1978 1979 1980 1981 1982 1983 1984 1985 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019
 
 


 
   
Garfield

Life has its ups and downs. - - This is an "up".

1 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog, is a dog's bark worse than his bite?" - Yip! Yip! Yip! - Yes, but only if the dog wears dentures.

2 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

tap tap tap BAM! OW! MY THUMB! - tap tap tap BAM! OW! MY THUMB! - I've decided not to hang that picture. Run out of thumbs?

3 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I admire people with integrity. - Integrity? I have LOTS of integrity! - Really? Yeah, I stole it off a guy.

4 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Don't even think about it. - My face told on me.

5 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

WAH! WUMP! - WAH! WUMP! - WAH! WUMP! - WAH! WUMP! - WAH! WUMP! - WAH! WUMP! I guess I was wrong. - I thought ice skating would be a fun date night. WAH! WUMP! I'm having a ball.

6 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Today's forecast... - Boring, with a 50 percent chance of dull. - Hi, Garfield. Make that 100 percent.

7 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... Jon is telling me about his day. - Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... His boring, boring day. - Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... That just took an interesting turn!

8 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Grrrr. I hate cats! - Cats drive me crazy! - And you're really good at it! The pleasure is all mine.

9 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I don't have a problem in the world! - Oh, wait... - I was thinking of some other world. Then you should go there.

10 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon, please don't make a fuss over my birthday. - Are you sure? Absolutely. - I have to make a fuss over Liz's birthday. Absolutely.

11 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Come on down! - Check out our new arrivals... - "Wet Dog" and "Possum Carcass"! - Never buy scented candles at a pet store.

12 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm... I woonder... - How do those dead flies get inside light fixtures? Uh-oh. Jon's wondering things again. - Does it really help to press harder on the remote control buttons when the batteries are getting low? - Could we talk faster if

13 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Coming up, on Cliffhanger Theater... - -

14 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

What are those mice doing in the living room?! - I believe that's the hokey-pokey. - Garfield... Hang on. Now they're doing a conga line.

15 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- ZWIP - Yeah, squirrels sire are mean, Odie.

16 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Help! This is way too much pizza for me to eat! - I'LL save you!

17 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

What good are you?! Why are you even here?! - You're worthless! - Yelling at empty trash cans again? I'm hungry!

18 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes I just can't stop smiling. - - I said, "sometimes".

19 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - - - - - Was there a "Supermoon" tonight? Nope, Just a goofy one.

20 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't help but feel that I've forgotten something. - Oh, yeah! - Z

21 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I've been thinking about my life. What about it? - What if things don't go wrong? Say what? - I mean, success can be harder to deal with than failure. Just as long as there's pizza on the table...

22 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

We'll be right back to our commercial... - Right after this commercial. - But first... Oh, come on!

23 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

This cat food tastes sort of like chicken. - How about that. - It's made from sort-of chickens.

24 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Good news, bad news. - My tires are okay. - But my car went flat. Only you, Jon.

25 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I suppose you thought that looked stupid on me. - It did. - But Pooky can pull it off.

26 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - SLAP! - - SLAP! - - BOOMP!

27 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF CAT - - At least until I've had my coffee.

28 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I slept... - Then I ate. - So, how was YOUR day?

29 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you like to fetch the stick, Garfield? - - Apparently not.

30 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, why is the kitchen filled with mice? - - Looks like they're having a lodge meeting.

31 January 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Is this the last chip? You saved me the last chip? Yup. - munch munch mun- - It's stale. Duh.

1 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

It took me an hour... - But I finally got that jar of peanut butter open. - The empty one? The empty one.

2 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Please swip your card - SWIPE - Would you like to donate a dollar to charity today? BOOP - Enter PIN boop boop boop boop - Yout total is $3.24. Is this correct? boop - What is the square root of 324? Please show your work. - ALL I WANT IS A

3 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - I almost did something today. You got me beat.

4 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I shall now meditate and find my center. - I sense that my center is empty. - I shall now fill my center with a donut.

5 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie I swear you've grown a foot taller today! - -

6 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- I wonder what would happen if I were allergic to cats. - You'd have to move out.

7 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I read Shakespeare today. - I read the washing instructions on my shirt today! - Liz and I have been discussing literature. Your shirt shrank.

8 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I know where there's some cheese. - - You d amouse! It's what I do.

9 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz... - Liz, I...I...I...I... - You see, I, uhhhhhhhhhh... ummmmm...I...errrr... - Well, it's just that I...uhhhhh...you know, ummmm... - I love you too, Jon. * - - And I bet you thought I couldn't say it!

10 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I am my own boss. - * - I gave myself the morning off.

11 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are the smartest beings in the world. - - Not that the competition is all that tough.

12 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I sense the powers of darkness are gathering. - Hey, Garfield, instead of a hamburger, how about a veggie burger? - They're heeere.

13 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Our love is like a I'm stuck, Garfield. - - Our love is like a cheese doodle.

14 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm so tired I can't think straight. - Oh, come on, Jon, don't be so hard to yourself. - Maybe you're just dumb. pat pat

15 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - Pooky never complains when I cheat.

16 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - - - - - We now go to a live helicopter shot of the runaway snow saucer on the interstate 67... Cheese doodle?

17 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Get up, Garfield! - You've got things to do! - Oh, there's motivation for you.

18 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"This is a story about a cat..." - "Who always gets...his...way". - How is this a fairy tale? Just read.

19 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

How does Odie keep his brain sharp? - munch munch munch - By eating a crossword puzzle every day.

20 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Garfield! What's going on?! - Gouda wheels are half off at Cheese World!

21 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

With the help of my assistant, Jon, I will make everyone disappear! - IT'S POLKA TIME!! - Hey! Where'd everybody go? Ta-dah!

22 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

And now back to "Attack of the 50-Foot Cat". - Here he comes, men! Let's distract him... - Deploy the 100-foot laser pointer! Oooo!

23 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

click Play - Hi. I'm Whiskers, and welcome to "Proper Techniques for Shredding Sofa Arms". - In this web tutorial, I'll be instructing you cats out there on the finer points of this fun and creative pastime. - Let's warm up now with some

24 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I will do... - Whatever it takes... - To not do whatever it takes.

25 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

When you see a problem... - You deal with it. -

26 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Next on "Nature's Biggest Enemies"... - A spider battles a giant wasp. - Sweet! I have five flies on this fight!

27 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Help! Help! - Save me from the quicksand, Whiskers! - Wake up and save me, you lazy cat! Hey, pal, this cat has his priorities, okay?

28 February 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I had a bad night last night. Oh, so did I. - A dog chased me up a tree. How about you? - I spent the whole night not getting any sleep, what with all the barking and screaming going on.

1 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- blink - Pooky has never lost a staring contest.

2 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - - - - POIT POIT -

3 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I like to think before I act. - - And think and think and think...

4 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to read a book a day! - Wow, this is long. Maybe a book a week. - Oh, forget it. I'll go see a movie based on a book. Or just watch the trailer.

5 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask a Dog, who's stronger? Cats or dogs?" - HUHHHHHHHHHHHH - Dogs, but only if you count their breath.

6 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- SHOOP! - Thought I heard a can opener.

7 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm a serious man, Liz. - Your clown nose fell off. - Like I was saying... Let's change the subject, shall we?

8 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I can speak most animal languages. - Although my squirrel is a little rusty. - chitter chitter chitter Say what?

9 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - - - HOO HOO HOO HOO - That's not for us. The people next door ordered pizza. - What a waste of perfectly good happy dance.

10 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - Am I boring? Only when you talk.

11 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Why does everyone spend so much time on their phones? - Let me look that up. tap tap - tap tap While you're at it, look up "irony".

12 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

13 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats sense when something bad is going to happen. - Know why? - Because we're usually the cause of it.

14 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, your eyes are lovely. - Why, yes, they are lovely. - Do you MIND?! And your eyes look a little grumpy.

15 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

A word of advice, Garfield... - Just because you see somebody do something in a movie... - Doesn't mean YOU can do it. Why are you limping?

16 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm... - What do you want to do today, Jon? How about something *I* want to do for a change? - What do you mean? We ALWAYS do what you want to do. - WE DO?! Well. we don't exactly do what I want to do. - I THOUGHT THAt WAS BECAUSE YOU LOVEd

17 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Wake up, Garfield! - This book has 1001 boredom busters! Poor Jon... - Boredom Buster Number One... "Make a dollhouse out of a shoebox"? He means well.

18 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

He thought he was prett clever... - Thought he could outsmart me. But I tracked him down. - Back to the sock drawer, mister! "Here Lies Jon Arbuckle: he was smarter than a sock".

19 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I appreciate beauty. - Ta-dah! - Genuine beauty doesn't have to "ta-dah!" I heard that!

20 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

It's warm out. - - Great. Now I'm cold.

21 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I made salad, spinach casserole and steamed asparagus! - - And cookies! zip! Chocolate chips? zip! With sprinkles?!

22 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Could you please stop shedding? - Certainly! - I'll put that on my schedule for next october.

23 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH? - Call Liz. CALLING FIZZ. - No, call LIZ. CALLING WHIZ. - NO...look, call Doctor Wilson. CALLING DOCTOR THRILLSOME - NO!! NEVER MIND!! - RIIINNNG RIIINNNG - YOU HAVE REACHED THE MAILBOX OF LORENZO NEVERMIND

24 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

What a nice day. - I imagine... - Why don't you open your eyes? Why chance it?

25 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I was on the debate team. - I even won my first debate! - Actually, my opponent forfeited when I started to cry. Pathetic, yet effective.

26 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

You want me to throw the ball? - Hang on. - Okay, I'm ready.

27 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

BEWARE OF CAT Whoa... - Watch out, people. - I might just criticize your wardrobe.

28 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, your eyes are like... - Um...like...like... - Like round, squishy balls that you see through. And they say romance is dead.

29 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

My uncle Iggy died. - It was tragic. - He ate so much cheese that he exploded. Hey, isn't that how we all want to go?

30 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - - - - - All I did was ask him if he wanted to go for a ride in the car. How does he do that ceiling thing?

31 March 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not always sarcastic. - - Sometimes I'm asleep.

1 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

If I were an astronomer... - I could discover a new planet. And they'd name it after me! "Planet Dipward".

2 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie is trying to be more like me. Z - Z - I'd lose the tail wag there, pal. Z

3 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - My new place isn't quite finished. Ah.

4 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Where do chicken wings come from? - The oven. - Not chickens? Chickens have ovens?

5 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Nothing lasts forever. - Diet cat food. - It just seems that way.

6 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Come on, Garfield. Put a smile on your face! Sure... - How about the salesman smile? - The smug smile? - The fake smile? Or the vicory smile! - Stop smiling! I thought you'd never ask.

7 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I like to think I make the world a better place in which to... - SNORE - sleep.

8 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I've decided to give back to the world. - But first... - I'm going to take a bunch of stuff.

9 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- LOOK, Odie! -

10 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Here's when mom was on her knitting binge. - She knitted sweaters for everyone in the family. - And then for the chickens. The rhinestones are a bit much.

11 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

For you, Liz, I would climb the highest mountain! - Although that sounds scary... - PLEAS DON'T MAKE ME! Oh, go ahead.

12 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! BARK! - You don't seem as tough with those glasses on. - Oh, boo-hoo!! I'M SORRY!!

13 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon?--- Jon, how do you feel about our relationship? - I couldn't be happier, Liz. I must be the luckiest man on earth to have met someone as wonderful as you. - In the time we've been together, I feel I've matured and grown...and you're

14 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Is that coffee too strong? - NO!

15 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

The best things in life are free. - And so are the worst things. - It's the stuff in between that's expensive!

16 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog"... - "When you howl, are you singing?" - AROOOOOOOOOOOO!! That would be a "no".

17 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Fun fact... - SCHLURRRRK - Gravy can be classified as a beverage!

18 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

YOWLLL! - Do you think I have a good yowling voice? Lovely! - ...and then I pretended to get a phone call.

19 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I was born to dance! - No, you weren't. - THEN WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE FEET?!

20 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Look, Garfield. Only one donut left. - If you ate it, I'd feel sad because I didn't get any. - If I ate it, I'd feel guilty because you didn't get any. - So, consider this... - If we shared it, I'd be happy that we both got some! - It's

21 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

You have many faults, Garfield. - And a donut. - Is that all you can think about? AND a cup of coffee.

22 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Scientists made a discovery today... - After exhaustive research on the effects of dog breath... - They've found it to be an excellent paint remover. Finally, a use for dogs.

23 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm learning a second language. - Meow meow meow meow meow meow - How was that? You just asked for directions to the pipe wrench.

24 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Uh-oh. We lost power... - For a second... Don't worry. I cleaned out the fridge so nothing would spoil

25 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I hurt my finger. I won't be able to play the accordion for weeks. - -

26 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

And that's why hats make lousy cereal bowls. Okaaay... - I'm starting all my conversations at the end now. - It's a real time-saver. And a blessing.

27 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

BARK! BARK! - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - BARK! BARK! BARK! - Excuse me. - I have here a petition signed by everyone in the neighborhood, asking you to stop barking. - - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! He ate it.

28 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

CAT AT WORK - - Break time.

29 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

My uncle Clarence was a circus clown. - He retired last year. - Thirty of his buddies came to the retirement party in one car. Once a clown, always a clown.

30 April 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I feel safer knowing there's a dog in the house. - - Protecting us from bad bones.

1 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Hey... - We're like before-and-after pictures. Shut up.

2 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Do you think I'd make a good cowboy? - What if a horse steps on your foot? Oh... - Well, do you think I'd make a good ballet dancer? Not with that limp.

3 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Eat healthy, people! - And avoid snacks. - Snacks are mine.

4 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! - Look, Garfield! I found my old answering machine, and the tape is still in it! - Let's listen to all of my old messages! click - - - - SOB Ah, memories.

5 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN - - How's your morning? The commute wasn't too bad.

6 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Leftovers: noun..." - "Food remaining uneaten at the end of a meal." - See? It IS a word. Fascinating.

7 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

A recent study revealed that four out of five dogs are profoundly stupid. - - The fifth is profoundly ugly.

8 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

*PING! *PING! *PING! *PING! - GARFIELD! - Would you stop posting those pictures?! Hey, that litter box isn't going to clean itself, pal.

9 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Dinner ideas? Let's see... - A couple of pizzas, donuts, lasagna, some garlic bread... - And whatever you're having, of course. Of course.

10 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

That new coffee place opened. Their sizes are huge! - I got the Cafe Colossal! - I got the mother of the Cafe Colossal.

11 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Garfield! Dinner! - SHOOP! - GULP! - SHOOP! - THAT'S IT?! - BURP! There we go.

12 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Today I'm introducing a new feature. - - I call it "Look at the Handsome Cat".

13 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

You know what's interesting? - What? - Those little villages made out of toothpicks! You know who's dull?

14 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

ZOOOOOOM - GARFIELD! DO SOMETHING! Sure thing. - SLOW

15 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

They say to avoid burping, you should drink slowly. gluk gluk gluk gluk - BURP! - Or you can just ler 'er rip!

16 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Purr Aww! - - Purr Nice try.

17 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask a Dog..." - "Do you bite?" Hmmm - Bark? Bark? No, this letter is not from a steak.

18 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Let me guess... - You want me to throw that stick, right? - SWISH All right...fetch the stick, boy! - Ha! I faked him out! - How gullible can you get? Poor Odie. Poor, dumb Odie. - GARFIELD

19 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

The world is my oyster. - No, that's not it... - The world is my pizza!

20 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

You know, Garfield, I'm a pretty lucky guy. Lucky, lucky, lucky. I have my health, a loving family, a good home... - A decent car, impressive sock collection, a wonderful girlfriend, nifty cell phone, yep... - I pretty much have everything.

21 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Z a-HEM - Oh, sorry. - BARK BARK BARK BARK Good help is so hard to find.

22 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Cats are adorable. - No? - How about now?

23 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

We should do something. You bet. - But we won't. Becaaause?... - We're cats. High five!

24 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

My cookies are made with a secret ingredient. - What is it? - It's a SECRET, you dipwad! You don't mess with grandma.

25 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Hey, Garfield! Let's do something! - We could take a walk! - Fly a kite! - Learn to knit! Plant a garden! - - Or you can ignore everything I say. Yeah, let's do that one.

26 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes in the morning... - I like to go for a walk. - Get off my face! On my way to breakfast.

27 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- I am NOT cleaning that up! - Yeah, I like it, too.

28 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- kick - Pavlov was right.

29 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Once I set my mind on something... - Did you hear that?! - Now, what was I talking about? Cheesecake.

30 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Arlene... - Someday I'll take you away from all of this. - But I like it here. Whew!

31 May 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I seriously doubt that Garfield is conspiring against you. - Oh, good. - That puts my mind at ease. Unless I told her to say that.

1 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- phhhhhtttbbb! - nyah nyah nyah - kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss - Stupid dog! - WAIT! - Stupis doggy door! slap! slap! slap! slap!

2 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I couldn't eat another byte. - - There's a sentence I've never said before.

3 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Time for your performance review, Jon. - Oh, my... - This might be a good time to bribe me with some treats.

4 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

We should join forces. To do what? - Uh... - Nothing? I'm in!

5 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

There's a key to getting down from a tree. - SNAP! - It's called gravity.

6 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Liz, may I call you "baby"? - I'd rather you didn't. Oh. - That goes double for me.

7 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Forgive and forget. - Or, as we cats say... - Hold a grudge and plot your revenge.

8 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - - DIP - - *** - When the kiddie pool is warm, the world is a beautiful place.

9 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Time to take a brisk walk! - - What are you doing? Taking the "brisk" out of "walk".

10 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Yikes. - The world is nuts! - Not on my corner of it.

11 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog..." - "If you're so smart, how come somebody has to read you the questions?" - Grrr! That's a good one.

12 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

My birthday is creeping up on me. I can feel it. - Or, maybe I'm just being paranoid. -

13 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

How many of us birthday candles will you be needing on your cake this year? 41. - 41, you say... - ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE US EXTINCT?!!!

14 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

You're gonna be 41? Boy, that's OLD. No, it isn't. - - Do they still let you drive? Leave me alone.

15 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

tick - PERSONAL INFORMATION: PLEASE COMPLETE ALL FIELDS tick - YEAR BORN 2019...2014 - scroll scroll - scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll - scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll - Forget it.

16 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- That was his "I know someone who has a birthday coming up" look. - And this is my "Yeah, yeah, don't remind me" look.

17 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I wish people would quit reminding me about my birthday, - - I SAID...

18 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

GARFIELD - BOOT! - Best birthday present EVER!

19 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

How does it feel to be old? I am NOT old! - Sorry...I'll rephrase the question. Thank you. - How does it feel to be in massiv denial?

20 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Pets are nice. - That's so true. - Jon, we've decided to keep you.

21 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Coming up next... - on Fantasy Theater... - "The Hard-Working Cat" Weird.

22 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Meow meow meow moeow - What#s that, Fluffy?! You say Timmy fell down a well and needs our help?! Meow meow - Where's the well, Fluffy?! Show me the way! Purrrr - No, I don't have any liver treats! Now come on! Timmy needs us! squeek squeek -

23 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes I let my ind wander... - - That's as close as I get to exercise.

24 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

* - * ** * Nice. - Dinner and a show.

25 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog, do you bury bones in your backyard?" - "If so, where exactly?" - Nice try, Mrs. Feeny's dog!

26 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Sometimes I amaze myself. - Other times I'm flat-out awestruck.

27 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't make our date tonight, Arlene. - But I have someone who can fill in. - Not much of a talker, but he's a lot cuter than Garfield. I heard that!

28 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Contrary to popular belief... - Sometimes last is best... - The last donut, the last cookie, the last chip...

29 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- BAT - BAT BAT BAT - BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT - BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT BAT - - You're out of toilet paper.

30 June 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes I'm asleep... - And sometimes I'm awake... - WISHING I was asleep.

1 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you need to do something. - We have a big mice problem. Really? - According to the mice, we have a big Jon problem.

2 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

What's new, Odie? Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! - Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! - Can't you just say "Oh, nothing much" like everybody else? Bark!

3 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hungry, Garfield? - - What's that got to do with anything?

4 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Listen, Arlene! * - They're playing our song! ** * ** ** * - That's an ice cream truck. I'm getting all misty here.

5 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

The world is coming to an end! - - And, once again, the world is saved by a cup of coffee.

6 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - - - - - Yeah, I still got it. *

7 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"What's the use?" - - I like to start my day with a demotivational thought.

8 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not calling a plumber this time, Garfield. drip drip drip drip Ho boy... - All you need is the right tool. drip drip drip drip - With the right too, Jon can break anything.

9 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at that. - Odie is digging a hole. - That can't be good for the rug.

10 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

This movie looks interesting. - But it has subtitles. Boooring. - It's about dog-eating komodo dragons. I'll pop the popcorn.

11 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, I've decided to grow a beard! - It'll make me more manly. boop bip boop - Hi, Liz...uh, honey, I have this idea... Ask nicely, Mr. Manly.

12 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield, the delivery guy just told me this is the fifteen-thousandth pizza we've ordered! - Hmmmm - By golly, he's right.

13 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Get in, Garfield! Jon, Jon, Jon... - One does not simply "get in" a kiddie pool... - - - - One must make a splash!

14 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember, people... - Laughter is the best medicine. - Unless you have stitches.

15 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - We're awfully good at this.

16 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask a Dog, what qualifies you to guard a house?" - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - It seems unlikely that it would be your big muscles.

17 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

It's too bad that cute isn't contagious. - Why would you say tha... - HEY!

18 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

This is a donut. - Stop eating donuts. - This is a carrot.

19 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Where have you been? Fishing. - Fishing? Yup. - Got a can opener?

20 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

HUP! - Umff...ummmmfff...errrrgggh... - roll roll roll - roll roll roll - THUD - I hope you appreciate this. - It takes me all DAY to clean that waffle iron! Where's my bucket of freshly churned sweet creamery butter and my barrel ofvanilla

21 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I * - I * - I * --->

22 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, Mary Beth Skeevers. - She really liked me. - She had an unusual skin condition. Those earrings really bring out her scales.

23 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Odie's very smart. - His brain is in perfect shape. - Becaus eit's never been used.

24 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm thinking about getting a new car. - - An ice cream truck? Check out the giant fudge pop on the roof!

25 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Would you be surprised to learn I was a superhero? - Very, very, very, very, very, very surprised. - that's a lot of verys! Not nearly enough.

26 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I enjoy the classics. - Ah, yes... - A 1940 first edition "All-Butter Cookbook".

27 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

riiiiing riiiiing - Are you ready for our big date tonight, Jon? Sort of. - What do you mean? I'm still wokring on my hair. - What's wrong with your hair? It won't lay down. - Why no? Well, Garfield's been practicing all day. - Practicing

28 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm planning my menu for the week. - Let's see, what do I want to eat? How abouuuut... - EVERYTHING!

29 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Have you ever been in a storm where it's blowing so hard the rain comes sideways? - GISSSSHHHH - Can't say as I have.

30 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - Yup. I'm the good-looking one.

31 July 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

tap tap tap - - You eat too fast. You feed too slow.

1 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Arlene, when it comes to looks, charm and wit, you have no competition. - Garfield! Dinner! Gotta go! - Now if I could only compete with that belly of his.

2 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

A penny for your thoughts. - For MY thoughts? - A penny isn't much. Overpriced, I'd say.

3 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- I'm starting my diet today. - And rule on of dieting... - tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic - *DING-DONG* - Never start a diet on an empty stomach!

4 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Three minutes and forty-five seconds. - That's how long your diet lasted. A NEW RECORD!

5 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I always finish what I start. - - And what Jon starts as well. Get away from my steak.

6 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog, what makes you such an expert?" - Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! - There's no such thing as a dog university.

7 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Greetings, earthlings... - We come in peace... - Take us to your theme parks! That explains the Hawaiian shirts and flip-flops.

8 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Too bad we didn't meet in high school, Liz. - I could have asked you to the prom. - Would you have said yes? Um... I think she was flossing her cat that night.

9 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Nice day. - A gnat just flew up my nose! - Unless you're a gnat.

10 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Garfield! - I can make myself disappear. Watch! - - - -

11 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

ah, napping... - Or, as I like to call it... - Pressing life's pause button.

12 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, remember what Franklin Roosevelt said... - "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself". - I bet Franklin never had to stare down month-old sauerkraut.

13 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Z - BARK! - Worst alarm clock ever.

14 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Excuse me. - Is the ice age over? Yes. - Woo-hoo! Party! These pepperoni-and-deep-fried-cheese dreams are the weirdest.

15 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I like this new tea.flavored coffee. - Why don't you just drink tea? - Jon? Logic has that effect on him.

16 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

purr purr purr - purr purr purr - Latest issue of "Yarn Enthusiast".

17 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

hummmmmmmmmm - hummmmmmmmmm - hummmmmm-BWEEEP! - BWEEP! BWEEP! BWEEEEEEEEEEP! - dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig - Ah-HA! Uh-oh. - MY aCCORDION! I TOLD you to bury it deeper.

18 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello, Weekend! - BLINK! - Hello, Monday.

19 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I am a house cat. - - Otherwise known as a sunbeam devotee.

20 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog, am I wrong to feed my dog fattening snacks?" - Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! - Yes. Those should go to the cat.

21 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

We mice are pretty sneaky, you know. - Oh, I don't know about that. - Says who?

22 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not in a bad mood. - But I look like I am. Me, too. - It's fun being a cat. Oh, yeah.

23 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- I've got an eye on you. I've got an eye on YOU. - This is disturbing. I was going to say "weird".

24 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hhhhhh... - Let's see...what should I have today? - CLOP CLOP CLOP - CLOP CLOP CLOP - Ah, yes! A nice 2014 red! - CLOP CLOP CLOP Every cat should have his own yarn cellar.

25 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Should I get out of bed this morning? - We're out of coffee, but we do have a lovely lavender herbal tea! - That would be a "nope".

26 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Happy tuesday! - Tuesday! - It feels more like monday, the sequel.

27 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

What do dogs have that cats don't? - - A built-in humidifier.

28 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Sigh... - Such memories... - I'll never forget high school. Also known as "The Wedgie Years".

29 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I've been working out! That's great. - High five! - I can't. Today was arm day.

30 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

The secret to losing weight is not eating less... - And it's not exercise... - It's setting the scale back five pounds!

31 August 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

tap - ** - *** - ** ** * - * * * * * - Never underestimate the power of a great playlist. **

1 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I slept all day. - Let's see... - That's seven days in cat time.

2 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Wow...I can hear the ocean. - Good Wi-Fi on this beach!

3 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog, what is your philosophy of life?" - Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. - "As you walk along the road of life, remember to stop and sniff everything."

4 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Ah, coach Jarrett. - I'll never forget what he told me... - "You have the upper-body strength of a 5-year-old". How motivating.

5 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Am I annoying you? No. - You sure? Yes. - Wow, I'm really off my game.

6 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Sometimes I wonder...is this all there is? - ...is there more? - Seriously, dude. I could go for seconds.

7 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Welcome once again to "Dog Horror Theater" - Tonights feature... "The Bath". - - snap! - Oh, come on... - It's not THAT scary!

8 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, you should get more exercise. - Some exercise. - Any exercise. Does telling you to shut your piehole count?

9 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I can't find my keays. - Or my shoes. - Or my pants. SNAP! Aaand there goes your dignity.

10 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask a Dog..." - "Jingle, jingle, jingle" - "Signed, the car keys".

11 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Greetings cat. I have decided to become a serious person. - - How was that? Pretty good, huh?! You had me there for a moment.

12 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Let's bake cookies! - SHOVE - Nice idea!

13 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- KALE MUFFINS - Care to talk about it? About the world coming to an end? No, thanks!

14 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

CAW! CAW! - ROAAARRR! Lion. - GRRRRRR! Tiger. - HOWWWWL! Wofl. - ARRRRRRRR! Bear. - SHRIEEEEEEEEEEK!!! And my favorite... - Hey! That's the video from the zoo! Jon with a lemur on his head. GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

15 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, no! - The power grid is down! - There's a power grid?

16 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm going to swat you, spider! - Whoa! - This magazine is heavier than I expected. Amateur.

17 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Okay, Odie, pick a card. - ...any card. - There's only one! How hard can it be?! ...says the human to the dog.

18 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM - MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM - You're too fat. You're just jealous of my new freight elevator.

19 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, Arlene. - "Oh, Arlene, you look so beautiful" Uh...was I supposed to say that? - Oh, forget it! What's the line again?

20 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

It's time to lose weight and get into shape. - - Now it's too late.

21 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield! - Look, Garfield! This calendar is filled with pictures of cats doing cute things! - Cute like this? - Or this? gweek gweek - Anything along these lines? FRRT FRRT FRRT FRRT - If not, those aren't real cats. - Never mind. They're

22 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Oh, sure... - This may not look hard... - But you try cramming this much nothing into a day.

23 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- - Do you think I spend too much time staring at my phone? Considering that it's not on, yes.

24 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog, what should I feed my dog to make him smarter?" - I'll take this one, Odie. - Cat food.

25 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP! ECHO POINT - BURP! - Excuse me. I didn't say that!

26 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

27 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- YAWN - Sleepy, huh? No. That was my "You're boring" yawn.

28 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmmm... Snack time. - Empty! - - - Aha! - -

29 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Jon is a fun guy. - Who's up for a sneezing contest?! - I hate fun people.

30 September 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm a take-charge kind of guy. - *DING-DONG* - What should we do? Revel in the irony of the moment?

1 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- GAH! - I never should have taught him that.

2 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

BURP! - Whoa! Was that thunder?! - No, that was me. Cool! Do lightning.

3 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

If the world were to end today... WHAT?! - It IS?! - I said, "if"! Stop hugging your accordion!

4 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at that beautiful sunset! - Okay. - It's over there. Tell it to move.

5 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

YAWN - What kind of nap should I do today? The Doily? Nah... - The Ball? Nah... - The Laptop Layout? Nah... - The Sock-Drawer Snooze? Naaaah... - I guess it's true what they say... - You just can't beat the classics!

6 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Listen to this... - They say chewing gum on a diet helps prevent hunger. Really? - I find chewing bacon works even better.

7 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

It's a beautiful day outside. - It's a beautiful day in the kitchen! - Now it's raining. It's always a beautiful day in the kitchen.

8 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask A Dog, what kind of dog are you anyway?" - Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! - A hockey fan.

9 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

check out my menacing Glare - - No, no, wait. I think I can do it better. No, that was pretty scary.

10 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

This is my house, Arlene. - - Who's that? Oh, just some stray I took in.

11 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Pooky is great. - - But not THAT great.

12 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Ahhhhhh... - BURP! - That's for the main course... - BURP BURP BURP - The three side dishes... - burp - And the after-dinner mint.

13 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

And here's the weather forecast. - I won't say the weather is bad, but... - There's no point of getting out of bed. YES!

14 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hello! - I'm Benny the Balloon Animal. - You look a little overinflated yourself. Go hug a cactus.

15 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

"Dear Ask a Dog, what beverage goes best with dog food? - Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Seriously? - A cold bottle of sparkling toilet water?

16 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Look at the fluffy kitty... - She's staring at you. - It means "I love you". Actually it means "If you were smaller, I'd eat you".

17 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

How long until dinner, Liz? - As soon as the broccoli is done. - How long does it take for broccoli to cook? Hopefully long enough for the pizza to get here.

18 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

And the heroic dog... - Has saved the day! - Must not have been much of a day. click

19 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Wooooo!... - I am the ghost of a hamburger that you ate! - - Wooooo!... munch munch - I am the gost of a gost of a hamburger that you ate! - OH, COME ON!

20 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey... - I have nothing to do. - Need any help?

21 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- You aren't bothering me with your staring. - YAAAAAHHHH!!

22 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

We now return th "Cat Horror Theater". - Z - Wake up, Fluffy! YAAAHH

23 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

OW! That's my eye! Sorry. - OW! That's my OTHER eye! Sorry. - We'll return the "The Invisible Man Gets a Tattoo" OW!

24 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I've DONE it Igor! Done what, master? - I've attached the brain of a pig to a beanpole! - What IS it. master? Me, in high school!

25 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Oooh! A worm! - Oooh! A bird! -

26 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Ugggghhh... - Errrrggghhh... - - - CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE - - -

27 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

General, here comes The Great Mutant Puppies! - We have to protect the city! But how, sir? - Cover everything! That's a LOT of newspaper.

28 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

My creation is alive! - Now, speak! Speak! Bark! Bark! - Igooooor? Where did you get that braaaain? Igor's in big trouble.

29 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

And now back to "The Wolfman's Job Interview". - So, Mr. Talbot, do you have any special skills? - On a full moon, I can sit and roll over. Sounds like management material.

30 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Uh... - Hang on. - Boo. You had to write that down?

31 October 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Purrr That was a great meal. - Such a large menu. And such interesting combinations. - We must come back. My compliments to the dumpster!

1 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

They say diet an exercise are good for you. - But there's something I want to know... - Who is this "they", and why don't they keep their opinions for themselves?!

2 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! - Hmf! - WHAP! - -

3 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I wonder what day it is? - - Well, duh.

4 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember, kids... - Always give 100 percent! - Um, except when donating blood. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

5 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hey, ugly dog! - Made you look! - BARK! BARK! BARK! I'm writing material for the squirrel.

6 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I got one of those robot vacuums. - WWWRRRRRRRRR - You mean the "mouse shuttle"?

7 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

When I met Liz, all my dreams came true! - - Except the ones where I talk to ferrets. You'll survive.

8 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Irma, what's today's breakfast special? - The triple-bypass burrito. - Here's the waiver to sign. No risk, no reward.

9 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Z tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity - Z tappity tappity tappity tappity DING! - WOOP! WOOP! WOOP! WOU WON! - BOOT! - - - tappity tappity tappity tappity tappity

10 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I'm not a morning person. - And, come to think of it... - I'm not actually a person.

11 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Remember... - If you can't say something nice... - Say something sarcastic.

12 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

HOW CAN I HELP YOU? - Bark! Bark! Bark! - BARK? BARK? I've completely lost respect for technology.

13 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Hmmm...nothing interesting outside. - "Why?" You may ask. - Because I'm inside!

14 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

I have bad days... - I have good days... - And, I have GREAT days!

15 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Don't worry! I've got everything under control! - - YAAAAAAHHH!!

16 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

- Let's go do something. okay. - Come on. Coming. - I'm at the door! Be right there. - Let's go! Almost ready. - - Z On my way.

17 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

Garfield, have you ever wanted to travel in space? - ---like, to visit Venus? Venus?! Seriously?! - WHER eMONDAYS LAST 2,802 HOURS?!!!

18 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

19 November 2019
 
 
   
Garfield

(null)

20 November 2019
 




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