Watch this, Garfield. I'm going to scurry across the table! You do that. Wheeeeee! Mice are odd.
1 April 2017
Well, here we are... Thank you for a wonderful evening, Jon. It was wonderful, wasn't it, Liz? KISSSSSSSSS SMOOOOOOOOCH KISS KISS KISS KISS KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS click click click click click SMOOOOOOO GARFIELD! STOP WITH tHE PORCHLIGHT! click click click cli
2 April 2017
* RING * RING Hmmm... * RING I've forgotten how to use that thing. And time marches on.
3 April 2017
What's that noise? The ancient greeks called it a dial tone, you idgit.
4 April 2017
Garfield, why do we still have that thing? I vaguely recall that it did have a purpose? It did. Single women used it to shoot you down.
5 April 2017
The camera on this thing doesn't work! Pity him.
6 April 2017
Poor, neglected landline. Sigh... Don'r worry, I haven't forgotten you. Thanks. Remember all those pizzas we ordered together? Good times...good times.
7 April 2017
I don't use the old landline anymore. Now it's just a conversation piece. Wasn't that its original function?
8 April 2017
Hmmmm A quiet house... An empty couch... A great old movie on TV... And a perfectly fluffed pillow. I swear... Some days just have "waste me" written all over them!
9 April 2017
We should paint the house this spring. That's a good idea. Unless, of course, in some bizarre manner the term "we" implies the inclusion of me.
10 April 2017
Hey! You almost stepped on me, creep! Oh, sorry. STOMP! How about it now?
11 April 2017
Where have you been? I was worried about you. I was abducted by aliens. Really?! Now I'M worried about YOU.
12 April 2017
Nothing exciting happes around here. That is NOT exciting. That's about all I have to work with.
13 April 2017
Now I just touch the thingy on the screen, right? Yes. Okay, everybody say "cheese"! Urf. Cheese! Meow. CLICK!
14 April 2017
Bees are social insects. It's fun hanging out. No, it's not.
15 April 2017
You know, Garfield, Jon and I have been seeing each other for a while now... I won't hold that against you. And during that time I think he's really grown as a person. As opposed to a platypus? I mean, when we were first dating he usedto embarrass me on
16 April 2017
Wow... Look at the grass grow. I love action.
17 April 2017
Where did you go, tree? I'm on vacation. Vacation? I'm a surfboard on Maui.
18 April 2017
PUNT The classics are always in style.
19 April 2017
I'm cooking dinner! Yah! I'm burning dinner! I'm ordering pizza. You should cook more often.
20 April 2017
Remember the time I got stuck in a trash can? I sure do! That was so... Tragic...so tragic.
21 April 2017
Hee-hee. I'm going to use a dog whistle to call a bunch of mutts to pester Jon. SSSSSSSSSS Oops. This must be my snake whistle.
22 April 2017
* * ** GARFIELD! Attaboy, Garfield! Thanks. We got you one, too.
23 April 2017
Some worry about oversleeping. Not me, though. I worry about over-waking.
24 April 2017
Garfield, would you like to go jogging with me? No.
25 April 2017
Odie's not as dumb as I thought. BARK BARK BARK BARK He's dumber.
26 April 2017
I'm afraid I have bad news, Curtis. Give it straight to me, Doc. You have a severe...nut allergy. NOOO!! Tough break for a squirrel.
27 April 2017
Willpower. Willpower. Indulgence power!
28 April 2017
SLURRRRK Ahhhhhhhh Needs more cat food.
29 April 2017
30 April 2017