tap tap tap - - You eat too fast. You feed too slow.
1 August 2019
Arlene, when it comes to looks, charm and wit, you have no competition. - Garfield! Dinner! Gotta go! - Now if I could only compete with that belly of his.
2 August 2019
A penny for your thoughts. - For MY thoughts? - A penny isn't much. Overpriced, I'd say.
3 August 2019
- I'm starting my diet today. - And rule on of dieting... - tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic - *DING-DONG* - Never start a diet on an empty stomach!
4 August 2019
- Three minutes and forty-five seconds. - That's how long your diet lasted. A NEW RECORD!
5 August 2019
I always finish what I start. - - And what Jon starts as well. Get away from my steak.
6 August 2019
"Dear Ask A Dog, what makes you such an expert?" - Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! - There's no such thing as a dog university.
7 August 2019
Greetings, earthlings... - We come in peace... - Take us to your theme parks! That explains the Hawaiian shirts and flip-flops.
8 August 2019
Too bad we didn't meet in high school, Liz. - I could have asked you to the prom. - Would you have said yes? Um... I think she was flossing her cat that night.
9 August 2019
Nice day. - A gnat just flew up my nose! - Unless you're a gnat.
10 August 2019
Hey, Garfield! - I can make myself disappear. Watch! - - - -
11 August 2019
ah, napping... - Or, as I like to call it... - Pressing life's pause button.
12 August 2019
Garfield, remember what Franklin Roosevelt said... - "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself". - I bet Franklin never had to stare down month-old sauerkraut.
13 August 2019
Z - BARK! - Worst alarm clock ever.
14 August 2019
Excuse me. - Is the ice age over? Yes. - Woo-hoo! Party! These pepperoni-and-deep-fried-cheese dreams are the weirdest.
15 August 2019
I like this new tea.flavored coffee. - Why don't you just drink tea? - Jon? Logic has that effect on him.
16 August 2019
purr purr purr - purr purr purr - Latest issue of "Yarn Enthusiast".
17 August 2019
hummmmmmmmmm - hummmmmmmmmm - hummmmmm-BWEEEP! - BWEEP! BWEEP! BWEEEEEEEEEEP! - dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig - Ah-HA! Uh-oh. - MY aCCORDION! I TOLD you to bury it deeper.
18 August 2019
Hello, Weekend! - BLINK! - Hello, Monday.
19 August 2019
I am a house cat. - - Otherwise known as a sunbeam devotee.
20 August 2019
"Dear Ask A Dog, am I wrong to feed my dog fattening snacks?" - Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! - Yes. Those should go to the cat.
21 August 2019
We mice are pretty sneaky, you know. - Oh, I don't know about that. - Says who?
22 August 2019
I'm not in a bad mood. - But I look like I am. Me, too. - It's fun being a cat. Oh, yeah.
23 August 2019
- I've got an eye on you. I've got an eye on YOU. - This is disturbing. I was going to say "weird".
24 August 2019
Hhhhhh... - Let's see...what should I have today? - CLOP CLOP CLOP - CLOP CLOP CLOP - Ah, yes! A nice 2014 red! - CLOP CLOP CLOP Every cat should have his own yarn cellar.
25 August 2019
Should I get out of bed this morning? - We're out of coffee, but we do have a lovely lavender herbal tea! - That would be a "nope".
26 August 2019
Happy tuesday! - Tuesday! - It feels more like monday, the sequel.
27 August 2019
What do dogs have that cats don't? - - A built-in humidifier.
28 August 2019
Sigh... - Such memories... - I'll never forget high school. Also known as "The Wedgie Years".
29 August 2019
I've been working out! That's great. - High five! - I can't. Today was arm day.
30 August 2019
The secret to losing weight is not eating less... - And it's not exercise... - It's setting the scale back five pounds!
31 August 2019