I feel safer knowing there's a dog in the house. - - Protecting us from bad bones.
1 May 2019
- Hey... - We're like before-and-after pictures. Shut up.
2 May 2019
Do you think I'd make a good cowboy? - What if a horse steps on your foot? Oh... - Well, do you think I'd make a good ballet dancer? Not with that limp.
3 May 2019
Eat healthy, people! - And avoid snacks. - Snacks are mine.
4 May 2019
Hey, Garfield! - Look, Garfield! I found my old answering machine, and the tape is still in it! - Let's listen to all of my old messages! click - - - - SOB Ah, memories.
5 May 2019
YAWN - - How's your morning? The commute wasn't too bad.
6 May 2019
"Leftovers: noun..." - "Food remaining uneaten at the end of a meal." - See? It IS a word. Fascinating.
7 May 2019
A recent study revealed that four out of five dogs are profoundly stupid. - - The fifth is profoundly ugly.
8 May 2019
*PING! *PING! *PING! *PING! - GARFIELD! - Would you stop posting those pictures?! Hey, that litter box isn't going to clean itself, pal.
9 May 2019
Dinner ideas? Let's see... - A couple of pizzas, donuts, lasagna, some garlic bread... - And whatever you're having, of course. Of course.
10 May 2019
That new coffee place opened. Their sizes are huge! - I got the Cafe Colossal! - I got the mother of the Cafe Colossal.
11 May 2019
- Garfield! Dinner! - SHOOP! - GULP! - SHOOP! - THAT'S IT?! - BURP! There we go.
12 May 2019
Today I'm introducing a new feature. - - I call it "Look at the Handsome Cat".
13 May 2019
You know what's interesting? - What? - Those little villages made out of toothpicks! You know who's dull?
14 May 2019
ZOOOOOOM - GARFIELD! DO SOMETHING! Sure thing. - SLOW
15 May 2019
They say to avoid burping, you should drink slowly. gluk gluk gluk gluk - BURP! - Or you can just ler 'er rip!
16 May 2019
Purr Aww! - - Purr Nice try.
17 May 2019
"Dear Ask a Dog..." - "Do you bite?" Hmmm - Bark? Bark? No, this letter is not from a steak.
18 May 2019
- Let me guess... - You want me to throw that stick, right? - SWISH All right...fetch the stick, boy! - Ha! I faked him out! - How gullible can you get? Poor Odie. Poor, dumb Odie. - GARFIELD
19 May 2019
The world is my oyster. - No, that's not it... - The world is my pizza!
20 May 2019
You know, Garfield, I'm a pretty lucky guy. Lucky, lucky, lucky. I have my health, a loving family, a good home... - A decent car, impressive sock collection, a wonderful girlfriend, nifty cell phone, yep... - I pretty much have everything.
21 May 2019
Z a-HEM - Oh, sorry. - BARK BARK BARK BARK Good help is so hard to find.
22 May 2019
Cats are adorable. - No? - How about now?
23 May 2019
We should do something. You bet. - But we won't. Becaaause?... - We're cats. High five!
24 May 2019
My cookies are made with a secret ingredient. - What is it? - It's a SECRET, you dipwad! You don't mess with grandma.
25 May 2019
- Hey, Garfield! Let's do something! - We could take a walk! - Fly a kite! - Learn to knit! Plant a garden! - - Or you can ignore everything I say. Yeah, let's do that one.
26 May 2019
Sometimes in the morning... - I like to go for a walk. - Get off my face! On my way to breakfast.
27 May 2019
- I am NOT cleaning that up! - Yeah, I like it, too.
28 May 2019
- kick - Pavlov was right.
29 May 2019
Once I set my mind on something... - Did you hear that?! - Now, what was I talking about? Cheesecake.
30 May 2019
Arlene... - Someday I'll take you away from all of this. - But I like it here. Whew!
31 May 2019