Why do dogs wear sweaters? - - I'm guessing low self-esteem.
1 November 2017
Purr! - Purr! Hey! - Purr! Eyes over here!
2 November 2017
- What can I say? - Fridays bring out the boogie in me!
3 November 2017
We're out of cheese! - We have cake and ice cream. - But no cheese! Mice...
4 November 2017
- Uh-oh. - I think I forgot my keys. - Looks like we're locked out, guys. - Guys? - flip flip flip - GARFIELD!! BANG BANG! BANG! Another pie, Odie?
5 November 2017
Boring contest! - - You always win!
6 November 2017
Did I hear you say Jon is going grocery shopping tomorrow? Yes. - Did you need something? I could use ten pound of dead flies. - Isn't that a lot? I have a big freezer.
7 November 2017
A wise man once said... - HURK! AAACK! HURRRRRRK! GAK! - Hurrrk... Water... Ack! - I must get the t-shirt.
8 November 2017
I have a very healthy lifestyle. - - Although I don't happen to have it with me at the moment.
9 November 2017
Are you loyal, Garfield? Yes, I am. - I always eat the same brand of peanut butter. - That's not what I meant. AND jelly!
10 November 2017
Cats have the opinion that they are better than everyone else. - Not so. - It's not an opinion.
11 November 2017
tic tic tic tic tic - Activating Sleep Mode - - All done! - Want to go for a walk? - Z flump - Cats don't have a sleep mode! Cats INVENTED sleep mode.
12 November 2017
I'm roughing it. - - No pillow.
13 November 2017
ECHO POINT Meow! - * ding - You Meow!
14 November 2017
Burp That was rude. - BURP! - But not rude enough!
15 November 2017
I have TONS of online friends! - Well, I have SOME online friends... - Okay, I have NO online friends! Kinda like your offline life.
16 November 2017
Jon? Yes? - Kerple nop sizz fwango mook gweeble adeewong - I will NEVER understand women. I think she just called you a radish.
17 November 2017
I have a lot of great ideas, Garfield. Do tell. - Check this one out... - Fire that's hot, but not TOO hot. For when you want to undercook something?
18 November 2017
dip - crunch crunch crunch crunch - Hey! No double-dipping! - Don't you know how unsanitary that is, you dusgusting pig?! - dip - Jon, I was thinking we might go to dinner at... - Never mind.
19 November 2017
Let's do something. Okay. - I have an idea. - Any suggestions? Let's NOT do something.
20 November 2017
Good friends are important. - BOOT! - Who else can you kick? *
21 November 2017
"...and the cat lived happily ever after." - BURP - EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO! I heard that.
22 November 2017
I'm going to count my blessings. - - One.
23 November 2017
When I diet, sometimes I skip a meal. - - Breathe!
24 November 2017
NO SIGN READING - NO SIGN READING - NO SIGN READING AH-HA!
25 November 2017
- I downloaded a new app, Garfield. It's called "Virtual Holiday Shopper". - It simulates the actual mall experience as you christmas shop on your phone! - tap tap tap - tap tap tap - tap tap tap - I've been looking for a parking space for
26 November 2017
There's an old Arbuckle family saying that goes like this... - "When th eantlers are upon the bear, christmas is nigh". - Christmas is nigh!
27 November 2017
A great old christmas movie and a cup of cocoa... - What more could you possibly need? - Gingerbread fly?
28 November 2017
And now back to "Durwood, the Obese Elf". - Woo - He really shouldn't wear those green tights.
29 November 2017
Well, I did it again! I fell off the roof trying to put up decorations! I landed right on my head! - I'm okay now, though. - Are you going to answer the phone, or should I get it? You get it.
30 November 2017