Do you know that dogs are related to wolves? Very, very embarrassed wolves.
1 March 2018
I'd like to order a pizza. Certainly, sir...what size? Give me the Garfield. Wow! The Garfield?! Yes, I know that pizza can feed twenty people. Or one Garfield!
2 March 2018
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"! OW! TOE CRAMP! TOE CRAMP! He's such an inspiration.
3 March 2018
HA! IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?! Never call march's bluff.
4 March 2018
Pooky, should we exercise, or just sit here? Have it your way.
5 March 2018
That cloud looks like a cow. Moo! Windy today. You don't know the half of it.
6 March 2018
bat bat It's not as easy as it looks.
7 March 2018
I make the world a cooler place. But even I can do only so much.
8 March 2018
Would you like to hold paws? Is there food in your paw? No. Well? I'm trying to follow your logic.
9 March 2018
plink OW! Look! You're shedding too!
10 March 2018
Come on, Odie. Show me what you've got. It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.
11 March 2018
Just look at you... Garfield, will you ever stop being lazy? I could stop, but I'm no quitter, pal.
12 March 2018
Here you go, Garfield. Still warm from the dryer.Let's see what nature's up to. Out of order.
13 March 2018
I am so tired. Sorry, Odie. I don't have the energy to kick you today. We all have our disappointments.
14 March 2018
I've been giving the future a lot of thought. And, well... I don't see anything. What a waste of your past.
15 March 2018
Arlene, your eyes are like limpid pools of water. How sweet! With goldfish swimmming around in them... Uh... Tender, succulent goldfish. Okay, now you're creeping me out.
16 March 2018
It's time for Garfield's Helpful Household Hints. Got a squeaky hinge on a door? Feed your cat lasagna!
17 March 2018
Sigh What is it, Garfield? Thought I saw a bud on the rose.
18 March 2018
HOOP! HOOP! Jon is preparing for his annual "Dance to Spring". GUH! And no, he's not stretching. This thing gets tighter every year. I think you need to let out your stem.
19 March 2018
How, exactly, do bees make honey? MAKE honey? I've been buying it at the store. Idiot.
20 March 2018
BARK! BARK! BARK! Sorry I'm late. Shall I start over? Just give me a summary. Bark.
21 March 2018
Z The Roman Empire rose and fell again. Long nap...
22 March 2018
I'm finally getting my man cave! It's about time. I asked Liz to help me decorate. Uh-oh. I'm thinking a scrapbooking table over here... Goodbye man cave, hello craft room.
23 March 2018
Hey, Garfield! What do you think of the raisins I added to the mashed potatoes? -
24 March 2018
zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz Who are you? The first housefly of spring! Aren't you going to welcome me? SWAT I was hoping for something a little more FESTIVE! SWAT Huzzah I hate you!
25 March 2018
Today's word is "somnolence". Allow me to use it in a sentence. Z
26 March 2018
* ping! * ping! * ping! Why is a mouse texting you sad-faced emojis? We're out of cheese.
27 March 2018
"Dear Ask A Dog, what's with you dogs rooting through the garbage all the time?" Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Your denial would be more believable if you didn't have a banana peel on your head.
28 March 2018
The cheese for lunch was chewy... And then I realized that I'd left the plastic wrap on it! Funny, huh? I was going to say "sad".
29 March 2018
Are you still angy? Yes. How about now?... YES! ...now? YES!!! I'll be standing in a safe distance away.
30 March 2018
Times change. True. I used to be awesome... Now I'm REALLY awesome!
31 March 2018