I'm a take-charge kind of guy. - *DING-DONG* - What should we do? Revel in the irony of the moment?
1 October 2019
- GAH! - I never should have taught him that.
2 October 2019
BURP! - Whoa! Was that thunder?! - No, that was me. Cool! Do lightning.
3 October 2019
If the world were to end today... WHAT?! - It IS?! - I said, "if"! Stop hugging your accordion!
4 October 2019
Look at that beautiful sunset! - Okay. - It's over there. Tell it to move.
5 October 2019
YAWN - What kind of nap should I do today? The Doily? Nah... - The Ball? Nah... - The Laptop Layout? Nah... - The Sock-Drawer Snooze? Naaaah... - I guess it's true what they say... - You just can't beat the classics!
6 October 2019
Listen to this... - They say chewing gum on a diet helps prevent hunger. Really? - I find chewing bacon works even better.
7 October 2019
It's a beautiful day outside. - It's a beautiful day in the kitchen! - Now it's raining. It's always a beautiful day in the kitchen.
8 October 2019
"Dear Ask A Dog, what kind of dog are you anyway?" - Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! - A hockey fan.
9 October 2019
check out my menacing Glare - - No, no, wait. I think I can do it better. No, that was pretty scary.
10 October 2019
This is my house, Arlene. - - Who's that? Oh, just some stray I took in.
11 October 2019
Pooky is great. - - But not THAT great.
12 October 2019
Ahhhhhh... - BURP! - That's for the main course... - BURP BURP BURP - The three side dishes... - burp - And the after-dinner mint.
13 October 2019
And here's the weather forecast. - I won't say the weather is bad, but... - There's no point of getting out of bed. YES!
14 October 2019
Hello! - I'm Benny the Balloon Animal. - You look a little overinflated yourself. Go hug a cactus.
15 October 2019
"Dear Ask a Dog, what beverage goes best with dog food? - Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Seriously? - A cold bottle of sparkling toilet water?
16 October 2019
Look at the fluffy kitty... - She's staring at you. - It means "I love you". Actually it means "If you were smaller, I'd eat you".
17 October 2019
How long until dinner, Liz? - As soon as the broccoli is done. - How long does it take for broccoli to cook? Hopefully long enough for the pizza to get here.
18 October 2019
And the heroic dog... - Has saved the day! - Must not have been much of a day. click
19 October 2019
- Wooooo!... - I am the ghost of a hamburger that you ate! - - Wooooo!... munch munch - I am the gost of a gost of a hamburger that you ate! - OH, COME ON!
20 October 2019
Hey... - I have nothing to do. - Need any help?
21 October 2019
- You aren't bothering me with your staring. - YAAAAAHHHH!!
22 October 2019
We now return th "Cat Horror Theater". - Z - Wake up, Fluffy! YAAAHH
23 October 2019
OW! That's my eye! Sorry. - OW! That's my OTHER eye! Sorry. - We'll return the "The Invisible Man Gets a Tattoo" OW!
24 October 2019
I've DONE it Igor! Done what, master? - I've attached the brain of a pig to a beanpole! - What IS it. master? Me, in high school!
25 October 2019
Oooh! A worm! - Oooh! A bird! -
26 October 2019
Ugggghhh... - Errrrggghhh... - - - CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE CARVE - - -
27 October 2019
General, here comes The Great Mutant Puppies! - We have to protect the city! But how, sir? - Cover everything! That's a LOT of newspaper.
28 October 2019
My creation is alive! - Now, speak! Speak! Bark! Bark! - Igooooor? Where did you get that braaaain? Igor's in big trouble.
29 October 2019
And now back to "The Wolfman's Job Interview". - So, Mr. Talbot, do you have any special skills? - On a full moon, I can sit and roll over. Sounds like management material.
30 October 2019
Uh... - Hang on. - Boo. You had to write that down?
31 October 2019