - Ah, romance. You got that right, lady!
25 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
ECHO POINT M- - Meow! - Let me finish!
26 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- I think Liz and I are getting really serious, Garfield. Oh? - Today we went to Binky Burger for lunch... - And she actually shared her soft drink with me! Wow. - AND her french fries! That IS serious. - Maybe it's time to take our
27 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm good at what I do. - Oh, me, too. - This is what we do.
28 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- click - I have never successfully taken a selfie.
29 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm bored. So am I. - SMACK! - Next time I get to pick what we do!
30 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew - Is that what I think it is? chew chew chew chew - CHEWING practice?!! The new buffet opens downtown today!
31 August 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Would you still love me if I turned into a werewolf? - I guess... - Depends on how much you shed. Welcome to my world.
1 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Cookie! - - The service here is lousy.
2 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Charcoal. Charcoal. - Lighter fluid. Lighter fluid. - Match. Match. - SSSHICK! - FOOOMF - Eyebrows. The grocery store was fresh out.
3 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- I know what we can do! - If I wanted to do something, I wouldn't be hanging around with YOU.
4 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
dooG !gninevE - !retaehT drawkcaB ot emoclew dnA - kcilc
5 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - What is that mouse doing? He's running away from me. I'll chase him later.
6 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I've lost all but two pieces of this jigsaw puzzle. - - I don't know if I can put them together. Start with the edge.
7 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Nowhere to go. - Nothing to do. - Let's go somewhere and do something! Boy, we are on different planets.
8 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
...what do you think of that? Wha...? - Tuna! - That's my fallback answer for when I haven't been paying attention.
9 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - HI, THERE! POO! - Oh! Did I startle you? - You really jumped. - That was pretty funny. - Sort of.
10 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Let's do nothing today. - Well, okay... - As long as it doesn't interfere with my plans to goof off.
11 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I heard a funny joke today. - But I don't remember the punch line. - Oh, well, "knock knock" Don't.
12 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Paradise <--- No way. - I'm pretty sure that paradise would be downhill.
13 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
A fish walks into a diner and the waitress says, "What will you have?" - And the fish says, "WATER"! Oh, how sad! Go away! - Hello? Eddie?... A fish walks into a diner...
14 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Life is easier when you have someone to shar eit with. - - Especially if that someone is a good listener.
15 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
oday is the day everything is going to go right! - - My cup is filled with bacon grease instead of coffee. Maybe tomorrow.
16 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - - - - - Summer's not over until the last wet dog has shaken. GAAAHHH
17 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
There is so much going on in the world. - It's hard to keep up. Nonsense. Just do what I do. - Ignore it.
18 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
We cats are at one with...oh, what's the word? - Let me look it up on my phone, here... - Nature!
19 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
There are no fish here, cat! No? - Nope. Moo! - Where have you been? Having a hamburger.
20 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- I * SQUIRRELS - Lost a bet.
21 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm going to practicew visiting with Liz. - We should shre our feelings. - Notice how I didn't giggle when I said that? I'm impressed.
22 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Okay, relax, Garfield. - SNORE - Rats, now I have to start over.
23 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hi, hon. - We have a new cook. - He just graduated from a culinary school. Oh? - Which school? - The Insitute of Advanced Bachelor Cusine. Wow. - What will you have? Two soups, please. - Yum.
24 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Here you go, Garfield. Tuna-flavored cat food! - - When did they stop making actual tuna?
25 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Oh, no! - I dropped my phone into the lake! - That explains the mean tweet from the carp.
26 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Some dogs chew slippers... - - And others partake.
27 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
There's nothing on woth watching. click click click - click click click click click - So I'll watch faster. click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click
28 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Good night, Liz * SMOOCH - Boy, that was a great kiss. - Why didn't YOU ever kiss me like that, Garfield? Hey! I'm eating here!
29 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
You know what was the greatest invention of all time? - Cheese! - The wheel. What kind of cheese?
30 September 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- FOR SALE - SOLD! - MOVING - - What do you think og our new neighbors, Garfield? - I * MY DOGS It's not looking good.
1 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Some call this laziness. I call it... - - Whatever another word for laziness is.
2 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Don't touch that dial! - Okay, I won't. - And what's a dial?
3 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"Dear Ask A Dog: if you could be an animal, what would you be?" - - Here's a hint...you already ARE one.
4 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
FINALLY, the house is clean! - We should have thought of this sooner. - Yea, just don't look down.
5 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I can read your mind! You're thinking... You're thinking... - You're thinking... You're thinking... You're thinking... - You're thinnnnnnnking... She's thinking "good night, dummy".
6 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have hopes and dreams. - And I have the wherewithal to dash them all. - You have that look. Come on. What else you got?
7 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
click - Hello, and welcome again to "Cooking With Lucinda Jolinda-Bolinda"! I'm your host, Lucinda Jolinda-Bolinda! - Today's recipe is a lobster roulade...crispy brick dough filled with fresh east coast lobster, pickled daikon, sauteed
8 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have been handed a bulletin that affects everyone on the planet! - Except me. -
9 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
ticka ticka ticka BEEEP! - ticka ticka ticka BEEEP! ticka ticka ticka BEEEP! ticka ticka ticka BEEEP! ticka ticka ticka BEEEP! ticka ticka ticka BEEEP! ticka ticka ticka BEEEP! - Garfield, did you change my password? Why would I do that,
10 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Z - Annoying, isn't it?
11 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
We should try to get along. Okay. - - This is kind of creepy. And we're freaking out the neighbors.
12 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
And now here's our movie reviewer, Bob... - I didn't see the movie this week. - I slept though it. Sounds good!
13 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I came...I saw... - BURP! - I pigged out!
14 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- I love fall. - I love the colors... - I love the cool days...I love the smells... - NYAAHHH - And, of course, there's Jon's annual raking meltdown. WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
15 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Laugh, anf the world laughs with you. - HA! HA! HA! HA! What else you got?
16 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Hey, cat...check it out. - I got one of those fitness trackers. - 40,000 steps today! Woo-hoo! Show-off.
17 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Here. Odie! - - Seemed like a good iea at the time.
18 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
My old sports injury is acting up. - - Crossword puzzles are a sport! Yeah, those 12-letter words can be brutal.
19 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
When I was single, I used to sit at home alone and be bored. - but now that we're a couple... - We can sit at home together and be bored! You need an exit strategy, lady.
20 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
There's something wrong with my phone. - Really? - It seemed fine when I used it to pry the freezer door open.
21 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - What are we fighting about again? Ummm... - I don't even remember. Neither do I. - This is silly. I agree. - Whatever it was, I forgive you. pat pat pat -
22 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - I'm not myself before my 17th cup of coffee.
23 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm turning into a wolf! - AROOOOOOOO! - Oh, wait. I just forgot to shave. So you're turning into a HOBO.
24 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
No, really! ...honest! - I found these holes whe I got it home! Riiiight. - We will continue with "Mothra Returns a Sweater".
25 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Tonight, on "Cooking with Dracula"... - Something special fur doze cheely fall dazes... - Crean uff neck zoop! Woe, that's a big blender.
26 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Human brain! - Must have human brain! - Notice how he walked right past you.
27 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
A little to the left...yeah...THAT'S it! - TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP TUMP - We will return to "The Wolfman Gets His Belly Scratched". He loves that.
28 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
** beedle beedle beedle - I'm on my way over to pick you up for our date now, Liz! Fine. What are you wearing? - It's a surprise! Uh-oh. Maybe you should change. - I look FINE, Liz! Don't you trust me? Put Garfield on. - Garfield, how does he
29 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'll have the spinach-stuffed flounder amadine with asparagus tips and roasted new potatoes. - Very good, ma'am. And for you, sir? - Well, your arm looks pretty darn tasty. Never date a zombie.
30 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Tonight, on Monster Horror Theater... - "Attack of the Zombie Recliner". - You're blocking my view.
31 October 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Why do dogs wear sweaters? - - I'm guessing low self-esteem.
1 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Purr! - Purr! Hey! - Purr! Eyes over here!
2 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- What can I say? - Fridays bring out the boogie in me!
3 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
We're out of cheese! - We have cake and ice cream. - But no cheese! Mice...
4 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Uh-oh. - I think I forgot my keys. - Looks like we're locked out, guys. - Guys? - flip flip flip - GARFIELD!! BANG BANG! BANG! Another pie, Odie?
5 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Boring contest! - - You always win!
6 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Did I hear you say Jon is going grocery shopping tomorrow? Yes. - Did you need something? I could use ten pound of dead flies. - Isn't that a lot? I have a big freezer.
7 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
A wise man once said... - HURK! AAACK! HURRRRRRK! GAK! - Hurrrk... Water... Ack! - I must get the t-shirt.
8 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have a very healthy lifestyle. - - Although I don't happen to have it with me at the moment.
9 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Are you loyal, Garfield? Yes, I am. - I always eat the same brand of peanut butter. - That's not what I meant. AND jelly!
10 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Cats have the opinion that they are better than everyone else. - Not so. - It's not an opinion.
11 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
tic tic tic tic tic - Activating Sleep Mode - - All done! - Want to go for a walk? - Z flump - Cats don't have a sleep mode! Cats INVENTED sleep mode.
12 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm roughing it. - - No pillow.
13 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
ECHO POINT Meow! - * ding - You Meow!
14 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Burp That was rude. - BURP! - But not rude enough!
15 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have TONS of online friends! - Well, I have SOME online friends... - Okay, I have NO online friends! Kinda like your offline life.
16 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Jon? Yes? - Kerple nop sizz fwango mook gweeble adeewong - I will NEVER understand women. I think she just called you a radish.
17 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I have a lot of great ideas, Garfield. Do tell. - Check this one out... - Fire that's hot, but not TOO hot. For when you want to undercook something?
18 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
dip - crunch crunch crunch crunch - Hey! No double-dipping! - Don't you know how unsanitary that is, you dusgusting pig?! - dip - Jon, I was thinking we might go to dinner at... - Never mind.
19 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Let's do something. Okay. - I have an idea. - Any suggestions? Let's NOT do something.
20 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Good friends are important. - BOOT! - Who else can you kick? *
21 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
"...and the cat lived happily ever after." - BURP - EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO! I heard that.
22 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm going to count my blessings. - - One.
23 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
When I diet, sometimes I skip a meal. - - Breathe!
24 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
NO SIGN READING - NO SIGN READING - NO SIGN READING AH-HA!
25 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- I downloaded a new app, Garfield. It's called "Virtual Holiday Shopper". - It simulates the actual mall experience as you christmas shop on your phone! - tap tap tap - tap tap tap - tap tap tap - I've been looking for a parking space for
26 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
There's an old Arbuckle family saying that goes like this... - "When th eantlers are upon the bear, christmas is nigh". - Christmas is nigh!
27 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
A great old christmas movie and a cup of cocoa... - What more could you possibly need? - Gingerbread fly?
28 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
And now back to "Durwood, the Obese Elf". - Woo - He really shouldn't wear those green tights.
29 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Well, I did it again! I fell off the roof trying to put up decorations! I landed right on my head! - I'm okay now, though. - Are you going to answer the phone, or should I get it? You get it.
30 November 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Wow, Jon...how did you get your christmas tree to stand so straight? - Oh, it wasn't hard at all, Liz...not for ME, anyway. - It just took some basic structural engineering. He duct-taped it to a coat rack.
1 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
(null)
2 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
(null)
3 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I should bake some christmas cookies. - - I mean, I WILL bake some christmas cookies. Good call, noel boy.
4 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Well, THOSE christmas cookies didn't last long. Burrrp - They were so good, though. - You know you're supposed to bake them first. Now you're just boring me with details.
5 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Dear Santa, How have you been? How is Mrs. Claus? How are the reindeer and elves? - How's your weather been? We have had a mild winter here so far. - I like to begin with a little idle chitchat before I make with the begging.
6 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Dear Santa, - Attached are the dimensions of our kitchen, along with the specifications for our gas hookup. - Still trying, huh? Someday he'll bring that pizza oven.
7 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield, do you hear that awful noise?! Yeah. - It sounds like a wounded WATER BUFFALO. Not to worry... - Or a hyena with a hernia. It's just Jon caroling.
8 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
...and here we have footage of a christmas caroler actually being heckled. - BOOOO! BOOOO! YOU STINK! BOOOOOOOO! - Didn't your mom make you that sweater?
9 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Garfield...Garrrr-field...GARRRR-FIEEEEEELD... - GARRRRRRR-FIEEEEELLLLD... - Who are you? I am the ghost of christmas past! - Then who are you? I am the ghost of christmas present! - Annnd that would make you... The ghost of christmas future!
10 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Christmas shopping is easy! Now, all I have to do is enter my credit card number! - - tic tic tic Don't bother. I already have it memorized.
11 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- Oh, please, oh please, oh please, oh please... - AAAGGGHHH Every time.
12 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Good evening. I'm tonight's christmas dream. A lump of coal? - I just have a couple of questions. Shoot. - What's your stocking size? This is not good.
13 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Merry Christmas, Garfield! - That is THE stupidest thing I have ever seen. - With the exception of that.
14 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
How do I look, Garfield? - It's my new christmas sweater and antler hat! - Don we now our nerd apparel.
15 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Maybe I just need to think more like Liz... - If I were her, what would I want for Christmas? - A real man? Stop with the cheey grin.
16 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Sigh... bip bip boop bip boop - I don't know what to get you for Christmas, Liz. Ohm Jon, you don't have to get me anything. - You tell me that every year! And then you go out and get ME something REALLY nive, and I feel like a horrible
17 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
One week to Christmas, Pooky! Can you stand the excitement?! - - Don't be fooled. Under that calm exterior, he's a quivering mess.
18 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I wonder what Odie would like for Christmas. He wasn't sure. - So I told him he might find some ideas online. - STINKY, SMELLY THINGS
19 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - You haven't lived until you've tried his homemade mousenog.
20 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Winter... - FUMP - has arrived.
21 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - Back off.
22 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Christmas eve eve. - - Maximum anticipation has been achieved.
23 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
- - - - - Woo-hoo! -
24 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME! - And to you, too, Jon... - If there's anything left over.
25 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm always sad when Christmas is over. - - Sigh
26 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
And so ends another Christmas. Yup. - - Oh, and thanks LOADS for the cat toy. I regift because I care.
27 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Did you like my homemade Christmas stuffing, Jon? - BURP - Garfield did. Next year she should make enough for you, too.
28 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
Do you have any resolutions for the new year, Garfield? Nope. - You can't improve on perfection. THACK
29 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
I'm taking Liz out for New Year's Eve, Garfield. - It'll be a night of fine dining and celebrating! Ah. - Back to Binky Burger to watch the clown drop.
30 December 2017

		» 1 January 2017 »
THE EXCITEMENT MOUNTS! - OKAY, EVERYONE!... - TEN!...NINE!...EIGHT!... - SEVEN!...SIX!...FIVE!... Are you ready to officially kick off the new year, Odie? - FOUR!...THREE!...TWO!...ONE!... - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! KICK!
31 December 2017

Garfield's Birthday | New Year's Eve | New Year's Day | X-max Eve | X-mas Day