Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... Jon is telling me about his day. - Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... His boring, boring day. - Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... That just took an interesting turn!
Hmmm... I woonder... - How do those dead flies get inside light fixtures? Uh-oh. Jon's wondering things again. - Does it really help to press harder on the remote control buttons when the batteries are getting low? - Could we talk faster if
Please swip your card - SWIPE - Would you like to donate a dollar to charity today? BOOP - Enter PIN boop boop boop boop - Yout total is $3.24. Is this correct? boop - What is the square root of 324? Please show your work. - ALL I WANT IS A
Liz... - Liz, I...I...I...I... - You see, I, uhhhhhhhhhh... ummmmm...I...errrr... - Well, it's just that I...uhhhhh...you know, ummmm... - I love you too, Jon. * - - And I bet you thought I couldn't say it!
click Play - Hi. I'm Whiskers, and welcome to "Proper Techniques for Shredding Sofa Arms". - In this web tutorial, I'll be instructing you cats out there on the finer points of this fun and creative pastime. - Let's warm up now with some
Hmmm... - What do you want to do today, Jon? How about something *I* want to do for a change? - What do you mean? We ALWAYS do what you want to do. - WE DO?! Well. we don't exactly do what I want to do. - I THOUGHT THAt WAS BECAUSE YOU LOVEd
WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH? - Call Liz. CALLING FIZZ. - No, call LIZ. CALLING WHIZ. - NO...look, call Doctor Wilson. CALLING DOCTOR THRILLSOME - NO!! NEVER MIND!! - RIIINNNG RIIINNNG - YOU HAVE REACHED THE MAILBOX OF LORENZO NEVERMIND
Jon?--- Jon, how do you feel about our relationship? - I couldn't be happier, Liz. I must be the luckiest man on earth to have met someone as wonderful as you. - In the time we've been together, I feel I've matured and grown...and you're
- Look, Garfield. Only one donut left. - If you ate it, I'd feel sad because I didn't get any. - If I ate it, I'd feel guilty because you didn't get any. - So, consider this... - If we shared it, I'd be happy that we both got some! - It's
BARK! BARK! - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - BARK! BARK! BARK! - Excuse me. - I have here a petition signed by everyone in the neighborhood, asking you to stop barking. - - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! He ate it.
You know, Garfield, I'm a pretty lucky guy. Lucky, lucky, lucky. I have my health, a loving family, a good home... - A decent car, impressive sock collection, a wonderful girlfriend, nifty cell phone, yep... - I pretty much have everything.
Meow meow meow moeow - What#s that, Fluffy?! You say Timmy fell down a well and needs our help?! Meow meow - Where's the well, Fluffy?! Show me the way! Purrrr - No, I don't have any liver treats! Now come on! Timmy needs us! squeek squeek -
- BAT - BAT BAT BAT - BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT - BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT - - You're out of toilet paper.
HUP! - Umff...ummmmfff...errrrgggh... - roll roll roll - roll roll roll - THUD - I hope you appreciate this. - It takes me all DAY to clean that waffle iron! Where's my bucket of freshly churned sweet creamery butter and my barrel ofvanilla
riiiiing riiiiing - Are you ready for our big date tonight, Jon? Sort of. - What do you mean? I'm still wokring on my hair. - What's wrong with your hair? It won't lay down. - Why no? Well, Garfield's been practicing all day. - Practicing
CAW! CAW! - ROAAARRR! Lion. - GRRRRRR! Tiger. - HOWWWWL! Wofl. - ARRRRRRRR! Bear. - SHRIEEEEEEEEEEK!!! And my favorite... - Hey! That's the video from the zoo! Jon with a lemur on his head. GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
Garfield! - Look, Garfield! This calendar is filled with pictures of cats doing cute things! - Cute like this? - Or this? gweek gweek - Anything along these lines? FRRT FRRT FRRT FRRT - If not, those aren't real cats. - Never mind. They're
YAWN - What kind of nap should I do today? The Doily? Nah... - The Ball? Nah... - The Laptop Layout? Nah... - The Sock-Drawer Snooze? Naaaah... - I guess it's true what they say... - You just can't beat the classics!